Accidents On Purpose? And How To Handle This DCM?

[Familycare71]

I would diaper him and dump a good portion of the playroom out for him to practice cleaning. That way he can pee while he cleans.

happyface happyface
Love this!! Put him in a diaper or pull up after he tries to go before clean up and have him clean himself up after!
I have taught my kids: sharing doesn't mean they have to give it to you while they are using it- it means you may play with it when they are done!

[daycarediva]

He has now missed music and sensory play. They are eating lunch, then he will also be missing story time unless he actually starts cleaning up!

Another dcb walked over to him and said "Just clean up. This is bonkers, dude!"

Kids always tell it like it is!

[momofboys]

I would diaper him and dump a good portion of the playroom out for him to practice cleaning. That way he can pee while he cleans.

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[momofboys]

He has now missed music and sensory play. They are eating lunch, then he will also be missing story time unless he actually starts cleaning up!

Another dcb walked over to him and said "Just clean up. This is bonkers, dude!" Kids always tell it like it is!

lovethis

[Leigh]

I had him (everyone, actually so as not to single him out) use the potty right before center clean up, then dcb proceeded to 'need to go potty' again during clean up less then 10 minutes later. He was NOT happy when he came out of the bathroom to find his mess waiting for him. He had to finish clean up before he could move on to the next activity (free art). That was 25 minutes ago, and dcb is still standing there staring at the toys and refuses to clean up. I even tried hand over hand and he yanked his hand back.

*sigh*

I think we should move on to music next, that's dcb's favorite thing ever.

Good for you! I would let him stare at the toys for the rest of the day if he chooses to. Just remind him gently every 5-10 minutes that if he picks up his toys he can go to the next activity.

[Leanna]

I would diaper him and dump a good portion of the playroom out for him to practice cleaning. That way he can pee while he cleans.

Wow. That is really mean.

[jessrlee]

What's mean about it? Why should someone get away with open defiance and manipulation just because they're a child? If I don't want to go to work on monday can I pee my pants and get out of it? No one is shaming the child. He would be in a diaper because he can't hold his bladder.

[Leanna]

Well according to the OP, he has amazing control over his bladder.
I never implied he should "get away with it," just that the statement was harsh & mean.

[Cradle2crayons]

Wow. That is really mean.

For the health and safety of everyone involved, I personally can NOT and will not allow a child to pee on my floor four times a day. That's why most of us have the two week accident free rule before they can start using underwear at daycare. It's unsanitary and that doesn't even address the defiance and manipulation part of it.

What's mean is to allow him to go through life and grow up thinking when he doesn't want to do his homework or he doesn't want to do x then he can just pee his pants. That would be terribly mean and unjust.

[Leigh]

Wow. That is really mean.

So, what SHOULD the provider do? Keep cleaning up pee? The kid needs a diaper until the kid quits peeing his pants, intentional or not.

Should provider hand control over to the child?

I don't see that as being mean at all.

[Laurel]

“yes dcm everyone is sad when they have to work instead of play. I know he may need some days , weeks, or months to get over being so sad. Just make sure you stop by each Friday to pay for his slot while he is in mourning"

Omg, I really need more smilies. That rofl one where he's kicking his feet and holding his stomach laughing so hard!!

Laurel

[Laurel]

I would diaper him and dump a good portion of the playroom out for him to practice cleaning. That way he can pee while he cleans.

That is a great solution. Wish I would have thought of it.

Laurel

[Laurel]

He has now missed music and sensory play. They are eating lunch, then he will also be missing story time unless he actually starts cleaning up!

Another dcb walked over to him and said "Just clean up. This is bonkers, dude!"

Kids always tell it like it is!

Wow, that would have made me smile....to myself.

Laurel

[daycarediva]

DCM walked in, at an unscheduled time (right before lunch) and wanted to pick dcb up early to take him to lunch. GREAT! NOT! Dcb hadn't cleaned up his center things, they were still right where he left him. I excused dcb and told him to go get his backpack ready, go potty, and wash his hands so Mom and I could chat.

Her first question was did dcb have accidents? No, Dcb had no accidents because I had him use the restroom right before each clean up time, unfortunately he wasn't able to do much today because he still refused to follow directions. I told her that dcb NEEDS to clean up after himself here, and that I would like her to reinforce my rules to him or we would need to rethink our arrangement. When dcb came out of the bathroom, dcm said "Dcb, Miss. ***** told me that you didn't clean up your center things. Kindly walk over and pick that mess up before we can leave." dcm stayed for 30 minutes, dcb went to the bathroom four times and dcm looked MORTIFIED because the kids kept asking why he wasn't cleaning up, why he wasn't leaving, why he was being naughty, that sort of thing. (very hard to distract a group of 2-5 year olds when all of this is going on!) Anytime dcm encouraged him, he would shoot her a nasty look, have a mini meltdown and then go potty. The last time he came out of the bathroom dcm said "Now dcb this is enough, you pick that up RIGHT NOW or we will go home. I won't take someone to lunch who isn't following the rules."

dcb screamed bloody MURDER for a good 2-3 minutes and then halfheartedly cleaned up. INSANITY! Dcm said "I am SO SORRY about this. We will be talking to dcb."

As dcb was putting on his shoes/coat, all of the other kids were moving smoothly from the end of lunch to clean up and asking to be excused, asking to help clean up the carrots, help bring plates to the sink, the first dcg done was setting up nap mats and putting out pillows and blankets, that sort of thing that we do everyday. I continually praised them, of course and dcm was watching all of that and said dcb responds well to positive reinforcement, have you tried that approach (of course, it's my GO TO) and I told her so, and then asked her "What could you have praised him for during the last 30 minutes?" she just nodded.

Also, he only had an ocean theme busy bag and felt letters activity out. It would have taken another child under a minute to clean it up.

[Cradle2crayons]

DCM walked in, at an unscheduled time (right before lunch) and wanted to pick dcb up early to take him to lunch. GREAT! NOT! Dcb hadn't cleaned up his center things, they were still right where he left him. I excused dcb and told him to go get his backpack ready, go potty, and wash his hands so Mom and I could chat.

Her first question was did dcb have accidents? No, Dcb had no accidents because I had him use the restroom right before each clean up time, unfortunately he wasn't able to do much today because he still refused to follow directions. I told her that dcb NEEDS to clean up after himself here, and that I would like her to reinforce my rules to him or we would need to rethink our arrangement. When dcb came out of the bathroom, dcm said "Dcb, Miss. ***** told me that you didn't clean up your center things. Kindly walk over and pick that mess up before we can leave." dcm stayed for 30 minutes, dcb went to the bathroom four times and dcm looked MORTIFIED because the kids kept asking why he wasn't cleaning up, why he wasn't leaving, why he was being naughty, that sort of thing. (very hard to distract a group of 2-5 year olds when all of this is going on!) Anytime dcm encouraged him, he would shoot her a nasty look, have a mini meltdown and then go potty. The last time he came out of the bathroom dcm said "Now dcb this is enough, you pick that up RIGHT NOW or we will go home. I won't take someone to lunch who isn't following the rules."

dcb screamed bloody MURDER for a good 2-3 minutes and then halfheartedly cleaned up. INSANITY! Dcm said "I am SO SORRY about this. We will be talking to dcb."

As dcb was putting on his shoes/coat, all of the other kids were moving smoothly from the end of lunch to clean up and asking to be excused, asking to help clean up the carrots, help bring plates to the sink, the first dcg done was setting up nap mats and putting out pillows and blankets, that sort of thing that we do everyday. I continually praised them, of course and dcm was watching all of that and said dcb responds well to positive reinforcement, have you tried that approach (of course, it's my GO TO) and I told her so, and then asked her "What could you have praised him for during the last 30 minutes?" she just nodded.

Also, he only had an ocean theme busy bag and felt letters activity out. It would have taken another child under a minute to clean it up.

That was an awesome experience for mom to see!!!! Good job!!! And the having to watch the others doing so well. That's awesome now she understands what you are saying, maybe she will try to do better at home.