Accidents On Purpose? And How To Handle This DCM?

[AmyLeigh]

ha.

"oh my, he must be so upset about something going on here to have this many accidents."

"yes dcm, he is upset about having to clean up."

"Ohhh no, he has always had a rough time with transitions and he ONLY has accidents when he is sad."

I couldn't help it. I rolled my eyes and walked away and left her standing in the doorway before I said something really unprofessional. Dcm said from the entry while I went back to the other kids "Well, I'm not sure if dcb will be here tomorrow because of this! I will let you know!"

and here was me although I did say "Ok!"

SEE YA CRAZY LADY!

Fast forward about 10-15 years...."But officer, he only resisted arrest because he was upset, you must have scared him. Poor baby....He just wanted the neighbor to share his new TV and stereo."

(I have extended family like this. It really gets almost that bad!)

[daycarediva]

She sent me an unhappy email, which I (begrudgingly) replied to, telling her that GROUP care is quite different from the 1:1 care she has at home with dcb. There are more distractions, more noise, and more accidents. There are also more rules, routine/structure and expectations. Daycare IS work to a child, and I said in the email that I believed dcb was deliberately having accidents to avoid clean up time (which Mom has said to me on MANY occasions he doesn't have to do at home, they don't mind his toys everywhere and will pick up themselves if needed) Again, that's not realistic and what she was told in the email. She didn't say if they were coming tomorrow, but I told her to let me know by 7am, reminded her about her payment due tomorrow and left it at that.

[nannyde]

ha.

"oh my, he must be so upset about something going on here to have this many accidents."

"yes dcm, he is upset about having to clean up."

"Ohhh no, he has always had a rough time with transitions and he ONLY has accidents when he is sad."

I couldn't help it. I rolled my eyes and walked away and left her standing in the doorway before I said something really unprofessional. Dcm said from the entry while I went back to the other kids "Well, I'm not sure if dcb will be here tomorrow because of this! I will let you know!"

and here was me although I did say "Ok!"

SEE YA CRAZY LADY!

“yes dcm everyone is sad when they have to work instead of play. I know he may need some days , weeks, or months to get over being so sad. Just make sure you stop by each Friday to pay for his slot while he is in mourning"

[nannyde]

I would diaper him and dump a good portion of the playroom out for him to practice cleaning. That way he can pee while he cleans.

[daycarediva]

I would diaper him and dump a good portion of the playroom out for him to practice cleaning. That way he can pee while he cleans.

:: ohhh goodness. My husband thinks you are simply genius. That was the funniest thing he has heard all day. ::

[MamaBearCanada]

ha.

"oh my, he must be so upset about something going on here to have this many accidents."

"yes dcm, he is upset about having to clean up."

"Ohhh no, he has always had a rough time with transitions and he ONLY has accidents when he is sad."

I couldn't help it. I rolled my eyes and walked away and left her standing in the doorway before I said something really unprofessional. Dcm said from the entry while I went back to the other kids "Well, I'm not sure if dcb will be here tomorrow because of this! I will let you know!"

and here was me although I did say "Ok!"

SEE YA CRAZY LADY!

"Ok well let me know what you're doing at home to nip that manipulation in the bud & if possible I'll do the same here. I mean, I'd hate for him to be teased at school if he pees his pants every time he doesn't get his own way!" Big smile. ::

Jk but really!

[daycarediva]

“yes dcm everyone is sad when they have to work instead of play. I know he may need some days , weeks, or months to get over being so sad. Just make sure you stop by each Friday to pay for his slot while he is in mourning"

I will probably use that sentence! Now, if I could make her realize it would be better for him to learn how to appropriately handle himself when he IS sad, instead of making excuses for him.

[UtahMomma]

I would diaper him and dump a good portion of the playroom out for him to practice cleaning. That way he can pee while he cleans.

HA! ::::::

[Cradle2crayons]

I would diaper him and dump a good portion of the playroom out for him to practice cleaning. That way he can pee while he cleans.

Awesome idea. Practice does make perfect right??

At my house, that would be considered NOT potty trained. Two accidents in one day... Yep... Back in diapers...

[daycare]

I would diaper him and dump a good portion of the playroom out for him to practice cleaning. That way he can pee while he cleans.

.....that is the funniest thing I have heard all day

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Holy cow. What a nut.

[Leigh]

I have one like that, too! Every time it is time to clean up, he poops (still diapered, thank God, but he knows I will have to change him). Every time he gets a time-out, he poops (thinks he will get out of time out-he only gets time-out for hitting, which he does a lot of). Pretty much every time he doesn't get his way, he poops. I don't know how he does it, and I told his mom that if he has enough control to poop whenever he wishes to avoid something, he should be able to use the toilet!

When he poops during clean up, I have the other kids STOP cleaning up and wait for his diaper change, then send him back-it makes him furious.

When he poops in time-out, then I stop the timer, change him, then start the timer back up (I use an electronic timer to measure time-out).

I've no help from Mom-her answer to all misbehavior is that he must be upset about something. He is upset about having to clean up, he is upset about being punished for punching other kids, no doubt.

I agree with Nannyde...Tell mom that kids who pee their pants wear diapers, and INSIST that he come with diapers or pull ups until the accidents stop. And, TREAT them like accidents, too-don't punish the kid for peeing-just don't let him get his way because of it, either. As far as cleaning up behind him-I wouldn't let him manipulate you that way. At my house, it would have still been there when his mom came to pick him up, and I would have told him right in front of her that he could go home as soon as he got the mess he made cleaned up. I have made parents wait at the front door while a reluctant child picked up Legos from 2 hours ago, or finished a time-out.

[countrymom]

diaper him
leave the mess for him and his mom

imagine when he goes to school, "I'm sorry teacher, my son can't clean up or do work because he will pee his pants and the kids will laugh at him"

[ABCDaycareMN]

Diaper him or send him home after first (accident) if mom will not supply diapers.

[daycarediva]

I had him (everyone, actually so as not to single him out) use the potty right before center clean up, then dcb proceeded to 'need to go potty' again during clean up less then 10 minutes later. He was NOT happy when he came out of the bathroom to find his mess waiting for him. He had to finish clean up before he could move on to the next activity (free art). That was 25 minutes ago, and dcb is still standing there staring at the toys and refuses to clean up. I even tried hand over hand and he yanked his hand back.

*sigh*

I think we should move on to music next, that's dcb's favorite thing ever.