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This is long-sorry!
I have a dcb, almost 3/next month and has been potty trained for a good 4-5 months with very infrequent accidents. Yesterday he peed in his pants during AM clean up time, so I sent him to the bathroom to change and the kids finished cleaning up. I thought nothing of it. THEN he did it at PM clean up time. The timing was a little TOO perfect. I held back some toys and he cleaned them up when he was done getting changed.
Mom way over reacted to his accidents at pick up (imo), even though I said NOTHING about the timing of them. She read over his take home sheet, bent down to dcb and said "Dcb is something bothering you? What happened to make you so upset you wet your pants?" and dcb said "My friends was mean to me!"
Mom started to make a fuss over him, so I intervened and asked dcb when his friends were mean and dcb says "They not give me the cars!" and I explained to Mom that dcb has a difficult time sharing the cars and of course his perception of his sharing and those of his friends are quite different, and that the free play incidents and the accidents were spaced far enough apart that the timing was off, kids just have accidents, there doesn't need to be a reason. blah blah She left in a huff, then sent me texts later about it, and his not napping yesterday-or ever-, which I ignored (after hours!)
This morning she came in, ignored me completely and was all cheery and asked dcb "Now if your friends won't share with you, what are you going to tell them?" and dcb said "My say YOU HAVE TO SHARE FRIENDS!" and dcm smiled sweetly at me and left.
Today, dcb has had 3 accidents. ALL at times he has to do a non-preferred activity, am clean up, outside clean up and lunch clean up and I am CERTAIN he will have an accident at PM clean up as well.
After his third accident dcb said "Na-na I no has to clean up!" and ran to the bathroom. I left ALL OF his mess at the table and it was waiting for him when he was done. He threw a MASSIVE fit, tossed his plate on the floor (filled with veggies that he never eats) and tried to go join the other kids on the rug for story time. I redirected dcb back to cleaning up. Since he doesn't nap anyway (whole different story), it was no inconvenience to me to allow unlimited clean up time. I told dcb that as soon as he was finished cleaning up, he could join us. Well, everyone is done with stories, hand washing, pottying, teeth brushing and is asleep and dcb still refuses to touch a single pea or piece of broccoli. They.were.everywhere. I even tried offering to help and he said "I not helping!" I sent him to lay on his nap mat and just cleaned it up myself.
W T H? How would you handle this kid? Mom?
He is part time- 2 days per week. Nap issue is that his Mom tells him he doesn't have to sleep, just rest so he wiggles, moves, bothers friends, makes noise, to keep himself awake. Mom prefers he not nap because he falls asleep at 6:30-7 instead of 7:30-8. I do require that he lay QUIETLY on a mat and look at books/quiet toys. Mom disagrees and has TOLD me that she asked around and 'that seems to be the standard of care for kids who aren't comfortable enough to sleep away from home'.
I have a dcb, almost 3/next month and has been potty trained for a good 4-5 months with very infrequent accidents. Yesterday he peed in his pants during AM clean up time, so I sent him to the bathroom to change and the kids finished cleaning up. I thought nothing of it. THEN he did it at PM clean up time. The timing was a little TOO perfect. I held back some toys and he cleaned them up when he was done getting changed.
Mom way over reacted to his accidents at pick up (imo), even though I said NOTHING about the timing of them. She read over his take home sheet, bent down to dcb and said "Dcb is something bothering you? What happened to make you so upset you wet your pants?" and dcb said "My friends was mean to me!"
Mom started to make a fuss over him, so I intervened and asked dcb when his friends were mean and dcb says "They not give me the cars!" and I explained to Mom that dcb has a difficult time sharing the cars and of course his perception of his sharing and those of his friends are quite different, and that the free play incidents and the accidents were spaced far enough apart that the timing was off, kids just have accidents, there doesn't need to be a reason. blah blah She left in a huff, then sent me texts later about it, and his not napping yesterday-or ever-, which I ignored (after hours!)This morning she came in, ignored me completely and was all cheery and asked dcb "Now if your friends won't share with you, what are you going to tell them?" and dcb said "My say YOU HAVE TO SHARE FRIENDS!" and dcm smiled sweetly at me and left.
Today, dcb has had 3 accidents. ALL at times he has to do a non-preferred activity, am clean up, outside clean up and lunch clean up and I am CERTAIN he will have an accident at PM clean up as well.
After his third accident dcb said "Na-na I no has to clean up!" and ran to the bathroom. I left ALL OF his mess at the table and it was waiting for him when he was done. He threw a MASSIVE fit, tossed his plate on the floor (filled with veggies that he never eats) and tried to go join the other kids on the rug for story time. I redirected dcb back to cleaning up. Since he doesn't nap anyway (whole different story), it was no inconvenience to me to allow unlimited clean up time. I told dcb that as soon as he was finished cleaning up, he could join us. Well, everyone is done with stories, hand washing, pottying, teeth brushing and is asleep and dcb still refuses to touch a single pea or piece of broccoli. They.were.everywhere. I even tried offering to help and he said "I not helping!" I sent him to lay on his nap mat and just cleaned it up myself.
W T H? How would you handle this kid? Mom?
He is part time- 2 days per week. Nap issue is that his Mom tells him he doesn't have to sleep, just rest so he wiggles, moves, bothers friends, makes noise, to keep himself awake. Mom prefers he not nap because he falls asleep at 6:30-7 instead of 7:30-8. I do require that he lay QUIETLY on a mat and look at books/quiet toys. Mom disagrees and has TOLD me that she asked around and 'that seems to be the standard of care for kids who aren't comfortable enough to sleep away from home'.
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