I know you are sick of this but I really am stumped

[Leigh]

I understand your frustration, however, a healthy child will NEVER starve himself to death. Ask the parents to have the child evaluated by a doctor. If the child is healthy, just keep offering food and don't sweat it when he doesn't eat. Really, it's all you CAN do.

[lflick]

I've only offered a pop tart on one occasion for breakfast, I just was using it as an example of things that were refused that are typically consumed. Child also has many food allergies so some things are limited; however, not a big deal as my menu is very healthy. Mom has requested I offer him meals multiple times a day... I did explain when he is the only child in my care for the day I am more flexible with offering the meals; however, when he is part of a group we do have to keep meals as a group otherwise I'd be opening the door to many other issues.

[melilley]

I have a dcb who is 22 months and rarely eats here. He will only eat bread products and peanut butter or lunch meat. His mom says that he has a texture aversion and won't eat anything that is stringy or has a certain texture. Now, I half believe this because he has eaten some things that his mom said he will never eat, but rarely. I believe that children won't starve themselves and will eat if hungry, but I still feel bad if this child doesn't eat so I will make him a sandwich and he usually eats it up. I know I should just serve him what we are having and walk away, but personally I just can't seem to do that...
On another note when my daughter was around this age she wouldn't eat barely anything but hot dogs and chicken nuggets so that's what I let her eat. It made me feel better because at least she had something to eat! Please don't judge me.... I was young and didn't think of how unhealthy those foods are and should only be eaten in moderation!
I think that many children go through this phase.
If you are really concerned, but the child's parents aren't, you could always tell them that you need a note from his doctor, though I don't know what you would say it was for. The sleeping all day is probably a result of not eating. Sorry, I don't have any great advice for you either.

[Heidi]

If you are really worried, start a journal going back and forth for a week. Both you and mom should document what meals were offered when, and how much, if any, he ate. The same with sleep, in your case I would also jot down activities (offered playdough, did not participate or offered paints, painted several pictures). Also, energy level & mood. Alert, lethargic, fussy, etc.

First, it'll help you see if there are any patterns. Maybe he has other food allergies that haven't been recognized. Maybe his iron level is low. Maybe once mom sees just what you offer, and how little he eats overall, she will at least talk to her doctor.

Maybe he IS just that picky. But, it's been going on long enough, and you've offered enough variety, made enough attempts to offer junk just to see if he'd eat anything, that I'd be concerned to. Especially since there are so many other "off" behaviors.

Ask her to do it for just a week "just to alleviate my concern".

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

IMHO just offer the food. if he doesn't eat it, oh well, he goes hungry till snack. Do the same with snacks.

IF he is thirsty enough he will drink out of what he has eventually, if not, oh well.

If he is a grump, too bad. Play with toys anyway.

You seem to be trying to please someone that just cant be pleased.

If it really interrupts your day, term him. If mom doesn't care, well I guess all you can do is your job. She can deal with his stuff when he leaves.

You cant cater to this child all day, he needs to figure out how to deal with himself by himself.

[crunchymama]

What does mom usually put in his bottle/sippy, and how often does she refill it? I'm betting this little guy is getting a lot of milk at home, possibly even overnight. I had a child just as you described and when pushed mom admitted she gives a sippy of milk at bed and usually refills it at least once throughout the night, then another cup of milk before coming to care. The average sippy is about 10oz so that alone is 30oz of milk plus what provider offers and what parents are giving in the evening.
I obviously don't know your specific child but I'm just guessing based on my experience, too much milk and a sippy at night. Also, a sippy at night would explain a bit of the tiredness during the day. He's still waking at night to drink when he really should be sleeping through the night.

As for what I would do in your position, I would write up my concerns and give mom a copy and have her sign and date one for your files. Then leave it alone.

[Heidi]

What does mom usually put in his bottle/sippy, and how often does she refill it? I'm betting this little guy is getting a lot of milk at home, possibly even overnight. I had a child just as you described and when pushed mom admitted she gives a sippy of milk at bed and usually refills it at least once throughout the night, then another cup of milk before coming to care. The average sippy is about 10oz so that alone is 30oz of milk plus what provider offers and what parents are giving in the evening.
I obviously don't know your specific child but I'm just guessing based on my experience, too much milk and a sippy at night. Also, a sippy at night would explain a bit of the tiredness during the day. He's still waking at night to drink when he really should be sleeping through the night.

As for what I would do in your position, I would write up my concerns and give mom a copy and have her sign and date one for your files. Then leave it alone.

That makes sense, too. One of my dcb's was doing this at that age. He hardly ate, and gma would say things like "he's just not a breakfast guy", yet he is very sturdy.

One clue was that within an hour of being here, his diaper was sopping wet.

After some fact finding, I pointed out to gma that while formula offers complete nutrition, milk does not. So, he NEEDED food in order to get all his vitamins and minerals.

I believe they started watering down his milk at night, then giving him less and less, so over a few weeks, he went from full sippies of milk all night to sippies with a little water in them.

He IS a breakfast guy!::

[Leigh]

I have a dcb who is 22 months and rarely eats here. He will only eat bread products and peanut butter or lunch meat. His mom says that he has a texture aversion and won't eat anything that is stringy or has a certain texture. Now, I half believe this because he has eaten some things that his mom said he will never eat, but rarely. I believe that children won't starve themselves and will eat if hungry, but I still feel bad if this child doesn't eat so I will make him a sandwich and he usually eats it up. I know I should just serve him what we are having and walk away, but personally I just can't seem to do that...
On another note when my daughter was around this age she wouldn't eat barely anything but hot dogs and chicken nuggets so that's what I let her eat. It made me feel better because at least she had something to eat! Please don't judge me.... I was young and didn't think of how unhealthy those foods are and should only be eaten in moderation!
I think that many children go through this phase.
If you are really concerned, but the child's parents aren't, you could always tell them that you need a note from his doctor, though I don't know what you would say it was for. The sleeping all day is probably a result of not eating. Sorry, I don't have any great advice for you either.

Toddlers often go through stages where they are picky. It's normal, it's not misbehavior, and sometimes all you can do is indulge it. Your kid didn't die from Chicken Nuggets and hot dogs, and I'll bet that your kid eats healthier now. You're certainly not a bad parent for that! I DO cater to picky kids to an extent, because it's not their fault. Sometimes they truly believe that green foods or crunchy foods or whatever are simply not edible and it freaks them out to eat them. I'm lucky that the kids I have now will eat absolutely anything.

[Evansmom]

I agree that the only thing you can do is offer but I have to reiterate my concern from above that this child may be anemic, maybe severely anemic. It's the sleeping that tips me off there. My own DS2 was very anemic at 9mo (I won't even go into the guilt I felt there!!!!!!) and he was SO tired and sleeping a ton.

If your DCK is getting no major sources of iron because they are putting cow milk in his bottle and that's the main source of food then he could easily be severely anemic. If they are putting iron fortified formula in his bottles I wouldn't be concerned and then carry on just offering foods at regular mealtimes.