I know you are sick of this but I really am stumped

[lflick]

Hello

For those that are regulars here I apologize for the redundancy but I am really at a loss with a child. This 20 month old DCB will NOT eat! He won't eat anything literally... he barely will even drink his milk during the day.... I have tried everything with him.. when he is the only one here I offer more times than I do when he is with a group and still nothing. At best he sits quietly for about 5 minutes prior to throwing a fit. He is clearly tired and would sleep all day if he was able to ... he gets two naps during the day most days ... it doesn't matter what I do he will not eat. Is this a normal occurrence? I have talked with mom on multiple occasions and she doesn't seem very concerned.. writes it off as him being picky... says if I serve him chicken nuggets he will eat... well he doesn't not to mention I can't very well feed him nuggets every day! WWYD?

[Unregistered]

How long has this gone on?

Sometimes, little ones can refuse to eat for even a couple weeks, but if this is an ongoing problem, and he is doing nothing but wanting to sleep, there could be something wrong with him.

With summer here, it's extremely important that the child is hydrated, and if he's refusing to eat or even drink milk, it's time for a doctor's evaluation. It could be that he can't process certain foods (such as wheat) and that eating causes him pain, it could be that he doesn't like certain textures, it could be he's stopped up, so many things it could be.

The thing that concerns me is not that he's just not eating, but that he HAS not been eating for what appears to be a pretty good period of time and that he's unusually sleepy for a child of his age.

I'd tell mom to get him a doctor ASAP and that she needs to bring a note that he's been seen and any diagnosis (if any) as well as a plan before you'll accept him back. This is really for his own well-being.

[CedarCreek]

How long have you had him?

I have one that started with me when he was 24 months and same thing, would not eat. He was shy and had to warm up to me for a while. I found out that he is not a morning person and doesn't like to eat breakfast. I still offer it to him but he doesn't want it. The rest of the day, he eats now. But there are things I found that bother him. He doesn't like the texture of jello, cooked carrots, or peaches.

He's just picky.

[MyAngels]

I think I have his twin . Mine just crumbles everything up, but rarely actually eats anything. He's 22 months. The one thing he'll eat for me is chicken and cheese rolled up in a tortilla, but it has to be skinny, not fat, or he won't touch it . He is growing and developing normally, though, so I just keep offering a variety and hoping he'll decide to eat soon.

Sorry I don't have any great insights .

[Cat Herder]

Know that you are not responsible for 100% of his nutrition. His rapid growth is slowing at this stage, his appetite will follow.

The more you stress over it and continue to push, the more he will resist.

Offer the food, then walk away. Don't let him see you watching. Act like it is no big deal, you do this for a living.

If he does not want to eat, let him down. Rinse, repeat.

As long as he is growing and Mom/Pediatrician are happy... let it go.

Meals should be stress free and he will eat once it is. Eating is fun after all.

You can offer Pediasure if it makes you feel better, but know it will resolve itself naturally.

Edit: Don't fall into the Disney Mom trap of giving him what he WILL eat. Stick with what his body NEEDS him to eat. Otherwise this can go on for years, IMHE.

[lflick]

He has been doing it for well over a month. He is a sleeper and is not pleasent upon waking... he is not a morning person... after nap person... it seems by the time he is awake and not crabby he is ready for more sleep shortly after. Mom again, is not concerned, but I am. I feel like a pest constantly bringing it up to her but it really does bother me. She stated he is in fact a picky eater but claims he eats for her if she serves like mixed veggies and nuggets, which isn't an issue.. except I can't serve it daily multiple times a day. I fear he is so tired because he isn't eating... when he is tired he is very whiney all day long.... I just see a vicious cycle that I am uncertain how to break.

[Unregistered]

It would concern me if he held out that long even when offered things he normally eats. I tend to go by the notion it our job to offer them nutitious options to eat, and there job to determise how much they will eat. Eating nothing and drinking nothing for day after day would worry me though.

Any chance he is mostly bottle and spoon feed at home? Just not used to feeding himself. I've had a few toddlers start who had no clue how to go about feeding themselves as it was always done for them. Parents found it easier and less mess.

[Cat Herder]

he eats for her if she serves like mixed veggies and nuggets, which isn't an issue.. .

That would tell me his starch requirements are met at home so I need to focus on his proteins, dark leafys, and whole grains.

[lflick]

It would concern me if he held out that long even when offered things he normally eats. I tend to go by the notion it our job to offer them nutitious options to eat, and there job to determise how much they will eat. Eating nothing and drinking nothing for day after day would worry me though.

Any chance he is mostly bottle and spoon feed at home? Just not used to feeding himself. I've had a few toddlers start who had no clue how to go about feeding themselves as it was always done for them. Parents found it easier and less mess.

Glad you mentioned this... I am told he is offered a bottle IF he wants it at home but drinks from a cup the majority of the time. His sippy is a very similar to a bottle nipple as well and that is what he uses here. I attempt to help him out with say pudding and he flat out screams at me. He threw a bowel of cereal on the floor the other day... I do offer food and go about my business in the kitchen.... so I am near and when he is quietly sitting staring I prompt eating and say yum yum eat or something similar... nothing has worked and I am just really concerned. In my experience even the pickiest of eaters eat sometimes... whether they like it or not as they are hungry. I have even went as far as to try to get him to eat a poptart!

[lflick]

That would tell me his starch requirements are met at home so I need to focus on his proteins, dark leafys, and whole grains.

I do offer all food groups and only serve whole grain noodles and bread. He just is a stinker I think!

[Evansmom]

I'd be worried too but the way I see it, it's not your place to fix it. If mom isn't concerned and you've brought it up with her then all you can do is keep offering the food. Keep the drama low, don't make any big or small deals about it. Just offer food to him in a positive, no stress manner.

I would wonder tho if he's anemic. With all the sleepiness and loss of appetite. I'd probably mention this to the mom but it's her choice to follow up with pedi or a blood test.

[Cat Herder]

I do offer all food groups and only serve whole grain noodles and bread. He just is a stinker I think!

Oh, I am sure you do... the fact that he is acting out tells me that. ::

I also know many Moms read this site during lunch hour (for a fact) passive education works too... hehe

Stick to it, don't cave and don't push. It works.

[Laurel]

I just Googled it. Hearing from these moms might make you feel better. Some ideas here too.

http://www.circleofmoms.com/april-2007-babies/my-20-months-old-won-t-eat-125372

It seems to be a rather common problem at that age. I once had a drop-in toddler girl that would only eat Goldfish crackers and Pediasure. I tried other things thinking that couldn't be possible but it was!

Laurel

[Blackcat31]

Seems to me that the provider is the only one concerned about this issue when there really should be a few others in this picture more concerned.

I think you need to serve health food choices and leave the rest alone.

You can't force a child to eat and if his habit or tastes are not a good fit for your program you can either let him go or you can simply not address his picky preferences.

I think by going above and beyond and doing things like offering him a poptart etc, you are feeding this unhealthy eating habit and reinforcing the pickiness....kwim?

You already said the mom is not very concerned about it so if he chooses to not eat at your house there really isn't much you can do other than serve chicken nuggets everyday.

[Oneluckymom]

I'd bet he's given a bottle at home IF he doesn't eat....and....he's holding out for a bottle.

Nutrition wise I bet he is anemic and I'd be VERY concerned.