Would It Be Wrong?

[countrymom]

but I can see it as a problem because what is going to happen when the other kids want to ride it, your ds is going to get mean about it. It will happen. Also, be prepared for your ds for holler "mine" all the time, its normal but this is what is going to happen.

[CedarCreek]

but I can see it as a problem because what is going to happen when the other kids want to ride it, your ds is going to get mean about it. It will happen. Also, be prepared for your ds for holler "mine" all the time, its normal but this is what is going to happen.

Then that's an opportunity to teach them how to be nice about it. How else would he learn?

I would do it too. I'm in the camp of my children already have to share enough of their life as it is.

[Evansmom]

Yup! I agree, get him his own car for his bday. My kids all have their own space and toys that are separate from daycare toys. They do not have to share their special things. Whenever the topic has come up with daycare kids I always say "When you go home you have all your special toys that you do not share with our daycare. These are DS's special toys at his home that he does not have to share with our daycare." That sounds fair to me!

I might mention that our daycare has a whole room stocked with every toy and game you can imagine that the daycare kids have full access to. I don't feel bad in the least!

[TheGoodLife]

Not everything in life will be fair, equal, be shared, those lessons come easier now when it's just a bike.

This is a lesson that all kids really need to learn- very important in life! As long as you're teaching your child to be respectful and not brag/ hold it over anyone's head, they should be able to have their own special possessions in their own home, too! Hope you find a great one for him

[Leigh]

I don't think it would be the end of the world if your son has his own Cozy Coupe.

I, however, would not do this. I don't allow the DCK's to bring their own toys to daycare, and I keep my son's own toys separate from daycare, too. First, I want him to feel that he has things that are solely his (it's bad enough that he has to share his mom and his house).

I, too, have 2 coupes and 3 kids. Anyone who starts a fight over them is not allowed to play with them for the rest of the day. There are no longer fights. I DO have a 3rd Coupe that belongs only to my son, and we keep that one indoors for him to play with off-hours. It's nice to have some inside ride ons for winter and rainy weekends, anyway!

[bunnyslippers]

I have always allowed special for my kids in my child care. This is their home, and their toys are their toys. I have also always let my kids have their toys be off-limits to daycare kids.

I see no problem with allowing your child to have his own cozy coupe. Fair doesn't always mean equal! As long as your son is nice about it, and knows how to be kind to the other children, I would absolutely buy him his own.

[cheerfuldom]

but I can see it as a problem because what is going to happen when the other kids want to ride it, your ds is going to get mean about it. It will happen. Also, be prepared for your ds for holler "mine" all the time, its normal but this is what is going to happen.

I disagree. My THREE older kids have their own bikes in the garage amongst the daycare bikes. We pull everything out and my kids grab their own bikes and the daycare kids know which others they can choose from. It has NEVER been an issue. I have never even had to explain "This is so and so's bike". And I dont see my kids having a "holier than thou" attitude. In fact, many times they offer their own bikes for the daycare kids to try and I let them decide when or if they would like to share.

[lovemykidstoo]

I disagree. My THREE older kids have their own bikes in the garage amongst the daycare bikes. We pull everything out and my kids grab their own bikes and the daycare kids know which others they can choose from. It has NEVER been an issue. I have never even had to explain "This is so and so's bike". And I dont see my kids having a "holier than thou" attitude. In fact, many times they offer their own bikes for the daycare kids to try and I let them decide when or if they would like to share.

Exactly. Why would it be assumed that her son would be mean also? My kids never were made to share their own toys. If they chose to do so, which they did alot, that was their choice.

Another way to think about it. Is it reasonable to think that with some providers working 50+ hours a week that their own kids won't play with their own toys during that time? That is totally unfair to the providers own children. Oh here Johnny here's your own brand new cozy coupe, but you can't use it until after 5:30 in the evening. Same as alot here, I've never had a problem with my kids' toys.

[ABCDaycareMN]

I don't think it would be the end of the world if your son has his own Cozy Coupe.

I, however, would not do this. I don't allow the DCK's to bring their own toys to daycare, and I keep my son's own toys separate from daycare, too. First, I want him to feel that he has things that are solely his (it's bad enough that he has to share his mom and his house).

I, too, have 2 coupes and 3 kids. Anyone who starts a fight over them is not allowed to play with them for the rest of the day. There are no longer fights. I DO have a 3rd Coupe that belongs only to my son, and we keep that one indoors for him to play with off-hours. It's nice to have some inside ride ons for winter and rainy weekends, anyway!

[Blackcat31]

I don't think it would be the end of the world if your son has his own Cozy Coupe.

I, however, would not do this. I don't allow the DCK's to bring their own toys to daycare, and I keep my son's own toys separate from daycare, too. First, I want him to feel that he has things that are solely his (it's bad enough that he has to share his mom and his house).

I, too, have 2 coupes and 3 kids. Anyone who starts a fight over them is not allowed to play with them for the rest of the day. There are no longer fights. I DO have a 3rd Coupe that belongs only to my son, and we keep that one indoors for him to play with off-hours. It's nice to have some inside ride ons for winter and rainy weekends, anyway!

My kids were mine but I expected them to behave and follow the same rules as the daycare kids during daycare hours.

I too, think it's fine that your DS has his own car that he does not have to share with the other kids but I wouldn't let him use it during daycare hours.

I know many of you have said you have done special for your own children because your daycare is their home etc.... but that is the exact reason why I left my care provider and enrolled my kids in a center (until I started my own daycare).

It might be your child's home but during daycare hours, it is a business.

That's MY personal opinion.

[MarinaVanessa]

I personally do not force my children to share their private and personal toys and the DC kids are not allowed into my kids private space (their rooms) unless specifically invited to do so.

That being said, one of the main focuses of my daycare is to teach the DCK's manners, respect, valuing their friendships, cooperation and sharing etc. The DC toys are MY TOYS and I SHARE them with my own kids and with my DCK's. If my own kids don't want to share their toys during DC hours I'm okay with that BUT then that means that their toys stay away from the DC space (in their rooms/garage etc.).

I personally wouldn't buy an item for my own child to be used during DC and then not allow the DCK's to use it. For me it would go against the grain of what I teach to the kids here. Although my children are my children and I love them very much I try as much as possible not to show favoritism and I treat them the same as I would my DCK's. They follow the same rules and receive the same guidance and discipline. I can just imagine this creating conflict and possibly resentment towards my own child so I wouldn't do it. I also imagine the possibility of my own child feeling empowerment over the other children from being treated special.

In any case, it's what YOU feel like you should do. Not what we feel. Everyone has their style and opinion and for a decision like this it really should be up to you, not us. If you feel like making that purchase for your son, then go for it! Only you know your child, your group of DCK's and your DCP's. If you don't think that it will cause a problem then it shouldn't be a big deal.

[MissAnn]

I know many of you have said you have done special for your own children because your daycare is their home etc.... but that is the exact reason why I left my care provider and enrolled my kids in a center (until I started my own daycare).

It might be your child's home but during daycare hours, it is a business.

That's MY personal opinion.

This is how I feel. I had a daycare when my kids were small. My kids did share all of their toys and never minded. I never thought of doing it any other way. When she got one of those battery jeep things....yes, it was her toy.....but during daycare hours all kids got to use it and it was never an issue.

[cheerfuldom]

My kids were mine but I expected them to behave and follow the same rules as the daycare kids during daycare hours.

I too, think it's fine that your DS has his own car that he does not have to share with the other kids but I wouldn't let him use it during daycare hours.

I know many of you have said you have done special for your own children because your daycare is their home etc.... but that is the exact reason why I left my care provider and enrolled my kids in a center (until I started my own daycare).

It might be your child's home but during daycare hours, it is a business.

That's MY personal opinion.

I see your point of view and if I had a parent that felt that way, I wouldnt change anything, I would ask that they go find another daycare. No hard feelings with the parents, its just not how I do things. But I have been very fortunate, especially in the last two years, to work with parents that are respectful and accepting with how I run things. Its been a long time since I have heard any complaints about stuff like that. My kids will go out with their Dad to play and I dont shuttle them back in just because the daycare parents might see that my kids got sprinkler time while theirs were indoors coloring. My kids do have their own bikes and toys. Sometimes they will get to do little things that I dont allow with the daycare kids (like barefeet outside). If a daycare parent wants every child treated exactly the same at all times, this isnt the place for them. I have four of my own kids and its just not something I can promise. but I do try in general for everyone to have the same routine and opportunities. I dont think I have ever even heard my kids bragging or teasing about something they got. I have never had to address that sort of behavior because I just dont see it at all here. I would absolutely stop that if I ever did see it though!

[Blackcat31]

I see your point of view and if I had a parent that felt that way, I wouldnt change anything, I would ask that they go find another daycare. No hard feelings with the parents, its just not how I do things. But I have been very fortunate, especially in the last two years, to work with parents that are respectful and accepting with how I run things. Its been a long time since I have heard any complaints about stuff like that. My kids will go out with their Dad to play and I dont shuttle them back in just because the daycare parents might see that my kids got sprinkler time while theirs were indoors coloring. My kids do have their own bikes and toys. Sometimes they will get to do little things that I dont allow with the daycare kids (like barefeet outside). If a daycare parent wants every child treated exactly the same at all times, this isnt the place for them. I have four of my own kids and its just not something I can promise. but I do try in general for everyone to have the same routine and opportunities. I dont think I have ever even heard my kids bragging or teasing about something they got. I have never had to address that sort of behavior because I just dont see it at all here. I would absolutely stop that if I ever did see it though!

LOL! See, you are giving your perspective as a provider.

That was my perspective as a parent.

Now, as a provider, I think I might have done the same thing and felt the same way BUT it was not something I had to see differently because of my specific situation (having a separate house for daycare) because when my kids were younger and weren't in school, they actually had to get up and leave their personal toys/belongings and come to "work" with me.

So I am not necessarily disagreeing, I am just thinking from a parent viewpoint but bottom line is this should all be discussed prior to enrollment and like you said, as ling as the parents are on the same page as you are about this, it's all good.

Different things work for different people.

[cheerfuldom]

I personally do not force my children to share their private and personal toys and the DC kids are not allowed into my kids private space (their rooms) unless specifically invited to do so.

That being said, one of the main focuses of my daycare is to teach the DCK's manners, respect, valuing their friendships, cooperation and sharing etc. The DC toys are MY TOYS and I SHARE them with my own kids and with my DCK's. If my own kids don't want to share their toys during DC hours I'm okay with that BUT then that means that their toys stay away from the DC space (in their rooms/garage etc.).

I personally wouldn't buy an item for my own child to be used during DC and then not allow the DCK's to use it. For me it would go against the grain of what I teach to the kids here. Although my children are my children and I love them very much I try as much as possible not to show favoritism and I treat them the same as I would my DCK's. They follow the same rules and receive the same guidance and discipline. I can just imagine this creating conflict and possibly resentment towards my own child so I wouldn't do it. I also imagine the possibility of my own child feeling empowerment over the other children from being treated special.

In any case, it's what YOU feel like you should do. Not what we feel. Everyone has their style and opinion and for a decision like this it really should be up to you, not us. If you feel like making that purchase for your son, then go for it! Only you know your child, your group of DCK's and your DCP's. If you don't think that it will cause a problem then it shouldn't be a big deal.

good post! What works for one group may not work for another. It also helps for my particular situation that all the toys in my home, both daycare and personal, are all group toys. I have four young kids so everything I purchase is always with a group mindset. I dont have things like one awesome Barbie jeep. I would just buy a half dozen scooters in stead for example. Of the things that I do spend money on, there is always plenty to share because my own kids have to share all the time anyway.