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I have the rule that the kids not bring toys from home. I have a dcb that is 3 yrs old and continuously brings toys from home. I always take it away and put it on the shelf. I always tell the parents that that is where it will go. Well, today he comes in with 2 rubber frogs. I said, what do you have? The mom says, well he brought 2 toys, but he HAD 5. Oh, so he was still breaking the rule, but it's not so bad because he was going to bring more and now it's only 2. UGH. Well, the part where I think I may not be very nice is when one little one took the frog and stretched it out and snapped off his leg. Well of course dcb had a complete meltdown. I explained to him that that is why he shouldn't bring things from home because they can get broken. Dad picked up and I told him what happened and i also told him that there is a reason I have certain rules and that it was a big problem that he brought it because he was very upset that it was broken. Dad doesn't let him do it, but mom drops off and mom can't say no. This family only has 3 more months with me thank God! So I was secretly not happy that he did it, but wasn't upset about it either. Thought maybe it will teach him and mom a lesson.
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Why is he getting in the door with it? Tell mom he must leave all toys in the car. Your putting them on the shelf is what is escalating the mom. She can't take a no and a yes at the same time. Do one or the other but not both. The mom is the one misbehaving not the kid. -
I would hand it back to mom and let her take it back to the car.Comment
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one of my dcks comes at 5:45 am and he's always still asleep so the parents send a diaper bag with clothes to change him into and i always find toys in the bag. i put them up until he goes home because it causes so many problems. I have a no outside toy policy in my handbook and i've talked to his mom and dad several times but it falls on deaf ears. So anytime they come in with something it always goes up immediately.Comment
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I tell the child to give the toy from home to their parents to take back to the car. I used to humor them and put it on a shelf but not anymore. Now the parents know if they let them bring it in they take it home again. I rarely even have to say anything to the child or parent anymore. They just hand the toy off. Actually, it's rare something comes in the door anymore. I have one little girl who brings a baby in sometimes to kiss her goodbye before giving her to Daddy. It's very cute.Comment
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That is very cute :
: for the OP, I have that rule as well and only had to enforce it with 1 DCF so far- but MAN I was not pleased when the grandma dropped off and left me with the tantrum to deal with (they walk over, so the toy was taken away on my porch!). Hopefully if you explain to parents that it's for the child's sake (they don't lose the toy/ doesn't get stolen or broken/ no fights over it) they will understand!
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Well he came today, but with no toy. I think having his toy broken might be a good deterrant for him. He did have gum though in his mouth which I promptly gave mom a kleenex to dispose of it. I mentioned this one before with the gum at 2 years old. They just can't say no to him. It was kinda funny. I saw that he didn't have a toy, which was good, but I saw that he was chomping away. So, without saying a word, I just handed her the tissue. Too funny!Comment
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I have a "Hotel California" rule about toys brought from home.
They can check in but they can never leave.
Yes, I've had both parents and kids not believe me.
Yes, I've had both parents and kids test this rule.
Yes, I've kept many toys. Permanently.
Fortunately not from the same families though....seems once I keep on toy, they "get it".
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Love it! So when they want their toy at the end of the day, what do you say and have you ever had a parent get mad about it?I have a "Hotel California" rule about toys brought from home.
They can check in but they can never leave.
Yes, I've had both parents and kids not believe me.
Yes, I've had both parents and kids test this rule.
Yes, I've kept many toys. Permanently.
Fortunately not from the same families though....seems once I keep on toy, they "get it".Comment
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Oh, they know this at the interview. If they are still brave enough to test it, then when they walk in the door with a toy I say "Oh look Johnny brought us a new toy!" (this is my "go ahead and take it back NOW mom/dad because I won't let you later)
Then either mom takes it and I say, "Please don't let it happen again mom/dad" or the parent says nothing and the child smiles like he/she is getting away with something.
I let them come in, immediately take the toy and put it out of sight.
The parent arrives for pick up at the end of the day and either the child or the parent asks for their toy back.
At that point I say "Mom/Dad, you were FULLY aware of my rule before enrollment. I gave you the opportunity to address and fix this issue this morning, which you did nothing so I am sorry but the toy now belongs to me. Next time Johnny doesn't want to donate his toys, he will need to make sure they don't come through my door."
I have never really had a parent get mad about it. I have had a few eye rolls and a few heavy sighs and even one mom who told her child I was being mean since I wasn't going to return the toy.
I immediately corrected her of course.
In all honesty, I really haven't had this issue for years. It used to be a problem now and then (and most parents jumped on the opportunity to take back the toy upon arrival when I gave them the chance) but I have had the same families for quite some time now so it isn't something I've even had to remind or chat with anyone about as of late.
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No you are not wrong, but I would not let it in the door. I had that problem before with a dcb and he kept trying to bring things in and the mom would sign him in and leave so quickly I didn't have the opportunity to hand it back to her. So it would cause a 5 minute issue trying to get him to put in his cubby. Then of course he was bent out of shape and was off for the rest of the morning ( this little boy was termed last week for many other issues). One day he told me that his mommy said on the days my dd is at her dads, he can bring any toys he wanted... um NO! I dont know why parents think they can change our rules. I would always tell him, if he brought something from homw he would have to be ok with every one sharing it, even if the babies wanted a turn to chew on it, and he would say "NO". Well A*** that's why you keep your toys home...
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I guess I'm the odd one out here. If they show up with a toy I tell mom and dad that there is a chance that it might get broken or parts might get lost and do they want to take it with them?
If they don't what usually happens is the child shows it to his friends, puts it down after a bit, and then I put it in their bag to go home with them. If there is any fight with it or the child won't let the others see or touch it then it goes right in the bag. If they cry and start getting nasty I do what I usually do when they do that for any other reason.
Not many children bring toys really and it hasn't been much of an issue. I always wondered that if I do tell the parents to take it home then it WILL cause a problem like a tantrum. The way I do it, it MAY cause one but usually doesn't. So I figure I get less tantrums rather than more. Plus sometimes they bring a really neat toy to share so it is something different in our day.
I especially like when I occasionally take a school age child that they bring things to do. Then I don't have to figure out what to do to entertain them.
Once one of them brought a gingerbread house (the prebaked kind) to put together and we had a wonderful time doing it. I don't feel obligated to do those types of things but if I feel like it we do it. Most of my parents over the years have been very considerate.
LaurelComment
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The only one I really have issues with this is the one I initially made this thread about and not only does he bring 1 toy it is always multiple. I just absolutely hate it at 5:00 when we're looking for toys that he wasn't supposed to bring anyway. I also hate the disrespect of the mom. She will even say, I know he's not supposed to bring this, BUT he insisted or he started crying etc. He does that because he knows it works. A couple of times of her saying no and him throwing a fit and having that NOT work and he will figure it out.Comment
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Sometimes NannyDe it is just not worth teaching a grown adult the rules over and over, and trying to do this while the kiddo is all over his home toy.
I have parents that do this too. :confused:They can't say no, they feel guilt for having to work and leave the child, and want the child happy when they leave. I have put it in all my books and my newsletter and verbal. Parents ignore-
It sets up the child's day and the group for a downhill start from the get go. I don't argue with the parents and the kid in the morning, I just take it when the parent leaves and put it in the cubbie. I then tell the child, NO TOYS From home at daycare!!! They can't play or have it until they go home. This works the best for me.
I find that the parents don't understand or care why I don't want outside toys brought from home. They do what they want to do. So do I. I have enough toys that I don't need anymore unless they are going to be part of the daycare forever.
I agree the Mom is misbehaving, but I don't want to watch the parents and the kids too. This is a battle I have come to terms with after much aggravation over it.
The child usually will fuss for a few seconds and then be over it. If they keep up with giving me a hard time I usually ask them if they want me to put it in the trash? Stops every time. I am not talking about a lovey or blanket, I am talking toys/junk from home.
Parents think it is great when the child brings in a couple of the same toy/junk for sharing. NO Wrong answer- It causes all kinds of issues and problems and tears- No Thanks. They are having tons of sharing opportunities all day long with their friends, with my toys, that I share with the kiddo's and because I share with them, they need to share or I put the toy away.
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