DCM Giving Me a Baby Shower

[Happy Hearts]

Only first borns get showers?!?!?! How sad. Doesn't make any sense to me. I had showers for all 4 of my children and I appreciated every single one of them.

I had no part in their planning and my friends/family went to great lengths and ingenuity to keep them secret from me. I still giggle at some of the great lies they told me to get me there.

One was at my own house... a friend asked me to come over to her house because her daughter was having a hard time with her French lesson and could I tutor for a few minutes. She lived 15 minutes away but I said yes. I thought 'aha, a baby shower for me!" But, nope, I tutored her and I went home. When I opened my front door, my house was full of friends and family, all decorated, tons of food and a cake. And, presents!!! I was shocked and so happy.

I think a baby shower is a great way to show you that you really care for them and their new baby. Who cares if its the first born or the tenth?

I don't think it was rude of you to ask your friend about the email.

[MarinaVanessa]

I think that you should have asked DCM first about whether it was okay to pass her info on to your friend. Other than that detail I don't see what the big deal is. Who knows, maybe DCM appreciates you so much she wanted to do something nice because she thought no one else would but she may feel grateful to have help or even to not have to handle it at all afterall if your friend steps in (being that she's busy). She asked, she offered, nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with your friend helping out either.

As far as a babyshower for only the first born goes ... I am clearly out of that loop. I've never heard of that. I'm on my third pregnancy (due August 3rd) and I had babyshowers for*both earlier pregnancies. I have one scheduled for this pregnancy too even though I've said that we don't need anything but my MIL and mom insist that we have one anyway. I think it would be nice to have everyone together. BTW we have babyshowers that are family friendly and co-ed. Men and kids are welcomed. We don't open the gifts at the shower etc. It's more like a BBQ.

[Cradle2crayons]

I think that you should have asked DCM first about whether it was okay to pass her info on to your friend. Other than that detail I don't see what the big deal is. Who knows, maybe DCM appreciates you so much she wanted to do something nice because she thought no one else would but she may feel grateful to have help or even to not have to handle it at all afterall if your friend steps in (being that she's busy). She asked, she offered, nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with your friend helping out either.

As far as a babyshower for only the first born goes ... I am clearly out of that loop. I've never heard of that. I'm on my third pregnancy (due August 3rd) and I had babyshowers for*both earlier pregnancies. I have one scheduled for this pregnancy too even though I've said that we don't need anything but my MIL and mom insist that we have one anyway. I think it would be nice to have everyone together. BTW we have babyshowers that are family friendly and co-ed. Men and kids are welcomed. We don't open the gifts at the shower etc. It's more like a BBQ.

Same here, baby showers aren't known here as an attempt to get out of providing for their baby, as apparently some areas believe?? Lol

To me, it didnt matter how much or how little I got, I just felt special that they thought of me yanno?? I didn't register, I figured with a first baby whatever they got would be appreciated either way and you can rarely have too much!!

At the hospital I work at, we had another nurse who was pregnant with her third girl, she had all the girl stuff, so we had her just a DIAPER SHOWER. We got her nothing but diapers. We organized it where we all got certain sizes.... A few got newborn, the rest got size ones and size twos.... She was so surprised and grateful!!

[Play Care]

I think that you should have asked DCM first about whether it was okay to pass her info on to your friend. Other than that detail I don't see what the big deal is. Who knows, maybe DCM appreciates you so much she wanted to do something nice because she thought no one else would but she may feel grateful to have help or even to not have to handle it at all afterall if your friend steps in (being that she's busy). She asked, she offered, nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with your friend helping out either.

As far as a babyshower for only the first born goes ... I am clearly out of that loop. I've never heard of that. I'm on my third pregnancy (due August 3rd) and I had babyshowers for*both earlier pregnancies. I have one scheduled for this pregnancy too even though I've said that we don't need anything but my MIL and mom insist that we have one anyway. I think it would be nice to have everyone together. BTW we have babyshowers that are family friendly and co-ed. Men and kids are welcomed. We don't open the gifts at the shower etc. It's more like a BBQ.

Yeah, that's not what happens here at all. Showers are women only, with "games" and gifts are opened at the event. I would much rather wait until after baby is born and go visit (briefly) with a gift than have to spend 3 hours of my weekend at a shower.

[Play Care]

Same here, baby showers aren't known here as an attempt to get out of providing for their baby, as apparently some areas believe?? Lol

To me, it didnt matter how much or how little I got, I just felt special that they thought of me yanno?? I didn't register, I figured with a first baby whatever they got would be appreciated either way and you can rarely have too much!!

At the hospital I work at, we had another nurse who was pregnant with her third girl, she had all the girl stuff, so we had her just a DIAPER SHOWER. We got her nothing but diapers. We organized it where we all got certain sizes.... A few got newborn, the rest got size ones and size twos.... She was so surprised and grateful!!

I just received an invitation for a baby shower. The registry information was included on the actual invite along with the registry cards. I looked up the registry and the couple has registered for a $400 crib, $200 changing table, $150 play gym, etc. etc. There was *nothing* on the registry under $50 and this is, unfortunately, common.

[Mom2Five+]

Where I'm from people give baby showers for every pregnancy no matter how many kid you have. I don't think its all about getting everything you need for the baby because that's one of the joys for me going baby shopping. I think its a way for Mom to be pampered and center of attention for one last time. I don't know about everyone else, but here once the baby is born of course its all about them. We have 3 adopted children and my family gave me showers for each one just to show that they were welcoming them into the family and their baby books will have the same pictures as my 2 bio children. We even adopted a little girl at 2 and they gave us a "toddler shower"

We don't see it as getting just gifts but another way for family and friends to come together and celebrate a joyous occasion

[MarinaVanessa]

I just received an invitation for a baby shower. The registry information was included on the actual invite along with the registry cards. I looked up the registry and the couple has registered for a $400 crib, $200 changing table, $150 play gym, etc. etc. There was *nothing* on the registry under $50 and this is, unfortunately, common.

Oh my. I'd NEVER do that. It's common here to receive the registry with the invite however I would never think about asking for anything that expensive . We purchased all of the furniture ourselves and just asked for items like baby care items (nail clipper, brush/comb, etc.), diapering supplies like ointment and wipes (no diapers, we use cloth), maybe a baby monitor etc. We asked for items under $20. Even then if I remember correctly our registry cards specifically said that the items on our registry were only gift suggestions and that a gift was not necessary, we only requested their presence. We included the men and the kids in family games, had a bounce house for the kids, kid friendly food and drinks etc. ... it was a day long event but like I said, it was more of a BBQ where we all got to mingle and see family that we hadn't seen in a while and we got to have our friends get together. It was more about the company than it was about anything else KWIM. Asking for pricey items seems a little rude to me. I registered at Target and Amazon and chose items that were a "good deal" . I even made it a point to avoid Babies R Us because they have the same items that Target had for much less money. Asking for items $50 and up seems pretentious to me.

[Sereetta]

Yes and No

I think you could haven given mom another week to initiate contact but honestly if I was mom I wouldn't have minded. Many people do baby showers in conjuction with family members or friends so its not a problem for your friend to introduce herself and offer assistance.

It is totally acceptable to have multipkle baby showers. I think many people forget the purpose of a baby shower is to celebrate the upcoming miracle of the birth of a child. Also giving unto others is always an awesome thing to do. If your sole purpose of having a baby shower is to only receive( which I don't think is your purpose) then consideration of others might need to be reveluated but if you want to have 5 baby showers for 5 kids awesome!!!!
In my culture we have a naming ceremony and baby blessing for every cghild. Gifts are given and good times are had! Baby showers are similar! :hug:

[Unregistered]

When I had a shower for my first I got flack for not putting anything above $30 on the registry. I had not expected my work or my husband's work to do collections and buy a group gift. I was told it would have been a whole lot easier for them to go get one large item then a cart full of small gifts. Sometimes familes go together on a larger gift as well. I still would not have been comfortable putting large ticket items on it though.

Here there is only a shower for the first. Many have multiple showers. Work. Mom's side. Dad's side. Friends. Gets a little crazy.

[Christina72684]

Wow it shocks me how some people on here feel about baby showers. So if you're against giving gifts at baby showers, are you against bridal showers, kids' birthday parties, and gifts at Christmas too?!

Maybe it's because I'm pregnant with my 2nd and it's a different gender than my first, but I was hoping to have a shower this pregnancy just because I don't have anything for a boy at all. It's not that I can't afford things, but any time a friend or family member is pregnant I always buy them a gift around $20-50 depending on close we are, whether they have a shower or not. I'd be fine if my friends who have boys and are done having kids gave me their hand-me-down clothes or toys or whatever they're done using. And when I registered I had items that cost any where from $2-$200 because I worked with people who wanted to go in on one larger gift instead of each buying something, and my grandparents wanted to buy something nice but didn't know what so I just put it on my registry.

I'm sorry so many people are being so mean/negative to you on this post. If someone cares enough about you to want to celebrate you and your child, let them!!! I don't have anyone close in my life anymore, so no one's offered. I think that's what saddens me more than not having one and getting free stuff. I thought I had family and friends that cared, but considering I have 11 weeks left and no one's offered I guess not. I even discussed wanting to have one with the only 2 friends I have, and neither offered which kind of hurt my feelings. I wish my DCMs cared enough about me to offer but I guess I'm just not that close to them.

[Hunni Bee]

There needs to be a PC book for baby showers. It seems like you're going to offend somebody either way you go. I'm probably going to offend people by not thinking its okay to throw my own...whatever

[Hunni Bee]

I'm sorry, but I didn't see anyone being mean or even negative. Just because you don't agree with something doesn't mean you're being mean or rude.

[Play Care]

Wow it shocks me how some people on here feel about baby showers. So if you're against giving gifts at baby showers, are you against bridal showers, kids' birthday parties, and gifts at Christmas too?!

Maybe it's because I'm pregnant with my 2nd and it's a different gender than my first, but I was hoping to have a shower this pregnancy just because I don't have anything for a boy at all. It's not that I can't afford things, but any time a friend or family member is pregnant I always buy them a gift around $20-50 depending on close we are, whether they have a shower or not. I'd be fine if my friends who have boys and are done having kids gave me their hand-me-down clothes or toys or whatever they're done using. And when I registered I had items that cost any where from $2-$200 because I worked with people who wanted to go in on one larger gift instead of each buying something, and my grandparents wanted to buy something nice but didn't know what so I just put it on my registry.

I'm sorry so many people are being so mean/negative to you on this post. If someone cares enough about you to want to celebrate you and your child, let them!!! I don't have anyone close in my life anymore, so no one's offered. I think that's what saddens me more than not having one and getting free stuff. I thought I had family and friends that cared, but considering I have 11 weeks left and no one's offered I guess not. I even discussed wanting to have one with the only 2 friends I have, and neither offered which kind of hurt my feelings. I wish my DCMs cared enough about me to offer but I guess I'm just not that close to them.

I guess I just don't understand the underlined - because no one has mentioned throwing you a shower, that must mean they don't care about you?:confused:
Usually after the second baby is born people will stop by (usually bearing gifts) but most assume you have what you need for baby.

I DESPISE wedding showers. DESPISE. They made sense when couple married right out of their parents house - it was a nice way to help them get started. Now, young professionals who are probably already living together/purchased their own home are getting engagement parties, bridal showers and then the actual wedding. And there's a registry for each event! The last bridal shower I was invited to the couple were registered for an X-Box...cause yeah, you NEED one of those I was asked to be a bridesmaid recently and politely declined - mostly because the thought of having to plan/host/pay for a shower in addition to all the other expenses involved.

Birthday parties, to me anyway, are a different beast then showers. No one registers for gifts, or expects large ticket items.

[Greenplasticwateringcans]

My sister (and others I know) put a lot of high end items on her list because after baby was born she received what wasn't bought at 25% off! Pretty good deal if you ask me. Registries are a suggestion not a demand. Gender and season specific sleepers are cheap....a card and a book are also a cheap thoughtful idea to say "CONGRATULATIONS".

Also, I've never been to a shower, sprinkle, or welcome baby celebration where I thought the mother/family was expecting others to buy everything for their 1st or 7th baby. Silly.

This must be a regional thing.

[Play Care]

My sister (and others I know) put a lot of high end items on her list because after baby was born she received what wasn't bought at 25% off! Pretty good deal if you ask me. Registries are a suggestion not a demand. Gender and season specific sleepers are cheap....a card and a book are also a cheap thoughtful idea to say "CONGRATULATIONS".

Also, I've never been to a shower, sprinkle, or welcome baby celebration where I thought the mother/family was expecting others to buy everything for their 1st or 7th baby. Silly.

This must be a regional thing.

And that's fine, provided there are other, more reasonably priced items on there AND/OR the person being showered isn't throwing a fit over not getting certain items (yep, seen it happen )