I Don't Think I Can Take...

[melilley]

It sounds like they are in denial.

I had an infant who's parents said he did NOT cry all the time. But, here, he cried NONSTOP. It wasn't the kind of cry you could handle either.

They continued to deny he cried at home. But, the older brother would say things that you could tell was something they said all the time. Like "Oh, Bobby, crying again?"

My final straw was when they whole family...cousins, kids other babies, everybody went to Florida for 14 days, and they left him with friends. Obviously, he was bad enough that they didn't want to include him on a huge family reunion get together in Florida, and they were willing to leave their infant son with someone else. Of course, he was here at my house both weeks, and the lady who was watching him looked like she wanted to punch herself in the head for agreeing to it.

(they are no longer friends)

So, shortly after that, I dropped the family, because I just wasn't getting any help from the parents. Even a simple "Oh, he's killing us at home too" would have made me feel better.

He went to grandma for a short time, then SHE called me and begged me to take them back, and she told me he was the hardest child she's ever met. That helped a little, but I "was full".

I did eventually take him back. He's much better now. But, waiting for him to outgrow that was a living nightmare. I'm honestly still traumatized over it.

That happened with this child too! His brother got his tonsils out so the parents had this baby stay overnight at a friends house so that they could stay with the bro after surgery. Well the next day they dropped them off and you could tell the lady was worn out. She told me that L hadn't slept all night, that he wanted to sleep with her and her husband, but they wouldn't let him so he was up most of the night. I told mom this when she picked up and she was like-he's up all the time at night!
I can't believe that family left him at home for that reunion! Part of me thinks that this mother is being a nanny for her friend to get away from the crying. I too was waiting to see if he would outgrow it, but I don't think I can!

[melilley]

Mom must be at the end of her rope to actually suggest putting him in a dark room alone. He is crying because he NEEDS something. My guess would be that he is uncomfortable or in pain. He needs to see a doctor. Could be an allergy, could be anything. A child should not have to cry all day-Mom needs to step up and get to the bottom of it. I'd insist on a doctor's visit (and a note from doctor for you telling you how to deal with whatever the issue is) or term.

I should tell her I need a note, but I feel stuck now because I have been downplaying his crying because I thought it was just normal for him and I thought that I could handle it. And she gave me that lame tip "from the doctor" on how to see if he is under or too stimulated so I figured the doctor already knew how he was, but at the same time, her friend is a doctor so maybe it came from her.

[melilley]

I feel for you!!:hug:
I had a baby 3-6 months that cried non stop!! He wouldn't even sleep! I did it for three months- I only had him part time and he had no schedule at home! He was held all the time, laid down on his tummy for sleep- on the couch! it was a wreck!
After I termed (well officially she did because I kept having her pick him up) I wondered why I waited so long! The money wasn't worth it and I did the best I could to work through it...
You told her you could do it not knowing fully what "it" was! Be fair to yourself and the other kiddos and term. Plus sounds like she is a pita mom anyway.
Good luck !!

Thanks! and so true, I don't think the money is worth it anymore!

[MyAngels]

I would term. This is not your problem to fix. I think its pretty telling that the mom is going to be working taking care of other kids while sending her own to daycare. Doesnt sound like this kid is a good fit for a daycare.

His parents should be dealing with and correcting this problem, not you.

[mrsnj]

As you read in my thread I have a screamer too. Mine screams all the time. When you feed her. When you change her. Only time she is quiet is when a bottle is in her mouth and sometimes even then. She does nap though. But she uses a paci and cannot self sooth or play alone. Mom now has resorted to a sling which I am sure is soooooo helping matters. And the baby is huge so fussing mom uses that bottle as a paci too. It is rough no answers. Crying does t bother me though. She is in a carrier all the time and cannot sit or roll or hold her head up long. She screams at me cause I make her do things like play on the floor and in the bouncer. I think some of the issues is mom. But the child is high maintenance and has some sensory issues. I think in my case she is used to demanding and receiving and be be because I don't do that I know that doesn't help.

What to do? Not even sure what to tell you. If you have tried it all there isn't much left as options. You ned to decide if its worth it or if you can keep it up. ESP if its effecting the other kids

And yes I have said I can do things when I cannot. We aren't supper provider. Sometimes we have to admit defeat.

[melilley]

As you read in my thread I have a screamer too. Mine screams all the time. When you feed her. When you change her. Only time she is quiet is when a bottle is in her mouth and sometimes even then. She does nap though. But she uses a paci and cannot self sooth or play alone. Mom now has resorted to a sling which I am sure is soooooo helping matters. And the baby is huge so fussing mom uses that bottle as a paci too. It is rough no answers. Crying does t bother me though. She is in a carrier all the time and cannot sit or roll or hold her head up long. She screams at me cause I make her do things like play on the floor and in the bouncer. I think some of the issues is mom. But the child is high maintenance and has some sensory issues. I think in my case she is used to demanding and receiving and be be because I don't do that I know that doesn't help.

What to do? Not even sure what to tell you. If you have tried it all there isn't much left as options. You ned to decide if its worth it or if you can keep it up. ESP if its effecting the other kids

And yes I have said I can do things when I cannot. We aren't supper provider. Sometimes we have to admit defeat.

So true, but it's really hard to admit defeat for me sometimes! I keep thinking that I can do this, but today I think I have made up my mind! He won't stop scream crying unless I hold him and sometimes then it doesn't work! Basically unless he's sleeping he's crying. He does play sometimes, but it doesn't last long. Crying has never bothered me before, but for some reason this time it is. I think I know what I need to do!
Thanks

[Blackcat31]

So true, but it's really hard to admit defeat for me sometimes! I keep thinking that I can do this, but today I think I have made up my mind! He won't stop scream crying unless I hold him and sometimes then it doesn't work! Basically unless he's sleeping he's crying. He does play sometimes, but it doesn't last long. Crying has never bothered me before, but for some reason this time it is. I think I know what I need to do!
Thanks

Dear DCP

Please accept this letter as written notice of my intent to discontinue our agreement for child care services.

The last day I will be able to provide services is xxxday, May xx, 2013.

I feel at this time that I am simply not able to fully meet Bobby's needs and do not think my program is a good fit for him.

I am including the number to the local child care resource and referral to aid you in your search for new care.

Please understand that this is in no way a negative outlook on Bobby's behavior. It is just more than I am able to provide at this time.

Thank you for your consideration in this matter.

Sincerely

Tried EVERYTHING provider

[melilley]

Dear DCP

Please accept this letter as written notice of my intent to discontinue our agreement for child care services.

The last day I will be able to provide services is xxxday, May xx, 2013.

I feel at this time that I am simply not able to fully meet Bobby's needs and do not think my program is a good fit for him.

I am including the number to the local child care resource and referral to aid you in your search for new care.

Please understand that this is in no way a negative outlook on Bobby's behavior. It is just more than I am able to provide at this time.

Thank you for your consideration in this matter.

Sincerely

Tried EVERYTHING provider

Oh my word, you read my mind! I was going to ask for help in writing a termination letter, I've never had to write one before! Now, I just have to get up the nerve to do it! Thank You!

[Unregistered]

I had a crier that sounded like satan himself was coming to our door. It was a scream with a horrible growling noise. She would not stop crying and cried when held, fed, put down, etc. She'd cry to sleep, she'd just cry. No real reason. She was 10 months old at the time she started getting even WORSE. I finally let her go because I was going crazy. The mom was PISSED at me, I mean really mad, and now I see her at school functions for my kids....The baby is now 3 years old I believe? She is a brat, too and I observe a lot. Mom does NOTHING to let her know that a certain behavior is not ok. NO WONDER!

She was one of two babies that did nothing but cry. The first one at least was 3 months old and had colic, so it was more tolerable. This one just didn't like ANYTHING.

When I termed, I realized I didn't have to deal with this nonsense. I just didn't want to and could not put up with it any longer.