DCM's Lawyer Called Me

[LaLa1923]

I agree with this.

Yes, this board can be supportive but that isn't the sole purpose.

Sometimes posters come here asking for advice and when they don't hear what they want, they get upset or mad about it and start saying people are criticizing or being unsupportive when in fact each and everyone of us here has a different perspective and a different opinion about things.

I think support is just a perk of this forum but it isn't the purposeful intention.

Just because Crystal doesn't agree or see things in the same way as the 20 posters who posted before her, doesn't mean she is a bully or rude. :confused:

The OP asked for advice on a public forum. She got an array of responses about what "might" or "could" happen. The only one that really matters though is hers. (the OP).

Depending on the circumstances, she may or may not win in court.

This forum is not judge and jury. We are a group of providers that do things in a million different ways and have a million different outlooks and opinions on things.

I have great respect for you in this forum but I am completely appalled that you would support her. She has obviously been a bully by the harsh incorrect assumptions she has made. She does not have to support me but she could've been more of an adult and not ignorant.

It's all on how you say it, if anyone has been unprofessional it's her.

[Blackcat31]

You've repeatedly called me unprofessional and you are incorrect.

You may wish to be owned and be a slave to your parents but I do not.

I will not wait around for my parents if they cannot respect my time. !

I don't think Crystal called you unprofessional because you aren't a slave to your parents, I think she called you unprofessional because you KNEW this mom would be upset when she came late (as she frequently did) so instead of being professional and giving her a head's up about you having to leave, you left knowing FULL WELL that it would cause a lot of drama...which it did.

I understand why you left without talking to the DCM. She was repeatedly rude by not calling or showing up as scheduled but two wrongs don't make a right and you could simply have been the bigger person and texted her or called her and just said "Hey, I know you are always late so I thought I would call and let you know I have to leave."
I think you did what you did because you WERE upset about her habitual lateness.

A better way to have handled the lateness would have been to address it face to face and put a stop to it.

That is MY personal interpretation of where Crystal is coming from.

[Blackcat31]

I have great respect for you in this forum but I am completely appalled that you would support her. She has obviously been a bully by the harsh incorrect assumptions she has made. She does not have to support me but she could've been more of an adult and not ignorant.

It's all on how you say it, if anyone has been unprofessional it's her.

See? That's where you are wrong. I never said I was supporting anyone.

I was merely trying to help you understand where she was coming from and what her perspective is in this.

I respect Crystal and think she is a very professional provider who is really good at what she does. That doesn't mean I blindly follow and agree with her. We have had our differences to but we handle them without being personal about it.

I don't think she shoud be called a bully just because she is straight forward and blunt when sharing her opinion.

Most posters here are looking for opinions and perspectives (both positive and negative) not just happy faces and hugs all the time...kwim?

[Crystal]

She was supposed to contact me, not the other way around. She always contacted me if she was running late.

This is my business and I will not be walked on.

hmmmm....I thought she frequently ran late and did NOT call you to let you know.

I would never suggest being walked on by parents.

[Treefrogtiff]

It's sad that there are people out there who give so little regard to the person who has cared for there child. I have experienced this myself. What I started doing was collecting 2weeks in advance plus the week they start. This is a lot of money but good appreciative parents are willing to do. I also changed my notice policy to 2 weeks notice. I would cut my losses. This woman will get paybacks in other ways. She obviously has bigger issues.

[Crystal]

You've repeatedly called me unprofessional and you are incorrect.

You may wish to be owned and be a slave to your parents but I do not.

I will not wait around for my parents if they cannot respect my time. !

I have not repeatedly called you unprofessional. I have stated that I feel that it is unprofessional to not contact a parent to let them know you are temporarily unavailable for care. Sure, it is in reference to YOUR post, but I would say it to anyone, so please stop taking it so personally.

And your implying that I wish to be "owned and a slave to my parents" LOL, that couldn't be any further from the truth. I have fabulous relationships with my families who stay with me VERY long term and we work TOGETHER with MUTUAL respect for each other. I do not have late parents-at drop off or pick up/late payments/disrespect EVER. I attribute that partially to the fact that I am flexible and considerate of them, just as I expect them to be of me.

[LaLa1923]

hmmmm....I thought she frequently ran late and did NOT call you to let you know.

I would never suggest being walked on by parents.

Nope, she wouldn't contact me if they weren't coming. Thus, I assumed they were not coming.

[Crystal]

See? That's where you are wrong. I never said I was supporting anyone.

I was merely trying to help you understand where she was coming from and what her perspective is in this.

I respect Crystal and think she is a very professional provider who is really good at what she does. That doesn't mean I blindly follow and agree with her. We have had our differences to but we handle them without being personal about it.

I don't think she shoud be called a bully just because she is straight forward and blunt when sharing her opinion.

Most posters here are looking for opinions and perspectives (both positive and negative) not just happy faces and hugs all the time...kwim?

Thanks for attempting to clarify for me, I appreciate it.

[LaLa1923]

I have not repeatedly called you unprofessional. I have stated that I feel that it is unprofessional to not contact a parent to let them know you are temporarily unavailable for care. Sure, it is in reference to YOUR post, but I would say it to anyone, so please stop taking it so personally.

And your implying that I wish to be "owned and a slave to my parents" LOL, that couldn't be any further from the truth. I have fabulous relationships with my families who stay with me VERY long term and we work TOGETHER with MUTUAL respect for each other. I do not have late parents-at drop off or pick up/late payments/disrespect EVER. I attribute that partially to the fact that I am flexible and considerate of them, just as I expect them to be of me.

She was the only problem parent I had. The rest of my families are great!

[Crystal]

One last thing and then I will rest.....

If you do not want everyone's thoughts/feedback/opinions, then DON'T ASK for them.

And, if you don't like mine thoughts/feedback/opinions specifically, you can go to your user control panel and put me on "ignore" then you will not have to see/read my thoughts/feedback/opinions.

[countrymom]

since when has it become my job to start looking after the parent. do you think their employees or bosses do, nope. I'm sorry, but this mother is a grown women, she needs to put her big girl panties on and act like an adult. She contracted a time, she didn't show up and the provider went about her business.

it boils down to responsibility, and a judge is going to ask the mom why she didn't call if she knew she was going to be late.

also, in a previous thread many said that providers should go about their business if a parent doesn't come, well this provider did and now she is getting flak for it, gee some of you need to make up your minds, its confusing. It was another thread about provider leaving after the parent didn't show up.

and before I did contract hours I use to run "come whenever you want because I'm open" mantality. Well after a while and lots of missed library time, walks around the block and school activities, you learn to give a damn about your business and not let parents dictate to you what they want or come whenver they want. Its seems like its becoming a trend with parents coming and going as they please, its so disrespectful I just don't even know what else to call it.

dcm got busted and now crying like a 2 yr old because she didn't get her way. Well boo hoo to her, who knows how many other people she has done this too. the only difference is that someone is willing to do something about it.

[sharlan]

All the drama would have been avoided with a 15 sec text. Honest communication prevents a lot of problems. Passive/Agressive situations always cause trouble.

It doesn't matter who was right, who was wrong. As my mom always says, two wrongs don't make a right.

[Unregistered]

Maybe I'm wrong, but I thought in the original post DaycareMom had to drop off before 9am or go without care for the day. Then she arrived shortly before 9am to find you were not there. In that case, if I was leaving the house before the cut off time, I would have made a call out to the parent for sure. Especially with a history of lack of communication.

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

since when has it become my job to start looking after the parent. do you think their employees or bosses do, nope. I'm sorry, but this mother is a grown women, she needs to put her big girl panties on and act like an adult. She contracted a time, she didn't show up and the provider went about her business.

it boils down to responsibility, and a judge is going to ask the mom why she didn't call if she knew she was going to be late.

also, in a previous thread many said that providers should go about their business if a parent doesn't come, well this provider did and now she is getting flak for it, gee some of you need to make up your minds, its confusing. It was another thread about provider leaving after the parent didn't show up.

and before I did contract hours I use to run "come whenever you want because I'm open" mantality. Well after a while and lots of missed library time, walks around the block and school activities, you learn to give a damn about your business and not let parents dictate to you what they want or come whenver they want. Its seems like its becoming a trend with parents coming and going as they please, its so disrespectful I just don't even know what else to call it.

dcm got busted and now crying like a 2 yr old because she didn't get her way. Well boo hoo to her, who knows how many other people she has done this too. the only difference is that someone is willing to do something about it.

Exactly.

[lolaland]

hmmmm....I thought she frequently ran late and did NOT call you to let you know.

I would never suggest being walked on by parents.

Sorry if I sound unfair...:

We all know this job keeps everyone very busy, it can also be emotional sometimes... so of course, if someone comes here and posts a problem, they can not give a very detailed explanation of what's going on in their first post of the thread!

We all in this forum already realized that only after many back and forward posts of questions posted and answers given we start then to get a clearer idea of how things developed to the point of the conflict explained on the OP initial post. Therefor, for those that have a blunt not so positive comment to make, it would be more appropriate to ask some questions first and than give your not supportive opinion only when all your questions were answered.

I've notice that some members tend to jump immediately to the provider's defence... and a few tend to jump to the parent's defence with “no questions asked”...

But there is always 3 sides to every story: The provider's... the parent... and the truth. Therefor I think there should be some moderation when providing a blunt negative feedback.