Would Your Husband Go For It?

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  • canadiancare
    Daycare Member
    • Nov 2009
    • 552

    #16
    Originally posted by Blackcat31
    I'm confused by your question....

    If I have children and don't work outside the home, I would be a stay at home mom.

    I guess I am not understanding very clearly....

    Sorry.....I am sure it is pretty simple but those kinds of questions are the ones that throw me
    I think the question is do you consider non-working mothers who put their child in daycare full-time stay at home mothers?

    Comment

    • Blackcat31
      • Oct 2010
      • 36124

      #17
      Originally posted by canadiancare
      I think the question is do you consider non-working mothers who put their child in daycare full-time stay at home mothers?
      :: Just checkin'

      Yes. I would still consider them SAHM's.

      Comment

      • RosieMommy
        Daycare.com Member
        • Apr 2013
        • 86

        #18
        Originally posted by canadiancare
        I think the question is do you consider non-working mothers who put their child in daycare full-time stay at home mothers?
        Thank you! That's what I was asking

        Comment

        • EntropyControlSpecialist
          Embracing the chaos.
          • Mar 2012
          • 7466

          #19
          Originally posted by canadiancare
          I think the question is do you consider non-working mothers who put their child in daycare full-time stay at home mothers?
          I don't.
          I actually had this discussion last night with someone. I have 6 children here that have moms who stay home and don't go to work.

          Three of the children are here 45 hours per week while their Moms take care of their other sibling(s) at home. I'd consider them stay-at-home-moms, although odd ones.

          I would, personally, feel WEIRD to be a "stay-at-home-mom" who doesn't stay at home to be a Mom. That's just me, though. I think I'd call that more of a housewife than a SAHM.

          Comment

          • RosieMommy
            Daycare.com Member
            • Apr 2013
            • 86

            #20
            Originally posted by canadiancare
            I think the question is do you consider non-working mothers who put their child in daycare full-time stay at home mothers?

            Wait. That was very close to what I was asking. I think what I'm asking more generally is what makes a mother a stay at home mom? I'm not even going as far as stay at home moms who use daycare fulltime or use daycare at all. Is it merely the fact that she doesn't work outside of the home?

            I'm just wondering if women have any other alternatives besides working outside of the home mom and stay at home mom because I'm not sure all non-working moms are necessarily stay at home moms. I guess I tend to think stay at home mom is more specific than just a mother who doesn't work.

            Sidenote: When I say mother who doesn't work, I mean outside of the home.

            Comment

            • RosieMommy
              Daycare.com Member
              • Apr 2013
              • 86

              #21
              Originally posted by EntropyControlSpecialist
              I don't.
              I actually had this discussion last night with someone. I have 6 children here that have moms who stay home and don't go to work.

              Three of the children are here 45 hours per week while their Moms take care of their other sibling(s) at home. I'd consider them stay-at-home-moms, although odd ones.

              I would, personally, feel WEIRD to be a "stay-at-home-mom" who doesn't stay at home to be a Mom. That's just me, though. I think I'd call that more of a housewife than a SAHM.
              Me too. I'd feel strange calling myself a stay at home mom if I'm not staying at home to be with my kids as opposed to staying home or rather not working to do other things. I'm not making any value judgements on the latter option at this point but it would be odd for me.

              Comment

              • RosieMommy
                Daycare.com Member
                • Apr 2013
                • 86

                #22
                I asked the question about non working mothers who might or might be stay at home moms because I wonder, if my reason for staying at home wasn't to be with the kids, if my husband would be more open to me training or writing full time (as in my case) if it were an option financially since a lot of us said hubbys wouldn't be cool with the question of the original thread.

                Comment

                • DaisyMamma
                  Advanced Daycare.com Member
                  • May 2011
                  • 2241

                  #23
                  Originally posted by Blackcat31
                  :: Just checkin'

                  Yes. I would still consider them SAHM's.
                  No way, that's just a housewife.

                  Originally posted by RosieMommy
                  Sidenote: When I say mother who doesn't work, I mean outside of the home.
                  I work inside the home by taking care of all these daycare children. My children are here with me and I do not consider myself a SAHM by any means, in fact, I consider my children to be in daycare.

                  Originally posted by EntropyControlSpecialist
                  I don't.
                  I actually had this discussion last night with someone. I have 6 children here that have moms who stay home and don't go to work.

                  Three of the children are here 45 hours per week while their Moms take care of their other sibling(s) at home. I'd consider them stay-at-home-moms, although odd ones.

                  I would, personally, feel WEIRD to be a "stay-at-home-mom" who doesn't stay at home to be a Mom. That's just me, though. I think I'd call that more of a housewife than a SAHM.
                  Why do they drop off some of the kids and not the others?? That is odd.

                  Comment

                  • canadiancare
                    Daycare Member
                    • Nov 2009
                    • 552

                    #24
                    I have had mums continue to send one child to me full-time while home on mat leave with an infant in an effort to give that baby special attention the way the first child had be given it while also giving the preschooler a more enriching experience of being in daycare rather than having them need to keep quiet while the baby naps, be still while the baggy nurses etc.

                    Comment

                    • Blackcat31
                      • Oct 2010
                      • 36124

                      #25
                      Originally posted by EntropyControlSpecialist

                      I would, personally, feel WEIRD to be a "stay-at-home-mom" who doesn't stay at home to be a Mom. That's just me, though. I think I'd call that more of a housewife than a SAHM.
                      Originally posted by DaisyMamma
                      No way, that's just a housewife.
                      See the terminology is confusing because I am offended that you guys (ladies) feel that just because they don't actually have their children home with them, they should be called housewives and not mom's.

                      My children don't live with me anymore but I still a mom.

                      Comment

                      • littlemissmuffet
                        Advanced Daycare.com Member
                        • Jan 2011
                        • 2194

                        #26
                        On one hand, I want to say that my husband would (and does) allow whatever makes me happy... happy wife, happy life, right?

                        But on the other hand, we are EXTREMELY family oriented. The whole reason I started daycare was that so one day when we did decide to have a child, I would already have an established home-business to contribute financially while still being our child's primary caregiver.

                        Once we actually got pregnant, years later, we decided dad would stay home her first year of life and we would share the responsibilities of the daycare and our daughter.

                        To us, it is important that we are the primary influences and caregivers that raise her into a productive member of society...
                        so with that said, I would NEVER give up the oppurtunity to be a SAHM (or WAHM as it were) and therefor the situation would never come up for my hubby to go for it or not.



                        As for "stay at home moms" who don't actually keep their children home (ie put them in DC full-time) - are NOT SAHMs in my book. They are stay at home women.

                        Comment

                        • NeedaVaca
                          Daycare.com Member
                          • Mar 2012
                          • 2276

                          #27
                          The phrase A Happy Wife is a Happy Life comes to mind

                          That being said, it wouldn't be something I would choose to do. My kids are growing up sooooo fast, it amazes me sometimes and I don't want to miss it. I do little things for myself to keep me sane and when they get older I will have more time to do other things but for now there is no way I would want them in daycare for 50 hours per week unless it was completely necessary.

                          Comment

                          • LaLa1923
                            mommyof5-and going crazy
                            • Oct 2012
                            • 1103

                            #28
                            My DH would go for it if I was paid well for it. I would personally not do it if it were 40-50 hrs a week if I was a SAHM. That would defeate the purpose.

                            My DH is already saying I need to find something to do outside of the house....::


                            I wonder where I'd find the time for that??!!

                            Comment

                            • EntropyControlSpecialist
                              Embracing the chaos.
                              • Mar 2012
                              • 7466

                              #29
                              Originally posted by Blackcat31
                              See the terminology is confusing because I am offended that you guys (ladies) feel that just because they don't actually have their children home with them, they should be called housewives and not mom's.

                              My children don't live with me anymore but I still a mom.
                              They're still Moms just not stay-at-home-Moms. I wouldn't consider you a SAHM either.

                              I don't consider myself to be a SAHM even though I work from home. But, even if I didn't work outside/inside of the home I still wouldn't consider myself to be a SAHM. My son goes to school outside of my home. TECHNICALLY, I do stay at home and in the summer my son is here all of the time so I suppose I COULD be considered a stay-at-home-mom??? Or TECHNICALLY, I do stay at home and will have my youngest child with me from birth-college (homeschooling) so I suppose that COULD be considered a stay-at-home-mom?? But, I still don't consider myself to be a SAHM. I consider myself to be a work-at-home-mom. :: Crystal clear...!

                              Comment

                              • LaLa1923
                                mommyof5-and going crazy
                                • Oct 2012
                                • 1103

                                #30
                                Originally posted by Blackcat31
                                See the terminology is confusing because I am offended that you guys (ladies) feel that just because they don't actually have their children home with them, they should be called housewives and not mom's.

                                My children don't live with me anymore but I still a mom.

                                I think this thread is geared toward moms who still have small kids at home. Don't feel offended. :hug::hug:

                                Comment

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