Parent Not At Work..

[bunnyslippers]

I have an issue with it. I know that it is really up to the parents to decide how to parent their children, and that they are paying me for a service. I understand everyone needs some time to themselves every once in a while, and completely support that.

When parents take time off frequently and leave their children here with me for the entire contracted day, I get angry. I have lost a great deal of respect for some of my dcfs for this reason. Right now, for example, I can see my neighbor's outside working in the yard, without their daughter. She has been sent off with her grandparents for the day. This is the same family that the father dropped her off last week and proceeded to work in the yard all day, while she cried in the backyard b/c he wouldn't look over at her.

For me, it is just a lousy way to parent, and I find it offensive. If I were staying open next year, I would absolutely add a clause to my contract that states I only care for children when the parents are WORKING. It bothers me THAT much.

[youretooloud]

Wow... 114 huh. That's about 40 degrees warmer than I personally prefer to have to deal with. Granted I don't always get my wish, but 65 and partly cloudy is just fine with me. Far be it for me to be new on this site and be giving advice, but I'd have closed for a day or two anyways to at least fix the air conditioning..

At that time, if I closed, I didn't get paid. But, if I stayed open, and the parents didn't bring them, I DID get paid. So, I stayed open.

Also, I had no phones to call anybody to tell them I had no electricity and phones.

So, you'd think the parents would come in, see that I had no electricity for several days, and keep the kids at home. But, nope.

[Mom&Provider]

Some providers care and others don't, I'm one that cares.

I don't mind a day here or there, but the parents that drop off at open and don't pick-up till close often enough and without good reason, that's when I care. I totally get that sometimes parents don't feel well or need to go to the Dr's themselves, but what I don't get is why parents can't spend a sunny day off outdoors or playing with their own child who is here at least 8 hours per day M-F when they simply took a day off to clean the house or get nails done!? :confused: When you think about when YOU have time to do this, it becomes even further upsetting.

You'll come to realize that some parents often take advantage of the fact that you are there and when they come in picking up right at close announcing what an amazing day at the spa and lunch with a friend was you might be fine with it UNTIL you become ill or need a day off to do something with your own child or for yourself and they pull a fit...then you'll know why some of us care. Not all parents are like this, but some are and it is very wearing when it becomes a regular thing. I also have parents (same ones who take the days off), who finish work early enough to pick-up around 4 pm, but go home, take a nap or start dinner and then come here. This is especially bothersome when their child isn't feeling the best because of a cold or I could have used the extra time to prepare our own dinner etc.

As a mother who also had her own child in a home daycare before starting one myself, I can certainly say that when I got off work early, I picked up early, when I took a day off, my child was with me (unless I had an appointment which he could not attend), when my company closed down for certain days off, my child was with me! I became a mother for a reason, I didn't have kids to let someone else raise them M-F even when I was available to do it myself!!

ETA: Since you're just starting out, think about some days (or 1/2 days) that you might want to have for yourself/family (Christmas Eve is a good one!) and put them into your contract in advance. This way, you get the time you need/want and no one can argue with you since it's already in writing - less stress to you! I didn't do this and found I became very upset at specific families who took these days to do things and I couldn't get my own things done...like on Christmas Eve which is why I used that as an example!

[Cradle2crayons]

The mom of my sibling group does this often. I don't think the kids know one way or the other. Sometimes I know, other times I've heard, and still more times she admits it to me. Honestly though it doesn't bother me. I do an over it every other week just for the parents to have date night and have a beer. They won't drink or allow alcohol in their home or around their daughter. They schedule ahead of time and pay me as a drop in overnight. Doesn't bother me at all. She fits in well who my family despite her age and it changes bath time from 3 to 4 and that's fine too.

I don't really think its my business whether they are at work or at the casino. I'm contracted for x time regardless. I'm not saying I agree with those parenting practices but still I keep it business not personal related to that. I don't do things differently whether they are at work or at the salon.

That's just me though. My policies give me lots of family holidays as well as vacation and I'm paid for those even though they aren't here.

[LaLa1923]

I am still in the process of becoming registered as a day care provider and have been reading posts on this site for weeks now. I noticed a few different providers venting that the parents are either not at work, or left early and didn't pick up their kid right away. I'm sorry... maybe its because I'm new to this, but so what? My contract is going to list my hours of operation. If a parent drops off in the morning and picks up by closing time, how is it any of my business if they went to work, home to nap, the store, a casino, etc.. I'm being paid to watch the kid for up to 11 hours per day. As long as the parents pick up and drop off within this time frame, and the check doesn't bounce.. I'm good.

11 hours a day??!! You might want to rethink that and go for contracted hours instead.


It's just sad when parents don't spend time with their kids. Some people would rather send their kids to daycare than care for them themselves.... good luck!!!happyface

[bunnyslippers]

I think Mom & Providers point hits it right on the head. I used to be ok with it...then, my baby was in the hospital due to a stomach virus that was horrible. My neighbors, who know my family on a personal level, sent their child here the whole time we were in the hospital (5 days). The 6th day...when I returned home...they sent their child here, and both of them stayed home because they "needed a day off." I had not slept in 5 days, and they knew it. It was so insensitive. Since that day, I have had very little patience with parents who don't work and stay home without their children.

I also had a very scary medical situation last year that almost caused me to lose my vision. During that time, I couldn't get enough time with my two boys. I cherish every last moment with my babies, and I don't have respect for other parents who don't. Please don't trash me for that...I understand the other viewpoint. I just know from personal experience that every moment is a gift.

[Cradle2crayons]

I think Mom & Providers point hits it right on the head. I used to be ok with it...then, my baby was in the hospital due to a stomach virus that was horrible. My neighbors, who know my family on a personal level, sent their child here the whole time we were in the hospital (5 days). The 6th day...when I returned home...they sent their child here, and both of them stayed home because they "needed a day off." I had not slept in 5 days, and they knew it. It was so insensitive. Since that day, I have had very little patience with parents who don't work and stay home without their children.

I also had a very scary medical situation last year that almost caused me to lose my vision. During that time, I couldn't get enough time with my two boys. I cherish every last moment with my babies, and I don't have respect for other parents who don't. Please don't trash me for that...I understand the other viewpoint. I just know from personal experience that every moment is a gift.

You are so right... Every moment is a gift. When I was growing up both parents worked and from age 5 I got up and ready for school and made my own breakfast... ALONE... I came home to the house..alone.... Until 600 pm every day... I also played sports.... And went to my games... Yep... Alone.... Although my parents were off work for games... They never went to the first of anything I did... And it hurt me greatly. When I had kids, I swore I would never miss a thing and I am so grateful I never have. Wen there are school functions, I close for that time frame unless my husband is home and then he is my backup for mom functions. He works out if state weeks at a time and misses a lot. But I haven't. And I refuse to.

Unfortunately though, we can't make parents care or make them want to spend time with their kids. That's one reason I wrote my policy the way I did. They know it up front. There's also a clause that if I have an emergency health related or not, I'm closed period end of story. Maybe that's why it doesn't bother me so much I'm not sure.

[Former Teacher]

It use to bother me as well when children would be at my former center for 10plus hours a day. Sadder yet is that the younger they were the longer they were in care

Maybe because I am one of those women who would sell their soul for a child and there are women out there that take their children for granted.

[Kaddidle Care]

I noticed a few different providers venting that the parents are either not at work, or left early and didn't pick up their kid right away. I'm sorry... maybe its because I'm new to this, but so what? My contract is going to list my hours of operation. If a parent drops off in the morning and picks up by closing time, how is it any of my business if they went to work, home to nap, the store, a casino, etc.. I'm being paid to watch the kid for up to 11 hours per day. As long as the parents pick up and drop off within this time frame, and the check doesn't bounce.. I'm good.

A lot of Home Daycare providers are Stay at home Moms. They value the time spent with their own children and have a hard time understanding those that don't want to spend time with their children. Sometimes we wonder why they even have children in the first place.

In my eyes a career will never be equal to the time I have spent with my children.

[littlemissmuffet]

I am still in the process of becoming registered as a day care provider and have been reading posts on this site for weeks now. I noticed a few different providers venting that the parents are either not at work, or left early and didn't pick up their kid right away. I'm sorry... maybe its because I'm new to this, but so what? My contract is going to list my hours of operation. If a parent drops off in the morning and picks up by closing time, how is it any of my business if they went to work, home to nap, the store, a casino, etc.. I'm being paid to watch the kid for up to 11 hours per day. As long as the parents pick up and drop off within this time frame, and the check doesn't bounce.. I'm good.

I felt that way a long time ago when I first started too... but after years of dealing with parents and all the bs that comes with it, your attitude can start to change. Also, once you do this job for awhile you can really notice a difference between the child who spends virtually no awake time with their own parents vs the children who do...

[DAYCARERUNAWAY]

I agree with the others.

When a parent takes off work (generally) they're getting paid to NOT work. They have some sort of allotted hours for paid time off. While I get maybe once in awhile they need to do errands, many parents are just like what other PP's have said:

The same ones who are late, not easily accessible, bring their children sick, etc.

What I do not understand is why parents feel entitled to paid time off, but do not feel that the person who helps them raise their child isn't worthy enough to get time off. It would be nice if parents would realize that daycare providers work their butts off! Daycare is not easy, and time and again, I had parents tell me they could "never do your job" to me. Sometimes I think people have kids like Paris Hilton had dogs...as accessories. I once had a child with me from 5:45 am until 6pm and then an ALTERNATE care provider picked up the child from 6pm until 10pm. The parents had every excuse as to why they coudn't be there for their child. Then the ONE time mom decides to show up for her daughter's Girl Scouts and the teacher didn't want to let her in (as she did NOT know this parent) she gets upset?

I feel that if parents are going to have children, they need to do right by those children. It's a SACRIFICE. Sometimes, I get the feeling parents do not understand this and it's all about them instead of the kid.

I remember many times when parents wouldn't do things for their kids, but constantly did things for themselves and boyfriends or friends. It seemed like the kids came last, and that's terribly sad.

This, among other reasons, is part of what had me close down.

[lovemykidstoo]

Really I don't have parents that do this alot so it's not that big of a deal for me right now. Having said that, I do have one family that I have their son who just turned 2. They just had a baby, so mom is on maternity leave. He still comes 10 hours a day, 3 days a week. Last week she asked me if he was good for me and she said he's been terrible at home. Well, duh, you just rocked his world with a new baby and still leave him here 30 hours a week. So, 3 days a week they pick him up, feed him dinner, bath time and off to bed he goes. Can't imagine why he's having such a hard time. There is no reason he can't be picked up even after 6-7 hours when he's here. That still keeps him somewhat on a schedule and gives him more mom time. That irritates me.

[countrymom]

I've had kids who have been even forgotten to be picked up. I had one mom who needed the day off to put up her christmas tree and then another day to take it down. He ds was so good that he helped me with my tree and he loved it. I've had moms who were suppose to be in school go tanning, their hair done and their nails.

now i work on contract hours. I know where the parents are (and this is important when kids get sick) every one comes and gets their kids when work is done. I wish I would have done it years ago.

[NeedaVaca]

I would love an update after you have started your job maybe 6 months out, just because I would like to know if you change your opinion. That would be interesting! I personally don't care too much but there are times that it bothers me, depends on the situation. I can tell the difference in the behavior of my kids that spend a lot of time with mom/dad vs the ones that don't.

What especially bothers me was that thread with the DCG crying for dad next door and he wouldn't even wave or look at her, that is very sad. A PP mentioned the DCM taking the day off for Christmas tree decorating, I find that sad too I love doing holiday decorations with my kids, those memories will last forever!

That song Cat's in the Cradle? Those lyrics always make me tear up and unfortunately it will be the story of some of these DCF's They won't realize what they are missing until it's too late...

[bunnyslippers]

I would love an update after you have started your job maybe 6 months out, just because I would like to know if you change your opinion. That would be interesting! I personally don't care too much but there are times that it bothers me, depends on the situation. I can tell the difference in the behavior of my kids that spend a lot of time with mom/dad vs the ones that don't.

What especially bothers me was that thread with the DCG crying for dad next door and he wouldn't even wave or look at her, that is very sad. A PP mentioned the DCM taking the day off for Christmas tree decorating, I find that sad too I love doing holiday decorations with my kids, those memories will last forever!

That song Cat's in the Cradle? Those lyrics always make me tear up and unfortunately it will be the story of some of these DCF's They won't realize what they are missing until it's too late...

I will update you, but I am sure my feelings will remain the same. I worked outside of the home the first year my son was born. I couldn't pick him up fast enough at the end of the day!

My neighbor's are famous for dumping their child on anyone they can. The dad takes off his birthday every year, and his daughter spends the day here, with me. I can't think of anything sadder than NOT being with my children on my birthday. Everyone is different...but I don't understand it. Their child is my most attention-craving dck. It isn't hard to figure out why that is the case.

That song makes me cry, every single time.