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I am still in the process of becoming registered as a day care provider and have been reading posts on this site for weeks now. I noticed a few different providers venting that the parents are either not at work, or left early and didn't pick up their kid right away. I'm sorry... maybe its because I'm new to this, but so what? My contract is going to list my hours of operation. If a parent drops off in the morning and picks up by closing time, how is it any of my business if they went to work, home to nap, the store, a casino, etc.. I'm being paid to watch the kid for up to 11 hours per day. As long as the parents pick up and drop off within this time frame, and the check doesn't bounce.. I'm good.
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Chief cook, bottle washer & spider killer... -
My understanding is that as daycare providers we know that parents need and deserve time to themselves. What frustrates us are the parents that have the children in daycare for 8 or more hours EVERYDAY and still don't want to spend time with their child on days off or on weekends. Yes there are parents that also have weekend care.
It's not the occasional day off to themselves it's the ones that habitually don't cherish time with their child. -
I usually don't care either. As long as it's within my work hours, I don't care where they are. (I need to be able to get a hold of them though)
Occasionally though, there are circumstances than make me wonder "WHY?"
One day we had a really, really bad storm. My house was in very bad shape. I clearly had a lot of major work to do just to make it safe. I had no power for a few days, (and it was 114 degrees out) All the parents were in the same boat as I was.... but, they took a week off to get their house fixed, brought the kids to me.Comment
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I had a mom that was out of work for 2.5 weeks. Found a job right away, had to wait to start training.
Her daughter come to my house, every day, for 10 hours.
It's not fair to the child, period. We see this type of behavior, we see how it affects the kids attachments and behavior to not have parents cherish the extra time.
This child was also brought to my house during a blizzard, while BOTH parents were home.
And as someone else said (not sure who) it's when a child is always here, no matter what, is what burns me out the fastest.Comment
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Wow... 114 huh. That's about 40 degrees warmer than I personally prefer to have to deal with. Granted I don't always get my wish, but 65 and partly cloudy is just fine with me. Far be it for me to be new on this site and be giving advice, but I'd have closed for a day or two anyways to at least fix the air conditioning..Chief cook, bottle washer & spider killer...Comment
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Some times could depend on the kid too. Some kids are harder to deal with for longer periods of times, especially after 10 or 11 hours at daycare. Also many people on here are also parent's (I'm not but most are), that's the reason most of them get into home daycare. So its usually because they feel sorry for the kid because since they went into daycare to be with their kids they don't know why the parents would leave their kids in daycare longer than needed after 8-12 hours, usually kids start to get cranky and want mommy or daddy after about 6 or 8 hours (if they don't already miss them). I don't have my FCC yet (in school), but I have worked at one (she's been in business 30+ years) and the kids had lots of fun at daycare but they were always at their happiest at pick up time when they finally get to go home with mommy and daddy, and they were usually very happy when they showed up early (unless it is during a fun non-everyday activity).
Also because if you study child development, they teach you that no matter how fantastic your daycare is and how happy the children are there, it's no substitute for home and family (maybe a close second family; but not a substitute for the original). And yes it's a business. But if your in the business for the right reasons you want what is best for the kids in your care, and in most cases (not always but usually) that is that they have as much time with their family as possible. Not just leave daycare, eat dinner, and go to bed (which some parents do, especially if they pick up late). And yes parent's do need time some time to themselves or focus on their marriage/job/finances but they still need to spend quality (and sometimes just quantity) time with their kids.Comment
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This is my feeling as well. I've had DCKs on occasional days when one parent or the other isn't working. They are home sick, taking a girls/boys day, putting together an event, or just running errands. Last week I had a DCK for the day (later drop off) because DCPs were going to lunch, doing some shopping, and going to a movie because it was their anniversary. Things like this don't bother me. Heck I enjoy my occasional breaks from DD too, I understand parents need time for themselves.
The ones that irk me are the habitual ones, the ones that don't work or call in repeatedly but the DCK is in care from open to close. Its not about what the parent is doing, its about the effect on the DCK that we see and deal with that bothers us. Like that poor DCG that sat crying for dad in the next yard over on the recent thread. Yes people are upset with the DCD but because of the effect its having on the DCK. We care deeply for these children and want to seem them happy and thriving. They love us too but we aren't their parents.
I had a DCM that called in literally at least once every week, frequently she would call in 3 days a week (she got 2 doctors to sign FMLA paper work for DCB's "illness," so she uses it at work to call in without consequences) but DCB is here every day 11hrs even though she isn't at work because she's telling them she needs to be home dealing with him
, on weekends he stays with the neighbors or grandparents. Plus her work has a child care reimbursement program so she always told me "well I don't care if he comes or not, work basically pays for him to be here so its not like I'm loosing money" when DCB would be absent but fees were still due.
I don't even know if it's the fact that they are off that bothers me, maybe that's just the last straw because these parents (in my experience anyway) are usually ones I have other issues with, like repeated late pick ups, payment issues, never having enough supplies...Comment
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ITA with what the other posters said. I'm all for taking some time to yourself every once in a while. Heck, I do it too- my husband and I will take leave every few months for a day and go to lunch or go on a short outing while our twins are in childcare. But for the most part if me or DH aren't working, the boys are at home with us.
I have some parents that seem to spend as little time as possible with their children. It shows in the behavior of the children. I remember last month the Air Force and Army gave their personnel a day off for FAMILY DAY...to spend with their families. I still had 10 out of 14 kids in my class that day. Parents dropped their kids off at 9 am (to allow them to sleep in) and wearing civilian clothes- so we knew they weren't working.
My toddlers (2 year olds) know when their parents aren't working and they do act up when they are dropped off in class. I don't blame the toddlers- I'd be mad too if I knew I could be at home spending time with my mom and dad.
In my experience, parents that keep their kid in daycare from open to close when there is no reason to are also the ones that send their kids in sick, take forever to pick up when we call them when their child NEEDS to be home because they're sick, habitually late for pickup and never sends in appropriate supplies (extra clothes, diapers, wipes, etc).Comment
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Even though my parents are paying a standard rate, it does bother me when their child is in care and they are off work. Once in a while I get it, but when it happens repeatedly it can definitely wear on your nerves. For me it is the principle that the parent is asking me to do more work, so that they can have time to themselves. Sometimes, it would be nice if I had kids leave early so that I could get off early. It just feels very entitled and selfish to ask someone else to do extra unnecessary work (even if they are paying for it). I like personal time just as much as they do.
Also, it bothers me when a child is in my care 50 hours a week and the parents don't spend time with them when they have the chance. It's not my job to judge their parenting, but I just wish some parents knew how much time they are missing out on.
I hate being condescending and saying "once you've been doing this for a while you will understand"....but in this case I think it applies. I felt like you at first, but now I totally understand the frustration in the part of providers.Comment
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you can't close for that, you will see some parents are going to give you grief because whos going to watch their kid all day. Also by having the child every day for long periods of time isn't the best for us either. Easy burn out. And I don't understand this "parents need time to themselves" really what do they do that is so hard that they need time to themselves, that I couldn't do with kids here. Its a two way street, but some parents just dont care.Comment
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We are child care providers who care for children while the parents work, train or go to school. I understand those days where parents are ill themselves, or just happen to have a day off from work, but still bring their child in. But when it is habitual and they're on vacation while the child is in care, then our title switches to babysitter. Parents think that since they're paying for care, they might as well bring them. But they pay on a week to week basis, so when they just come in on a week they aren't working, then that theory that they're paying anyway, goes out the window.
But the bottom line is, they should want to spend time with their children when they have the time.Comment
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The worst I've seen is a parent is home/off work and it's child's birthday and child is here for the entire 9 hours (I only do 9 hr days).
The next is that parent leaves work early to go home and make a cake for child's party at school that night and child is here.....in my mind that is something that the child should be doing WITH the parent. That is a huge bonding thing. The child was a 7.5 year old girl and would have LOVED that special time with mom.... So sad.
and I only live a 2 minutes drive from their home. How great would it have been if parent had come here and surprised girl by getting her off the bus and taken her home to do that???? That's what I would have done, but apparently that's just me
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How each provider runs his/her business is completely up to them and there is no one right or wrong way, only what is right for you.
I personally do not care what a parent is or isn't doing while I have their child in care provided they adhere to the schedule they submitted to me as to when their child is dropped off at care and picked up from care.
It is obviously a benefit for children to get as much face time as possible with their parent but we can't make parents do that so YOU choose what works best for your business and do things in a manner that works best for you.
I used to have open and close hours. I used to have ALL enrolled children from open to close without fail.
I now run on contracted hours and don't have standard open/close hours. I now open when the first child is scheduled to arrive and close when the last child is scheduled to be picked up.
I work less hours now for more money so I KNOW that for me, contracted hours are more beneficial verses standard open/close hours.
Now I can't guarantee that just because a parent picked up their child earlier in the day that they are actually spending quality time with them but I can guarantee that any connection to the amount of face time a child has with their parent is not dependent on me.
I can't change what kind of parent a person is but I can control what type of provider I choose to be but I can control my business, the hours I work and the amount of time I am willing to care for another person's child.Comment
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I personally don't care what they are doing generally but we are in hurricane country. One time it looked like it was really coming our way so all the parents brought their children so they could prepare their house. How was I supposed to do mine? Luckily my daughter was off work and went to get water and necessities (cause they sell out fast) and my sons boarded up the windows. I just got lucky that they happened to be available. Of course, the hurricane never came that time. :
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Now I put it in my contract that I will take a day off for hurricane prep. Our licensing rules say we are not allowed to operate without air conditioning. Well they don't say air conditioning but over a certain temperature in the house. Then after one they come out to inspect the house. If there is any damage, we can't open again until it is fixed.
I don't believe every little thing has to be in my contract either. I could just as easily say "I'll have to close tomorrow to do storm preparations." If they don't like it....oh well...
LaurelComment
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The things parents do and do not do directly impact their children.
When you have parents who do not want to spend time with their children there are ALWAYS negative repercussions to that....quite commonly the result is behavioral problems.
I am not in the business of enabling parents to neglect their children.
I am not in the business of loving and caring about someone else's child more than they do.
I have no desire to see or support that dysfunction and resulting pain.
I agree with BC, everyone needs to do what they feel comfortable with. I personally see this as an ethics issue and it is a hard line for me.Comment
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