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I am all for co-sleeping, but they should put one of the boys in their bed, not a crib together. A new toddler isn't ready to understand not to hurt the baby, and what if big brother decides the baby needs hugs? All night?Comment
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It seems VERY dangerous to me, but I have no advice on how to approachComment
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I also feel it is dangerous. My son just turned a year. At 11 months, they are pulling up, standing, walking, climbing. My concern is when the toddler wakes up, I can't imagine he would be still for long. Another concern is if there is toys or a blanket in the crib. I could picture the toddler picking the blanket up and placing is wherever....even on the baby. if the infant isn't sleeping through the night, is the toddler getting decent sleep each night?
It may be a cultural thing.....still doesn't make it safe. If you have a good relationship with the mom, she may receive your insight. The fact that you work with children is a bonus. Approach her as a friend, who sees the danger because you work with children and know what they are capable of. Use the "sandwich" method. Start out with something positive (the kids, her parenting, etc...), bring up the negative (the danger), end on a positive note again.Comment
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But, it is dangerous!!
I don't think it's questioning anyone's choice so much as looking out for the best interest of both kids. An adult can have some control over their movements but, an infant can not. I would try to speak to your cousin also. Let him handle it the way he feels fit with his wife.
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Personal opinion is that it is not safe. Little ones toss and turn all over. They will lie on top of whatever happens to be in the crib. Watch your dck's today as they sleep...especially the younger ones.
If there's a pillow or wadded blanket, somehow they will seek it out and lie on top of it...that very well could be a newborn they lie on top of.
I so understand cultural, but those cultures began long before the dangers of this type of sleeping were realized and being of modern times, with the knowledge we have today, even someone from another culture should understand how dangerous this is.Comment
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Okay, I have to chime in. I think co-sleeping is wonderful if done correctly and safely. This is NOT "just co-sleeping," as someone wrote. You can research safe co-sleeping all you want, and you'll find every time that it's highly dangerous for older children to sleep with infants.
Older kids can and do roll over on infants and can suffocate them. An older sibling should never, never, never sleep with an infant. Kids sleep so deeply that it's likely the older one could do this. The infant would not be able to protect him or herself.
In response to the person who said she knew someone who slept with his sister until 13, this is not the same scenario as a toddler and an infant sleeping together.
Not only would the infant's death be tragic, it's horrible to think about how the older child might feel if he/she ever found out how his/her younger sibling died. It's NOT worth the risk.
I would send your relative a polite note with the link to an article about safe co-sleeping with siblings. Look up information on co-sleeping by Dr. Sears. Yes, they may be offended, but they also might be completely surprised and unaware and grateful for the information. In any case, I think it's the right thing to do. Once they have the information, it's out of your hands.Comment
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how about for the toddlers first birthday you and several family members buy a toddler bed. But it is a saftey hazard---------no difference if a toddler and a newborn sleep together or and adult and a newborn, both can end dangerously. Now I am for co sleeping, but I didn't co sleep with ydd till she was about 2 or 3 months.Comment
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Countrymom, same here. I co-sleep with my son, but I didn't begin until he was 8 months old. Until then, he slept in our room but in his own bed.Comment
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