Do You State The Obvious?

[MsLaura529]

Well one of my teachers who is also the director of the school's state preschool program said that parents legally do not have to tell the center anything about the child's health that they are aware of if not asked directly (even HIV/AIDS- which I think is illegal to ask parents directly anyway) out of fear of being discriminated. .

That may be the legal aspect of it, but I think that as a parent, if my child has special needs issues (or be in a health situation where, maybe there are no special needs now, but could come up at some point), I would WANT the people taking care of my child to know about these issues. I understand not wanting to be discrimnated and all of that stuff, but I would definitely want to find a provider for my child that is capable of taking care of my child in the way he/she needs to be taken care of. It's only "common sense" of parenting.

OP - I think some of the others had some good advice about saying "are there any health issues or special concerns that I should be aware of?"

[canadiancare]

If you are a regular home daycare provider who gets to pick and choose her clients you have every right to determine that you are not able to meet this child's needs should they have any that would make caring for them a challenge- just as you have every right to just get a "bad vibe" off a specific set of parents and decide they aren't a great fit for you.


If you are a centre based or a licensed private you may have different legislation that you need to follow but I would expect there are written policies for you to refer to somewhere.

Good luck with this.

[crazydaycarelady]

I think they should have been up front about it also.

How old was the child? It is possible they are in denial? I had some parents once who brought over a 15mo who could not even sit up on his own. His parents were in complete denial that anything could be wrong.

[MarinaVanessa]

I would have asked the family about it right up front. Actually, I ask all potential clients if their child has any special medical, religious or dietary needs. I ask them each of these separately by starting with medical issues, then religious needs and then lastly food issues. I personally want to know these details so that I know whether I can accommodate these needs or not.

Who knows why the parent didn't bring it up but maybe to the parent, the child's special needs aren't all that special so she didn't see it as an issue being worth discussing. Or maybe because the provider didn't mention it, she didn't feel like she had to talk about it yet.

During interviews people are sometimes surprised when I ask about allergies or other special needs, they figure that's stuff to talk about afterwards when they actually sign up. I want to know right away so that I can base my decision on whether or not I can make accommodations. I take a proactive approach. If you want to know, ask.

[safechner]

How could you possibly read my post and think I was judging the child?!?!

I am not saying you was judging the child but I am just saying to some people because I had been through before.

Only thing, I noticed you wrote, " I kept waiting for them to mention his health issues so that I could judge whether or not I am capable of caring for him. " You already noticed he has DS but he may not have any health issues that his parents didn't need to tell you. I would say kinda sound like judgmental. All I can say that you need to give him a chance if you have two week trial. If you feel it doesnt work out for you then you can do whatever you want.

As a parent, I don't have to tell the provider about my daughter that she have special needs but I only mentioned that she has PDDNOS. Two of providers told me that they cannot take my daughter because of autism and deaf but they want my other daughter who is normal. That makes me angry.... That was a long time ago.. They didn't give my daughter a chance but I only need her to be in care for only 45 mins before/after school (preschool) and my other daughter need to be in care full time. Both of my daughters are very sweet girls as same as always... My daughters' teachers always comments about my daughters when they grew up and they are crazy about them... I dont understand why providers can't take it but I do believe they are just lazy in my opinions.

[countrymom]

well I had a family who witheld info. The 5 yr old was adhd (didn't know) and was on meds (didn't know) so I went outside to get the dcg off the bus, the dcg's are in my view and I'm 5 steps from the bus and the gparents show up. They were so mad (they were very aware that I pick up girl from the bus) because I didn't have dcb outside (really for the 2 min isn't worth it) well gma then starts to tell me that I need to supervise him because he will beat the tar out of the kids, if I go to the bathroom he needs to sit infront of the door, that he has adhd, on meds, will be violent-----non of the this was disclosed to me. I was mad and termed them. I'm not going to risk losing all my kids because they didn't want to tell me, sorry but as a provider I have the right to know if something is wrong. What would have happened if he had a seizure, or had a heart problem. If I'm watching a child for 10 hours a day I have to know everything.

[Starburst]

That may be the legal aspect of it, but I think that as a parent, if my child has special needs issues (or be in a health situation where, maybe there are no special needs now, but could come up at some point), I would WANT the people taking care of my child to know about these issues. I understand not wanting to be discrimnated and all of that stuff, but I would definitely want to find a provider for my child that is capable of taking care of my child in the way he/she needs to be taken care of. It's only "common sense" of parenting.

Not all parents follow the "common sense" of parenting, as many threads on here have shown. That director said they once had a DCK who had HIV at one point but the parent didn't tell them until the child had to take medications at school for it. They legally did not have to say anything initially because their health is technically not considered a threat to others unless the child is actively bleeding, biting/kissing someone when they have open mouth sores (cannot be transferred through saliva alone), has bloody vomit/feces/ other bodily fluids, or if the mother has HIV/AIDS and for some reason brings breast milk to the center and another child drinks it (usually breast feeding is discouraged if it is known that the mother has HIV/AIDS). Even in most of these cases it is not considered a threat because licensed providers are supposed to be trained on universal sanitation percussions (part of the state safety/health/nutrition requirements).

Though if I did find out a family willingly lied and withheld information on the application that I saw as very important information that affects the overall well-being of the child or other children in daycare (such as if that child needed special medications during daycare hours or if the child is constantly violent) that I was not aware of when they enrolled I would probably term them because they lied, not because of the child's special needs.

Plus, as someone who has anxiety issues, I can tell you that sometimes fear outranks logic and even common sense sometimes.

[NeedaVaca]

I am not saying you was judging the child but I am just saying to some people because I had been through before.

Only thing, I noticed you wrote, " I kept waiting for them to mention his health issues so that I could judge whether or not I am capable of caring for him. " You already noticed he has DS but he may not have any health issues that his parents didn't need to tell you. I would say kinda sound like judgmental. All I can say that you need to give him a chance if you have two week trial. If you feel it doesnt work out for you then you can do whatever you want.

As a parent, I don't have to tell the provider about my daughter that she have special needs but I only mentioned that she has PDDNOS. Two of providers told me that they cannot take my daughter because of autism and deaf but they want my other daughter who is normal. That makes me angry.... That was a long time ago.. They didn't give my daughter a chance but I only need her to be in care for only 45 mins before/after school (preschool) and my other daughter need to be in care full time. Both of my daughters are very sweet girls as same as always... My daughters' teachers always comments about my daughters when they grew up and they are crazy about them... I dont understand why providers can't take it but I do believe they are just lazy in my opinions.

ok, you start off by saying she's not judging but then you turn around and say she does sound judgemental:confused: I didn't take what she said to be judgemental, she needs to be aware of his needs. DS CAN have a lot of special needs. I have a hard time understanding your posts but did you say you took your daughter to a provider and didn't tell them she was deaf? That is very important IMO, as a provider I NEED to know that, safety issues etc...it would change the way I handle certain situations. It would not be a deal breaker, nor would DS but if I was not told upfront I would be very upset! Every provider offers different types of programs and not taking a special needs child does not make them "lazy".

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Maybe he don't have any capabilities that they might dont need to be addressed on that... Some ds children are perfect fine and normal that my friend's son have DS but he is a wonderful person and very smart boy. I don't see anything wrong with him just have DS.

You should have mention to them like, "Is there anything I should know about?" They might will be able to tell you.

Honestly, I hate some people are trying to be judging if they have special needs or whatever if they can capable them or not. If someone is trying to be judging on my daughter who has profoundly deaf and PDDNOS on autism spectrum then I would be pissed! I do believe no one judges on special needs children or adults that doesnt mean they are bad, if you know what I mean. Just saying...

You're taking this entirely too personally and may need to step away from your keyboard to regroup.

Judging whether you are CAPABLE of providing superb care to a special needs child is not judging the child. :confused:
I would absolutely disclose my teenage son's issues to someone if he was younger and I needed someone to care for him. Why would you want a provider who wasn't fully comfortable??? I, as a parent, certainly wouldn't want someone taking care of my child if they weren't fully comfortable doing so. It's a judgement call based on their own abilities in regards to certain delays/disabilities/etc.

I, as a provider, have two children with Autism in my program. I did have a child with Autism in my program last summer who I had to terminate care for immediately because the parent did not disclose the extreme violence this child had towards other children. This child hit, bit, kicked, pinched, slapped, choked, and wanted to bash the other children over the head with various items/toys. I can handle that towards me. I cannot accept that behavior towards other children. Had I known that, I would not have accepted that child into my program. I cannot have other children assaulted, regardless of any reason why it may be occurring.

[MsLaura529]

Not all parents follow the "common sense" of parenting, as many threads on here have shown.

Plus, as someone who has anxiety issues, I can tell you that sometimes fear outranks logic and even common sense sometimes.

Very true.

And yes, I also struggle with anxiety regarding judgements towards myself, all the time. But I would still want to make sure my child was getting the best care possible. That's all I was trying to say. I wasn't trying to prove you wrong or anything.

[Starburst]

And yes, I also struggle with anxiety regarding judgements towards myself, all the time. But I would still want to make sure my child was getting the best care possible. That's all I was trying to say.

I totally agree with that. That's why I am currently taking a class on working with children with special needs, so that way I am aware of some of the latest techniques or technologies that can help children with particular special needs. If it where up to me I would only take kids with special needs, but many parents of special needs kids want their child in a mainstream school/programs. Plus, I am not sure if I would need special training or certification to only do special needs.

[mnemom]

I can see why the parents wouldn't have mentioned that the child had DS. Maybe they wanted their child to be judged on who they are not what they have. I don't think the OP was judging the child negatively at all, but everyone knows what Down Syndrome is. Everyone has a predetermined idea in their head what caring for a child with DS may be like. Every child with DS is different. After talking with you the parents may have thought that your center was a good match for their child, who just happens to have DS. Maybe he does not have any other health concerns, large enough delays, and could function as any other child in your care. In this case having Down Syndrome is irrelevant. Or maybe I am completely wrong. I would just be straight forward with them. Clearly they know their child has DS, and clearly they know you know. I would just straight up ask if the child has any health concerns you will need to have specific training on and just like any other child, if there is anything else you should know about the child to make him feel comfortable and help you provide the best care for him. And if you feel like this child is not the right fit for your program, as with any other child who may just not be the right fit, be honest with the parent's and tell them that. IME Parent's of special needs kids just want honestly, open lines of communication, and for their child's caregivers to see their child beyond their special need.

[SilverSabre25]

I think that having DS, even with no other profound issues or delays, still needs to be mentioned. "As you can probably see, he has Down Syndrome, but it's a mild form and he doesn't have any major delays or other medical concerns. He's pretty much just a normal little boy!"

Put me in the camp of "WHY wouldn't you want a care provider to have ALL the information they need to do a good job?" even if that information is "there's no information" that's STILL worthy.

[mnemom]

I think that having DS, even with no other profound issues or delays, still needs to be mentioned. "As you can probably see, he has Down Syndrome, but it's a mild form and he doesn't have any major delays or other medical concerns. He's pretty much just a normal little boy!"

Put me in the camp of "WHY wouldn't you want a care provider to have ALL the information they need to do a good job?" even if that information is "there's no information" that's STILL worthy.

Why? She can already clearly see that he does.

[SilverSabre25]

Why? She can already clearly see that he does.

Because...it just seems like good communication and it would make perfectly clear what his situation was. Kind of like, writing "NONE" in the box for "List current medications" or "List all known allergies" on a form at the doctor's office or wherever--it makes it clear that the person isn't on/doesn't have any, and didn't just miss that part of the form. Do you see what I mean? Stating that there IS nothing different is just common sense to me.