Do You State The Obvious?

[countrymom]

Why? She can already clearly see that he does.

the op said she was guessing that he had ds. The parents should have said something regardless if he had something wrong with him or not. How are we as providers suppose to care for children when not all the information is not given to us.

I ask parents how their children eat or sleep or what conforts them, I need to know this to help the child thrive in my daycare. I don't like surprises, like the one I posted above. I didn't know this child was very violent towards other children otherwise I wouldn't have taken him, I need to protect the others

[bunnyslippers]

I am chiming in late to this conversation, but I have a similar story. I used to work in an integrated public preschool. We had 1/2 the students with special needs, and 1/2 who were developing typically.

It was the first day of our open house for typical peers. In walked the sewwtest little girl who was signed up as a typical peer. She had Down Syndrome. The parents were of a religion that did not believe in medical interventions at all, so it had never been diagnosed or evaluated.

We ended up having to have a frank and clear discussion with the mom, and the child got the services she needed to develop into an amazing little lady.

Down Syndrome is a huge range, and there are medical concerns that need to be addressed when a child with DS is in care.

I think I would have addressed it, as others have suggested, by asking if there were any special circumstances that needed to be monitored. Tough one ~

[mnemom]

the op said she was guessing that he had ds. The parents should have said something regardless if he had something wrong with him or not. How are we as providers suppose to care for children when not all the information is not given to us.

I ask parents how their children eat or sleep or what conforts them, I need to know this to help the child thrive in my daycare. I don't like surprises, like the one I posted above. I didn't know this child was very violent towards other children otherwise I wouldn't have taken him, I need to protect the others

I agree that a provider needs to be notified of any behavioral and health concerns, among other quirks of the child they are caring for. I am assuming the OP in the original phone interview and other interviews most likely face to face the OP asked or plans on asking about behavior concerns, health issues, sleeping issues, allergies, typical daily routine, and any other questions you would ask any other parent. I agree the parent needs to be honest in answering those questions. BUT you can answer all those questions honestly and still leave the Down Syndrome out of it. The child is still who is he without labeling him as having Down Syndrome.

[Sugar Magnolia]

I know but I am not saying about the OP. I am saying to some people are like that. For example, a few people tried to judge on me because I am deaf myself.. Oh well... They didn't know that I can speak very well. I don't care what other people think because I love my life, anyways! :-)

I'm very hard of hearing also. I feel judged sometimes by strangers, usually because they are thinking I'm ignoring them. Those that know me, like DCP's , have no problem with it. Hey, just tap me on the shoulder if I seemed not to hear you. And talk in my direction do I can see your lips.

To the OP, I like "are there any delays I should know about?" Tactful, yet v to the point.bottom line, if you don't feel comfortable, don't enroll.

[Starburst]

I The child is still who is he without labeling him as having Down Syndrome.

That could be another thing too, maybe they don't want him to be labeled. Some people do not like labels that society places on people, even medical labels. He may have Down Syndrome but that is not all he his. Just like someone with any disability would not want to be labeled "disabled" or "handicapped" because that is only a small part of who they are because its not a personality trait (like the person being bubbly, creative, energetic) or a job title (like a doctor, lawyer, teacher).

Who knows maybe they told other providers about their child's disability and got turned away and were afraid of that rejection or they are afraid people will look at the child only as a disabled person, if they don't meet them first.

There is this one video of a girl with a non-verbal form of autism who learned how to type to communicate and she says people always judge her because of things she cannot control (around five minutes in she talks about her feelings on being judged on her special needs status). Really heartwarming video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shAHJryco_g

[NeedaVaca]

I agree that a provider needs to be notified of any behavioral and health concerns, among other quirks of the child they are caring for. I am assuming the OP in the original phone interview and other interviews most likely face to face the OP asked or plans on asking about behavior concerns, health issues, sleeping issues, allergies, typical daily routine, and any other questions you would ask any other parent. I agree the parent needs to be honest in answering those questions. BUT you can answer all those questions honestly and still leave the Down Syndrome out of it. The child is still who is he without labeling him as having Down Syndrome.

Living with a diagnosis is not a label it's a reality. Down Syndrome is a diagnosis not a label.

[countrymom]

Living with a diagnosis is not a label it's a reality. Down Syndrome is a diagnosis not a label.

your right. Its a diagnosis not a label. A label is someone who is lazy, cheap, a drunk...see how we label parents as lazy, they don't care for their kids....see the difference.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Living with a diagnosis is not a label it's a reality. Down Syndrome is a diagnosis not a label.

Bingo.

I have Asperger's. I am not Asperger's, but I do HAVE Asperger's. I don't feel like it labels me, but it does help those around me to understand various things about me.

[SilverSabre25]

your right. Its a diagnosis not a label. A label is someone who is lazy, cheap, a drunk...see how we label parents as lazy, they don't care for their kids....see the difference.

Bingo.

I have Asperger's. I am not Asperger's, but I do HAVE Asperger's. I don't feel like it labels me, but it does help those around me to understand various things about me.

Perfect!!!

[mnemom]

What I meant by labeled is that maybe his parents wanted him to be seen as "Joey" the kid who is a little shy at first, loves to play with other kids, sleeps in a pack n play for naps with his silkie blue blanket, and hates broccolli, rather than a child with Down's Syndrome. This isn't an invisible disability, like aspergers or autism. The majority of adults, especially caregivers, could clearly see that "Joey" has down syndrome. His parents do not need to state that he has Down Syndrome. The statement is not going to change anything. It is not going to change weather or not he fits well with your program, if you can take care of him properly, if he will hit or bite the other children, the diagnosis of Down Syndrome doesn't make him who he is.

My point is Op asks his parents if he has DS, or any DD or any other "tactful" question... his parents answer that he has DS.. Okay now what... you still need to ask ALL the other SAME questions that you would need to ask any other parents. How does confirming that he has Down Syndrome change anything??

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

What I meant by labeled is that maybe his parents wanted him to be seen as "Joey" the kid who is a little shy at first, loves to play with other kids, sleeps in a pack n play for naps with his silkie blue blanket, and hates broccolli, rather than a child with Down's Syndrome. This isn't an invisible disability, like aspergers or autism. The majority of adults, especially caregivers, could clearly see that "Joey" has down syndrome. His parents do not need to state that he has Down Syndrome. The statement is not going to change anything. It is not going to change weather or not he fits well with your program, if you can take care of him properly, if he will hit or bite the other children, the diagnosis of Down Syndrome doesn't make him who he is.

My point is Op asks his parents if he has DS, or any DD or any other "tactful" question... his parents answer that he has DS.. Okay now what... you still need to ask ALL the other SAME questions that you would need to ask any other parents. How does confirming that he has Down Syndrome change anything??

It leads to other questions, like "Are there any accommodations or modifications that would need to be made?"

[mnemom]

It leads to other questions, like "Are there any accommodations or modifications that would need to be made?"

Clearly they don't want special accommodations or they would have talked openly about them and most likely would have brought up the fact that yes he does have Down Syndrome.

[safechner]

ok, you start off by saying she's not judging but then you turn around and say she does sound judgemental:confused: I didn't take what she said to be judgemental, she needs to be aware of his needs. DS CAN have a lot of special needs. I have a hard time understanding your posts but did you say you took your daughter to a provider and didn't tell them she was deaf? That is very important IMO, as a provider I NEED to know that, safety issues etc...it would change the way I handle certain situations. It would not be a deal breaker, nor would DS but if I was not told upfront I would be very upset! Every provider offers different types of programs and not taking a special needs child does not make them "lazy".

Once again, she is not judging on THIS child but she really wants to know more about him like health issues before she decided judge capable to take him. That sounds like a little judgmental because she worried if he have more health issues, not to special needs child. Maybe there is nothing wrong with him just have DS that parents didnt need to tell her. I have a friend's son who has DS but he is normal boy.

Yes, two of providers (it was very small group) were very aware that my daughter is deaf but they said they dont want to take her because of her autism and deaf. They met my daughter and my daughter plays as normal as other kids and her little sister and she already saw her... My daughter only need 15 mins before school and 30 mins after school, that is not too hard for provider to take care of her. She is very good kid. That is why I think they are just lazy... I am provider myself and I can read their body language, that is how I know...

Ok... as far as you already know that i am deaf myself. Do I have to tell my parents that I am deaf before they enrollment their children in my home? It is none of their business!! I want them to look at me that I can do anything to take care of their children in my home... I am lucky they love me. They didn't know that I am deaf because I can speak very good. They of course later found out that I am deaf but they dont care because they told me that they are very impressed with me. That is why I believe they should give them a chance...

[NeedaVaca]

Clearly they don't want special accommodations or they would have talked openly about them and most likely would have brought up the fact that yes he does have Down Syndrome.

Not necessarily, they might be interviewing with daycares for the 1st time and were unsure how to proceed, nervous, etc. We don't know the age of the child either. If it's an infant they might not be sure of what his needs are at this point and as he grows his needs may change.

[safechner]

You're taking this entirely too personally and may need to step away from your keyboard to regroup.

Judging whether you are CAPABLE of providing superb care to a special needs child is not judging the child. :confused:
I would absolutely disclose my teenage son's issues to someone if he was younger and I needed someone to care for him. Why would you want a provider who wasn't fully comfortable??? I, as a parent, certainly wouldn't want someone taking care of my child if they weren't fully comfortable doing so. It's a judgement call based on their own abilities in regards to certain delays/disabilities/etc.

I, as a provider, have two children with Autism in my program. I did have a child with Autism in my program last summer who I had to terminate care for immediately because the parent did not disclose the extreme violence this child had towards other children. This child hit, bit, kicked, pinched, slapped, choked, and wanted to bash the other children over the head with various items/toys. I can handle that towards me. I cannot accept that behavior towards other children. Had I known that, I would not have accepted that child into my program. I cannot have other children assaulted, regardless of any reason why it may be occurring.

I already explained to NeedaVaca so you can read my post about judgmental.

My daughter is NOT aggressive. That is why most providers think children have autism and they mean they are very aggressive, if you know what I mean. Every kids who have autism are different.... That is why they didn't give them a chance. I do believe they should give them a chance. If it doesn't work out then they can terminate just like you said... That is why most providers have two weeks trial.

As you mentioned that you have Asperger's which is under autism spectrum. I don't think you didn't mentioned to the parents what you have in the interview, am I right? If I am right, I am sure you believe they should give you a chance that you can do anything like someone else.