Does This Smell Fishy? Potential Family

[Preschool/daycare teacher]

I have an interview Tuesday evening with a Grandma looking for care for her grand daughter. She's not too happy with the daycare quality where she is right now (too much tv and a couple other things it sounded like). I get the impression that she is looking for daycare for her grand daughter although she's not the child's guardian. I'm wondering why it's not her parents contacting me instead. And why is Grandma paying for her childcare?

But anyway, Grandma knows I'm not even open yet, but wanted to come see the facility as soon as possible. It sounded to me like she wanted to see the layout and environment to see if she liked it. As soon as we set up a day and time for her to come see it, she was ready to hang up, even before we had even discussed the hours she would need care, how many days per week (full or part time), the rates, etc. She kept trying to hang up before I could even ask my own questions (I wanted to make sure her hours and days would work for me). When I asked which hours she would need she said 6:30 or 7 am until 3 or 4 pm. Then she tried to hang up before I could let her know I wouldn't be opening at 6:30 am. When I told her, she quickly said, "oh, well that doesn't matter. I might be able to just go into work a little later or something. Okay see you Tuesday! Bye".

So she doesn't know my exact hours, my rates, or anything. She did ask if I would be doing the CCDF and I just told her I could possibly look into it. But she acted like it didn't matter that much if I did or didn't.

Does it sound fishy for her to want to meet me and see the daycare facility before she even knows any of the other details? I'm wondering if she is just being nosey and wants to see the daycare. She knows another owner had it and gave it up, which is why I am taking it now. All the toys, furniture, equipment, etc that is in the daycare is all used and I haven't even been in it yet to see what it looks like since the last owner had it (I used to be the preschool teacher and assistant there). So I have gotten permission from the landlord to go in Monday and look at it, do some cleaning and all that to somehow make it presentable for the lady coming Tuesday. I don't know how she even thinks she'll get a feel for the daycare and how I would be running it if I'm not even open yet. She also knows I'm not even licensed yet. But yet she is in a hurry to see it and meet me. :confused:

[Blackcat31]

Unless she is the LEGAL custodial parent/guardian I would NOT even entertain the idea of meeting with her.

[rmc20021]

Yes it does sound fishy...aside from just being the grandma. I would almost bet she is a little older, so sounding as though she is of grandma age and the only way she could make it sound like she was truly interested was by claiming to be the grandma of a child.

I also wouldn't be surprised if it's not someone who was affiliated with the old daycare...possibly even the previous owner just fishing for info as to whether it was being reopened or not.

Sounds doubtful she will actually show for an interview or tour or anything else.

[preschoolteacher]

It sounds fishy to me. And I agree with BC. Unless she's the legal guardian of the child, I wouldn't waste my time. Who knows, she could be an extremely pushy mother/mother-in-law who thinks the grandchild's daycare is horrible and wants to move her... unless the parents agree, the child probably won't go anywhere. If I were you, I'd let her know that you require a legal guardian of the child to be present for the tour.

It sounds to me like she wants to scope out the daycare and may not even have a child to enroll at all.

[crazydaycarelady]

I would know immediately upon seeing a place whether I would leave my kids there or not. Maybe she feels like she needs to see it first to know if she is interested. No sense in getting all of the details until she knows she is interested.

[sharlan]

Not necessarily.

My one SA was set up through the grandma. She made the initial call, did the interview, brought the child, and paid 1/2 of the daycare. The father just came and signed the paperwork. I still see more of the grandma than I do the dad.

[Solandia]

I had that exact situation many years ago, and it worked out fine. Grandma was the babysitter for quite some time, and was D-O-N-E. Once the mom qualified for daycare assistance, grandma took the lead in finding childcare, b/c mom really didn't care one way or another. I required interview with parents and kids, like normal. All contracts were signed by mom/dad(kids' dad), I required all communication to go through the parents.

But GRANDMA was the one who paid the deposit, and copays. A ton more reliable than the typical subsidy family. For assistance folks, I required regular payment until subsidy starts, then I will refund or apply payment to future care (for example, subsidy doesn't pay for sick days or days parent is not a work/school). Plus subsidy here pays once a month AFTER care is provided....so for the entire month of APRIL gets paid on May 10-15. I am NOT a bank, I do NOT extend credit for 6 weeks of care.

99% of the time, subsidy clients go with a center b/c the center will not required payment up front, only the projected co-pay. good for them. But GRANDMA didn't want the babies to go our crappy local center, so she was willing to pay for daycare so SHE didn't have to watch them all the time (because mom & kids lived with grandma, so she never really got a break). These were teen parents, and grandma was slowly forcing them to grow up. Yet I wasn't the one teaching them how to follow policy, and grandma was a great backup to "**** it up, Buttercup", this is how daycare in the real world works.

There were some bumps, but overall a very positive experience. I have had other teen parents before with baby in my care...and it can be a delicate balance to be explicit in expectations w/o giving too much leeway,etc, yet not being condenscending...kinda of parenting the parent without them knowing it? Grandma was a nice buffer to that.

[Unregistered]

I agree, I would request that a legal gaurdian of the child be present for the tour, otherwise it may just be a huge waste of your time.

I've been hearing more of this lately though where grandmas are coming to the interviews and being the ones making the inquiry calls, just generally being more involved in the daycare search. Maybe because parents are working, or maybe because parents are passing off the responsibility? Maybe grandma is a bit controling, or footing the bill and thinks she calls the shots?

[sharlan]

double post

[mrsnj]

I deal with a grandmom here too. But she isn't the only who interviewed. I spoke with her about the DC. But the parents are the ones who came....even though gmom is footing the bill

I guess I wouldn't find it odd. Maybe she is doing the leg work for the parents. But I WOULD require the child to attend. I don't do interviews without the child there to meet them also.

[MyAngels]

It could be fishy but it might not be. I have a family now that grandma took the lead and set up the interview, did most of the talking and probably is paying the bills. They are a great family overall.

I would just prepare for the interview and if she shows great, and if not, you dodge a bullet.

[itlw8]

I have no problem with her being a grandma but no WAY would I interview in a place that I had not taken over and done the work needed. It is like showing a house when it is trashed. You are not going to sell it... honey you will not get a kid when you have not done your improvements yet.. Cancel and reschedule when you are ready to start accepting children.

[TheGoodLife]

I agree, could be legit- I have a grandma who came an did all the interviewing and setting up, mom did come by once before DCB started, though, I think. Grandma pays me, and actually lives across the street- she watches him most of the day, I just do time that overlaps when when DCM and her are both at work.

[NeedaVaca]

I have no problem with her being a grandma but no WAY would I interview in a place that I had not taken over and done the work needed. It is like showing a house when it is trashed. You are not going to sell it... honey you will not get a kid when you have not done your improvements yet.. Cancel and reschedule when you are ready to start accepting children.

This was my 1st thought. No way would I interview until my space was ready or at least close and presentable. If she is in fact a possible good client and doesn't like the way it looks you lose someone before you even start. I would reschedule.

[AmyKidsCo]

Are you a group center or family program? IMO a group center is more of a "public" space because it's not in a home, so I wouldn't have a problem giving her a tour - IF I felt the space would give a good impression. But if you're family and she wants a tour of your home I'd make sure she was seriously looking for care before agreeing to a tour.

It's possible she isn't happy with the current center and wants to have a good alternative to suggest. I don't know what arrangement the family has made, but if she's paying for child care she might have some say in where the child goes.