Do You Allow

[mbullette]

I find it bizarre that you don't allow your parents in to see where their kids are! I wouldn't ever place my child in the care of someone that I couldn't see the area they are in!

My parents are free to walk into my home without knocking, in fact I prefer it. They are welcome to check in, any time, without notice. They are more than welcome to walk around the main floor of my home, where my daycare is located, and look at whatever they want.

I foster a very open and trusting relationship with my parents. One of my dads even hangs out for 30-60 minutes every day when he picks his daughter up. All of my parents trust me and know that they can check up anytime, which furthers our trust.

I have an open door policy also. Some of my parents come on their lunch hour and take their child to the park or on a walk. All of my parents know just to come in and they are welcome to walk around the main level. I have nothing to hide and all of my families trust me and have respect for me and my home.

[nannyde]

I find it bizarre that you don't allow your parents in to see where their kids are! I wouldn't ever place my child in the care of someone that I couldn't see the area they are in!

My parents are free to walk into my home without knocking, in fact I prefer it. They are welcome to check in, any time, without notice. They are more than welcome to walk around the main floor of my home, where my daycare is located, and look at whatever they want.

I foster a very open and trusting relationship with my parents. One of my dads even hangs out for 30-60 minutes every day when he picks his daughter up. All of my parents trust me and know that they can check up anytime, which furthers our trust.

I would loose every client I had if they found out I was allowing a parent to hang out for an hour every day when their kid was in the house. Holy Buckets

I think my licensor would have a problem with that too. Anyone around the kids that much would need to have security checks and training.

I also wouldn't even work for someone who wanted to do that. I want to work for parents that can't wait to get the heck out of here and be alone with their kids. They don't want me involved in their family time.

I don't allow parents in the playroom. If I make any major changes in the play room I invite them to come see about it. When they interview they do three interviews and see all the day care areas. After that it's front door only. I don't want the extra parent conferencing time for a hang out and I don't want to have parents parenting under my roof. It would be too stressful for me and too much of a liability to have them in the house for hours a week.

I would never allow my child in a day care that allowed a day care dad to hang out for an hour while my kid was in the house and you wouldn't hire a provider who kept the parents at the front door. Complete opposite but that's what makes this job so great. Do what works for you and find parents that fit into what you like.

[Leanna]

My families don't knock or anything either - they know to just come right in. My house also has no entryway or mudroom so they walk right into "daycare." Most parents bundle their little one up right there in the living room area but sometimes they need to use the bathroom or their child wants to show them something in the playroom which is downstairs. The only area of my home which is not "daycare" is my two kids' bedrooms and my own bedroom (the doors of which are always shut). While I do not mind at all parents checking out all other areas of the house, I would be a little hurt if they took it upon themselves to go into the bedrooms. (Although I have invited one mom to nurse in my bedroom because she wanted some privacy.)
As for parents "hanging out" I don't understand the concept . Don't they have jobs to be at? I've had nursing moms come on their lunch breaks to nurse and cuddle and my moms and a few dads might hang out for 15 minutes or so at drop-off and pick-up, but for the most part the kids are comfortable with arrival and the parents are eager to get home after a long day.

[frgsonmysox]

Like I said, most of my families are military families. A lot of the time their spouses are deployed for long periods of time. The dad I was talking about is dual military family. He works incredibly long hours, all the time, and his wife is on a 7 month deployment to a war zone. He likes the adult interaction, and we get along really well. I've even made him dinner to take home a few times. I have that kind of relationship with most of my families. I like that we are on friendly terms. At pay time nearly all of my families have paid me MORE than what is owed to me because they want to give me a little tip.

[nannyde]

Like I said, most of my families are military families. A lot of the time their spouses are deployed for long periods of time. The dad I was talking about is dual military family. He works incredibly long hours, all the time, and his wife is on a 7 month deployment to a war zone. He likes the adult interaction, and we get along really well. I've even made him dinner to take home a few times. I have that kind of relationship with most of my families. I like that we are on friendly terms. At pay time nearly all of my families have paid me MORE than what is owed to me because they want to give me a little tip.

See I would think that a parent that works really long hours and is flying solo as a parent would want to use his precious few hours of awake time with his child being WITH his child alone. He would be the last parent I would allow to stay in my home with his child, knowing how little time he has alone with his kid. Kids NEED to be with their PARENTS and they NEED time to be HOME.

From what I'm reading in your other posts on the other thread about your openess with breastfeeding your baby and toddler at the same time when strangers are in your house....... It makes me wonder if that could be playing a part in his desire to hang out??

I have been on daycare boards for 15 years and have read the full archives of every board I have ran into. I've never heard of full breast out breastfeeding a providers own child during interviews. Not once in 15 years have I heard of that.

With your description of that and your description of his staying.. especially when he is SO pressed for non work time.. do you think it is possible that they are related to each other?

I hope you are safe and your kids are safe. I've been at this for a long while and have heard some really really scarry stories before where providers had Dad's that wanted to hang out and it turned out HORRIBLY. With that, your newness to home child care in your area, and your openess, I hope and pray he does not take advantage of your "openess".

I may vehemently disagree with your positions on these issues, but I am genuinely concerned putting all of these things together. Is your husband deployed too???

[Unregistered]

I guess because some of my home is strictly my family's area, and not for daycare, I would be a little bothered by this. I have no issue with parent's coming into my daycare areas but they really don't need to be in any other part of my house. I have a split level home, so you either go up or down when you come in so that makes it easy to confine pick ups and drop offs to my entryway. Nothing to hide, just unnecessary for them to look around.

[AfterSchoolMom]

I don't mind parents walking around the first floor of my house, because that's a "public" appropriate area. If they tried to go upstairs, where our bedrooms are, or if they started opening cabinets, that would be totally inappropriate!

I don't care for parents hanging around, either...mostly because it throws everyone out of whack, even older kids. I actually have the opposite problem, I have SA parents that want to sit in the driveway and honk and have their kids come out without touching base with me.

[youretooloud]

I wouldn't want a parent hanging around for 30-60 minutes. But, my other daycare parents wouldn't mind if I did have him or her there. My parents trust me, and they trust my judgement. Nobody here is in the witness protection program, nobody is in danger of being kidnapped or killed by strangers or anybody.

If I had a parent I wouldn't want in my house, I wouldn't have them as clients.

I keep half of my house private, because it's private... maybe the beds aren't made or something...but, what is over there is nobody's business. However, they are free to come in and mingle with the other kids, and listen to their endless stories "Hey David's mom... guess what?" They know all these kids, they care very much about every single one of these kids. The kids are better for knowing these parents and interacting with them.

If you don't allow them inside, how do they know if you are doing something wrong? How do they know you don't have too many kids, or are keeping them hidden in the basement?

We insult parents who drop their kids off to homes with 20 kids inside because they either didn't know there were too many kids, or they didn't care. How could they know if the parents are not allowed past the door?

[nannyde]

I wouldn't want a parent hanging around for 30-60 minutes. But, my other daycare parents wouldn't mind if I did have him or her there. My parents trust me, and they trust my judgement. Nobody here is in the witness protection program, nobody is in danger of being kidnapped or killed by strangers or anybody.

If I had a parent I wouldn't want in my house, I wouldn't have them as clients.

I keep half of my house private, because it's private... maybe the beds aren't made or something...but, what is over there is nobody's business. However, they are free to come in and mingle with the other kids, and listen to their endless stories "Hey David's mom... guess what?" They know all these kids, they care very much about every single one of these kids. The kids are better for knowing these parents and interacting with them.

If you don't allow them inside, how do they know if you are doing something wrong? How do they know you don't have too many kids, or are keeping them hidden in the basement?

We insult parents who drop their kids off to homes with 20 kids inside because they either didn't know there were too many kids, or they didn't care. How could they know if the parents are not allowed past the door?

I have four 100% compliance UNANNOUNCED inspections from 3 different inspectors in the last five years. I also have a perfectly clean RN license and current criminal, child abuse records check AND national fingerprinting for my RN license.

They can check my references with clients who have 8+ years of recent and current care.

I think that should be enough.

[melilley]

My daycare room is like Patches'-right when you open the front door, it's my living room. I have a baby gate that is in the doorway that leads to my hall or dining room. My parents are allowed to walk in without knocking-many times I am preparing breakfast in the morning and can't get right to the door. None, well all but 1 of my parents come in any farther than the playroom. In fact, they leave their shoes on and won't walk on the carpet so they stay right at the entryway and drop off or pick up their children there. I wouldn't care if they walked in and around anyways. We have a semi-open floor plan and I do use the rest of my house with the exception of my daughter's room (we have a ranch) and I only use my room for naps every once in a while (I do not allow them in my room. They do look at tours just because I do sometimes use it as a nap room and It's clean then..). I do have one mom who does occasionally sit in my living room and breast feeds her son before she goes, but I always ask if she wants to, it doesn't bother me and she will only do it if no one else is here (her preference).

[mom2many]

I have a very small 4'x4' tiled entry way that is totally open to my living room. Parents MUST come in, so they do not block the doorway and I have never had an issue with a parent "roaming" my home.

It would be nice to have a huge entryway to simply hand kids off, but my home daycare is not like this.

Several of my bedrooms are used for napping and parents have always been respectful of my home and do not venture down the hallway into them unless I invite them to do so.

All of my families get to know one another and no one has ever had any negative issues with any of the parents coming into my home to pick up their child.

I understand why people are cautious, but in almost 27 years I can say I have not had one single problem, whatsoever from allowing a parent to enter my home for pick or drop off.

Licensing can only do so much in their "random spot check inspections" and I feel the parents should have access daily to their child's environment to ensure that it's safe & clean and that it's consistent with the type of place they want them to be in.

Not long ago, I read about a home daycare having guns in the napping rooms and another where they had too many kids and had them stashed in back rooms napping in car seats...as a mom and now grama, this totally freaks me out! I always want parents to feel reassured and know what kind of atmosphere their child is in.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

This thread has given me many things to consider and think about, so thank you for sharing all of your perspectives.

[Lyss]

I have nothing to hide but I expect my parents to RESPECT my home and my privacy.

I have an open door policy and the parents are completely welcome to walk right in, all do, and the doors to any area I use for DC are always open. They daycare area is right as you enter so it's not often an issue, I don't show our private rooms/bedrooms/garage during interviews because the children are not allowed there.

If we are out back or playing in the extra playroom I have no problem with parents walking through the house to get to where we are (I put notes up if we're out back) and I also don't mind if parents need an extra diaper or something and grab it out of the storage area but I keep doors closed to our private rooms and if a parent was opening them I would address it immediately.

I also don't allow DCPs to hangout, not because I don't like them or care but because my family needs time as well!! I just say if they want to hangout they have to have background check. I know 2 of my parents would not be happy if they found out another parent was hanging out as they are very particular about other people around their children. I also should add that most of my parents don't know on another, they all have different drop off and pick up times so even though they are picking up within 20 mins of each other they rarely cross paths.

[Meeko]

I used to have an "open" home. I am a friendly person and was happy for parents to come and hang out, wander around etc.

I used to have a dad who came and hung out here. Clean cut, well-spoken, friendly, polite.......and oh.....just happened to be convicted child rapist.

I had no idea until one day I started to run checks on my clients after being encouraged to do so at a state training class. Mr. Nice was a monster in disguise. Even his wife didn't know about his past. He kept the fact he was a registered sex offender hidden from her. His daughter spilled the beans to my son and I one day and we called the authorities. He is now in prison for abusing her too.

I will NEVER allow daycare parents to hang out in my home again. They see it all at interview. They can call licensing at any time and check my record. Licensing come twice a year. USDA come 4 times a year. They always find a perfect home.

If a parent doesn't trust me, then they need to go elsewhere.

[nannyde]

Licensing can only do so much in their "random spot check inspections" and I feel the parents should have access daily to their child's environment to ensure that it's safe & clean and that it's consistent with the type of place they want them to be in.

I don't know how licensing inspections are where you are but here they are very in depth. They are even MORE in depth if the hours roll by and they don't find any violations. It takes a long while before they surrender and walk away from the inspection.

Two of the three inspectors I've had have twenty plus years of experience inspecting in my county. They know more in five minutes than a parent would know in five years. They are trained to inspect and they are trained to know which providers are hiding stuff and which ones are putting there best foot forward every day to comply.

A parent with a couple of weeks or month of experience parenting doesn't have a CLUE of the licensing regulations. They think about THEIR child and what THEY get when their kid is on your clock. That's what they are after and they should be.

They can't possibly understand the magnitude of over 500 points of compliance in 12 pages of regulations. They don't even really GET it when you tell them you got a 100 percent. I wish they really KNEW how crazy difficult that is to do once much less four times in a row unnanounced.

Two inspections ago the DHS would send a copy of the twelve page (both sided) compliance check to the provider. I showed the parents what I received back from them to show I had met every single one. I have AWESOME smart wonderful parents and not a one of them sat and read thru the twelve pages. They just want the bottom line... did you pass?