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I mentioned before about a nasty divorce going on here with two of my kids (sisters). It is just getting worse. MY opinion is that mom is just plain about the most spiteful person I have ever set eyes on and dad is about as short tempered and stupid as they come! Dad tells me nothing which I really appreciate but Mom....mom tells me every single thing that happens every minute of the day! OMGoosh I am just over it!
Here is todays event (which started yesterday)......Yesterday is the end of dads over night stay day(s). He comes back home in the morning so the girls can see mom before school and mom is in bed with a man (Mind you they have only been separated for three weeks!
) She refuses to answer the door. Leaves the girls standing outside. At this point the smart thing to do would have been to bring them here. He doesn't. He opens a window and put the girls in the house then drives over here and leaves the school age childs school bag here. Mom follows behind and drops off two screaming and crying children and is irritated that she has to drop off and leaves. I now have to put the school age child crying on the bus and it about breaks my heart and then deal with the other crying child! A complete mess.
So mom is getting back at him. She gets a restraint order. Tells the judge he put the children at risk and now DYFS is getting called in too! Awesome!
My husband seems to think I will get called into the middle of this cause mom seems to think I am her best friend or something!!
Today at pick up, she arrives on the dot and sits down to 'chat' about all this and tell me about the restraint. So now we are going into after hours already. Then dad shows. He hasn't been served yet. Doesn't know about the restraint. She goes out and tells him as she is calling the police at the same time. He kisses the girls and leaves and goes home to get things and drives off (BTW they live like 5 houses away so I see what is going on) She leaves for home after he drives out of the development so she can meet up with the police......and leaves both children here. The police leave about an hour after my closing. She doesn't show for another 25 minutes. She now is a total of an hour and 25 minutes 'late' after my closing time. The girls are still here. My kids are starving and whining. We end up eating McDonalds at 7pm after I had texted mom and called to see why she wasn't there. That I saw the cruiser leave almost a half hour ago. This is NOT the first time she has done this!
My question is....
#1 I don't think this involves me and I doubt the courts care one way or the other my opinion. True? Or do you think I might?
#2 If DYFS knocks on my door, am I within my rights to say "Sorry, not in the middle" and close the door? I know that unless it is court ordered, I don't have to say or do anything.
#3 Silly question....you would charge for the hour and half late pick up? Half of me feels bad for the girls but......this isn't my 1st issue with her and late pick ups but she always has 'excuses' (like showing up an hour and half late because she got a new car and it took longer than she thought!)
#4 She tells me the grandmom (dads mother) can't pick up. She isn't on the restraint. I tell her I believe I cannot tell her no. She says I have too. When I said I would have to check into it because it isn't legally documented on the restraint and I would have to call me lawyer she says "Oh oh yeah, she can pick up. Just she can't take the girls to him". Grandmom is on the pick up list BTW. The one MOM just refilled back out and handed to me today. Mom only has temp custody till next Thur. If Grandmom shows.....I can let them go? Yes? Or no?
I know I can say this doesn't involve me but the truth is, it does and is. HOW much is the question. Where can I draw the line in this mess?
Here is todays event (which started yesterday)......Yesterday is the end of dads over night stay day(s). He comes back home in the morning so the girls can see mom before school and mom is in bed with a man (Mind you they have only been separated for three weeks!
) She refuses to answer the door. Leaves the girls standing outside. At this point the smart thing to do would have been to bring them here. He doesn't. He opens a window and put the girls in the house then drives over here and leaves the school age childs school bag here. Mom follows behind and drops off two screaming and crying children and is irritated that she has to drop off and leaves. I now have to put the school age child crying on the bus and it about breaks my heart and then deal with the other crying child! A complete mess.So mom is getting back at him. She gets a restraint order. Tells the judge he put the children at risk and now DYFS is getting called in too! Awesome!
My husband seems to think I will get called into the middle of this cause mom seems to think I am her best friend or something!!
Today at pick up, she arrives on the dot and sits down to 'chat' about all this and tell me about the restraint. So now we are going into after hours already. Then dad shows. He hasn't been served yet. Doesn't know about the restraint. She goes out and tells him as she is calling the police at the same time. He kisses the girls and leaves and goes home to get things and drives off (BTW they live like 5 houses away so I see what is going on) She leaves for home after he drives out of the development so she can meet up with the police......and leaves both children here. The police leave about an hour after my closing. She doesn't show for another 25 minutes. She now is a total of an hour and 25 minutes 'late' after my closing time. The girls are still here. My kids are starving and whining. We end up eating McDonalds at 7pm after I had texted mom and called to see why she wasn't there. That I saw the cruiser leave almost a half hour ago. This is NOT the first time she has done this!
My question is....
#1 I don't think this involves me and I doubt the courts care one way or the other my opinion. True? Or do you think I might?
#2 If DYFS knocks on my door, am I within my rights to say "Sorry, not in the middle" and close the door? I know that unless it is court ordered, I don't have to say or do anything.
#3 Silly question....you would charge for the hour and half late pick up? Half of me feels bad for the girls but......this isn't my 1st issue with her and late pick ups but she always has 'excuses' (like showing up an hour and half late because she got a new car and it took longer than she thought!)
#4 She tells me the grandmom (dads mother) can't pick up. She isn't on the restraint. I tell her I believe I cannot tell her no. She says I have too. When I said I would have to check into it because it isn't legally documented on the restraint and I would have to call me lawyer she says "Oh oh yeah, she can pick up. Just she can't take the girls to him". Grandmom is on the pick up list BTW. The one MOM just refilled back out and handed to me today.
Mom only has temp custody till next Thur. If Grandmom shows.....I can let them go? Yes? Or no?I know I can say this doesn't involve me but the truth is, it does and is. HOW much is the question. Where can I draw the line in this mess?
:
: will wait
Yeah. Although it wouldn't surprise me if there was some word exchange at some point. Dad is a hot head. And she greatly enjoys pushing those buttons. I am sure the situation didn't go over well. The restraint says he put them in danger instead of dropping them off here.
.....who works for DYFS. She actually heads the county department (bless her soul). I asked her what would happen, if I would get ****ed in and what I could do. She said that if the courts feel that the children are at risk they are likely to contact me. She isn't sure if it will be a visit or phone or writing. Said it varies on the situation. She did say it might be held off till after the hearing next week to see if DYFS would even need to be called in since there was no physical violence that warranted the restraint order. So they might wait and see what the courts say next week. But in the end they will be called in more likely than not. Yea!
So she said I can tell them and answer the questions or I can simply say that I do not feel there is an issue in regard to the children's welfare and I feel it is a basic nasty divorce and that I wish to remain a neutral party. She did say that if I make a statement and the children are removed from one parent to another and there is a nasty custody battle, my statements will be noted in a file that either can view. NOT going there. If I truly believed there was an issue...in a second. But I think the parents are just being stupid and immature. I think mom thought it would be a great move back at him and it opened a Pandora's Box she wasn't expecting. So I am unsure which direction I am going to go.
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