In tears...at wits end.

[countrymom]

sadly I think your making their problems now your problems. You said that they have alot of their plate. That doesn't matter, there is no excuse in the world for have a child that is throwing things and hitting adults. don't be afraid to call the parents and tell them to come and pick up the kid, you can't save them all and if the parents are giving you excuses well you know what to do. And don't worry you will be fine. Give them one months notice and sock away all the money that this family gives you. That should give you something till the new family starts.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Thanks for all of the support. My own child (now grown) has Aspergers and his behaviors are very similar. I have the skills, but it is very time consuming and also wearing on the other kids. It is also hard to stay motivated if you feel there is no hope in sight. The center where he was evaluated does not specialize in Autism, so I am not surprised that they are not seeing it. It is also hard to evaluate a child in a solo situation. My own child is technically a genius, but can't navigate day to day social situations.

My house is used for daycare both upstairs and downstairs. I do have to limit the types of toys that are kept upstairs not only because of the other kids possibly being injured, but I have nicer furnishings, a big screen TV and lots of windows that could be broken.

I thought I could work with this child, but if the parents are not going to get more than speech and OT help for him, I am not sure I can. There is a chance that the speech people from our school district will see more. I believe they are going to come into my daycare and evaluate him. I can only hope he moves into some kind of services at age 3 and he can get some consistent help and I can get a break.

I may have to consider looking for other kids, if there is not any hope for improvement. :-(

I had a child that I called a conference about and asked that he be evaluated. He was, and they also said "just speech." That is, until the speech language pathologist began working with him and she said he needed to be re-evaluated. The people wanted to come observe him HERE, which I highly suggest attempting in the future if you can with your DCK! After observing him here and making notes, he was diagnosed with Autism that week. They said their observations done in the child's home came back as "normal" but seeing him here in a school environment was completely different. The hand flapping, jumping up and down constantly, hyperfixating on certain things, not carrying on actual conversations, etc.

[Heidi]

I really think you need to sit down with the parents again, and tell them he needs to be observed again IN YOUR PROGRAM.

Reiterate that you really, really want to help him, but you don't have the tools you need because you don't even know what you're dealing with-but it's SOMETHING.

If they balk, then give them notice. You cannot help this child without support.

:hug::hug::hug:

[rmc20021]

I read your post and then looked to see where you're located because that described a dcb I had and I thought maybe you had been the one who had gotten him...he was horrible and my daily life was miserable, not just during daycare hours but afterwards as well because he had stressed me out so much throughout the day. And his parents ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS made excuses for him...yet their nickname for him was 'monster'. I tried for 9 months with him and wouldn't take him back now for anything.

I also had a very similar (4 yo) boy who I did foster care for...put him into time out and he would destroy the area, broke chairs by throwing them and scream bloody murder. I ended up letting him go as much as I hated to because once you make a commitment to a foster child, the worst thing you can do is remove them...but I had no other choice.

The final straw was one day when he was lying in the floor kicking his 5 yo brother between the legs. I picked him up and sat him at my feet. He turned around and started pounding me with his fists so I took hold of his hands so he couldn't hit me and he then bit me on the leg...drew blood.

There's a lot of reasons why young children act out in that manner...could be autism, could be ADHD, could be lack of discipline and empathy (getting away with it at home)...just so hard to tell.

BUT...I wouldn't put up with it another day if it was me. You have to consider the other kids and although you need the money, you have to think about what would happen if some of your other families leave because of this child's aggressive behaviors. I'd much rather be left with the better behaved kids than the one who's not, because it's going to happen sooner or later...at least you would have some control over which kids you're left with if you termed him, rather than have the other families leave because of him.