Vent: My Turn To Feel A Little Guilty For Insisting On Payments

[My3cents]

Thank you ladies, I really do appreciate it. And yes I'm feeling guilty but lately I've been questioning my decisions and emotions and second-guessing myself. It's hard for me to figure out if it's the pregnancy hormones or the "real" me talking KWIM.

I'm happy to hear that I didn't go overboard. I was thinking about it further and I suppose too that I wasn't at all really feeling too motivated to be super nice about it (before she responded to today's text) because he is only here 2 days a week. One of my other DCK's had a schedule change which, if I didn't have this 4mo, I could now advertise for another FT kid. I figured, well if I'm upfront and she gets mad or feisty and decides she doesn't like paying for days he isn't here she can give her 2 weeks notice which she has already paid her deposit for and I can fill his spot with a FT kid. If she stays then that's ok too.

Then I got her text and felt guilty and selfish . The initial emotion was probably the "real" me and the guilty/selfish person was probably this dang "pregnancy" me ::. Thanks again for letting me vent and hearing me out. It cheered me up

I have read several of your posting and know that you know better then this and you were right all along. We all get caught up in this stinking thinking from time to time, where we second guess ourselves, over what we know. It's the "care" in us. I know that you know you did the right thing and are just caught up in this mentally. BECAUSE- if it was anyone else here that posted this, you would be strong on the point of you earned your money and you should not have to chase it- Some times we get ****ed into other peoples issues and we have to strongly remember we are a business, and have our own needs that should be put to the front.

Congrats on the pregnancy- I scattered brained this one- When are you due?

Best-

[intothewoods]

I totlly understand this.

I let personal feelings get in the way too much with my families and as a result I have been taken advantage of many times.
I feel for the parent but everyone is right we have to remember even though we are super caring people and want to make everything right for all our families bottom line is that we do still run a business and we have to remember to take care of ourselves and our families first.

[ashleyh]

I'm coming in a little late here but think you did the right thing. While my heart goes to families going through a difficult time payments are still due so you can ensure a seamless child care for their child when they return.

Congrats on the pregnancy!

[mamac]

I've read all the posts and although I agree that what was said wasn't wrong, I think it could have been handled a little differently. I'm only giving my opinion and I don't mean to insult anyone. It's just a different point of view.

Although I realize that her payment was due on Wednesday and you sent out the invoice, which notifies her via e-mail, or text, or whatever, I would have just waited until her next scheduled day to ask about the payment. To me, contacting her on her days off is really no different than her contacting you on the weekend, KWIM? Yes, I get that she didn't pay, but I've seen many people here that have the "no pay, no stay" rule. If she didn't have payment on Monday including late fees, then she doesn't have child care.

If your cable company sends out a bill, they don't call you the next day asking where your payment is. I realize that we are all small business owners and every penny means more to us than it does to a large company but I still would have waited.

You were every nice for waiving the late fee up front, which seems to me you weren't too concerned with her completely bailing on you on not returning to care and stiffing you the money owed, so I would have just waited it out and confronted her on her business time Monday morning.

At the very least, if I was really concerned that payment would be an issue, then I would have phoned her and talked to her. This is probably me being "anti-text", but I just think it's so impersonal. Plus you wouldn't have had the awkwardness of the last text.

Again, just my two cents on the issue.

[MarinaVanessa]

I know that you know you did the right thing and are just caught up in this mentally. BECAUSE- if it was anyone else here that posted this, you would be strong on the point of you earned your money and you should not have to chase it-

Yep you absolutely hit it on the marker. The prego hormones have me all up in a loop that I sometimes have to stop and think about whether or not I'm overreacting.

True story ... the other day I was making pancakes (I really really wanted pancakes) and had just put in the first scoop of batter. When it was ready I scooped it out with a spatula and before I could get my pancake onto a plate I dropped it on the floor. I immediately burst into tears. My DH came in very worried (It's not like me to cry and he heard me from the living room) to see what was wrong. I told him and he stayed quiet (bless his heart) and looked back and forth from me to the almost full mixing bowl of batter sitting on the counter and then offered to make the pancakes for me. I could have made 3 dozen more pancakes but at that moment I was devastated that I had dropped my pancake . So yeah, I sometimes need a reality check.

And thanks to the ladies who congratulated me. I'm due the first week of August. And I was wrong, it's not a girl ... it's a boy ::.

I've read all the posts and although I agree that what was said wasn't wrong, I think it could have been handled a little differently. I'm only giving my opinion and I don't mean to insult anyone. It's just a different point of view.

Although I realize that her payment was due on Wednesday and you sent out the invoice, which notifies her via e-mail, or text, or whatever, I would have just waited until her next scheduled day to ask about the payment. To me, contacting her on her days off is really no different than her contacting you on the weekend, KWIM? Yes, I get that she didn't pay, but I've seen many people here that have the "no pay, no stay" rule. If she didn't have payment on Monday including late fees, then she doesn't have child care.

If your cable company sends out a bill, they don't call you the next day asking where your payment is. I realize that we are all small business owners and every penny means more to us than it does to a large company but I still would have waited.

You were every nice for waiving the late fee up front, which seems to me you weren't too concerned with her completely bailing on you on not returning to care and stiffing you the money owed, so I would have just waited it out and confronted her on her business time Monday morning.

At the very least, if I was really concerned that payment would be an issue, then I would have phoned her and talked to her. This is probably me being "anti-text", but I just think it's so impersonal. Plus you wouldn't have had the awkwardness of the last text.

Again, just my two cents on the issue.

A few things here ..

I was not insulted at all and took none of it to heart ... if you had been a pancake and I had dropped then it might have been a different story but I didn't find anything wrong with anything that you said.

I contacted DCM on Thursday because I didn't want her rate to almost double from late payment fees. I did it as a courtesy and as far as not contacting her on an off-day ... I allow my clients to contact me on evenings and weekends, they may not get a response from me but I allow it. I also wanted written record of proof that I had discussed this issue with her previously just in case she did decide to leave suddenly and then asked me for a refund in her fees or deposit. In case she later became upset and decided to try to call licensing and report me or take me to small claims court I needed proof that we did in fact talk about it already and that I had clearly explained myself.

And you are right, I was not completely afraid of her leaving me abruptly because she payed me a deposit that is equal to 2 weeks of daycare and she had already paid for last week in advance. If she left she (in essence) was paid up in advance until March 8th.


And the only reason why I allow text (and emails for that matter) is because it leaves me with written records instead of just a verbal "he-said-she-said". I use google voice which is really just a telephone number that forwards your calls to any phone number(s) you want and that includes text. It's easy enough for me to log in online and print our entire conversation vs having to go through my phone company for text and call records in case the poo-poo hit the fan and I found myself in court . Really I do it for my peace of mind and for the ease of it.

But see where you are coming from and not feeling slighted in the least

[mamac]

I was not insulted at all and took none of it to heart ... if you had been a pancake and I had dropped then it might have been a different story but I didn't find anything wrong with anything that you said.

Hahaha! You're funny. I actually skipped over your response to My3cents so when I read the part about me being a pancake I thought you had completely lost it! LOL. :: I still feel weird commenting on a lot of these threads since I'm pretty new here with virtually no experience.

And the only reason why I allow text (and emails for that matter) is because it leaves me with written records instead of just a verbal "he-said-she-said". I use google voice which is really just a telephone number that forwards your calls to any phone number(s) you want and that includes text. It's easy enough for me to log in online and print our entire conversation vs having to go through my phone company for text and call records in case the poo-poo hit the fan and I found myself in court . Really I do it for my peace of mind and for the ease of it.

But see where you are coming from and not feeling slighted in the least

Now I've learned something new. I never knew about google voice but I'm definitely going to look into that when I open my daycare. I'm slowly entering the world of technology so most of this stuff is fairly new to me, but it's nice to know what's actually out there that would be useful to running a business. I kind of forgot about leaving a paper trail to CYA. That does make a lot more sense than just waiting until Monday to go over her breach of your policies. (Note to self.)

[MarinaVanessa]

Hahaha! You're funny. I actually skipped over your response to My3cents so when I read the part about me being a pancake I thought you had completely lost it! LOL. :: I still feel weird commenting on a lot of these threads since I'm pretty new here with virtually no experience.




Now I've learned something new. I never knew about google voice but I'm definitely going to look into that when I open my daycare. I'm slowly entering the world of technology so most of this stuff is fairly new to me, but it's nice to know what's actually out there that would be useful to running a business. I kind of forgot about leaving a paper trail to CYA. That does make a lot more sense than just waiting until Monday to go over her breach of your policies. (Note to self.)

And that is why I LOVE LOVE LOVE this forum. You get tons of ideas, suggestions, information and opinions FOR FREE!!! I live in this forum ::