I Should Have Termed A Long Time Ago :(

[williams2008]

12 hour days are just insane. please stop doing this to yourself and let these twins go.

for me, its against my values as a parent to provide care for so long for other kids of any age. I just dont feel it is appropriate for children to be away from both parents for all of their waking hours. now is the time to just change your hours for yourself and for these kids. maybe the parents will find someone else to do 12 hour days but at least it wont be you.

I really want to stop doing 12 hours so bad, I'm just worn out by the end of the week. If I did change my hours I will still need to stay open until 6 becasue I have 2 other dck's that is here until then. I can afford to lose the twins, but I definitely can not afford to lose a total of 4 kids.

[williams2008]

Yeah, I wouldn't tell a lie about my hours changing. They'd probably find some way around it. Just tell them you can no longer meet their needs.

What if they ask, "What needs can I not meet"??? I have had them since they were 5 months old and now they are 20 months.

[Heidi]

What if they ask, "What needs can I not meet"??? I have had them since they were 5 months old and now they are 20 months.

I think that this is just a pretty way to take the blame. I would be a little more direct. After long and hard consideration, you've decided that you need to cut back hours and children. You love their little guys, but at this point, you've come to realize that's it's just a little too much with the twins in the group.

You might suggest that they find a place where the twins are part of a larger group of age mates (like a center), so that they can get some experience in a different dynamic.

The same thing that makes family childcare great-one caregiver with a small group-is what makes it especially challenging with sibling groups, especially twins. The children being in a classroom that has a larger group and two teachers (or two seperate classrooms) "dilutes" the dynamics a bit and gives the twins a chance to learn other choices.

I got a real lesson in this last year when 4/5 of my dc kids where from one family, and the youngest were a set of twins! A lot of the behaviors that you are describing is what I was seeing, too. I ended up terminating, mostly because the younger children were copying the older two's tantrums, hitting, etc. I just couldn't imagine 4 more years of that!

[williams2008]

I think that this is just a pretty way to take the blame. I would be a little more direct. After long and hard consideration, you've decided that you need to cut back hours and children. You love their little guys, but at this point, you've come to realize that's it's just a little too much with the twins in the group.

You might suggest that they find a place where the twins are part of a larger group of age mates (like a center), so that they can get some experience in a different dynamic.

The same thing that makes family childcare great-one caregiver with a small group-is what makes it especially challenging with sibling groups, especially twins. The children being in a classroom that has a larger group and two teachers (or two seperate classrooms) "dilutes" the dynamics a bit and gives the twins a chance to learn other choices.

I got a real lesson in this last year when 4/5 of my dc kids where from one family, and the youngest were a set of twins! A lot of the behaviors that you are describing is what I was seeing, too. I ended up terminating, mostly because the younger children were copying the older two's tantrums, hitting, etc. I just couldn't imagine 4 more years of that!

I think being direct as you stated is the best approach. They know it's to much for me, the mom always says " I don't see how you do it". They live at least 40 minutes from here and she said one of them screams the entire way home. I thought they would have grown out of the screaming by now:confused:

[Heidi]

I think being direct as you stated is the best approach. They know it's to much for me, the mom always says " I don't see how you do it". They live at least 40 minutes from here and she said one of them screams the entire way home. I thought they would have grown out of the screaming by now:confused:

Then that's another thing to add to your argument, if you need it. The long ride is obviously hard on the kid.

I am doing the math here: 12 hours at daycare, then 2 40-minute rides each day. Uhhhh! What a life for a little kid!

Be honest with them. Tell them that it's really hard to say this, but it IS too much for you, and honestly, you think it's too hard for the boys. I'd be blunt enough to say that maybe mom and dad need to sit down and figure out how they can be with them more. Honestly, they must all be exhausted. Now I feel just awful for the whole lot of 'em.

[williams2008]

Then that's another thing to add to your argument, if you need it. The long ride is obviously hard on the kid.

I am doing the math here: 12 hours at daycare, then 2 40-minute rides each day. Uhhhh! What a life for a little kid!

Be honest with them. Tell them that it's really hard to say this, but it IS too much for you, and honestly, you think it's too hard for the boys. I'd be blunt enough to say that maybe mom and dad need to sit down and figure out how they can be with them more. Honestly, they must all be exhausted. Now I feel just awful for the whole lot of 'em.

I think that may be the reason I have been holding on because they never get to see their parents. Now even on the parents off days, they go in and work overtime. I think it's so sad that they rather work then spend time with their kids.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

12 hour days are just insane. please stop doing this to yourself and let these twins go.

for me, its against my values as a parent to provide care for so long for other kids of any age. I just dont feel it is appropriate for children to be away from both parents for all of their waking hours. now is the time to just change your hours for yourself and for these kids. maybe the parents will find someone else to do 12 hour days but at least it wont be you.

I agree!!! happyface

I just changed my hours back to 8-5.

[williams2008]

8-5 would be lovely!!!

[daycarediva]

Term them! I had a kid here 6-6 and I changed to a max of 10 hours a day in my program and changed my hours JUST to get rid of ONE family.

AND Change your hours! Goodness, I did 12-14's for over 2 years and I could NOT BELIEVE the difference between opening at 6 and 7:30. It is WONDERFUL.

I am now open from 7:30-6. Some days I am able to close at 5:15! It has made me such a happier person in general.

Those poor boys, honestly 14+ hours a day devoted just to getting ready, going to daycare, being away from their parents, driving home. That's SAD!

[Crystal]

It is your business and your perogative to choose who will be a part of your program. You do not need to make excuses or justify yourself at all.

Frankly, you sound like this has seriously stressed you out and that you are extremely resentful of these children. I think you would be doing everyone a favor, the children, the parents and yourself, by terminating services. The sooner, the better.

[countrymom]

first change your hours. Notify all the parents.

second term these children. obviously there is a problem at home too because the children are there all the time. Its really not going to get better.

have you complained to the parents before about them and their behavior, if you have then they shouldn't be surprised. Let them know that you can't meet their needs anymore without the other kids suffuring. You have to look at the whole picture, if you didn't have any other kids then it wouldn't be a big deal, but when you have other kids, you need to see how the naughty behavior is effecting the other children.

I termed one because of this, and it was the best thing ever.