I Should Have Termed A Long Time Ago :(

[williams2008]

I have twins that are now 20 months old. I first started to care for them when they were 5 months. Today has made me realize that when I started to term them a few months after they started, I should have! They didn't do anything but scream then and that is all they do now, I literally hate to see them pull up in the driveway. Crying I can deal with, but these boys have a very high pitch scream that will give you a headache the entire day.

Anyway I hope everyone else day and week has been going great!

[EAP]

Sorry you are having that day dreading their arrival is a sure sign to let them go - not worth it.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Can you replace them?

[williams2008]

Can you replace them?

Yes I can, I've had at least 6 calls this week. I'm kind of stuck on what I will tell the parents my reason for terming them is. They are here from 6a-6p every single day, the parents used to keep them on their days off and that kind of made seeing them a little more bearable.

I thought about telling them that my hours are changing, wyt???

[williams2008]

Sorry you are having that day dreading their arrival is a sure sign to let them go - not worth it.

The sad part about it is that I know it's not worth it, but have continue to let it drive me nuts.

[Unregistered]

I had ONE that did that, so couldn't even imagine TWO...seemed every day I wrote a text to mom to let her know I could no longer care for him, but didn't have the guts to send it because I loved the family so much.
He never slept...just screamed. He never played...just screamed. followed me all over...and screamed. Couldn't get out of his sight...he'd scream.
Finally after 9 months (I had him from 9 months till he was 18 months), his mom said she was going to take him some place closer and I SCREAMED for joy. 3 days later, she called to see if I could take him back....NOPE!!!!
It doesn't get any better, as I'd hoped it would. There were just different phases of screaming he went through. And the entire daycare is so much more relaxed and at peace without him here. I'm SOOOOOOO much less stressed.

IT'S NOT WORTH IT!!!!!!

[Play Care]

I would tell them that while you have loved providing care for the children, you are no longer able to meet their needs and will be ending the care arrangment as of X date. You can even include the number for your child care resource and referral agency if you want. I'm sure the parents know the kids scream all the time (which is probably when they stopped keeping them home on days off )

I am comfortable with a fib (I loved caring for your kids ) but an outright lie (changing your hours) is something I am not comfortable with. What if they call you on it? Say they can change their hours? Then you are stuck. I always find that I always get caught in a lie, but fibs are harder to prove::

Good luck!

[williams2008]

I would tell them that while you have loved providing care for the children, you are no longer able to meet their needs and will be ending the care arrangment as of X date. You can even include the number for your child care resource and referral agency if you want. I'm sure the parents know the kids scream all the time (which is probably when they stopped keeping them home on days off )

I am comfortable with a fib (I loved caring for your kids ) but an outright lie (changing your hours) is something I am not comfortable with. What if they call you on it? Say they can change their hours? Then you are stuck. I always find that I always get caught in a lie, but fibs are harder to prove::

Good luck!

Thanks for the advice and I'm pretty sure that is why they stopped keeping them on their days off. I really would change my opening time. They are the only two that comes at 6.

[williams2008]

I had ONE that did that, so couldn't even imagine TWO...seemed every day I wrote a text to mom to let her know I could no longer care for him, but didn't have the guts to send it because I loved the family so much.
He never slept...just screamed. He never played...just screamed. followed me all over...and screamed. Couldn't get out of his sight...he'd scream.
Finally after 9 months (I had him from 9 months till he was 18 months), his mom said she was going to take him some place closer and I SCREAMED for joy. 3 days later, she called to see if I could take him back....NOPE!!!!
It doesn't get any better, as I'd hoped it would. There were just different phases of screaming he went through. And the entire daycare is so much more relaxed and at peace without him here. I'm SOOOOOOO much less stressed.

IT'S NOT WORTH IT!!!!!!

I can surely relate to this! I have written countless term notes and put them in the trash... Since the parents have stop keeping them on their off days, everyday for me has been a nightmare Parents can hear them outside coming to drop their kids off, and if they didn't know any better they would think I was in here harming them.

[coolconfidentme]

I have one baby & feel so blessed! He is 3 months old & a real joy. He loves watching the others play & he is the little mascot they can't touch. I do have a 3 yr old DCB who whines like a baby from time to time, .

[williams2008]

I have one baby & feel so blessed! He is 3 months old & a real joy. He loves watching the others play & he is the little mascot they can't touch. I do have a 3 yr old DCB who whines like a baby from time to time, .

You are soooo lucky to have a good baby!! Since I have been keeping the twins, I no longer keep babies anymore! Yep they taught me a lesson....

[Heidi]

How about if you just cut back your hours for real, then? 6-6 is such a long day!

If you didn't have these two, what would your hours be?

I don't think it's a coincidence that these kiddos are in DC 12 hours a day, 5 days a week, and they are already having behavior issues at 20 months.


Be prepared though, if you say you are cutting your hours, and the parents say "oh, no problem, we'll just do xx and xx to make that work". Then what?
Then you'll have to say..."well....I really didn't want to have to say this, but as much as I love these 2 rugrats, I think they are honestly just too much for me"

?????

[williams2008]

How about if you just cut back your hours for real, then? 6-6 is such a long day!

If you didn't have these two, what would your hours be?

I don't think it's a coincidence that these kiddos are in DC 12 hours a day, 5 days a week, and they are already having behavior issues at 20 months.


Be prepared though, if you say you are cutting your hours, and the parents say "oh, no problem, we'll just do xx and xx to make that work". Then what?
Then you'll have to say..."well....I really didn't want to have to say this, but as much as I love these 2 rugrats, I think they are honestly just too much for me"

?????

I really would change my hours. The twins I'm wanting to term are the only two that are here at 6am..... The rest of my kids don't show up until 7:30. I was thinking I could change my hours to 7:30-6:00, I would rather do 7:30-5:30 but I have 2 other kids that are here til 6p. Both parents work at the same job and work the same hours. The only option they have in changing their schedule is to work 6p-6a and I don't work those hours, or keep them themselves since they have different off days

[cheerfuldom]

12 hour days are just insane. please stop doing this to yourself and let these twins go.

for me, its against my values as a parent to provide care for so long for other kids of any age. I just dont feel it is appropriate for children to be away from both parents for all of their waking hours. now is the time to just change your hours for yourself and for these kids. maybe the parents will find someone else to do 12 hour days but at least it wont be you.

[kitykids3]

Yeah, I wouldn't tell a lie about my hours changing. They'd probably find some way around it. Just tell them you can no longer meet their needs.