To The Mother In The Store Yesterday

[Oneluckymom]

I can relate to the tantrums in the store. I have two a boy and girl. When they are together they are little devils, apart angels of course. As soon as one acted up they went straight into the cart...sometimes kicking and screaming. You do the crime...into the cart you go!

However, I ALWAYS correct the behavior right there. I don't care if the lady walking by me thinks im evil. I do it as civil as I can and I do not raise my voice but I'm firm and my kids know when they are being brats.

Now they're old enough to have a pep talk BEFORE we enter ANY store and I totally tell them that if they get out of control AT ALL there will be severe consequences.

[spud912]

My pet peeve is the great negotiation: A toddler or preschooler that is in and out of the cart 50 times in the course of a shopping trip. Either they're in, and stay in, or they're old enough to walk and listen.

My younger dd is like that...in, out, in, out, in, out, in, out (you get the idea). I told my husband that I HATE shopping with her! On top of shopping cart attention deficit, she annoys me to no end. She screams bloody murder when I put her in the top with the seat belt so sometimes I give in and allow her to SIT in the cart portion. If she attempts to stand once, she's either out or buckled in to the seat portion. The whole time she's in the cart, though, she's trying to open everything and sit or stand on items (including produce). Then if I let her walk, she literally runs around in front of everyone trying to walk and push their carts. People trip over her constantly because she is absolutely incapable of walking in a straight line. When she is not running in front of everyone else, she is trying to climb on my cart....up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down. I nearly run her over 10 times in a matter of 5 minutes! I usually end up putting her in the seat part of the cart, buckling her in and letting her scream while we are there. I have to shop and there is really no way around it. I guess I just get to the point where I think "well, we are at Wal-Mart so at least we fit in with all the other families with crazy kids !"

[Michelle]

so, you live close to Honey BooBoo?

[mema]

When mine were 2 and 5, ds threw a huge tantrum at the store. We were just waiting in line at the check out and he lost it. I couldn't take it. I had been so stressed with dh being deployed and hadn't heard from him in a few weeks and working 45+ hours per week and dealing with the kids, that we left. I knew if we stayed, I may have lost it and yelled really loud and possibly threw something against the wall. Thankfully we did still have a few days of groceries at home, but boy did he learn that it's not fun to go to the store twice in one week. When we went back a few days later, he was the best behaved kid and even helped put things in the cart!

[Heidi]

My younger dd is like that...in, out, in, out, in, out, in, out (you get the idea). I told my husband that I HATE shopping with her! On top of shopping cart attention deficit, she annoys me to no end. She screams bloody murder when I put her in the top with the seat belt so sometimes I give in and allow her to SIT in the cart portion. If she attempts to stand once, she's either out or buckled in to the seat portion. The whole time she's in the cart, though, she's trying to open everything and sit or stand on items (including produce). Then if I let her walk, she literally runs around in front of everyone trying to walk and push their carts. People trip over her constantly because she is absolutely incapable of walking in a straight line. When she is not running in front of everyone else, she is trying to climb on my cart....up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down. I nearly run her over 10 times in a matter of 5 minutes! I usually end up putting her in the seat part of the cart, buckling her in and letting her scream while we are there. I have to shop and there is really no way around it. I guess I just get to the point where I think "well, we are at Wal-Mart so at least we fit in with all the other families with crazy kids !"

Lol...spud, YOU are my pet peeve! ::::

See, much like the whole co-sleeping thing, I just never negotiated. ONce you start something...you know. Being in the store meant being in the cart...period.

We did start a tradition at Walmart with child #1. First thing in, we went to the toy aisle and picked out one thing to play with. Rules were no opening the box, using gentle hands. Then, they had something to look at while I shopped.

Once shopping is done, they put it back. We NEVER buy the item, and if anything is damaged or any fits are thrown, then next time, no toy.

Have you thought about getting her a little back pack of toys or a mini-notebook and pencil that she can have in the store? It would be the special grocery shopping notebook. She MUST stay in the cart, buckled in. Then, you can have her draw you a picture of tomatoes, or something in your cart. You can also give her a bunch of "coupons" and she can see if she can find the items. Maybe a few distractions to help her like that?

[countrymom]

I can relate to the tantrums in the store. I have two a boy and girl. When they are together they are little devils, apart angels of course. As soon as one acted up they went straight into the cart...sometimes kicking and screaming. You do the crime...into the cart you go!

However, I ALWAYS correct the behavior right there. I don't care if the lady walking by me thinks im evil. I do it as civil as I can and I do not raise my voice but I'm firm and my kids know when they are being brats.

Now they're old enough to have a pep talk BEFORE we enter ANY store and I totally tell them that if they get out of control AT ALL there will be severe consequences.

I thought I was the only mom who did this. I'm telling you it makes my life easier.

you know what was funny, my odd loves to sing (and sings really well) well this store always plays her type of music so she always sings in the store (I so need to video tape) well yesterday odd and mdd decided to brake out in dance (all that money I spend on dance lessons and they do it in a store) there was no one in the aisles but they break out in this crazy flash mob. So mdd says to me "well mom, in your book you forgot to tell us that we couldn't dance in the store" omg I just about died, at least I know they listen. So now I will have to tell them no more flash mobs in stores.::

[AfterSchoolMom]

I have a friend who does the ignoring thing. Totally tunes the kids out in public if she's talking to someone. They scream, shout, throw things, bang on stuff, climb on things, and nothing is said until it escalates to a point that is ridiculous. Drives me BATTY. They're younger kids (there are four of them) and are not learning how to behave correctly at all. I usually end up doing the correcting myself.

[Kaddidle Care]

My younger dd is like that...in, out, in, out, in, out, in, out (you get the idea). I told my husband that I HATE shopping with her! On top of shopping cart attention deficit, she annoys me to no end. She screams bloody murder when I put her in the top with the seat belt so sometimes I give in and allow her to SIT in the cart portion. If she attempts to stand once, she's either out or buckled in to the seat portion. The whole time she's in the cart, though, she's trying to open everything and sit or stand on items (including produce). Then if I let her walk, she literally runs around in front of everyone trying to walk and push their carts. People trip over her constantly because she is absolutely incapable of walking in a straight line. When she is not running in front of everyone else, she is trying to climb on my cart....up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down. I nearly run her over 10 times in a matter of 5 minutes! I usually end up putting her in the seat part of the cart, buckling her in and letting her scream while we are there. I have to shop and there is really no way around it. I guess I just get to the point where I think "well, we are at Wal-Mart so at least we fit in with all the other families with crazy kids !"

Oh no! PLEASE do not make the other shoppers hear that or deal with tripping over her! Please tell me you are joking about this! You're going to get yourself kicked out of the store. Time to take control honey. She's still little and if life continues this way the teenage years are going to be hell for you.

The big part of the cart.. ewww! You're letting her sit where people put raw meat! ACK!

Call me a controlling fool but my boys sat buckled in the front until they couldn't fit in there anymore.

What I found worked well with mine was a special mini diaper bag filled with those little McDonald toys. It stays in the car and is only used for things like shopping as a special treat. The toys can be easily sanitized in the dishwasher in a bottle top basket. You can also play color, size and number games with your child. If she's good, let her pick out a special cereal or treat at the end of the shopping trip. Sometimes you have to dangle a carrot.

Best wishes.

[My3cents]

I have a friend who does the ignoring thing. Totally tunes the kids out in public if she's talking to someone. They scream, shout, throw things, bang on stuff, climb on things, and nothing is said until it escalates to a point that is ridiculous. Drives me BATTY. They're younger kids (there are four of them) and are not learning how to behave correctly at all. I usually end up doing the correcting myself.

I think a lot of us have parents that do this at pick time. They are good as gold until the parent comes in. UGH- I step in, if the parent doesn't. I don't care if they don't like it.

[My3cents]

Oh no! PLEASE do not make the other shoppers hear that or deal with tripping over her! Please tell me you are joking about this! You're going to get yourself kicked out of the store. Time to take control honey. She's still little and if life continues this way the teenage years are going to be hell for you.

The big part of the cart.. ewww! You're letting her sit where people put raw meat! ACK!

Call me a controlling fool but my boys sat buckled in the front until they couldn't fit in there anymore.

What I found worked well with mine was a special mini diaper bag filled with those little McDonald toys. It stays in the car and is only used for things like shopping as a special treat. The toys can be easily sanitized in the dishwasher in a bottle top basket. You can also play color, size and number games with your child. If she's good, let her pick out a special cereal or treat at the end of the shopping trip. Sometimes you have to dangle a carrot.

Best wishes.

This all the way

[My3cents]

My younger dd is like that...in, out, in, out, in, out, in, out (you get the idea). I told my husband that I HATE shopping with her! On top of shopping cart attention deficit, she annoys me to no end. She screams bloody murder when I put her in the top with the seat belt so sometimes I give in and allow her to SIT in the cart portion. If she attempts to stand once, she's either out or buckled in to the seat portion. The whole time she's in the cart, though, she's trying to open everything and sit or stand on items (including produce). Then if I let her walk, she literally runs around in front of everyone trying to walk and push their carts. People trip over her constantly because she is absolutely incapable of walking in a straight line. When she is not running in front of everyone else, she is trying to climb on my cart....up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down. I nearly run her over 10 times in a matter of 5 minutes! I usually end up putting her in the seat part of the cart, buckling her in and letting her scream while we are there. I have to shop and there is really no way around it. I guess I just get to the point where I think "well, we are at Wal-Mart so at least we fit in with all the other families with crazy kids !"

wow tell me this is a joke:confused:

and the post below this made me spill my water---::

[spud912]

:::: You all are silly, seriously. Yes, my dd has acted like that on occasion, she's a firecracker. I tend to over-exaggerate when I go into detail about what annoys me about my children . I will honestly say that she spends 99% of the time buckled in at the top of the cart with my grocery list and several choice items from my purse. The few times we attempt to see if she has the capacity to get out to walk or ride in the cart portion, she will mostly act ok and if she doesn't she ends back up in the seat (as I said in the original post). Yes, she screams at first, but she pipes down within a minute when she realizes I am not humoring her. It's that first little bit of screaming that really gets my face red with embarrassment.

Thank you for the productive suggestions, especially the poster who suggested getting an entertainment item at the beginning or a special bag of tricks!

For those of you who were quick to judge, I'm sure you've had at least one moment of "stellar" parenting at some point in your life. Maybe you're less apt to JOKE about it on an online forum. My point when I posted that was to sympathize with unruly children in the store and that we shouldn't be so quick to judge because we have ALL been in a "situation" in public with children .

:confused:::happyfacelovethis

[e.j.]

I can relate to the tantrums in the store. I have two a boy and girl. When they are together they are little devils, apart angels of course. As soon as one acted up they went straight into the cart...sometimes kicking and screaming. You do the crime...into the cart you go!

However, I ALWAYS correct the behavior right there. I don't care if the lady walking by me thinks im evil. I do it as civil as I can and I do not raise my voice but I'm firm and my kids know when they are being brats.

Now they're old enough to have a pep talk BEFORE we enter ANY store and I totally tell them that if they get out of control AT ALL there will be severe consequences.

My son had one tantrum in a dept. store when he was about 2. He had a special blanket that he slept with every night and while shopping, he noticed "Blankie's" twin. When the time came to put the blanket back on the shelf, he had a meltdown because he wanted to bring "him" home with us. We left the store immediately and sat in the car until he calmed down. We went back into the store at that point and finished our errand. After that, before we went anywhere, I would tell him (and my dd when she was old enough to understand) exactly what I expected from them in terms of behavior and I reminded them of what would happen if they misbehaved. I never had a problem after that one time. Maybe I just lucked out but honestly, I felt I could bring my kids anywhere in public and not be humiliated by their behavior.

It's really sad that a 12 and 8 year old would even think to behave the way those 2 girls were behaving. My kids would have been shocked, too.

[countrymom]

:::: You all are silly, seriously. Yes, my dd has acted like that on occasion, she's a firecracker. I tend to over-exaggerate when I go into detail about what annoys me about my children . I will honestly say that she spends 99% of the time buckled in at the top of the cart with my grocery list and several choice items from my purse. The few times we attempt to see if she has the capacity to get out to walk or ride in the cart portion, she will mostly act ok and if she doesn't she ends back up in the seat (as I said in the original post). Yes, she screams at first, but she pipes down within a minute when she realizes I am not humoring her. It's that first little bit of screaming that really gets my face red with embarrassment.

Thank you for the productive suggestions, especially the poster who suggested getting an entertainment item at the beginning or a special bag of tricks!

For those of you who were quick to judge, I'm sure you've had at least one moment of "stellar" parenting at some point in your life. Maybe you're less apt to JOKE about it on an online forum. My point when I posted that was to sympathize with unruly children in the store and that we shouldn't be so quick to judge because we have ALL been in a "situation" in public with children .

:confused:::happyfacelovethis

don't listen to those people. We have all been there when our kids are little. They like to test us and its part of their jobs. All my kids did the in out in out in out in out....of the shopping cart, drove me crazy too. this was mostly about older children who act out of control.

[spud912]

don't listen to those people. We have all been there when our kids are little. They like to test us and its part of their jobs. All my kids did the in out in out in out in out....of the shopping cart, drove me crazy too. this was mostly about older children who act out of control.

I wanted to post a better response earlier but was short on time.

Yes it is a learning curve with children. My dd does do all of those things I mentioned, but not once did I say I just sit there idly and let it happen. Most good parents will magnify every misbehavior from their children and feel as if they are in the spotlight. To the contrary, any passerby will say that the children are acting completely age-appropriate. In the OP's case, I believe the problem was with the fact that the mom was oblivious or purposely ignored the poor behavior from her OLDER children. It probably stems from many years of ignorance and lack of discipline.

It's all a learning curve and nobody can say that their children started at 100% good behavior with every action unless their child is a real life robot. I want my children to behave in public too, but not at the expense of them not learning a new skill. I think it's very important for my barely-2 year old dd to learn how to walk normally through a store (as there are times we go in without a cart). Therefore, I find it extremely important to put her down and teach her how to walk in a normal line. That does mean that there will be plenty of hiccups along the way and many times when I have to discipline, take her out of the store or put put in the cart seat in order to put her back in line. Her misbehavior is completely normal for her age. My 3 year old had some issues when she was around the same age (2) and we managed to fine tune her shopping skills ::.

For every time they do sit well or use manners or walk nicely in a store, there were probably 10,000 other times that I had to sit them back up, remind them about manners or steer them in the right direction. I am not one to deny that the misbehavior never happened, though. I am a real person with real children.

This post takes me back to the time when I didn't have children and I went shopping. I would see the kids....the ones we all know of too well.....they are screaming in the store, demanding things, running around, etc. I admit that I judged those parents. In some cases, I'm sure the parents could have done something better. In most cases, however, it was children acting like children do when they are dragged to a store. It wasn't until I had children of my own that I realized it's not always peaches and cream and no matter what good intentions you carry, kids are going to misbehave. The important thing is to make every effort to mold them into good little citizens and eventually, most children will become well behaved. Some children or actions require more than one counter-action to correct the behavior, but at some point they will learn with enough consistency.