Tweet
It really scares me the number of providers saying to hide this and not report. A child was left alone for 30 minutes. In the heat, this kid could have died. If it was cold enough, they could have gotten frostbite. This is a serious mistake. It could have turned in to a life or death matter. How can you say it shouldn't be reported? If you are only interested in covering your own backside, you are not the best possible provider you can be. Also, all of these in home providers saying to hide it will just drive parents toward centers.
-
-
In my experience, the number one reason parents choose centers over home daycare is accountability. This is exactly why. I agree with PP that I am shocked -- and disgusted -- with everyone saying this isnt reportable.
If I was the parent of this kid, I would have reported it AND called the cops. This is gross neglect IMO.Comment
-
That's great to hear. Here we need to take a sheet of paper with all the kids in care for the day with us anywhere so we can do head counts. That might be a good idea in the future if you continue to do field trips. I would consider reporting it still with a plan of action to prevent it in the future. I will be worse if it comes out later and you didn't report it.Comment
-
The more I think about this the more I find it impossible to believe that six families were told a child was left alone in a car for 35 minutes and they were okay with it and consoled the provider... If this is true then these are the most naive, foolish parents I've ever heard of. I just can't believe it the more I think of it.
If I were told my child was forgotten in the car at all, especially such a long time, I would be beside myself, I would be furious and want to throw up. I guarantee my child would be pulled immediately, I would stay home from work if I had to, hire a temporary babysitter, but I would certainly never be able to trust the provider again. And if it weren't my kid, I would still think OMG that could have been my child! That is an ridiculous amount of time to not have noticed. And the provider never did notice, but was prompted by a child...
I also find it hard to believe and if true, appalling that no passers-by called 911. Was the park empty that day?
I find myself regretful that I initially thought this wasn't that big of a deal. Maybe because I was thinking it was only 5 minutes, but realizing it was much longer and hearing the discussion go on, I'm more and more upset about it. I wonder if the parents have just glossed over it and moved on, or if they're mulling it over too and thinking through it further...
I'm sorry OP, I know you are sincerely sorry that it happened, and I don't want to just be hurtful and kick you while you're down, but the more I think of it, the more I think about if it were my own child and I just seriously question the truthfulness in all of this.Comment
-
OP, you need to report this. There are so many reasons why but at this point you should know that the story is on Facebook, we are talking about it and surely the effected parents are discussing it. It's only a matter of time until it's reported.
I imagine the result is not going to be fun, you may have to close for a brief time, you may lose families. You could report it and just get written up and be required to come up with a field trip plan BUT I can assure you that whatever happens will be worse if you don't report it and your state licensor finds out through someone else.
I had a child who was bit once. It was one of my first daycare kids, was a baby and I was VERY upset when I told the parents. The parents acted like it was no big deal and said "these things happen" making me feel foolish that I was so upset. When they didn't come the next day I thought maybe they were just late until licensing showed up at my door in response to their complaint about the biting incident. It all ended up fine, and even today with all my experience I know I couldn't have handled the situation any better but I did learn that just because the parent acts fine doesn't mean that they aren't stewing on the inside. It's kind of like when we get a call saying the parent is going to be late and we say "that's fine" even though it's not.
I will share a story with you guys that I've only told a select few. I'm sharing it because I don't want you to feel like a horrible person. I had a toddler who was second shift but because of his mother's work schedule he had an odd sleep schedule and was often sleeping when we were eating dinner, I was giving bathes etc. He had been gone for a while due to days off and the holidays and my family and I decided to go out to eat instead of me cooking because I was exhausted. I got my kids coats and shoes on and hubby took them to the car as I ran to get my purse. I was half way out the door trying to figure out what I was forgetting and realized it was the daycare child who was sleeping in another room! I was half way out the door! My whole family was in the car and all of us forgot about the child!
What happened to you was horrible and could have ended badly for the child but you didn't do it on purpose. You didn't have ill intent. As providers a lot of us sometimes think we are superwomen. We will try to save and protect every child but most if not all of us have had an incident where we messed up in some way even if we have a hard time admitting it. Parent's mess up too, so do doctors, teachers.....it's how we handle our mistakes that defines us.Last edited by Blackcat31; 01-21-2013, 06:43 AM.Comment
-
but be prepared and if licesening show up. Because they are going to ask you the same questions that I was wondering too. I just can't over the fact that all the kids managed to unbuckle themselves but this one child and you forgot to unbuckle them, really did you leave the child in van because they were sleeping and didn't want to wake them up.Comment
-
Is this OP even for real or is this just a thread to get us all riled up?Last edited by Michael; 01-21-2013, 05:07 PM.Comment
-
I can't imagine why someone would post something like this if it weren't real.
Usually when something is posted just to get everyone riled up, the "unregistered" user posts the original post and then never responds or replies.
This OP has replied more than once.
I believe this OP is for real, although I do doubt the fact that any of her parents were "ok" with what happened, especially the parents of the child who was forgotten in the car.
This entire thread is making me nauseous.
the situation
some of the replies
the parents' reaction and "understanding" :confused:
the OP's willingness to sweep it under the rug
Ugh.Comment
-
I have to agree with some of the pp's - the parents may seem "okay" with it now, but chances are that as soon as they have time to process it, they will not be so understanding.
Years ago I put my oldest DD in a home dc. Something happened - nothing bad - but it wasn't until I got home that night that I actual go to think about the what ifs. I pulled my child the next day.
And I know the OP seems upset, but a half hour is a very long time to have no idea that you lost a child.Comment
-
I've been on daycare boards since 98 and the pattern I have seen emerge when something like this happens is the poster actually posts after the incident because they want help figuring out how to get out of it. They want possible scenarios to word things to minimize their accountability.I can't imagine why someone would post something like this if it weren't real.
Usually when something is posted just to get everyone riled up, the "unregistered" user posts the original post and then never responds or replies.
This OP has replied more than once.
I believe this OP is for real, although I do doubt the fact that any of her parents were "ok" with what happened, especially the parents of the child who was forgotten in the car.
This entire thread is making me nauseous.
the situation
some of the replies
the parents' reaction and "understanding" :confused:
the OP's willingness to sweep it under the rug
Ugh.
Some of the responses here offered that. Minimizing or defining a situation in actual provable terms is usually what the OP is about.
Because the stress is so high when something like this happens the person can't think clearly. They can't come up with a way to get out of it on their own. So they post annomously and guard dog the incoming posts until something sticks they can use.
The only thing I can think of that could be told to the parents that would make them be so cool about this is the time unnattended was different than it was. If a parent is told that the children were taken to the equipment and the provider realized because a kid said "where's susie" that she was one short then took the kids back to the car to get the kid then no harm no foul. If the incident happened in seconds then the parents would be cool about it.
The only thing that the provider is going to get caught in is if the older talking kids can recount the "looking for the child for five minutes" part and that could take days or weeks before they give their parents the details bit by bit. It may take a while before one of them say ONE thing that will make the parent know the story they were told wasn't quite what the kid is recounting. Depending up on how DRAMATIC the "look for five minutes" part was.... the higher the liklihood the parents are going to put it together.
If the provider minimized it or the stories don't line up in a week or two... it's gonna get ugly. If the provider left the remaining five unattended or took them along with her every step of the way during the "looking for the kid part"... the older kids are going to have specific memories of that that the provider doesn't even realize because she's not paying attention to THEIR experience.
If there were ANY other adults in or around the park it will definitely get out.
The provider should have come home immediately, secured the kids, called the State, and asked the parents to come get the kids. The State should have been the ones to decide if she could open the next day not the parents. When you go thru the trauma of making that big of a mistake you are the last person on earth who should decide what happens next. You need TIME to figure out what happened, work with the state to set up a plan, and let it play out the truth way.Comment
-
Honestly, I can't help but wonder if the OP was totally upfront with the parents or if she minimized the situation. It is hard to imagine a parent being OK with 30 minutes, but I can imagine a parent being understanding about 3 to 5 minutes. In fact, parents may feel warm and fuzzy about their provider who is so clearly upset about a very short lived mistake...
When the OP tells the parents she eliminates any issues with the kids telling Mom or Dad, they already know. It is unlikely that the kids are going to have enough understanding of time to contradict the providers story.
I doubt that there were any adults at the park since no one noticed a kid in the car or called 911 when the provider started searching...Comment
-
Well, this was in 1983. There weren't any rules like that back then. There wasn't even anywhere to report something like that. We barely had CPS at that time. We had the health dept who would come check on things like fridge temps and door locks, but otherwise, it was a free for all.
But, I obviously told the parents before the kids told. The parents didn't even get past the threshold before I told them.Comment
-
oh, I wasn't concerned about your incident.I just wanted to make sure the OP was aware that she
May still be required to report.She needs to check all sections of the regs because it may be further defined elsewhere. I should have been more specific, I was just giving the OP some additional info that might prompt her to report her incident. I am trying to remain very neutral here and just give her straight information so as not to stir up any drama
Comment
:
Comment