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Hi everyone, I'm new here (and almost 1 year as FCC provider)...and in need of some advice regarding almost 2 1/2 year old dcb. For the past 5 months, I've been taking dcb to the potty every hour. He will usually pee in the potty. He never tells me (or his parents) when he needs to go. I just take him around the clock as his parents do at home. He has been staying pretty dry, even through nap. He will not poop in the potty and just goes poop in his pulll up. Problem is that he is really resisting going to the potty and is now starting to cry when it's time to go. At home they use different tricks and things to coax him into going. This morning he didn't even want to come into my house and cried (which is very unlike him). I feel like I'm the mean daycare lady who makes him sit on the potty. His baby brother (6 months old) has been here with him for a month now. Maybe that has something do with it? Or just not ready for potty training? (btw, I can't stand the words potty training - I like to wait for kids to initiate before tackling the whole potty thing). I want to make potty an enjoyable experience for him. WWYD??
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Are you sure the parents really are training him that way? I've had my share of parents who SAY they are doing every X amount of time on the potty but really want YOU to potty train the child. They believe that if you do this every hour he will learn to potty at your house and then when you get him really into it THEN they start doing some of it at home.
I never use the technique you are using. I find it worthless. I don't want to end up with kids that can only hold an hour worth of pee and I don't want to be involved in training a kid who can't say "I have to go potty" BEFORE they have to go potty.
I know a lot of ladies here have success with this young of a child but my experience is that most boys are trained in the second quarter of the third year. Some do it earlier but most are able to train in a day or two at about this age.
I would stop doing the hourly thing and just have him sit on the pot during natural transition times when you already have a bare hiney. Pop him on the potty for a few minutes a few times a day and let the parents take after this at home.
A lot of parents want their kid to be trained but they don't want to do the work of training them. They use words to you as their "work" on potty training. They SAY stuff like "we are doing *** at home" but the actual DOING it is often left to the provider.
I don't play that. I know when kids are ready to train here. It's a simple process as long as the kid is ready. -
Thank you so much for your reply! I don't know why I agreed to do the hourly thing here in the first place....part of finding my backbone I suppose!
Now I have to figure out how to go backwards and suggest putting the training on hold until he seems more ready and can verbalize his need to go. I know if I suggest something like that they'll be mortified after all this "work".....but this "work" is getting the poor boy nowhere. UGH!
I do think they're trying at home and are probably wondering why I don't have answers for them as to why it's taking so long.....well maybe because he's NOT READY!
Thanks again.Comment
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I dont force it!
direct from my contract is below. I personally would leave him in his pull up or diaper until he was telling me he had to go . He isnt trained,.. his parents are.
~ I do not push to potty learn. I believe that a child will only learn when they are ready and no amount of coaxing is going to make it happen any easier. All children become ready to toilet learn at different ages but it is generally considered to wait until the child is at least 2 yrs of age, before that time he or she is not physically or emotionally prepared to control his or her bowel or bladder movements. Work with them first at night and on weekends. As they progress and experience success at home I will work with them during the day. Once everyone has decided the child is ready to toilet learn, the only time diapers should be used is at naps and bedtime. When your child is ready to toilet learn please dress them in easy to remove clothing. No Belts, zippers, snaps or buttons that your child can not manage alone. Elastic waistbands are the easiest for the child to control.Comment
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Love the language in your policies....will be adding it when I revise mine - thank you! My dcb is sweet, quiet, well-behaved and is just DONE with being forced to sit. Poor kiddo. He actually came here in UNDERWEAR two weeks ago (YIKES!!!)...I just about fell over. One puddle on my floor and I was like sorry, into a pullup you go. It's one thing if it's an accident...but he cannot say he has to go yet!!Comment
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I don't mind the early potty training, but I will not take them more often then I would change their diapers throughout the day anyway.
I have a boy who will be 2 this weekend. His mom has been wanting him potty trained for 6 months now. I agreed to set him on the potty if he didn't resist, after I change his diaper (so 3-4 times in a ten hour day). He does quite well and goes almost every time he is set on the potty. He is still wet in his pull-up when I change him usually. So if I took him every hour, maybe he would be "potty trained", but really I would be the one who was potty trained, right,
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And he won't go at all at home anymore either. Mom still asks every week how potty training is going though,. Great for me 
, but he'll still be in pull-ups another 6 months at least I would guess.
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Being forced to sit on the potty every hour may seem like punishment to a two year old. Maybe if you tell the parents that, they wont be quick to worry about all the "work" they have done. They dont want him thinking going potty is bad. right?
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And he won't go at all at home anymore either.I don't mind the early potty training, but I will not take them more often then I would change their diapers throughout the day anyway.
I have a boy who will be 2 this weekend. His mom has been wanting him potty trained for 6 months now. I agreed to set him on the potty if he didn't resist, after I change his diaper (so 3-4 times in a ten hour day). He does quite well and goes almost every time he is set on the potty. He is still wet in his pull-up when I change him usually. So if I took him every hour, maybe he would be "potty trained", but really I would be the one who was potty trained, right,?
And he won't go at all at home anymore either. Mom still asks every week how potty training is going though,. Great for me , but he'll still be in pull-ups another 6 months at least I would guess.
That's one of the main tell tell signs that the parents aren't doing anything at all.
I don't do pull ups for any extended time. Usually the last week of the two weeks I require them to be completely accident free (exccept for nap) before they go into underwear.
Pull ups are another way of the parents "doing" training without having to actually do anything other than buying the pullups.Comment
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LOL! Yes, exactly. I think I get a lot of parents who think they are potty training because they put them in pull ups. I had a boy come to me at 18 months in pull-ups and I don't think he officially trained until he was close to 4 years old. That was a loooong time buying pull-ups!Comment
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I used this with my OTHER dcg's parents this morning....she doesn't go at home anymore either (been in pulllups since 17 months and used to ask to go potty...now 24 months), and I let them know I am not taking her every hour anymore until she initiates. They looked a little surprised that I would say that but then they said, "oh, ok. sounds good."
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I once had a DCB from the age of 6 months to 20 months. The DCM was verbally abusive to me and I finally gave her 2 weeks notice to which she cussed at me for (right in front of her child, my child, and 2 DC kids!). I almost got a restaining order against her. We ended up in court because she refused to pay (because I refused to be her doormat anymore) and during mediation, she brought up the fact that her son was not potty trained and that it was all my fault. DCB had significant developmental delays: did not talk, did not cry (even if he fell and bumped his head really hard), did not show ANY sign that he even knew that his diaper was full, etc. He came from a home when dad had been an abusive alcoholic (per DCM and the copy of the restraining order she supplied me), who was only in his life sporadically and when it was convenient for dad. I tried to set DCB on the potty from time to time, but it was OBVIOUS he didn't have a clue what that contraption was for or why I was making him sit there for 2-3 minutes. And since DCM only told me that they were getting ready to start training, but never said anything more over the next 3 months, I dropped the training, thinking DCM must have figured out DCB wasn't ready. Oh, and when she mentioned that they were going to "start" training, she apologized that they were starting so late. He was 18 months old! How is that late? But some parents think that if their child hits a milestone earlier than other children, then it's proof of the child's genius. These types of pushy parents just don't get it that WHEN a child hits each milestone is completely irrelevant to how he or she will succeed in school, college, or adult life. And there's evidence that toilet training too early can actually DELAY training because it gives the potty a negative experience such as feeling like your being punished.
I'm worried about my DD because even though she communicates in many different ways, her speech is a little delayed (probably due to ear infections). She holds her nose when she has pooped. But she doesn't TELL me BEFORE she does anything. I would have LOVED to have her trained before the twins get here, but now I'm just giving up and waiting until after they get here because kids tend to regress in toilet training when there's a big change in their lives. And we are in the process of moving and will be having 2 new babies in approximately 3-4 months. But I am positive that it will not affect her ability to be an honor roll student in the future or get into a great college. I'm a reality parent, not a "blinded-by-my-own-ego" parent. Sorry for the new parent title, but I do think that toilet training before the CHILD is ready, is more about the parents' egos than what's best for the child, IMHO.Comment
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