Is It Worth Bringing Up?

[littlemissmuffet]

I guess I overlooked that angle, as I don't allow parents to make me feel guilty. BTDT already and am so past that.

You are right though MissMuffets, you do change once you have your own children but you don't get more accepting, you actually get less tolerant. (as far as DCP's shirking their responsibilities)

But my own children are grown and gone now and I am so done fighting the massive tidal wave of lazy, lying, irresponsible, self-centered and entitled children....eh um, I meant adults/parents.

LOL, oh no... if this is the case, my future daycare parents better beware... I'm already pretty strict and intolerant of BS. ::

I also don't let parents guilt me... I don't let anyone guilt me, for that matter - but when people TRY, it annoys the living hell out of me. I just wish more people in this world were accountable for their own lives instead of complaining and trying to make their issues other peoples. I am never above asking for help when I need it, and I need to vent just as much as the next person - but to try and make someone feel sorry for you (especilally about something that ended up not even being true) is just way out of line!

Whether or not this parent had paid time off or not should never even have been mentioned to the OP. She should have simply picked her child up and brought him home. I'd have preferred she kept him home to rest, but if she had to bring her child to work with her - fine - but DON'T dare get pissy with me because I let your exhaused/sick kid sleep at my house the next day because you were carting him around... you're lucky I didn't send him home again!!

[Blackcat31]

heres the thing...

I don't mind opening up for a family on a holiday if I have no plans. BUT what I do care about is if they lie to me...
THis mom has lied to me on several occasions I am sure, two that I have proof of. One memorial day and then just two weeks ago when she told me that she couldnt take any time off of work to stay home with her sick son.

The only thing that has not been addressed, is what she said to be today.....That she took today off of work to prep for thanksgiving and get her hair done...

I have not addressed it......and was asking if I should bring it up or not....

Hun, if that is really what is bothering you then why accept the child into care of you know mom has/had lied to you?

Again my message/advice hasn't changed. Look out for you. Do what YOU need to do to make your business work and whatever it takes to keep YOU happy.

Who cares what she thinks, says or does after the fact. If you want to call her out on her lying, then do so. I just don't want you to get hurt thinking that just because you let her know you are on to her that she will change.

She won't.

More than likely she will become angry at you and then who knows what crazy parents do now after they are called out for their bad behaviors/actions.

[Texasjeepgirl]

Bring what up?

The fact that she took a day off to prepare for the holiday but told you that she had no time off left for her child?

NOT your problem, nor is it your job to dictate to her how she uses or doesnt use her days off.

Your job is to enforce your contract and illness policy and to not accept her child until he is feeling well enough to participate. end of story.

I would never in a million years dream of telling a parent how and when they should use their days off. I am only concerned with the things that directly affect me and that is the bottom line.

Apparently she is only concerned with the things that affect her too so I guess that makes you even.

[daycare]

Hun, if that is really what is bothering you then why accept the child into care of you know mom has/had lied to you?

Again my message/advice hasn't changed. Look out for you. Do what YOU need to do to make your business work and whatever it takes to keep YOU happy.

Who cares what she thinks, says or does after the fact. If you want to call her out on her lying, then do so. I just don't want you to get hurt thinking that just because you let her know you are on to her that she will change.

She won't.

More than likely she will become angry at you and then who knows what crazy parents do now after they are called out for their bad behaviors/actions.

yes BC you are so right.... I know she will not change, I can guarantee that.... I think that by talking to you guys that I realize that this is more of a it's ME not you kind of thing.....

Yes, I am 100% sure she will flip her lid, but I honestly deep down inside hope that she does just so that i have reason to term her....

Or maybe she gets so mad she leaves on her own.

it is hard to still respect someone when they continue to lie to your face and no relationship will last that is not built on trust

[allsmiles]

i agree with you daycare and maybe its because im still new..but i dont deal well with liars.. i can surely shrug it off and dismiss it IF i never have to deal with you again, but the fact that i have to deal with you everyday woudl make it VERY hard for me.. case in point my parent that didnt come back to care this morning.. she lied and told my sub that she had discussed paying me at a later date.. i texted her and told her we most definately did not and i would expect payment this mroning or her child was terminated.. i would NEVER have had the guts to say that had she not lied.. i didnt want to deal with her and i have a breath of fresh air right now..
like someone else said..we all deal with things differently..im glad we can come here for different perspectives, support and encouragement, its really awesome.. but in the end its gonna be on us on how we are ABLE to handle things..

[e.j.]

...I confronted DCM about it who said that neither her or DCD had any paid time off left and could not afford to take any more time off of work....

So fast forward to this week. DCM told me at drop off this morning that she took a day off work to get everything ready for Thanksgiving and to get her hair done. She is hosting it this year and will need to shop for it still..............

I agree that her priorities seem messed up but are you sure she's lying to you? Is it possible she had requested the day off to prep for Thanksgiving prior to her child being sick and was counting that day in her paid leave totals? I'm asking because I know some companies (like the one my husband works for) require you to sign up for a day off in advance of when it's needed. Once the paperwork goes through, you have to take that day off; you can't change your mind.

For example, if at the beginning of November, my husband knew he had only one day of paid leave left and needed it to get ready for Thanksgiving, he would put the paperwork in and it would be a done deal. If one of our kids got sick in the meantime, he wouldn't be able to switch days and take the day off to bring them to the dr. In effect, he'd have no more paid leave left even though there was one more anticipated paid leave day coming up. Make sense?

Personally, if it were my sick kid, I'd have taken the day off without pay if I felt he was sick enough to need the doctor. I'm just saying that you might want to be careful about labeling her a liar unless you know for a fact that she wasn't telling you the truth.

I tend to agree with Blackcat on this one, though. I wouldn't discuss it but I would also not be inclinded to agree to any more special requests, either.

[phoenix]

I am not judge and jury....I dont care what they do with their time off, just dont lie to me about it!


Yes, I think that more I talked about it with you guys, I realized that I am really really bothered by it more than I thought.

I do feel that at this point, I need to say something for my sake, not for the sake of hoping she will change.

If this family terms, I am ok with it, because I do feel that I have lost all respect for them. I guess I just operate on the lines of I treat people the way that I want to be treated. YOu will not walk all over me and I will STOMP my foot down on you if I think that you are.

Side note.....I was not guilt tripped into opening on a holiday. I often will open if I have no plans. It at least gives my son his friends to play with.

It's just that the mom lied to me about why she was dropping off her kids..... The funny part is, is that she knows that I don't care what the families do on their own time when I have their kids, so I just don't understand her need to lie. I feel that because I didn't confront her then, it just keeps going and going and I feel STUPID and weak for not calling her out.......

Maybe she lied bc she felt guilty about leaving her son and she knows your feelings about that kind of thing???? If you confront her, she just might lie even more and then you really will be upset. I know that you have said you don't care if she terms but you are probably the best role model the dcb has right now.........and the most stable adult figure. He seems to need you!!!!!

[daycare]

i agree with you daycare and maybe its because im still new..but i dont deal well with liars.. i can surely shrug it off and dismiss it IF i never have to deal with you again, but the fact that i have to deal with you everyday woudl make it VERY hard for me.. case in point my parent that didnt come back to care this morning.. she lied and told my sub that she had discussed paying me at a later date.. i texted her and told her we most definately did not and i would expect payment this mroning or her child was terminated.. i would NEVER have had the guts to say that had she not lied.. i didnt want to deal with her and i have a breath of fresh air right now..
like someone else said..we all deal with things differently..im glad we can come here for different perspectives, support and encouragement, its really awesome.. but in the end its gonna be on us on how we are ABLE to handle things..

thanks......I wish I had your backbone when I was new.... If this situation had happened even just a year ago, I would have just not said anything and let it all go in one ear out the other.... For some reason lying just rubs me the wrong way and I just can't let it go.

Like you said, if you lied to me and I didn't ever have to deal with you again, who cares. But when I have to see you every day and you expect a solid relationship out of it, not going to happen if you can't be honest......

I am preparing my words now that I will say to her when she comes to pick up.....

[daycare]

I agree that her priorities seem messed up but are you sure she's lying to you? Is it possible she had requested the day off to prep for Thanksgiving prior to her child being sick and was counting that day in her paid leave totals? I'm asking because I know some companies (like the one my husband works for) require you to sign up for a day off in advance of when it's needed. Once the paperwork goes through, you have to take that day off; you can't change your mind.

For example, if at the beginning of November, my husband knew he had only one day of paid leave left and needed it to get ready for Thanksgiving, he would put the paperwork in and it would be a done deal. If one of our kids got sick in the meantime, he wouldn't be able to switch days and take the day off to bring them to the dr. In effect, he'd have no more paid leave left even though there was one more anticipated paid leave day coming up. Make sense?

Personally, if it were my sick kid, I'd have taken the day off without pay if I felt he was sick enough to need the doctor. I'm just saying that you might want to be careful about labeling her a liar unless you know for a fact that she wasn't telling you the truth.

I tend to agree with Blackcat on this one, though. I wouldn't discuss it but I would also not be inclinded to agree to any more special requests, either.

I am 100% sure she is lying.... when I told her that it was counter productive to bring her kid to work that day, she said that she had ZERO time off for the rest of the year as did her husband. She went on to tell me that they don't have anyone for backup care when her son is sick and that if she had any time offered to her at all to take a day off with her ill child she would have.

Oh I did forget to mention that two days after this incident occurred she said" OMG did you hear that Madonna is in concert?, I thought about calling in sick today and driving up to the city to see her." She did not do this, this was just a statement she said.

There are few other things I have caught her lying about, that her husband threw her under the bus and told me the truth. ??????

[laundrymom]

Obviously, this family does not have their priorities straight.

I've been watching too much Harry Potter. I keep hearing Ron Weasley when I read this line! Sorry. I'm in a mood today. Lol

[daycare]

I've been watching too much Harry Potter. I keep hearing Ron Weasley when I read this line! Sorry. I'm in a mood today. Lol

I don't know harry potter.....sorry wish I did.......

[allsmiles]

thanks......I wish I had your backbone when I was new.... If this situation had happened even just a year ago, I would have just not said anything and let it all go in one ear out the other.... For some reason lying just rubs me the wrong way and I just can't let it go.

Like you said, if you lied to me and I didn't ever have to deal with you again, who cares. But when I have to see you every day and you expect a solid relationship out of it, not going to happen if you can't be honest......

I am preparing my words now that I will say to her when she comes to pick up.....

girl backbone??? PLEASE!!! i am the biggest softie, i dont even wanna talk about it LOL but im learning.. i keep saying next year i will be ready for these parents.. i was just REALLY over this dcm so that made it easier to give her the boot.. i opened a WHOLE hour early for her.. YES.. and she was never on time.. did i ever even mention it to her.. NOPE.. silly me:confused:

your dcm prolly will try to sweep it under the rug.. but at least she will know that YOU KNOW!! LOL

[daycare]

girl backbone??? PLEASE!!! i am the biggest softie, i dont even wanna talk about it LOL but im learning.. i keep saying next year i will be ready for these parents.. i was just REALLY over this dcm so that made it easier to give her the boot.. i opened a WHOLE hour early for her.. YES.. and she was never on time.. did i ever even mention it to her.. NOPE.. silly me:confused:

your dcm prolly will try to sweep it under the rug.. but at least she will know that YOU KNOW!! LOL

I just missed her call and I am going to call her back now....here goes nothing!!!!!!!

[allsmiles]

eeeeeeekkkkkkkkk

[daycare]

Update...

So I had a missed call from DCM and I call her back.

I think the dye from getting her hair colored my have fogged up her brain..

READY................she asked me if I could keep DCB until closing, because she wanted to get to costco and she just barley got done with her hair appointment...

I almost laughed...

SO I said...You know sue, I am a really easy going flexible person when people respect my rules and policies. I just have to be honest with you and ask you why you have not been honest with me about your time off from work. I know it's not really any of my business what decisions you make for you and your family, but I am just feeling really hurt that you have not been honest with me.

She says what do you mean..

So I told her...you just told me that you didn't have any more time off of work, but today you are able to go out and get your hair done and etc., again not my business. The only reason why I am saying anything at all, is becuase I have DCB best interest at heart and I just don't understand why you would take a day off to get your personal stuff done when you could have taken time off so that dcb could be well. (he is still not 100% btw)

Then dead silence.................I hear frogs, crickets and spiders crawling........

So she says, I guess you aren't willing to keep him until closing then huh and I said NO, sorry. I can't help you if you can't be honest with me. I feel that I am owed at least that.

She said sorry you feel that way, did not even try to explain herself or cover it up.....

DCD calls and says oh I will be over at normal time to pick up DCB....

LOL
UUUGGGHHHH