Parents Secretly Recording Daycare: Logged Out

[Unregistered]

Mom response

Hello. I thought I would give a quick perspective. Our daughter had been acting strangely and changing behavior. I bought a small recorder because according to our daycare provider everything was great. I wanted to trust that but with no explanation for the change, I had to be sure. If there's nothing to hide, then all is great. However, in our case it wasn't and I'm glad we did it. My two daughters don't deserve the provider they got. If the parents come off as weird or unstable, you should question watching their children. But for those of us that need to verify our instinct, it's not meant as an insult. You're with our children longer than we are and we need to know they are safe and loved.

Kind regards,
Amy

[BrooklynM]

If the child comes back with the same doll, follow these steps:

1. Act completely normal to the parents, don't be weird or let on. Just say, oh I'm so glad you brought that doll back, its so cute! Where did you get this? Maybe I should get one for the daycare. Find out the name of the doll, etc.

2. When the parent leaves, look up the doll on the internet to see if what you feel is normal. Also, look up nanny cam dolls. Yes, they make them!

3. If it is not normal or they don't tell you where they got it, etc. and you are still suspicious, STICK IT IN THE FREEZER!!! First, cover the eyes with something like a thick blanket, but make it look like a kid is doing it.(it may have a camera in the eyes, this is common)Wrap it in a paper towel so you don't get anything from the freezer on it. Leave it there til nap time.

4. At naptime, take the doll out of the freezer and see if you can take the thing apart.

I totally get that parents are concerned, as they should be, there are a lot of crazy people watching their kids, but if they want cameras, they should have found a provider who has cameras running and gives parents access to them. Good luck finding that!

[Angelsj]

If the child comes back with the same doll, follow these steps:

1. Act completely normal to the parents, don't be weird or let on. Just say, oh I'm so glad you brought that doll back, its so cute! Where did you get this? Maybe I should get one for the daycare. Find out the name of the doll, etc.

2. When the parent leaves, look up the doll on the internet to see if what you feel is normal. Also, look up nanny cam dolls. Yes, they make them!

3. If it is not normal or they don't tell you where they got it, etc. and you are still suspicious, STICK IT IN THE FREEZER!!! First, cover the eyes with something like a thick blanket, but make it look like a kid is doing it.(it may have a camera in the eyes, this is common)Wrap it in a paper towel so you don't get anything from the freezer on it. Leave it there til nap time.

4. At naptime, take the doll out of the freezer and see if you can take the thing apart.

I totally get that parents are concerned, as they should be, there are a lot of crazy people watching their kids, but if they want cameras, they should have found a provider who has cameras running and gives parents access to them. Good luck finding that!

I realize this is an old thread, but seriously? This made me chuckle. ::
You could do all that...or, You could give the doll back to the parents and tell them you don't allow toys from home.
As a parent, I would be a bit suspicious, and more than a little irritated at that scenario.

[Unregistered]

I know this is old. But oh my that would creep me out! Do you have an update??

[Unregistered]

I also know this is an old thread but interesting, I had a stubborn parent send stuff everyday one day she sent a doll and claimed the child had to have it because she was so attached to it that she fought it was a baby ( I know, dumb) well as usual I never gave doll to child, and child didn't even asked tor it, the parent later called to make sure the chid had the doll with her, I told her no, shes busy building blocks! But this post made me suspicious. Anyways it ended up bad soon after.

[blessed mom]

My concern wouldn't be the doll with a recording but their extreme distrust. I mean things can be seen so many ways. One time a child was cutting and then started to put the scissors in her mouth and I quickly grabbed her arm before it got there and the child started to cry and told her mom that I grabbed her arm and hurt her. The parents I have today would say "then don't put scissors in your mouth" The parents of the child you have right now would file a law suit!

[Sunshine75]

You could look the toy up online based on the manufacturer and if the toy happened to be thrown into the toilet by another child..ooops oh well!

[MamaMamaMama]

I have in my policies that any toy/item brought from home will be considered a donation to my daycare.

Then I would immediately investigate the item and confront the parent at pickup if it was indeed a recording device. Termination would follow, no amount of money is worth the aggravation and lack of trust that an invasion of privacy would bring.

I need to make this policy! I have trouble with DCPs letting their kids bring in toys because the kids "insisted" and they "couldn't take it away." Of course, it creates huge problems the instant they walk in the door. They then proceed to get mad at my DD for wanting to see the toy! She's super polite and just maybe stands a little too close and asks to "See?" but this DCG is SUPER possessive of her things and screams and hits when you try to take things away from her.

That turned into a rant. I'm this close to terming that family even though I'm pregnant and they're my only two DCKs.

[Play Care]

I realize this is an old thread, but seriously? This made me chuckle. ::
You could do all that...or, You could give the doll back to the parents and tell them you don't allow toys from home.
As a parent, I would be a bit suspicious, and more than a little irritated at that scenario.

I tell the parents all.the.time. about my open door policy for them. Please, pop in!!! No one ever does If you feel I'm giving you a "show" then please come over when I'm least expecting it. No need to try to record me and possibly misconstrue what is being said or why it's being said.

[TwinKristi]

I wish the OP would update as to if she took the thing apart or not. Crazy she never came back I update!

[Dot]

WOW this thread struck such a nerve that I registered in order to reply

My daughter heads to pre K in the fall and I went onto google to see if there were any devices I could use to randomly access sound from her classroom. Not because I have a reason to distrust the school but because I don't have a reason to blindly trust them either. My intention wasn't to sit and listen all day long only to have peace of mind that from time to time I could click it on and see if she was happy, talking with other students, and if there might be a reason she is crying for a long time. Earlier last year I attempted to put her into part time day care at a center 2 days a week and all was well for the first 3 weeks and on the 4th week when I arrived I could hear her crying from outside and she was inconsolable. The teacher told me she'd been that way all day and yet they never called to tell me and when I called on lunch to check on her, as I had done for 3 weeks they lied and said she was having a perfect day. She began wetting the bed, having bad dreams, no longer went into her Sunday school and randomly would start crying about returning to the center. I was supposed to be a wonderful chance for her to be with kids and me to have a few days a week to run errands and do deep cleaning without having her here as well as to begin to prepare her for being out of the home. It took 3 months for her to settle down and be able to go back into Sunday school and not bring up the place, as a 3 year old with some verbal delays we had no way of knowing what on Earth happened but if I'd had a device I could have clicked on for a moment I could have heard her crying and called the center or went to pick her up. I had told them many times that I didn't work and this was not out of need but in preparation for her going to an all day pre K the following year and yet they didn't call or give me a real trustworthy answer as to what the issue was so I was left with this terrible mistrust.

So I went onto google to try to locate such "questionable" devices that I could possibly attach to her book bag or a hair bow and I came across this forum. And you know what struck me was the amount of times the original poster called the parents AND the child Odd. She used it so many times that she began appearing Odd to me, a stranger. She even discussed how the child itself stood over the other children as if to say the child was spying also. She needs their money but doesn't like them or their child. There was a toy she never opened up and just made these suggestions on here as a guest. Well, my mother sewed a musical button into my daughter's baby blanket and also a doll but once that little battery went out there was no changing it and there was no velcro or noticeable seam. Perhaps it was a musical button that got used and then was just in there. We will never know because she never checked, she just spent quite a bit of time getting supporters to help her accuse the parents and sympathize with her about being "violated" by a listening device. Well, if she wasn't comfortable with them she shouldn't be comfortable with their money and maybe they were nervous because they never know who to trust and they too get an uncomfortable feeling from this "odd" provider but are in a dire situation to need to have them for day care at that time.

I would hope that shortly after one of the two parties terminated the contract because regardless of whether there was a device or if this provider was just a manipulator that child deserved to have proper care and not with someone who called them "Odd".

Legal or not, costly or not, I will be installing a listening device on my child in the fall and from time to time I will turn it on to check in on her. She will be frightened at first heading off to an all day program and it will take time for her to adjust but if the teacher is good at her job she will make my daughter feel more comfortable until she looks forward to it and if that's the case I will probably remove the listening device. But the days of blind trust are long gone ladies and the point of parents having to resort to "bending" the law is here, not because all daycare providers and teachers are unfit but because you never know who is until you've listened in here and there without their knowledge. I know this will not be well received but it is just where things are.

most of you will vehemently disagree with me but that's ok I'm going to do what I need to do to feel comfortable with my child leaving the home, I won't be posting stuff on youtube or using it as a soapbox to judge the school district but I will use it to help me decide whether she is making progress where she is or if I need to drive her to a different school. I'm sorry if that offends people but I'm not the only parent out there that feels this way.

[Play Care]

Did you ever pop in - not just call - to see what was going on? I will say that even though you may have insisted that they call you and tell you she was crying, inconsolable, etc. they were probably afraid to. I can't tell you how many times, regardless of if the parent is working or not, they *refuse* to come get children (even if the child is ill) and any phone call is regarded as the teacher not being able to handle the kids/job.

I refuse to be recorded (and do not allow items from home for this reason). Not because I have something to hide, but because I have other children here and their privacy is important. Chances are very good that a parent may hear something that they have NO business hearing (news about another child, another parent speaking to the teacher, etc.) and that could get them into very hot water legally if it came out. I urge you to reconsider your idea.

Does the pre-K have an open door policy? Pop in!!! Pick up at random times, etc. Keep them on their toes!

My daughter heads to pre K in the fall and I went onto google to see if there were any devices I could use to randomly access sound from her classroom. Not because I have a reason to distrust the school but because I don't have a reason to blindly trust them either. My intention wasn't to sit and listen all day long only to have peace of mind that from time to time I could click it on and see if she was happy, talking with other students, and if there might be a reason she is crying for a long time. Earlier last year I attempted to put her into part time day care at a center 2 days a week and all was well for the first 3 weeks and on the 4th week when I arrived I could hear her crying from outside and she was inconsolable. The teacher told me she'd been that way all day and yet they never called to tell me and when I called on lunch to check on her, as I had done for 3 weeks they lied and said she was having a perfect day. She began wetting the bed, having bad dreams, no longer went into her Sunday school and randomly would start crying about returning to the center. I was supposed to be a wonderful chance for her to be with kids and me to have a few days a week to run errands and do deep cleaning without having her here as well as to begin to prepare her for being out of the home. It took 3 months for her to settle down and be able to go back into Sunday school and not bring up the place, as a 3 year old with some verbal delays we had no way of knowing what on Earth happened but if I'd had a device I could have clicked on for a moment I could have heard her crying and called the center or went to pick her up. I had told them many times that I didn't work and this was not out of need but in preparation for her going to an all day pre K the following year and yet they didn't call or give me a real trustworthy answer as to what the issue was so I was left with this terrible mistrust.

So I went onto google to try to locate such "questionable" devices that I could possibly attach to her book bag or a hair bow and I came across this forum. And you know what struck me was the amount of times the original poster called the parents AND the child Odd. She used it so many times that she began appearing Odd to me, a stranger. She even discussed how the child itself stood over the other children as if to say the child was spying also. She needs their money but doesn't like them or their child. There was a toy she never opened up and just made these suggestions on here as a guest. Well, my mother sewed a musical button into my daughter's baby blanket and also a doll but once that little battery went out there was no changing it and there was no velcro or noticeable seam. Perhaps it was a musical button that got used and then was just in there. We will never know because she never checked, she just spent quite a bit of time getting supporters to help her accuse the parents and sympathize with her about being "violated" by a listening device. Well, if she wasn't comfortable with them she shouldn't be comfortable with their money and maybe they were nervous because they never know who to trust and they too get an uncomfortable feeling from this "odd" provider but are in a dire situation to need to have them for day care at that time.

I would hope that shortly after one of the two parties terminated the contract because regardless of whether there was a device or if this provider was just a manipulator that child deserved to have proper care and not with someone who called them "Odd".

Legal or not, costly or not, I will be installing a listening device on my child in the fall and from time to time I will turn it on to check in on her. She will be frightened at first heading off to an all day program and it will take time for her to adjust but if the teacher is good at her job she will make my daughter feel more comfortable until she looks forward to it and if that's the case I will probably remove the listening device. But the days of blind trust are long gone ladies and the point of parents having to resort to "bending" the law is here, not because all daycare providers and teachers are unfit but because you never know who is until you've listened in here and there without their knowledge. I know this will not be well received but it is just where things are.

most of you will vehemently disagree with me but that's ok I'm going to do what I need to do to feel comfortable with my child leaving the home, I won't be posting stuff on youtube or using it as a soapbox to judge the school district but I will use it to help me decide whether she is making progress where she is or if I need to drive her to a different school. I'm sorry if that offends people but I'm not the only parent out there that feels this way.

[craftymissbeth]

Dot, I agree with the PP. Centers, especially, seem to hesitate calling parents because parents generally do NOT want to miss work.

How do you know that your child is going to have a tough time at preschool? You have to trust in your child that she will be able to adjust. You have to trust in the preschool teachers that they will treat her properly.

I suggest you be upfront with the preschool and let them know that if your child is having a tough time that you be called immediately.

I would be FURIOUS if another family decided to record (video OR audio) my child's classroom without my consent. And to tell you the truth I would get a lawyer and go as far as I could with it.... I feel that recording other children without their parents consent is just wrong. It's one thing to record a nanny or babysitter in your own home, but to record other peoples children. I actually feel sick thinking about it.

You really should think of this from another parents perspective. If another child was carrying around a recording device that was recording your child daily would you not feel upset about that? How do you know the purpose of recordings?

[Blackcat31]

I wish the OP would update as to if she took the thing apart or not. Crazy she never came back I update!

The OP is a current and active member so maybe she'll see this and give us an update.

[Annalee]

Dot, I

I would be FURIOUS if another family decided to record (video OR audio) my child's classroom without my consent. And to tell you the truth I would get a lawyer and go as far as I could with it.... I feel that recording other children without their parents consent is just wrong. It's one thing to record a nanny or babysitter in your own home, but to record other peoples children. I actually feel sick thinking about it.

This whole process seems like a legality issue to me as well. I know a lady who used a recorder/tracker on her husband the court disallowed it all and told her she was the one breaking the law.