I Thought I Was Shocked Before, But ...

[Kimberli]

For those of you who have read my past threads on my recent Licensing Complaint and how my appeal was handled -

Just when I thought the insults were behind me ...

Today I received the second of two huge manilla envelopes - this one sent directly from my licensing analyst, containing yet another 20 pages of photocopied articles from the internet and Headstart which address appropriate discipline for toddlers (same basic information all over again which of course, suggested "verbally expressing behavior expectations" and "time out/removing the child for a minute or two" to short-circuit the undesired behavior - which is, of course, exactly what I got a citation for. (Apparently, they didn't think the first 20 pages were sufficient.) But this time it didn't stop there ...

Also included was a flyer (hand-highlighted!) which advertised local classes on Anger Management and a flyer from Catholic Charities for a sliding-scale personal counselor.

No ... I am not kidding ... I wish I was.

Someone help me check myself here, please. No one has ever complained or observed me losing my self-control with any child in my care. That inference wasn't even brought up in the investigation about the time-outs I gave the terminated child in this case.

Am I crazy or is this over-reaction bordering on personal harassment? I feel like my personal character is being attacked ... and by someone who doesn't even know me and has never observed me behave any other way than professional. Can they really do this?

I don't understand ... someone enlighten me. Like the Energizer Bunny - it just keeps going, and going, and ...

[blandino]

YOU ARE NOT CRAZY !! It is the most violating and insulting feeling you can imagine. (I responded to your original post, telling my story about the little girl who was hit in the eye with a ball, and mom called DHS who brought CPS to investigate abuse).

We told our DHS monitor that it was personal harassment and slander (they had to call our other DCP to see if they had noticed anything odd). That qualifies as slander in my book.

The part that gets me, is that it is so one sided - you just have to sit there and take it. Someone can say whatever they want about you and file a completely unsubstantial complaint , and you are just a sitting duck.

I almost get the feeling, that the supervisor who wrote you the letter before - somehow has taken the DCM's side or heard her story first and is inclined to believe her. It also (to me) sounds like she is not getting an accurate depiction of what happened.

I have told your story to no less than 3 people, who were all shocked. A former daycare client, said to me "Well what about the personal rights of the children his actions were endangering ? Do the other children in care not have personal rights ? It makes me want to write a book. Good grief.

I am so incredibly sympathetic to you right now. I am so sorry this is happening.

[nanglgrl]

You should contact a lawyer. I think you may have a case. This worker seems to think that you have anger issues but what I don't understand is why because it was not in the original complaint. Have you received the written complaint yet? Did it say anything about anger? It sounds to me like she either knows the parent (had that happen before after terming a client and it was ridiculous although I still came out fine) or that when she came to start the investigation on you she was offended by something you said or did. I'm not saying you did anything but I once had a worker get upset because I called her the wrong name twice. I was busy working with the kids as she was doing my yearly unannounced spot check and because I didn't coddle her and forgot her name she felt I was rude to her. I didn't know I was supposed to offer her tea and biscuits!

[Kimberli]

YOU ARE NOT CRAZY !! It is the most violating and insulting feeling you can imagine. (I responded to your original post, telling my story about the little girl who was hit in the eye with a ball, and mom called DHS who brought CPS to investigate abuse).

We told our DHS monitor that it was personal harassment and slander (they had to call our other DCP to see if they had noticed anything odd). That qualifies as slander in my book.

The part that gets me, is that it is so one sided - you just have to sit there and take it. Someone can say whatever they want about you and file a completely unsubstantial complaint , and you are just a sitting duck.

I almost get the feeling, that the supervisor who wrote you the letter before - somehow has taken the DCM's side or heard her story first and is inclined to believe her. It also (to me) sounds like she is not getting an accurate depiction of what happened.

I have told your story to no less than 3 people, who were all shocked. A former daycare client, said to me "Well what about the personal rights of the children his actions were endangering ? Do the other children in care not have personal rights ? It makes me want to write a book. Good grief.

I am so incredibly sympathetic to you right now. I am so sorry this is happening.

(((sigh))) ... thanks. I read your story too and felt the same for you. The whole system of checks and balances is just not working, in my opinion.

and I am finally beyond the point of looking for comfort with it - (SO many wonderful providers here reached out and have given support!lovethis) ... but now I think that the State has stepped outside the box and is attacking my personal character without provocation.

I used to be a Store Manager for Starbucks - can you imagine if I had been coached and written up because a customer complained that I was rude to them during a visit to my store (whether I agreed or not) and was told that I needed to do things differently moving forward ... then two months later sent me a packet to my home address with information hand highlighted on local anger management classes and personal counseling??? They could never get away with that. Can you say lawsuit?

I'm just sitting here with my jaw on the floor ...

[Hunni Bee]

I have no advice for you. I just want to offer support. That is something I couldn't imagine, and it would make me start rethinking my career choice.

The only worse feeling than people implying that you may be mentally unstable, is the fact that people are not trusting that you are taking good care of the children.

Just keep your head up. These people are a$$holes and have nothing better to do but abuse thr copy machine. ((hugs))

[Angelsj]

The truly sad thing about all this is that before long, the good providers who pull their hair out trying to keep up with and follow all these nutty rules are going to give up. All that will be left are the cheap, watch TV all day, with 25 kids, smoke on the porch type providers that are operating outside the law. :confused:

[countrymom]

you need to go above the person who is sending you this stuff. Call a lawyer, this isn't right. I'm a person who would go down to the office and make a public appearance. I would also ask for cps for their reconds and go above their heads. I'm mean but I would make that mom who called and caused all this stink, make her life hell too. I would call cps and make a complaint on her (selfish and pety but she needs to see how it feels) I would also find out if the child is in another daycare and talk to them. See if mom has said something.

[cheerfuldom]

you need to go above the person who is sending you this stuff. Call a lawyer, this isn't right. I'm a person who would go down to the office and make a public appearance. I would also ask for cps for their reconds and go above their heads. I'm mean but I would make that mom who called and caused all this stink, make her life hell too. I would call cps and make a complaint on her (selfish and pety but she needs to see how it feels) I would also find out if the child is in another daycare and talk to them. See if mom has said something.

Absolutely make a stink about this OP

but do NOT call CPS out of vengence. That is horrible advice countrymom and I am not afraid to call you out on it. CPS is there for children that need help....not immature adults seeking revenge....shame on you for suggesting that.

Focus on getting your name cleared as best as possible OP and do not let this situation bring out the worst in you.

[HappyHearts]

The truly sad thing about all this is that before long, the good providers who pull their hair out trying to keep up with and follow all these nutty rules are going to give up. All that will be left are the cheap, watch TV all day, with 25 kids, smoke on the porch type providers that are operating outside the law. :confused:

This, unfortunately has already begun to happen where i live. It's really scary when I see what is happening here.

Kimberli, I read your other thread but never had a chance to comment. I don't really have any advice, but just feel really terrible for you. This is one of the most insane things I have ever heard. I do agree with the others about contacting a lawyer. Something just isn't right here, and you need to fight this the proper way. I know this is a very hard and difficult situation for you, but don't let them get away with attacking your character this way with the anger management talk, fight it, legally.

I am just so very sorry you are having to deal with this. Hugs.

[Kimberli]

I would also find out if the child is in another daycare and talk to them. See if mom has said something.

I have always wondered if we are allowed to contact and/or discuss a child/family in care with another known previous or present provider. Is that legal? It seems like breathing in California breaks some type of rule! I have the child's previous daycare listed in my records and truly wanted to reach out to them just to see if they had any issues with said family but felt it wouldn't be just?!?

Mom had told me that where child was prior to my care was a woman with only her own older children and I had no reason to doubt it at that time, but now I have researched on my end only to find the lady was licensed for 14 kids by the State ... hmmmmm.

I have no idea where he is in care right now, but I feel for his new provider immensely. If everyone in the State of California just 'terms' kids who need constant redirection like my Licensing Analyst suggested I should have done, then these parents will find themselves playing daycare roulette. I hope DCM doesn't do to someone else what she's done here ... but then again, maybe that would show her true colors.

[Kimberli]

This, unfortunately has already begun to happen where i live. It's really scary when I see what is happening here.

Kimberli, I read your other thread but never had a chance to comment. I don't really have any advice, but just feel really terrible for you. This is one of the most insane things I have ever heard. I do agree with the others about contacting a lawyer. Something just isn't right here, and you need to fight this the proper way. I know this is a very hard and difficult situation for you, but don't let them get away with attacking your character this way with the anger management talk, fight it, legally.

I am just so very sorry you are having to deal with this. Hugs.

Thanks. ... I was really just to the point of cutting my losses and letting sleeping dogs lie and accepting the fact that I might be denied my application to expand this year, but they just won't stop with the badgering about how 'broken' I am as a provider - and now as a person. I was moving on, but once again, I feel like I have to decide whether to just swallow my pride and turn the other cheek or consider fighting. I just HATE to stir the pot and make my own life more miserable. This has been hard for my entire family. But ... I do think I owe it to myself to at least seek a lawyer's perspective. If they tell me this is acceptable, I will just have to be the bigger person ... again.

[itlw8]

so they cited you for correcting the child and removing him from the situation for a minute or 2 ( time out) AND then sent literature telling you that is what you should do?

I would ask for clarification on that for sure. Send it to the rep and supervisor and the investigating person

something like this. I am confused. I was cited for verbally correcting a child under 2 and removing him from the situation for ---- minutes ( time out)
But now I was sent literature on how I should have handled the situation and that is what it says to do.

so I may not tell a child no. I may not remove him from the area when he is violent. But I am to verbally tell him it is not allowed and remove him from the area to reset his thinking? This seems to be the samee thing just written in a better way.

[Sunchimes]

As everyone else has said, I'm sorry this bizarre stuff is happening. I would definitely address the information in the packaging. It may turn out that this woman is doing on her own for some odd purpose but is outside the operating parameters for licensing.

It leads me to something I've wondered about. I know that complaints against a provider are usually left on your public record (in most states, I guess.) But, is there a record of the mom who apparently had the most abused child in history if her record of complaints could be tracked? It seems like repeated complaints should be taken into consideration.

[sharlan]

This is CA for you.

DO NOT go down to licensing and confront these people. That will only blow up in your face. DO NOT call CPS on this mother, that will also come back to haunt you.

Wait until the person you need to speak to returns this month. Just continue to document every single little thing you get from licensing.

[Crystal]

Kimberli....

I would definitley be contacting an attorney. You ARE being harrassed.

Would you please refresh my memory and tell me EXACTLY what the licensor wrote on your investigation paperwork. I would like to do some research for you.

Big hugs and hang in there.