DCG Stubborn About Sharing

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  • Willow
    Advanced Daycare.com Member
    • May 2012
    • 2683

    #16
    I am not a fan of banishing problem toys. That doesn't serve to teach the kids how to work through the problem, it just hides it away for the determined amount of time. If they can't work through it the first time why would they know how to when it came back?

    Kids get frustrated with life and need to learn how to work through those feelings. A "mine" obsessed kid will remain that way unless they are required to confront their feelings and learn better ways to deal with them. I don't agree that a "mine" kiddo should have the right to dictate whether toys get taken away from the group. I could see some of the smarter cookies figuring out that if they can't have it no one will and taking full advantage of that response.



    My3cents - with your outside toys maybe try a rotation. Tell the kids you want to see that they know how to play with every toy, you can set it up like an obstacle course or one big long line. After 5-10 minutes blow a whistle (if you've never used one around them the novelty will definitely inspire cooperation ), and holler an enthusiastic "EVERYBODY SWITCH!!!!" and have everyone move on to the next activity until everyone gets to play with everything. You can move through and offer words of praise, "yep, you got that one down!" or "wow, that's an interesting way you do that!" If you have enough kids you can do this in buddy pairs too to get different kids playing together that might usually not. It's fascinating the dynamics that'll change within your group if you try that in particular.

    If you do that a handful of times, and see individuals beginning to struggle whip out your whistle and holler "EVERYBODY SWITCH!!!" again to keep the environment from getting too stale. Plus, it might help kids rediscover other toys or activities they actually love but may have just forgone because they got too one track minded playing with something like the mower.



    If all else fails there is nothing wrong with telling Johnny it's simply someone else's turn - "I'm sorry you're sad, but so was Suzy when she didn't have the toy too. She can have a turn, and then she'll give it back, that way you can both enjoy it! Do you want to come over here and do ____ with me while you're waiting your turn?" If he chooses to pout about that instead he can, just not sitting right next to the toy so as to ruin the other children's fun.

    Encourage resiliency. Life isn't always fair or fun, the ability to bounce back and stay positive despite that is a priceless coping mechanism. IMHO life is far too easy and padded for kids now days which has created a society of miserable people who can only focus on what they don't have instead of what they do.

    I absolutely believe being prone to optimism starts in childhood

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    • My3cents
      Daycare.com Member
      • Jan 2012
      • 3387

      #17
      Originally posted by Willow
      I am not a fan of banishing problem toys. That doesn't serve to teach the kids how to work through the problem, it just hides it away for the determined amount of time. If they can't work through it the first time why would they know how to when it came back?

      Kids get frustrated with life and need to learn how to work through those feelings. A "mine" obsessed kid will remain that way unless they are required to confront their feelings and learn better ways to deal with them. I don't agree that a "mine" kiddo should have the right to dictate whether toys get taken away from the group. I could see some of the smarter cookies figuring out that if they can't have it no one will and taking full advantage of that response.



      My3cents - with your outside toys maybe try a rotation. Tell the kids you want to see that they know how to play with every toy, you can set it up like an obstacle course or one big long line. After 5-10 minutes blow a whistle (if you've never used one around them the novelty will definitely inspire cooperation ), and holler an enthusiastic "EVERYBODY SWITCH!!!!" and have everyone move on to the next activity until everyone gets to play with everything. You can move through and offer words of praise, "yep, you got that one down!" or "wow, that's an interesting way you do that!" If you have enough kids you can do this in buddy pairs too to get different kids playing together that might usually not. It's fascinating the dynamics that'll change within your group if you try that in particular.

      If you do that a handful of times, and see individuals beginning to struggle whip out your whistle and holler "EVERYBODY SWITCH!!!" again to keep the environment from getting too stale. Plus, it might help kids rediscover other toys or activities they actually love but may have just forgone because they got too one track minded playing with something like the mower.



      If all else fails there is nothing wrong with telling Johnny it's simply someone else's turn - "I'm sorry you're sad, but so was Suzy when she didn't have the toy too. She can have a turn, and then she'll give it back, that way you can both enjoy it! Do you want to come over here and do ____ with me while you're waiting your turn?" If he chooses to pout about that instead he can, just not sitting right next to the toy so as to ruin the other children's fun.

      Encourage resiliency. Life isn't always fair or fun, the ability to bounce back and stay positive despite that is a priceless coping mechanism. IMHO life is far too easy and padded for kids now days which has created a society of miserable people who can only focus on what they don't have instead of what they do.

      I absolutely believe being prone to optimism starts in childhood
      Willow- This is good. Your not telling me anything I don't know, but sometimes it is just nice to revisit. I find doing childcare that I go off to other phases as the kids go in and out of them and you focus on these and tend to forget (not forget but just move out of) a stage. I also am always looking for something that I might not have tried,new or old ways.

      I don't think my kids would get the whistle yet. If I had older kids to model this technique- maybe. My kids are all two. I agree with not taking the toy away for the same reasons you stated. I have put a toy up in the past and no one was allowed to play with it, but it didn't stay away. Inside I have tons of things to play, outside I am simple and don't have much. I want the kids to run, move, stretch and be active. I don't have chairs for them to sit in except one that I use for a cool down, melt down, time away, time out whatever you want to call it. I don't usually call it anything but just use it rarely. If a child is having a hard time, they become my best buddy and walk around with me and hold my hand or I have them sit next to me.

      I have five strong personality two year olds- Two lawn mowers, two pop corn poppers and a shopping cart. Something for everyone, but they all want that lawn mower.

      I also tell the mine mine mine kids that the toys are actually mine. I share them with you and so you must share them with your friends.

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