I Know Everyone Has Had This Happen, But It Still Irks Me Like Crazy !

[Blackcat31]

Honestly in my personal opinion I think the reason parents automatically think things happened at daycare vs home is because for one, with only one or two children on their watch, they might think we would judge them if they let anything happen at home. Even bigger judgement if something happened and they didn't notice it.

I also think parents think that way because from their viewpoint, they DO know what goes on at their house and probably feel that they do know when and where every little scratch and pimple came from so if there is one and they don't know where it happened or came from then the only obvious answer (to them) is daycare. kwim?

I am lucky that none of my parents would act like that and I am sure to mention things that do happen here but come on let's be honest...things happen and sometimes no one really knows how or why. I am refering to little things like scratches and such not big things.

I have had in the past parents who "accused " me of all sorts of little things like that but I stop them by explaining that if they don't trust me, then we can't be partners and if we aren't partners in this then I can't have them as clients.

I have had parents ask about scratches and such because I may have forgot tomention it at pick up but I have never felt their questioning was in any way accusatory.

[cheerfuldom]

Honestly in my personal opinion I think the reason parents automatically think things happened at daycare vs home is because for one, with only one or two children on their watch, they might think we would judge them if they let anything happen at home. Even bigger judgement if something happened and they didn't notice it.

I also think parents think that way because from their viewpoint, they DO know what goes on at their house and probably feel that they do know when and where every little scratch and pimple came from so if there is one and they don't know where it happened or came from then the only obvious answer (to them) is daycare. kwim?

I am lucky that none of my parents would act like that and I am sure to mention things that do happen here but come on let's be honest...things happen and sometimes no one really knows how or why. I am refering to little things like scratches and such not big things.

I have had in the past parents who "accused " me of all sorts of little things like that but I stop them by explaining that if they don't trust me, then we can't be partners and if we aren't partners in this then I can have them as clients.

I have had parents ask about scratches and such because I may have forgot tomention it at pick up but I have never felt their questioning was in any way accusatory.

This is absolutely what I have had to do. If the parent really pushes it, its important for them to know that what they are doing is sabotaging the working relationship. If they really cant trust what a provider is doing or saying, they need to go to someone that they do trust.

[busymommy0420]

Funny...I just had a Mom ask me about 2yo DCG's scratches on her shoulder. She asked me in front of DCG and I replied, "I asked her how she got them and she said my Mommy scratched me." DCM laughed and said, "I didn't even know I did that." I brushed it off but I keep my nails short so I know it wasn't me! This Mom is high maintenance so it gave me a good laugh!!! ::::::

[JustMe]

Omg, I had an experience last week where a parent subtly tried to blame a big noticeable bruise their child had on something that had happened at daycare. I only have the child every other day and I had noticed the bruise the other day & asked the child about it, but when I told the Dcd that he said "No, I'm sure that wasn't there this morning!" He repeated that a few times. He also kept interrogating the child (a 4yo) saying, "I'm not mad I just want to know how this happened," etc.

After they left I remembered that I had taken pictures of the kids during art project the last day that child had been there, and sure enough, a big giant noticeable bruise in the exact location.

I really, really, really wanted to call up Dcd and say, hey look at these pics! Way to pay attention to your kid! But Dcd called to apologize - said it apparently happened yesterday but must have taken a long time to bruise (still claimed it hadn't been there that morning!) so I just let it go. No, it happened at least 2-3 days ago, and yeah, the bruise has been there for days. But whatever.

[providerandmomof4]

I have an 8mo dcg that is crawling and standing up (not walking yet- but so close) She knows how to get up and down and is fast. Last week she was grabbing a toy from the floor while standing and bonked her forehead on the corner of my daughter's dresser. I wasn't sure if it would leave a mark but I am so paranoid that dcp would think she wasn't being monitored close enough. They have dropped hints, "dcg is really moving fast now, so be careful."
I gave a boo boo report (had them sign mine to keep in her file, and gave them a copy) at pick up and there wasn't even a mark. I'm not sure if they think I'm being a freak but I'm going to protect myself....this makes me so nervous!

[BABYLUVER]

I termed a dcf once in the beginning of my care after they failed to pay me.



I had taken the baby and her older child on a Monday and mom told me that Tuesday baby had a doctor's appt. I figured she forgot the money Monday morning and would bring it Monday afternoon. Meanwhile, I also got notice that the first check she wrote bounced. I asked her about it Monday afternoon and told her that it bounced. She assured me she would bring the money for the weeks that bounced Tuesday to include the current amount. I didn't smell the odor of liar at that time. Tues morning, she came and went so fast and I honestly forgot about getting the money. I checked the diaper bag, NOTHING. I called her and she started to get snippy with me, so I said "You have a Dr. Appt at noon so I need you here at 11 and the money needs to come w/ you or I will not accept them tomorrow"

She picked up her children and the baby was laughing, smiling and just having a good old time, and said that she would come back later with the money. Meanwhile, the older one was screaming "I DON'T WANT TO GO HOME, I WANT TO PLAY HERE" and wailing and refusing to put her shoes and jacket on. Mom was busy yelling at the older child while I noticed that the baby's socks were (again) missing, so I found them and let MOM put them on her feet. Baby was perfectly well when they left. About an hour later I got the husband coming to pick up their things. We asked what was going on (but knew they couldn't pay), he pretended not to know.

Then the woman calls me up and tells me that her baby's foot was burned and probably because I had used the stove holding the baby. First of all, anyone who knows me well, knows I very rarely actually cook. Secondly, if I HAVE to cook, there is this little item called a playpen or a high chair that babies sit in for that purpose. She then proceeds to ask me if I would accept $80 of the $280 and "If you agree, I'll bring the child back tomorrow". Lastly, why would anyone automatically just come up with something like that anyway?

I said to her "Wait, first you call me and accuse me of BURNING your child, then request me to accept only $80 of $280 owed to me after you bounced a check on me? Um, NO. I won't take your children back and I need the full balance owed for care already provided"

She told me $80 or nothing and if I didn't accept the $80 she'd report me to CPS. I told her that was fine with me, go ahead, that I don't play those games.

CPS came to my door THE NEXT DAY. They also had to visit mom to see the alleged burn. CPS saw nothing and asked mom what this was really about. They suggested for mom and me to mediate, but mom refused, then wanted nothing to do with us. It took a LOT to get my money back.

I cannot believe some of the lengths parents will go through when they really get upset.

I would say proceed with caution. You may think very well this mom is sweet and nice.I thought the same about the above family before this happened. I should have seen it coming, and didn't. It starts with something small (in my case a payment--In yours, a scratch) and then when they don't get their way, it turns into something big.

I do have to say I LOVE the idea of saying "I was going to ask you the same thing because I didn't think it happened here" and wish I had thought of it in other situations. In the above, that would not have worked, because she made it all up.

[Mommy2One]

Then the woman calls me up and tells me that her baby's foot was burned and probably because I had used the stove holding the baby. [...] She then proceeds to ask me if I would accept $80 of the $280 and "If you agree, I'll bring the child back tomorrow".

I had to chuckle at this logic (or more accurately, lack of) of her made-up story. If I thought someone had burned my baby by holding her too close to a stove, there is NO WAY, my own job be darned, that I would bring my child back there.