What Happened To BIG Families???

[busymommy0420]

I have 7 daycare families I work with. 5 out of the 7 families only have one child the other two families have two children. I am a Mommy of five, a sister to four and my husband is one of eight. What happened to BIG families? Is it the economy? We are doing well, we provide our kids with nice things, vacations, recreational activities, etc. What do you all think? I love having a big family. I love that my kids will have each other. Is having only one child the NEW trend??

[Oneluckymom]

Yes I think it is a combo of both economy and the new trend. Now it's a necessity for both parents to work and it's costly to raise kids.

[missjenny]

Someday I want a big family but right now I am not ready for even one little one. My hubby comes from a big family 5 other sibalings the oldest and youngest are 28 years apart. His dad came from a family of 11 kids.

[LadyMacbeth]

I think its more the economy than just a trend. I have two kids and have gotten my tubes blocked up. We don't think w can financially support any more kids and we also feel that having more is a responsibility we would rather not have. Its a lot of work with two. I can't imagine having to divide my time between more kids. I already feel like I'm not giving them enough of me. I'm not implying that your kids are being neglected, just that with my lifestyle i would be doing just that if i had anymore

[NiNi.R.]

I have two kids. I used to want a large family but now the idea of a large family seems rather exhausting for me. Maybe it's this job but I like that my children have "built in" brothers and sisters but they are not the kind I have to take care of 24/7. We also don't have the space for more children nor the finances to provide for a larger family in a comfortable manner. So a family of four it is!

[daycare]

I think it has to do with the fact that no one can afford ANYTHING!!

I wanted a big family, but cant have one. I do have 3 kids, but I wanted more.

So I will do foster care when my kids are older and out of the house.

Unless you have a great support system, I don't know how families could manage a big family now.

[AnneCordelia]

I have four kids of my own and love our larger family. I grew up as one of five.

[Blackcat31]

I am th eoldest of 6 children, my DH is the middle of a family of 5 boys and each of our parents came from families with 7 or more children.

All of my siblings have two or less children and of my 4 BIL's only 2 have kids. One has 2 kids and one has one child.

Big families are no longer common as the economy does not allow it and I think bigger families were a bit more self sufficient, in how they were raised. One parent usually at home, no daycare needs, families gardened and canned their food etc.

Those all seem to be things of the past and stay at home moms are no longer the norm.

Plus, with even the cheapest daycare rate out there, who could afford to work and have more than 1 or 2 kids in care?

[MrsSteinel'sHouse]

I think it is the de-valuing of traditional marriage, families, and children. It is the promotion of birth control. People have lived through difficult times and still had large families. It is not the economy per se, it is more the quest to have more stuff than children.

[daycare]

I think it is the de-valuing of traditional marriage, families, and children. It is the promotion of birth control. People have lived through difficult times and still had large families. It is not the economy per se, it is more the quest to have more stuff than children.

this is very true...

My grandfather had 18 siblings. They had a huge family so that they could keep the family farm up and running. The more kids, the more help.

I do see that everyone now lives in a world of gadgets and trinkets that were never around before.

Just sitting here thinking about it, my kids have so many devices that I could sell any maybe pay for a semester or 3 at a university.

[Country Kids]

I would have loved to have 6 but we had 4. Now my husband wishes we had more, it was his decision on the 4.

He comes from a large family and I am a single. That was one reason I wanted a big family. My kids wish though they didn't come from one. They feel they could of had much more if there weren't so many children. We have the largest family on my hubs side. None of his siblings wanted a big family.

[Unregistered]

We have 4 kids and still more gagets then we need. But I think because I am the daycare provider and not having to afford childcare, it makes a difference. Our kids are also spaced out enough that it didn't have a drastic affect on the limit of daycare kids we could have in addition to our own. One of my sil has 4 kids too but she only works part time and could bring her kids to work. Another has 3 kids but was a stay at home canning mom while they were young. I think when you have more kids you find a way to make it work, but that it's the fear of not making it work that keeps people from having more then 1 or 2.

[spud912]

I think it is the de-valuing of traditional marriage, families, and children. It is the promotion of birth control. People have lived through difficult times and still had large families. It is not the economy per se, it is more the quest to have more stuff than children.

I think this is exactly the issue. I come from a family of 6 and always wanted a big family myself. The more children I have (I have 2 now and definitely want more), the harder I realize it is to sustain our current level of life. We dropped our cable and auto payments, I quit my job to stay at home, etc.; but if we want more children, there will have to be more cuts. It's all about what you value most in life (not saying that possessions are valued more than your own children; but in essence many people would rather not sacrifice these things for more children). If we want more children, we may have to cut down on things such as vacations, Smart phones, memberships (like the gym or Netflix), new clothing, entertainment, eating out at restaurants, personal toiletries, services, and certain foods. My once grandiose plan of having 6 children has definitely been trimmed down to 3 or 4. Plus, my pregnancies were far from "wonderful experiences" and I sometimes wonder if they were harder on me or my husband .

I remember growing up having to wear hand-me-downs, sharing bedrooms, never watching television, entertaining ourselves outside, taking cheap driving vacations and staying with family and not spending any money on cell phones, memberships, entertainment, restaurants and services. My mom had a garden outside that we would use for fresh fruits and vegetables. She also did a ton of canning and we would always have a large store of food in the cellar. We ate a lot of leftovers and sandwiches for lunches and sometimes dinner. All of our food was made from scratch. The grocery stores did not carry half of the processed food and out-of-season produce so everything we bought was in-season and reasonably priced.

[Springdaze]

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I have 2 and wanted more when I was younger, but now glad I didnt have more. It doesnt have anything to do with money. We arent rich, but if we had more kids, we would just have to make it work. after I had my son, I just felt like that was all I needed. I certainly dont want more stuff than kids, frequently my mom gives me gift cards and has to specifically tell me not to spend them on the kids! Being older when I had kids might have contributed too, I was 34 when I had my son.

I used to feel weird at church with only 2, but now I dont care! I got one for each arm!

[saved4always]

For daycare families only having 1 or 2, I would say it is just too expensive for both parents to work once you have more than 2 kids. I stopped working outside my home after number 3 was born...cost was more than I would bring home.

As to families in general being smaller...most of my friends have at least 2 kids. Many have 3 like me. My sister only has 2 kids but she also was diagnosed with MS after the first so I am sure that factored into her decision. At our church, there are quite a few families with more than 3 kids. It is probably a combo of finances, family values and other factors that make couples decide on how many kids to have. I think it is true that the traditional family is not valued by as many people as it used to be but it is also way more expensive to raise kids today.