What Happened To BIG Families???

[Country Kids]

I just realized what happened to big families-braces! Having 4 children and having all of them needing braces. I paid enough in braces for one year at a university. Well I figure they can model now with those nice straight white teeth and raise the money for college.

[Crazy8]

I do think its a combination of things - the economy, more working moms and women waiting till later in life to have children. I've rarely had a daycare family who remains at just one child though - most are 2 kid families. The 3-4+ kids family is a rarity with daycare families but many of my friends have 3-4 kids.

I disagree with the whole birth control, devaluing of marriage theory but everyone is entitled to their opinion.

Plain and simple we don't live in the world we lived in 20-40 years ago. Which is a good thing for all of us here because if all moms were SAHM's like back in our grandparents day we'd all be out of business.

[momofsix]

I have 6 (all girls, 2 adopted), my sister has 5. The rest of my siblings have 2, 2 and 1. They said they chose to have families so they could give their kids more stuff. (their own words)
Our girls definitely didn't grow up with the brand names, or any of the electronics, vacations, expensive toys...but they are all well adjusted teens and grown-ups even having gone without:: (sadly I can't say the same for all of my nieces/nephews)

[jojosmommy]

I think its far more complex than money.

More moms work. Its a more complex choice to have kids with work schedules, time off, commitments, upcoming promotions or projects etc. Also, time off work with out pay can affect a choice.

Also, back then moms didnt have a choice not to have kids year in year out. Societial norms dont dictate household size like in the past.

Parents are parenting later because of college and costs of college. This was not an issue in the past. If you wait until 30 or 35 to have your first you have naturally decreased the number of kids you can have without intervention.

An opinion of mine is that foods and the environment are changing our bodies at an alarming rate and this undoubtly affects reproduction. I hear of more and more people with infertility.

[cheerfuldom]

I think it is the de-valuing of traditional marriage, families, and children. It is the promotion of birth control. People have lived through difficult times and still had large families. It is not the economy per se, it is more the quest to have more stuff than children.

wowsers....tell it like it is hunny! of course not everyone is like that but I do agree with your point for many people. In fact, I know many parents like this. They don't want to sacrifice ANYTHING for their kids. They are not horrible people but their desire for a certain lifestyle far outweighs anything else.

[MarinaVanessa]

I think it is the de-valuing of traditional marriage, families, and children. It is the promotion of birth control. People have lived through difficult times and still had large families. It is not the economy per se, it is more the quest to have more stuff than children.

My grandmother on my moms side had 12 children, my grandmother on my dad's side had 8. BOTH of my parents remember growing up in hard times and having to work at an early age (like 10-12). Both talked about how only the eldest ever got new clothes and that the clothes was passed down from child to child and how they couldn't afford new toys because most of their income went to food, rent and utilities. They both said that they wouldn't do that to their own kids so they only had 2, myself and my sister.

I wouldn't say that it's a quest to have more stuff but more like information and birth control are more accesible now and parents are more likely to think about how having a large family will impact their family. In most cases (not all, there are exceptions of course) the lower income the family, the less access to information and resources and the larger family they have. Statistically anyway impoverished areas have larger number of children while upper classes have less.

My DH and I have 2 children and are thinking about whether or not to have a third. When we think about the cost of infant supplies, furniture, space (we would want to move out into a larger home before having another baby so that we don't have to squish 3 kids into a 10x10 room), life insurance, health insurance, extracurricular activities, college tuition etc. it's daunting. I would hate to have another child if I couldn't provide at least the these things for each child and that's not including the stuff that we as parents WANT to give them like the awesome toys, trips etc. And our family doesn't wear brand clothes, it's all clearance rack and specials at Kohl's and Target for us, we buy imitation wood furniture, buy groceries and supplies from bulk discount stores, clip coupons etc. Personally for me and my DH having another child means either he or I have to make more money in order to afford all of the things that another child would require and for that reason we choose to wait.

I can't speak for anyone else but from my own experiences in my grandmother's age and even for my parents it was unheard of for the woman to use birth control. In our culture you get pregnant because your husband told you so. My grandmother almost died giving birth to her 6th child and the Dr's told her it was dangerous to have more so they gave her birth control and my grandfather beat her because you simply didn't take birth control when you were married. You just simply didn't deny your husband "his right" to a family. My parents only had 2 kids by choice and people whispered that my mother must have not been able to have more kids (as in there must be something wrong with her and she must be barren) because they didn't have more kids. Looking back on this it sounds harsh and silly but that was the way it was for them.

Nowadays people don't think the same. A woman has more freedom and choice even in my culture and our generation has access to more information without having to leave our homes that families can make decisions based on options available to them. Also a woman's life doesn't revolve around cooking, cleaning, raising children and keeping your husband happy. It's more equal now and women make decisions also and marriage works both ways moreso I think than before. Women have dreams of not only family but of other things also. Having 6 children just doesn't appeal to some women (like me ) and others want nothing better than to live a domestic life and have a large family and the same goes for the men also, some men now don't want lots or any kids at all.

So I think it's more about how we know our options and what's out there so we choose what type of life we want. Long ago women stayed home and took care of the kids and that was it. Times change and things are different now. Yes, I think it has a lot to do with the economy also but people didn't start having only 2 kids just as the economy got bad ... it's been happening for a while now. Or maybe it has a lot to do with the area you live also ... in my area there aren't a lot of people really that have 3 kids or more. I know of one family that has four kids going on their 5th and they are intense God fearing people (not saying this is the reason although they have told me that it's their duty to God). I'm not sure if they were joking or not because with them (they are great people btw) it's hard to know when they're being serious or joking ::. So anyway, I know I was all over the place and I know I ranted but from my experiences I know that a lot of different things contribute to a family choosing to have lots of kids, none at all or just a few.

[Angelsj]

I have eight
I have to agree with the idea that we devalue family. It is sad.

[daycarediva]

I think it is the de-valuing of traditional marriage, families, and children. It is the promotion of birth control. People have lived through difficult times and still had large families. It is not the economy per se, it is more the quest to have more stuff than children.

I think this is exactly right.

[Meeko]

I have eight
I have to agree with the idea that we devalue family. It is sad.

[Mom2Five+]

I am from a family of 6 girls and my husband is an only child. We have 5 (3 adopted) and one of my sisters has 3. The others either have 1 or 2 and talk about me having the most. It is hard but we make it work. I wouldn't change it for the world. They all do have gadgets and we do family trips. With my husband being in the Navy we learned how to budget and save. We have family meetings and decide what we want to do or where we want to go and we all come up with ideas of how we are all going to save and put money away.

[boysx5]

I have five sons and love having a large family most days. Lol I am one of 4 and dh comes from a family of 8. I always wanted a large family from the time I was young girl.

[Sugar Magnolia]

I think it is the de-valuing of traditional marriage, families, and children. It is the promotion of birth control. People have lived through difficult times and still had large families. It is not the economy per se, it is more the quest to have more stuff than children.

I like more stuff personally. I have 2 kids, and they like more stuff too. Oh, and I am too old for more babies, so I go for even more stuff, like motorcycles. Motorcycles are more fun than babies. ::

[jojosmommy]

:confused:Wait... so it is right and good to have lots of kids and wrong and immoral to have only 1,2 or a few??????????????????????

Shouldn't we be praising those who are making the CHOICE to do what fits their family, their life, their income, the impact of many kids on the environment, their individual mental and emotional health, as well as their physical health?

My husband and I planned VERY PURPOSEFULLY to get preganant each time we CHOSE to do so. We thought of many factors, only some of which I listed above. I find it disturbing that some of you are insinuating that I would be more right, more moral, to just keep on having sex without any pre-planning of the consequences. Somehow I am devaluating family because I am an intentional being who is making very intentional choices about my family, and the impact of my choices on everyones future?

[countrymom]

I think it is the de-valuing of traditional marriage, families, and children. It is the promotion of birth control. People have lived through difficult times and still had large families. It is not the economy per se, it is more the quest to have more stuff than children.

I so agree with you.



I'm sorry but this has nothing to do with the economy. It has to do with the me generation. We see it everyday in our business. Parents can't even take care of one kid but will have every gadget possible. Its now about stuff, do you know how many people are in debt and live paycheque to paycheque because they need the newest toy.

I have 4 kids (I have 2 other sisters and dh has 4 siblings) we go to florida every year, they take alot of activities and my house is almost paid off (in 3 or 4 yrs) and we live within our means (thanks dave ramsey) we buy what we can afford and pay cash. And yes, we also have a lot of gadgets in my house too (I just bought another computer)

also I find that there are alot more perks with a large family. My kids always have someone to play with. They always come up with great ideas. But what I find is that they will make friends with anyone and welcome anyone to play with them. One thing I do notice is that they can't stand naughty children. Oh you should see us when we go and cheer each other on, we are so loud.

[Sugar Magnolia]

Seriously, if I have 2 kids already, am NOT living paycheck to paycheck, provide everything my kids need, what is wrong with "stuff"? I work hard, have a happy and healthy family life, so if I want stuff, I buy it. I'm with jojosmommy, size of family is a personal choice, and we should judge not, lest we be judged.