The Straw...

[Crystal]

In defense of my original post, my point was that if you KNOW he will do it, you CANNOT leave him alone. If you are unable to meet that need, then really the only option is to say so and stop caring for the child.

On another note, I was not trying to imply that you were indaquate or doing anything wrong at all.....we all face challenges like these and we have to decide if we can personally handle the challenge or not. If we honestly believe we cannot meet the needs (of both the child AND the provider) then the only ethical thing to do is terminate care. If we do feel we can meet the needs of both, then we do what you did and discuss the issue with the parent and come up with a plan of action. I am glad you are both willing to work on it, for the child's sake. Knowing and ADMITTING that their is an underlying issue is a great first step for Mom too!

[cheerfuldom]

In defense of my original post, my point was that if you KNOW he will do it, you CANNOT leave him alone. If you are unable to meet that need, then really the only option is to say so and stop caring for the child.

On another note, I was not trying to imply that you were indaquate or doing anything wrong at all.....we all face challenges like these and we have to decide if we can personally handle the challenge or not. If we honestly believe we cannot meet the needs (of both the child AND the provider) then the only ethical thing to do is terminate care. If we do feel we can meet the needs of both, then we do what you did and discuss the issue with the parent and come up with a plan of action. I am glad you are both willing to work on it, for the child's sake. Knowing and ADMITTING that their is an underlying issue is a great first step for Mom too!

Thank you for clarifying. I think this post was much more thorough and better explained your opinion without making the OP feel even worse than she already does. I am sure she appreciates you coming back to clarify.

OP, I think you are doing well in handling this as best as possible. I hope there is a solution that allows him to stay with you without further destroying your home.

[MarinaVanessa]

It may be something small and she seemed to take it in at least. She left crying though.

So hard...

I'm feeling a little better at least about the situation... I just really hope it gets better from here.

I am in no way defending DCM here and it could possibly be that she might be playing the "poor me" card to get back into your good graces ... that being said I think that you handled that situation very well.

I would also put myself in that mom's shoes ... it could be that the mom was clinging to that last thread of hope telling herself that her "baby" is normal and that nothing is wrong. Denial is a hard obsticle to overcome because admitting that maybe there is something wrong is a very scary thing. I really hope for your sake and the child that DCM is genuinely sorry and is finally breaking through. Wondering and going through all of the possibilities of what can be wrong with your child is very tough and very scary. It's easier for parents to shrug off and ignore possible signs of issues than to face them head on ... kudos to you and her for trying to work on it. Now all you have to do is make sure that DCM keeps the ball rolling. Worst case scenario is he has something serious but at least he can get early intervention. Best case is that he just has a bad habit and he outgrows it without chewing everything in your home. Keeps your spirits ... and let us know what happens. lovethislovethislovethis

[daycarediva]

I honestly think he has a sensory disorder or PICA. Either way, he needs more help than just you can give. I think what you said to Mom is perfect. You COULD have done a huge disservice to both Mom and baby had you said nothing and let her continue to think everything is ok. It isn't the easiest part of this job, but we are advocates for these kids.

[brookeroo]

I honestly think he has a sensory disorder or PICA. Either way, he needs more help than just you can give. I think what you said to Mom is perfect. You COULD have done a huge disservice to both Mom and baby had you said nothing and let her continue to think everything is ok. It isn't the easiest part of this job, but we are advocates for these kids.

I'm kind of on that page too. Honestly it surprises me that there are still people who think it's even possible this is a habit after all of the things I've explained he's doing. I've had 15+ years of daycare experience and have never seen anything as incessant or compulsive as this child's behavior. I don't think this is something he will grow out of by any means. It is way too ingrained in him.

It's going to be bad news if they do not move forward with this at this point.

[lovemykidstoo]

Great job talking with her. Sounds like the conversation went great. I would definately take the reimbursement and buy a new PNP and not let him use that one. having said that, if he continues to use the PNP that he chewed on is it possible that there is any material where he chewed that could come loose and he could choke on? That would be my concern. If the mom follows through and talks with the doctor then I would keep him and work with her. If she doesn't follow through with appropriate measures to change his behavior, then I would term. I did have a child that would eat sand also like it was ice cream. He eventually stopped and he never did have any medical reason for doing so and is now 10 years old.

[Blackcat31]

I'm kind of on that page too. Honestly it surprises me that there are still people who think it's even possible this is a habit after all of the things I've explained he's doing. I've had 15+ years of daycare experience and have never seen anything as incessant or compulsive as this child's behavior. I don't think this is something he will grow out of by any means. It is way too ingrained in him.

It's going to be bad news if they do not move forward with this at this point.

So what happens in the meantime? Are you still going to be caring for him? Is the mom going to replace you PNP? I wonder if maybe she could bring her PNP every day for him to sleep in so that if anything else gets eaten, it will be hers rather than yours.

I am very glad you are requesting mom have this child evaluating but honestly some evaluations take a ton of time and you don't always get answers immediately so I am curious as to what if going to happen in the meantime.

If I were you, I don't know if I could afford to keep having toys and furniture detstroyed on a daily basis so I really do think that there needs to be some sort of plan of action in place for when ever he decided to chew or eat something. Maybe mom can supply some toys from home that the little guy can use while at daycare.

I don't know, but just wanting to make sure YOU aren't the one who is going to be suffering (financially) while the evaluation and all that stuff gets worked out.

[MyAngels]

I wonder if you could get something like this http://www.amazon.com/Prince-Lionhea...rib+rail+cover to snap over the edges of the playpen to protect the edges from further damage?

Kudos to you for talking to to the mom and maybe getting the ball rolling to figuring out a solution.

[itlw8]

I do not think momm is playing the poor me card . It is hard when your perfect baby turns out to not be so perfect. Even if you think there is a problem it hurts when others see it. I cried alot when ds who is ADD and LD was little.

I saw a show this summer about adults who eat weird things. they also had a small boy who did the same and he was getting some sort of therapy. I would go to the dr and ask. It could be h is still too young for therapy

[My3cents]

I have only half read the replies and do understand where your coming from, but it is normal what he is doing. He is probably getting ready to cut his two year molars. Chewing on things is normal. Babies explore with the mouth. I would either have him be your third arm and not leave his side for a minute, or have a safe area with things he can explore that you expect are not going to live to see another day after this child. I suggest switching things up to find what works best for you and this little explorer. Daycare takes a toll on your home, your things and you, many people are not prepared for this when they start out and think that all kids are like their own.

Best of luck-

[brookeroo]

Well turns out my gut was right... mom sent me a message tonight basically saying that they have been talking for the last week and that they felt he would benefit better in an environment with more older kids and they are putting him in a larger center starting Oct 1.

On top of it, so far, they have not paid me back for the pack and play AND they obviously did not give me the required two weeks notice...which honestly as long as they pay me back for the pack and play I won't even battle.

So I'm sitting here and shaking my head that they are this far in denial and I know they will look no further at what is going on with their child but maybe it will take a center telling them what is going on with him isn't normal for them to come to terms with it. Still hard despite everything. I know it's better for my household and sanity that he goes. I just think they are grasping at straws. So frustrating. I am sad for him that he is not getting the intervention he needs. And apparently I was just supposed to let him eat me out of house and home...

[brookeroo]

And question for anyone who has had someone quit without their two week notice...or owed you for damages.

How did you handle it and how did you make them pay? Did you take them to small claims?

[MyAngels]

And question for anyone who has had someone quit without their two week notice...or owed you for damages.

How did you handle it and how did you make them pay? Did you take them to small claims?

Does your contract have anything in it regarding damages? If not, you may not be able to pursue that successfully.

Do you have language in your contract making them liable for costs of collection? If you do, the easiest way to collect would be to send it to a collection agency that will take smaller accounts. If not, then the best way to collect would be to go to small claims court.

[lovemykidstoo]

What in the world would putting him in an environment with older kids do to help his problem? This mom definately is clueless. Then she can't even call you, she sends a message? UGH I would call her and tell her that you're sad to see him go and she can drop the payment off today.

[EarthyMom]

Before you take it to a collection agency, make sure they have the abillity to report to a credit bureau and plan on doing so after they have the account for 31 days. In addition, know that they will take a nice chunk of what you get payed if they collect. Make sure they don't charge any fees other than their contingent percentage of the account.

In my opinion it is better to go to small claims court. Even if you have no damages clause in your contract she verbally agreed to repay you. This made her liable. If anyone was there to hear that you now have a witness. Also, many people would admit that in court assuming they arent liable from a verbal statement. In the very least you could collect what your contract allows. Once you have a judgement from the court you can attempt to collect it by knowing your rights as a business owner in the FDCPA and FCRA.

If you truly cannot collect anything after small claims courts then going to a collection agency who handles judgements may be your best option. You would want one with an attorney on staff, and one that goes to garnishment.

As a business person, I recommend that you don't **** it up and swallow it. People shouldn't get away with disrespecting your business services. After all you cared for their most precious treasure.

As a side note, I saw the GoodWill store had brand new pack and plays for 60-70 bucks. They were in the original packaging... maybe an option for someone who is short on cash and needs a replacement.

Good luck!