The Straw...

[brookeroo]

What in the world would putting him in an environment with older kids do to help his problem? This mom definately is clueless. Then she can't even call you, she sends a message? UGH I would call her and tell her that you're sad to see him go and she can drop the payment off today.

The messaging thing has been a huge problem with this family for some reason. She alone put me over my texting limit 116 text messages in June. They refuse to do anything verbally over the phone. I've told them SO many times that this is a business and not to text me so now they do Facebook messaging. For whatever reason everything has to be done through messaging or face to face.

So these people I have made a lot of mistakes with. I have learned a lot of "what not to do" kind of things and "what to change" kind of things. They have made me adjust my contracts quite a bit for the future. I won't be accepting anymore Facebook friend requests, will be implementing a fee for texting and giving out only my landline number also changing my contract to reflect damages verbiage, ect.

They are also required to pay me in advance for the week so their payment will be due today.

[MyAngels]

As a business person, I recommend that you don't **** it up and swallow it. People shouldn't get away with disrespecting your business services. After all you cared for their most precious treasure. [

[lovemykidstoo]

The messaging thing has been a huge problem with this family for some reason. She alone put me over my texting limit 116 text messages in June. They refuse to do anything verbally over the phone. I've told them SO many times that this is a business and not to text me so now they do Facebook messaging. For whatever reason everything has to be done through messaging or face to face.

So these people I have made a lot of mistakes with. I have learned a lot of "what not to do" kind of things and "what to change" kind of things. They have made me adjust my contracts quite a bit for the future. I won't be accepting anymore Facebook friend requests, will be implementing a fee for texting and giving out only my landline number also changing my contract to reflect damages verbiage, ect.

They are also required to pay me in advance for the week so their payment will be due today.

Those are good changes. Even though it's usually a bad situation, we are always learning. I had a family recently that kept texting me. I simply ignored it and when they said something at pick up, I said, oh, I don't evan have my cell phone on during the day. you can reach me at my home number. Absolutely I don't have them as my friends on FB. Don't want to cross that line.

[brookeroo]

had a family recently that kept texting me. I simply ignored it and when they said something at pick up, I said, oh, I don't evan have my cell phone on during the day. you can reach me at my home number.

I think I'm going to put something about this on the door tonight.

[countrymom]

I agree with earthy mom, she said it the best.

I too don't understand by putting him in another enviroment that he's going to get better, whatever--she's avoiding the problem. Also, don't let them get away from paying for a pack n play. I priced a new one and the cheapest ones are 60 dollars--thats about 8 diaper changes not including poopy ones.

I also only give parents my land line, no cell phone here. You have a problem they can call me on the house phone, and I have an answering machine too, so if I can't answer they can leave a message. (I also have identa call--I've had parents tell me that they called the house to get out of paying when their number never even appeared on my phone)

[WImom]

And question for anyone who has had someone quit without their two week notice...or owed you for damages.

How did you handle it and how did you make them pay? Did you take them to small claims?

I copied the section of my handbook they signed saying they are required to give me 2 weeks. I'd send that certified along with the invoice. Give them a date it's due but and threaten small claims.

I'd first email them to remind them of 2 weeks notice and see what happens.

[brookeroo]

I copied the section of my handbook they signed saying they are required to give me 2 weeks. I'd send that certified along with the invoice. Give them a date it's due but and threaten small claims.

I'd first email them to remind them of 2 weeks notice and see what happens.

She sent me ANOTHER text today, ("Dr said his blood tests came back normal ") If I wasn't all about sticking to my guns against this texting thing I would have responded back, "Great now you can move forward with having him assessed."

I wrote up the invoice and also added late fees on a per day basis. I had my helper come today and took their check (written for this week only) and cashed it at their bank. I'm giving her the invoice tonight for the pack and play and a copy of the contract that they signed with me showing they are supposed to be giving me two weeks pay or two weeks notice.

I am fully betting that they do not bring him the rest of the week but at this point to me it's better than working it and not getting reimbursed for the pack and play AND not getting my final week on top of it. And then there's all the other damages I let slide all these months... So over it.

This child is STILL calling me "momma" after 6 months of trying to get him to call me by my name.

[Blackcat31]

She sent me ANOTHER text today, ("Dr said his blood tests came back normal ") If I wasn't all about sticking to my guns against this texting thing I would have responded back, "Great now you can move forward with having him assessed."

I wrote up the invoice and also added late fees on a per day basis. I had my helper come today and took their check (written for this week only) and cashed it at their bank. I'm giving her the invoice tonight for the pack and play and a copy of the contract that they signed with me showing they are supposed to give me two weeks pay or two weeks notice.

I am fully betting that they do not bring him the rest of the week but at this point to me it's better than working it and not getting reimbursed for the pack and play AND not getting my final week on top of it. And then there's all the other damages I let slide all these months... So over it.

This child is STILL calling me "momma" after 6 months of trying to get him to call me by my name.

Just because his blood work came bacl normal for now, doesn't mean he is fine. That is only one of many tests he probably needs. Too bad this mom is so against finding the answers for her child.

I am sure the same issues will follow her to the new center too so it will only be a matter of time before she is FORCED to have to find some answers for her child's behavior.

I would absolutely give them an invoice for the two weeks notice as well as the PNP. I would be inclined to not provide any more care to them until Mom agrees to paying what she owes.

If worse comes to worse and you end up fighting them in small claims court, at least the money she paid for this week's care could be used toward a new PNP.

[EarthyMom]

Just by the way she is communicating with you, I dont even neccesary think she addressed this with the Pediatrician. I think she is being snarky and sassy. If she was truly concerned about her child as you are I am sure she would be saying, I have an appointment for dck. Hopefully the Dr can help me look into this further. Routine bloodwork doesn't show a ton of stuff. Sometimes people have to go to a myriad of specialists over several years and still don't get to the bottom of exactly what is wrong. It can be very frustrating and emotional. It certainly isn't something that would have you in the frame of mind that would have you shooting off texts to a daycare worker you are terming with just to prove her wrong, while proving nothing at all!

I respect the veteran daycare workers so much for being long term. The stuff they must come across. Yikes!

[EarthyMom]

P.S. You can't save the world, and I think it is in your best interest to smile, nod, and hand her the bill. Please refrain from losing your cool if DCM does. You are better than that.

[brookeroo]

She just picked him up... I just don't understand. She is so passive aggressive I think.

I said "Hi, how was your day" and she responded.

I said, "well hey, I wanted to let you know the contract stated that I should get a two week notice. I left a copy of it by his coat as well as an invoice for the pack and play." She said, "Ok, that's fine. I couldn't remember if it was a one week notice or two. I can get you those on Friday but I don't have the money right now until I get paid. It's not a problem though" and then quickly led into asking me what I thought about him going to a place with older kids.

I said, "I work with him everyday on his colors, shapes and ABC's along with the other kids." (He can repeat it but has not retained any of it). Which... fine, all kids learn at different levels. She said, well I know you do, I just thought maybe the interaction with other kids his age might help some." I said, "There are kids his age here". She said, well I just think he might do better in a place with MORE kids his age and you have a couple of babies." I wanted to say a lot of things but instead I just shrugged and smiled and said "yeah, I don't know". Because at this point my opinion doesn't hold any weight anyway. It's not even worth the argument as far as I'm concerned. All my response is going to do is deteriorate this more since she didn't take my soft approach well and is now pulling him out...

The other day she said she talked to her uncle who was a dentist and he recommeded that she give him Tylenol everyday because maybe it's tooth pain.

1. I told her about 2 months ago to have his teeth checked as another soft way of saying... "THIS ISN"T NORMAL" She didn't think that was his problem so she didn't want to take him to the dentist.
2. I told her that it's not good for his kidneys and liver to give him Tylenol everyday. Her response was... well maybe motrin then?
3. I said, "He will also gain a tolerance to it... which means when he really needs it... it's probably not going to work for him".
I also wanted to say...
4. OMG WOMAN! if you REALLY think there is a problem with his teeth why! why ....WHY!! would you not have his teeth checked instead of considering pumping him full of medications because we both know he has all his teeth already! Are you kidding me!?
5. GREAT DENTIST!

I left my contract and the invoice with his coat and didn't even bother going over it with her. I should have. I know they will show up on the doorstep with no check expecting me to watch him. I just want them gone...

She just sits there as we are having the conversation and while she holds him gazes lovingly at him... yes... I know you love your son...

[My3cents]

She just picked him up... I just don't understand. She is so passive aggressive I think.

I said "Hi, how was your day" and she responded. I said, "well hey, I wanted to let you know the contract stated that I should get a two week notice. I left a copy of it by his coat as well as an invoice for the pack and play." She said, "Ok, that's fine. I couldn't remember if it was a one week notice or two. I can get you those on Friday but I don't have the money right now until I get paid. It's not a big deal though" and then quickly led into asking me what I thought about him going to a place with older kids.

I said, "I work with him everyday on his colors, shapes and ABC's along with the other kids." (He can repeat it but has not retained any of it). Which... fine, all kids learn at different levels. She said, well I know you do, I just thought maybe the interaction with other kids his age might help some." I said, "There are kids his age here". She said, well I just think he might do better in a place with MORE kids his age and you have a couple of babies." I just shrugged and smiled and said "yeah, I don't know". Because at this point my opinion doesn't hold any weight anyway. It's not even worth the argument as far as I'm concerned. All my response is going to do is deteriorate this more since she didn't take my soft approach well and is now pulling him out...

The other day she said she talked to her uncle who was a dentist and he recommeded that she give him Tylenol everyday because maybe it's tooth pain.

1. I told her about 2 months ago to have his teeth checked as another soft way of saying... "THIS ISN"T NORMAL" She didn't think that was his problem so she didn't want to take him to the dentist.
2. I told her that it's not good for his kidneys and liver to give him Tylenol everyday. Her response was... well maybe motrin then?
3. I said, "He will also gain a tolerance to it... which means when he really needs it... it's probably not going to work for him".
4. OMG WOMAN! if you REALLY think there is a problem with his teeth why! why ....WHY!! would you not have his teeth checked instead of considering pumping him full of medications because we both know he has all his teeth already! Are you kidding me!?
5. GREAT DENTIST!

I left my contract and the invoice with his coat and didn't even bother going over it with her. I should have. I know they will show up on wthe doorstep with no check expecting me to watch him. I just want them gone...

She just sits there as we are having the conversation and while she holds him gazes lovingly at him... yes... I know you love your son...

Contracts states, not contract should state. I know it is just wording but it can make a big difference. Don't you come across as wishy washy- come across as a business women.

She sounds naive and like she just doesn't know, the stuck type. Doesn't want to believe that something could be wrong with her precious. First time parent? Wants the control because she feels she should, but doesn't know beans. Until it is staring her in the face she won't get it. Just my thoughts, I could be way off base.

You can get a pack and play at walmart for $40 Nothing fancy, but mine has held up well to my active kiddo that thinks it is a gymnasium - we are now on a cot and doing well.

If it that bad, end services and take a loss and find a replacement ASAP. I would rather do this then let things get heated and make a bad name for myself, even if it not my fault or issue, word of mouth means a lot to me and keeping things civil would be my goal. I am not a sue happy person and would just want to be done, learned lesson and move on. Everyone is different- this is me. I expect wear and tear and plan for that.

As far as texting goes- hind site but a long time ago I would have told her I don't have unlimited texting so please just call me during such and such hours to talk with me, I use texting for my own children- and I don't use facebook to talk business. Or you could have just upped your cell plan and use it as a tax write off. Three times telling someone something is my limit, then it becomes action. Ignoring the text would have been my route after the third time telling this women. Cell phones today are life tools for some people, like a third arm or xtra brain- some people can't function with out them and some people figure the world has them and uses them the same way. Not so-

Best- hope these little tid bits help

[Willow]

That's not love, that's denial coated in delusion.

Any right minded mother that actually loved their child would have gotten them help for such an issue a looooooooong time ago.




"If I wasn't all about sticking to my guns against this texting thing I would have responded back, "Great now you can move forward with having him assessed." "

But you could have said that, and still remained stuck to your guns.

Heck, I'd still take the opportunity and say it now:

"Again, I'm so glad to hear the bloodwork is back and well, now that you've ruled that out who's doing his early childhood eval? If you need any help locating someone please let me know, I could call my licensor and have a list for you this afternoon!"


Beyond that let her go elsewhere. The problem will absolutely follow him and I would be willing to bet it'll flare to a level you've never even seen with the added stress of a new environment and many more kids.

She sounds like an absolute nut and I'm sure your quality of life will improve drastically. As someone else in this thread pointed out we can't save them all even despite our best efforts. Do what you need to do to wrap this up and move on knowing you did the best you could.

[brookeroo]

So I was really stupid...

I took these people for good people who would keep their word since they are involved in their church and are normally very nice, ect. after I left them the invoice on Tuesday to take home with their things. They came Monday with only payment for one week and said nothing about paying for the pack and play or the final week and so I wrote up the invoice basically saying, "if payment is not brought Tuesday my services will no longer be available as well as a copy of the contract they signed highlighting the fact that they agreed to pay me two weeks notice whether they come or not. I left the invoice and contract and did not go over it with them and explained that she needed to take them and review them. She said that she would and that she would pay me for the pack and play as well as next week on Friday when she got paid but she didn't have the money right now and left with them. I had no witnesses. I didn't say anything about not bringing him. I know that is my biggest mistake and I accept that. I don't need a lecture about it.

From that point on he dropped him off everyday and was on his phone from the time he walked in the door till he left. No payment. Not unexpected but I kind of knew in my gut that they were going to stick me. I was holding out hope that their character was a little better than that...so last night I mentioned that I was planning on having a going away party for him just to see what her reaction would be and nothing... so I knew. She sent me yet again, another text asking me to call her when I had a minute because she couldn't talk to me face to face and she was already crying in the car. I called her after everyone left and no answer. She (they) began sending me messages on facebook throughout the night and it got really ugly.

This was their first message:
"We wanted to give you the 2 weeks notice and have you watch "child" through next week. In the contract it stated that you wanted that notice and we signed agreeing to that. In the contract we signed though it didn't state that we would be responsible for replacing anything such as pac n plays , toys damaged, etc. We believe those are all expenses in running a business and we won't be able to pay for that. We are very sorry that things have happened and we don't want to be leaving on bad terms with you at all. You have been very kind and helpful with "child" and we thank you for that. When you said you were giving him a going away party I nearly started bawling right there! You stated that if we couldn't pay for the pac n play that you wouldn't be able to watch him. If that is going to be the case then we will get it arranged for "child" to be watched tomorrow."

From there I wrote a pretty lengthy response basically stating that they they are only doing this to stick me because I didn't give them the answers they wanted to hear to the questions they asked everyday and that the conversation that I ultimately had to have with them was not one that was easy for me to have and that I did it because I was trying to them and not hurt them. That I felt they knew these things were not normal because they initiated conversations about things they were observing at home. Posting pictures online ect...and that if they truly felt these things were normal they would never have brought them up to begin with.

They responded that he has no problems at home and that he only chews when he is bored like in the mornings when they are still sleeping, ect.

They also said that they interviewed other daycare providers and asked them "all" what their policies are on damage to toys and pack and plays and "every one of them" all said that was a cost of doing business and would not hold the parent responsible for cost or replacement. The went on to give an example that if a lawn mowing company ran over a rock on your property they wouldn't charge the customer. They would eat the cost as cost of doing business. Or if the lawn mower threw a rock into the owners window they would pay for it or insurance would pay for it because it was cost of doing business.

They said that they gave the doctor and "their dentist" (who is their uncle) my entire list "word for word" of things that I was observing and the doctors "chuckled at it and told them they and I just need to continue correcting him and that it was all normal behavior" and their dentist told them it was normal.


So while I'm sure I will get flamed for something that was probably not unforseen and I could have done differently it is a lesson learned in trusting the good in people no matter how good they were in the past or religious they seem. I already realize that I allowed this to happen by allowing him to come the rest of the week without paying me. I've in turn made a lot of changes to my contract regarding final payment of two weeks and the part about damages.

I informed them

"I will not be fighting the $60 but I will be fighting the $100 you are contractually obligated to and will be filing small claims on Thursday if I do not receive certified check via certified mail by Wednesday.

I will file Small Claims on Thursday and I will see you in court based on the date they set with me. By contract you are obligated to to pay it and you signed in agreement of that. I've been through small claims before with my rental property during evictions (also for non payment) so I am familiar with it and I will also include court expenses in the case as well.

They will rule in my favor and it will cost me nothing more than time. Which I can afford.

You can't dispute the care I gave because even up to today you wrote (and have told me to my face on multiple occasions) that you appreciated the care that I gave and (also today) that I was kind and helpful to "child". On top of it you continued to bring him here to my home and within these messages offered to continue to bring him for the next week.

I also want to let you know that should we go to court and I win, (which I will) a judgement will be placed against you both and will remain on both your records. This will lower your credit scores and can also sway the fate of you getting a mortgage or purchasing a car, ect.

I guess this is now a cost of doing business. Good luck to you and your family. Congratulations on keeping the $60."


So, I probably will get a check in the mail. I know they have been talking about purchasing some land and a new home. I can only imagine the condition that the check will be in because they are clearly that immature and their character is not as great as I thought it was all these months but at the end of the day I have to keep reminding myself that I did not do anything wrong to them by telling them how I felt about what was happening with him in my home. And I couldn't think of any other way this could have gone easier unless I just termed them without talking to them about it. It is not my fault how they decided to take it. I never labeled their child. I never gave the things going on with him a term or diagnosis since that is not in my realm. I just said that I did not feel it was a habit and that I felt they needed to look into everything overall. Very frustrating situation to be in when you just cannot win. I don't really see how I could have avoided this. Had I just termed and not discussed this it would have ended the same way.

I spent a lot of time crying last night because I literally could not have done this any softer than I did or try to work with them more than I tried. I cannot think of anything on a verbal basis that I could have done differently during that initial conversation last week to keep them from getting so angry with me and pulling him. They totally think for $100 a week they should pay that and their child should be able to do as he pleases because "it's a cost of doing business"

....I keep taking deep breaths but this heavy feeling just won't go away. I feel so bad for this child.

[countrymom]

your response was so good. The cost of business doesn't mean getting your pnp chewed up so bad that no other child could use it. Also KEEP ALL MESSAGES. I'm not sure, but when is a dentist a certified physican who can tell if its developemetal or not. Don't fret, you are doing a good job. Don't worry when another provider complains of the same thing then maybe something will be done.