The Straw...

[Country Kids]

what she said!!!

BTW I miss chat during out lunch breaks....booo

Me too! Especially while eating apple pie with cheese on it-:::::: I crack myself up-

[Blackcat31]

I just dont see how you could offer 100% supervision being the only provider and having other kids in care. Trust me, I try my hardest to do so, but it's next to impossible.

BUT I do agree with what you are saying. I do agree that this child needs to be 100% supervised, I just don't think he is in the right place to have that.

She is trying and I think that is all that really matters

I don't disagree with the fact the OP is trying. I know she is and I bet this is a tough situation to be in. I do feel for her and I feel for the child. He is obviously not gettting the help or intervention he needs.

I have 3 rooms in my daycare home. I have mirrors, monitors and eyes on the back of my head (). Every child I have in care is within my eye site at ALL times so 100% supervision is not impossible.

I really can't think of many situations where a child would be outside of your direct line of vision. At least none that happen here, with the exception of the bathroom but the only kids I allow in there with the door shut are those hwo are old enough to be left for a couple minutes without my eyes on them and that is 2 of my current 12.

My set up allows for direct supervision during the times Country Kids mentioned with the exception of myself using the bathroom but like I said earlier, that isn't a long enough time period for distruction to happen.

[daycare]

I don't disagree with the fact the OP is trying. I know she is and I bet this is a tough situation to be in. I do feel for her and I feel for the child. He is obviously not gettting the help or intervention he needs.

I have 3 rooms in my daycare home. I have mirrors, monitors and eyes on the back of my head (). Every child I have in care is within my eye site at ALL times so 100% supervision is not impossible.

I really can't think of many situations where a child would be outside of your direct line of vision. At least none that happen here, with the exception of the bathroom but the only kids I allow in there with the door shut are those hwo are old enough to be left for a couple minutes without my eyes on them and that is 2 of my current 12.

My set up allows for direct supervision during the times Country Kids mentioned with the exception of myself using the bathroom but like I said earlier, that isn't a long enough time period for distruction to happen.

see I have not been doing this long enough to have the eyes in the back of the head...

You got me there.::::

[saved4always]

He sounds more like a puppy than a child.

I would term (after they pay you for the pnp). If you add up all the damage this child has done and how much it is going to cost you for massages and doctor's appointments to deal with all the stress, it is not worth it to keep him.

[Country Kids]

I don't disagree with the fact the OP is trying. I know she is and I bet this is a tough situation to be in. I do feel for her and I feel for the child. He is obviously not gettting the help or intervention he needs.

I have 3 rooms in my daycare home. I have mirrors, monitors and eyes on the back of my head (). Every child I have in care is within my eye site at ALL times so 100% supervision is not impossible.

I really can't think of many situations where a child would be outside of your direct line of vision. At least none that happen here, with the exception of the bathroom but the only kids I allow in there with the door shut are those hwo are old enough to be left for a couple minutes without my eyes on them and that is 2 of my current 12.

My set up allows for direct supervision during the times Country Kids mentioned with the exception of myself using the bathroom but like I said earlier, that isn't a long enough time period for distruction to happen.

See though, your able to supervise 100% of the time as it sounds like you have an open floor plan. To say though that a provider should be able to supervise 100% of the time isn't a fair statement because not everyone has the mirrors, monitors and most have walls in their homes that don't allow for it.

[lovemykidstoo]

That would be really tough for me to supervise 100% during naptime unlessI was sitting in the actual room with them the whole time. My daycare is in my home and I use 3 rooms plus the kitchen. the room that they sleep in is down the hallway. I check on them all the time and I can hear them. Maybe if you don't want to term them you could tell the parents that you can keep him but ONLY if they purchase one of those cameras with the little tv on it so you can watch him that way. That way no matter where you are, you can see if he starts standing up and chewing.

[Blackcat31]

See though, your able to supervise 100% of the time as it sounds like you have an open floor plan. To say though that a provider should be able to supervise 100% of the time isn't a fair statement because not everyone has the mirrors, monitors and most have walls in their homes that don't allow for it.

No, but to care for a child who requires 100% supervision is not fair either.

THAT was the point I was trying to make.

There are many providers who are not capable to supervise directly at ALL times, due to the set up or their house or whatever, but in those cases they don't keep kids that require that kind of supervision because there would be too much liability involved.

[brookeroo]

So I wrote up an invoice and I put together a list of all these things that have been going on so that I could talk to her when she got here. Since I'm not as tough as nails as I should be sometimes I just met her at the door and after we said our "hello"'s instead of handing her the invoice I tried the soft approach first and I said, "well.... he chewed up my pack and play today." She looks at me kind of taken aback. I go on, "It's fraying along the bar. I will keep using it for him since he's already started in on it..." She responded, "So what do you want to do? Do you want mine?" I said, "that or reimbursement. The little things, I can see past but when it's big stuff it's too expensive to replace all the time." She said, "I understand".

She picks her son up and hugs him...and looks at me with tears in her eyes and said, "I'm sorry! I really don't want him ruining your things!" I said, "It's ok we just need to figure out what's going on with him because I think this is way bigger than just a habit. I could be something that is able to be helped... a deficiency or lead poisoning ... or worst case it may be something that is bigger but I would feel better about this situation if we were working to resolve it than to allow it to continue because it's not good for anyone involved. If you want I can put together a list of things I've been seeing to go over with the doctor." She said for me to email me that to her tonight and how much I want reimbursed for the pnp. I told her that he can obviously function in a group for the most part. He plays well with the other kids so lets just get it figured out. It may be something small and she seemed to take it in at least. She left crying though.

So hard...

I'm feeling a little better at least about the situation... I just really hope it gets better from here.

[Blackcat31]

So I wrote up an invoice and I put together a list of all these things that have been going on so that I could talk to her when she got here. Since I'm not as tough as nails as I should be sometimes I just met her at the door and after we said our "hello"'s instead of handing her the invoice I tried the soft approach first and I said, "well.... he chewed up my pack and play today." She looks at me kind of taken aback. I go on, "It's fraying along the bar. I will keep using it for him since he's already started in on it..." She responded, "So what do you want to do? Do you want mine?" I said, "that or reimbursement. The little things, I can see past but when it's big stuff it's too expensive to replace all the time." She said, "I understand".

She picks her son up and hugs him...and looks at me with tears in her eyes and said, "I'm sorry! I really don't want him ruining your things!" I said, "It's ok we just need to figure out what's going on with him because I think this is way bigger than just a habit. I could be something that is able to be helped... a deficiency or lead poisoning ... or worst case it may be something that is bigger but I would feel better about this situation if we were working to resolve it than to allow it to continue because it's not good for anyone involved. If you want I can put together a list of things I've been seeing to go over with the doctor." She said for me to email me that to her tonight and how much I want reimbursed for the pnp. I told her that he can obviously function in a group for the most part. He plays well with the other kids so lets just get it figured out. It may be something small and she seemed to take it in at least. She left crying though.

So hard...

I'm feeling a little better at least about the situation... I just really hope it gets better from here.

Hun, you did the right thing. This child needs to be assessed and perhaps this was the situation that forced mom's hand. Good for you and good for this child.

I like that you are willing to work with her and try to record and document the things you have had happen. I am sure it will be of great help to the person seeing him.

You did what you can and all you can do now is support mom in her quest for answers and not leave the little guy anywhere he can eat his surroundings.

Hang in there. Stuff like this happens. It shouldn't feel like a reflection on you. You did the best you could so don't beat yourself up.

At least you got the mom to pay attention and have some action. Good job!

I would continue to let this little guy use the PNP he already started in on and just be firm and quick with intervening if you see him start to gnaw away at anything else.

Hang in there. ((((hugs)))) to you for dealing. Conversations with parents can be uncomfortable but you did it!!! happyface

[daycare]

So I wrote up an invoice and I put together a list of all these things that have been going on so that I could talk to her when she got here. Since I'm not as tough as nails as I should be sometimes I just met her at the door and after we said our "hello"'s instead of handing her the invoice I tried the soft approach first and I said, "well.... he chewed up my pack and play today." She looks at me kind of taken aback. I go on, "It's fraying along the bar. I will keep using it for him since he's already started in on it..." She responded, "So what do you want to do? Do you want mine?" I said, "that or reimbursement. The little things, I can see past but when it's big stuff it's too expensive to replace all the time." She said, "I understand".

She picks her son up and hugs him...and looks at me with tears in her eyes and said, "I'm sorry! I really don't want him ruining your things!" I said, "It's ok we just need to figure out what's going on with him because I think this is way bigger than just a habit. I could be something that is able to be helped... a deficiency or lead poisoning ... or worst case it may be something that is bigger but I would feel better about this situation if we were working to resolve it than to allow it to continue because it's not good for anyone involved. If you want I can put together a list of things I've been seeing to go over with the doctor." She said for me to email me that to her tonight and how much I want reimbursed for the pnp. I told her that he can obviously function in a group for the most part. He plays well with the other kids so lets just get it figured out. It may be something small and she seemed to take it in at least. She left crying though.

So hard...

I'm feeling a little better at least about the situation... I just really hope it gets better from here.

great job..... I bet that was a really hard thing for you to do.....

trust me when I tell you that it will get easier.....Just know where you stand in all of this and everyone else will know their place too...

[countrymom]

she's playing the poor me, let me cry and make you feel sorry for me now. This isn't something that happened overnight, this is something that has been going on for a long time. Even his parents have seen him do it. He needs help, I bet you that he's low on iron. I had a kid, no joke that at home he was caught drinking the maple syrup out of the fridge, he ate sand like it was a meal and the big kicker he would like the oil stains in my driveway----his mother has witnessed all of it, gave me every excuse. His behavior is now so out of control, that they don't know what to do, he's only 4, its scary to think what is going to happen when he's 5 or 6 or even 10. I have no idea why they won't bring him in and get him assessed. I know only have him for a half hour after school.

[Sugar Magnolia]

You did the right thing!!!

I wonder if the frayed edge could be considered a hazard in any way? If you don't think it is, and mom agrees, why not let him continue to use this one? Let her buy you a new one and put it away until he is gone or out of this whacky chew phase.

I kinda think you would prefer to term him, but the income concern is stopping you. I totally get that, I have been there before. I hope so much you rent out your rental house, I hope you get some new clients. I know you care about the little guy, I know you care about keeping clients too. I am kinda with your husband too, gently nudge them out and let them decide to leave. Please do let them know that you will invoice for expensive destruction.

Mom wasn't crying to make you feel bad or feel sorry or her, in my opinion. I think she was genuinely sorry. Maybe she finally recognized he has a problem, that has got to be tough on any mom. Its her baby.

[daycare]

I wonder if the frayed edge could be considered a hazard in any way? If you don't think it is, and mom agrees, why not let him continue to use this one? Let her buy you a new one and put it away until he is gone or out of this whacky chew phase.

I kinda think you would prefer to term him, but the income concern is stopping you. I totally get that, I have been there before. I hope so much you rent out your rental house, I hope you get some new clients. I know you care about the little guy, I know you care about keeping clients too. I am kinda with your husband too, gently nudge them out and let them decide to leave. Please do let them know that you will invoice for expensive destruction.

Mom wasn't crying to make you feel bad or feel sorry or her, in my opinion. I think she was genuinely sorry. Maybe she finally recognized he has a problem, that has got to be tough on any mom. Its her baby.

i do think that the mom is sorry.... I recall having a family that the boy was having seziures. It was the kind where there was really not much evidence, except that the child would allof a sudden stare off into outter space and then I would see him drool. As soon as I would call his name, he would snap out of it.

I never really brought it up, because the parents didnt. Well one day the dad asked me about it and I confirmed it. He started crying. I think that because no one else saw it as a problem, they were in denial of it.

Like saying if know one else see it, then maybe it really isn't a problem after all.

[Heidi]

I know that the playpen would now be considered a hazard here. Maybe you could have her chip in it's equivelant value and buy a supergate, then lay him on a sleeping bag in that. He may be able to make "teeth marks" in the supergate, but I don't think he can chew through it to the point that it's another safety hazard.

[Heidi]

So I wrote up an invoice and I put together a list of all these things that have been going on so that I could talk to her when she got here. Since I'm not as tough as nails as I should be sometimes I just met her at the door and after we said our "hello"'s instead of handing her the invoice I tried the soft approach first and I said, "well.... he chewed up my pack and play today." She looks at me kind of taken aback. I go on, "It's fraying along the bar. I will keep using it for him since he's already started in on it..." She responded, "So what do you want to do? Do you want mine?" I said, "that or reimbursement. The little things, I can see past but when it's big stuff it's too expensive to replace all the time." She said, "I understand".

She picks her son up and hugs him...and looks at me with tears in her eyes and said, "I'm sorry! I really don't want him ruining your things!" I said, "It's ok we just need to figure out what's going on with him because I think this is way bigger than just a habit. I could be something that is able to be helped... a deficiency or lead poisoning ... or worst case it may be something that is bigger but I would feel better about this situation if we were working to resolve it than to allow it to continue because it's not good for anyone involved. If you want I can put together a list of things I've been seeing to go over with the doctor." She said for me to email me that to her tonight and how much I want reimbursed for the pnp. I told her that he can obviously function in a group for the most part. He plays well with the other kids so lets just get it figured out. It may be something small and she seemed to take it in at least. She left crying though.

So hard...

I'm feeling a little better at least about the situation... I just really hope it gets better from here.

You did a great job handling the situation! No one wants to think that there is something "wrong" with their child. Hopefully, with a doctor's help it can be figured out.