3 hour parent visit 3x a week

[Meyou]

I do a phase in over a week with each new child. I give set times for the family to arrive and leave. The first 1/2 day a parent stays, the second 1/2 day a parent stays if they wish and the third day includes nap and the parent doesn't stay but picks up soon after nap. I encourage the parents to fade into the background and try to disappear and observe. It works very well for me.

[MaritimeMummy]

Nope, I don't do that.

I always recommend that the child come to me for a first day on either a parent's vacation day, day off, or during a vacation, or if the parents are going back to work after parental/maternity leave, to being care 2 weeks before going back to work.

Depending on the child's age, we make a short day of it. Under 1 year (which hasn't come to happen yet that I've had an under-1-year-old in my home day care) would stay 2 hours. Between 1 and 2 years stays for 3-5 hours, depending on whether they have been in care before or not.

Second day and for the rest of the week, it's a half day at 5 hours, unless DCK had a horrible first day, the we re-do day 1.

If the enrolling child is to be full time, the first week we do 2-3 days, whatever seems more comfortable to the child. We then play it by ear with the second week.

My house is just too small to have another adult here, especially with the age range of kids that I have. 2 of them have adjusted very well here BUT if someone comes to visit they are reminded that they are without their parents and begin to cry for them. Makes it hard for everyone concerned.

[saved4always]

Nope, I don't do that.

I always recommend that the child come to me for a first day on either a parent's vacation day, day off, or during a vacation, or if the parents are going back to work after parental/maternity leave, to being care 2 weeks before going back to work.

Depending on the child's age, we make a short day of it. Under 1 year (which hasn't come to happen yet that I've had an under-1-year-old in my home day care) would stay 2 hours. Between 1 and 2 years stays for 3-5 hours, depending on whether they have been in care before or not.

Second day and for the rest of the week, it's a half day at 5 hours, unless DCK had a horrible first day, the we re-do day 1.

If the enrolling child is to be full time, the first week we do 2-3 days, whatever seems more comfortable to the child. We then play it by ear with the second week.

My house is just too small to have another adult here, especially with the age range of kids that I have. 2 of them have adjusted very well here BUT if someone comes to visit they are reminded that they are without their parents and begin to cry for them. Makes it hard for everyone concerned.

This has been my experience with some kids, too. Some children I have had did not like adults who are not familiar with them and would be a wreak if a "strange" adult stayed for a morning or a week. It is just too disruptive. Plus, I was providing childcare only...I did not do a preschool program. I felt no need to look into European programs or any other philosophies of programs. I did what worked for me and my parents were fine with that.

[Meeko]

From my own experience in the past:

From the child's point of view, as long as Mommy is there...the provider is not in charge. Mommy is. That's the natural order of life. So they can go to Mommy and ask/demand whatever they want.

Then Mommy either has to look at the provider for guidance (very confusing for the child) or decide that as the parent, they can OK something that is against the daycare rules.

If the child is very nervous, they will cling to Mommy and the provider is the stranger. Who would we like to comfort us? Our mother or a stranger? Of course we all want Mom!

I want the children to learn to come to ME when they feel sad/lonely/scared. As long as Mom is there, that's not going to happen.

I tell the parents that is is very important that the child learn to trust ME and come to ME for comfort. So the sooner they leave and let that process start the better.

I now do not allow parents to have any contact with children other than their own and so their child needs to be in the playroom with the other kids and learning to settle down without Mom there.

And I am sad to say that many parents seem to not be happy until their child is clinging to them and crying. Must make them feel wanted and ease the pain of leaving them or something. I've had happy kids run in to play and then have a parent who will make sad faces/ demand a ton of hugs etc until the kid finally cries....THEN they leave......

[Country Kids]

How would a parent even do this if they have to work? I can't see any of my parents taking 1/2 a day for a week to come to childcare.

For the poster in Germany-do the moms work or do they put them in for socialization and are able to stay because of being SAHM.

[MizzCheryl]

I really enjoyed reading the different points of view.
It is amazing how we can do things so differently sometimes but all in all it still works for us as individuals. Thanks for sharing all these great ways to introduce kids to child care.

[nothingwithoutjoy]

How would a parent even do this if they have to work? I can't see any of my parents taking 1/2 a day for a week to come to childcare.

Yes, they take time off work.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

We do not do phase in. I have had some children attend for 3/4 of the day prior to coming full-time, or 3/4 of the day prior to attending part-time. The parent has never been present.

[daycare]

From my own experience in the past:

From the child's point of view, as long as Mommy is there...the provider is not in charge. Mommy is. That's the natural order of life. So they can go to Mommy and ask/demand whatever they want.

Then Mommy either has to look at the provider for guidance (very confusing for the child) or decide that as the parent, they can OK something that is against the daycare rules.

If the child is very nervous, they will cling to Mommy and the provider is the stranger. Who would we like to comfort us? Our mother or a stranger? Of course we all want Mom!

I want the children to learn to come to ME when they feel sad/lonely/scared. As long as Mom is there, that's not going to happen.

I tell the parents that is is very important that the child learn to trust ME and come to ME for comfort. So the sooner they leave and let that process start the better.

I now do not allow parents to have any contact with children other than their own and so their child needs to be in the playroom with the other kids and learning to settle down without Mom there.

And I am sad to say that many parents seem to not be happy until their child is clinging to them and crying. Must make them feel wanted and ease the pain of leaving them or something. I've had happy kids run in to play and then have a parent who will make sad faces/ demand a ton of hugs etc until the kid finally cries....THEN they leave......

I agree with this 100%

I know that mom's feel guilty about having to leave their child with us so it does make them feel good to see their LO cling on to them and cry for dear life. While I know I dislike it when mom's do it, I am not in their shoes and don't have to leave my LO with anyone.

I have had a situation where a mom tried to stay and it was a straight disaster... I almost did not sign the client on because I could not keep control of the kids while mom was here breaking all of my rules and the kids started to follow suit.

I do think that those of you that can do a phase in service is wonderful option to have to offer parents. With the program that I have and by myself most of the time, there is no way that I could give all of my attention to a parent and new child.

[DBug]

I've had several parents ask, and I allow it as long as the child is completely registered (which means I have all of the parent's contact info on file, in case something were to happen). I tell them that I generally do transitions on two consecutive days. The first day, mom & child (NOT dad, for my own level of comfort) stay from 9am to 11am. This covers potty routine, snack time, craft & circle time, so they both get a good idea of the way things flow. The second day, just the child stays from 9am to 11am. The third day, the child comes on whatever his or her actual schedule will be.

Most of my parents ask, but only a few have actually done it. I don't find it too disruptive for my kids, and the fact that it's only a couple of hours makes it much easier to deal with.

I think it's finding whatever works for you and your program, and then making that the procedure to follow with everyone.

[Heidi]

In Europe EU is it required the first 3-4 weeks the parents to be there w/the child. example If you find a Kindergarten in Germany and they will not do it ,it will be bad practice for the Kindergarten (preschool) .The first 3-5 days for 1-3 hours day ,and then in the second week(not on Monday`s) the parent can go put still have to be in the building ,then if the teacher/provider tells the parent they can go for about 30min. ,next day a little longer.... .
Its for the child to get used to the new place and all the new stuff, and children/teachers/providers..... they have found small children are not as often sick if they get placed the easy way into a new place.
I hope this helps too. I only know about it becouse I do childcare in Germany not on base and follow this requiredments. I move a lot ,my husband is a service member.
I think after I have seen it ,its wirly helps the children and also you will meet the parent better and see if you a good fit.I have a chair were the parent sits and the child can go to, the parent is not aloud to play with onther children in my care.

Hallo! Willkommen!

[Heidi]

Yes, they take time off work.

...the reason they are using childcare in the first place is so that they can work....



As for the German Poster, she is talking about Kindergarten-the german equivilent of preschool. Most children in Germany stay home with their mothers for at least a year (long maternity leaves) and then often, a family member will care for them until kindergarten.

There is a very different transition for a child who has been with mom or grandma at home for 3 or 4 years, than for most children here, who are often in fulltime daycare as infants already.

I don't disagree with nothingbutjoy at all, just not thinking it would work for us here. Of course, each situation is unique, and I have been known to make exceptions to things before.

[Blackcat31]

I have allowed parents to stay and observe our routine but I don't allow them to do this while their own child is present.

That is a whole set of problems I don't wish to get into. I am it can be beneficial for the child but in most cases of where parents ask, it is usually for THEM not necessarily for the child...kwim?

I know it is acceptable to do in many preschools but I am a family child care provider that offers a preschool program. BIG difference.