No Appreciation

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  • MarinaVanessa
    Family Childcare Home
    • Jan 2010
    • 7211

    #16
    I guess this is the reason why I am hard on my daughter. Everybody thinks that I'm harsh with her (she's 5) but I see kids nowadays and am just amazed at how they treat their peers, their belongings and their superiors. I would never dream of ever talking back to my parents when I was growing up. I feared the consequences. Why? Because my parents were serious about it and consistent and never cut us any slack. We knew the rules and knew not to disobey them. We had to work hard for everything. We knew that if we were good we would get trips, sleepovers, rewards and love. My parents let us suffer from our consequences even if it hurt them or broke their hearts. When my mom told me not jump off of furniture and I did it anyway and I hurt myself she didn't rush over and coddle me. All I got was "Well, you shouldn't of been jumping on the couch" or "What have i told you? I don't want to hear it". When I disobeyed she punished. She gave long speaches, took belongings, she grounded, took away priveledges and sometimes spanked. Then my dad came home and I would get it all over again. They'd let me suffer the consequence and then later came to me and reminded me with all the love of a Parent's heart that the rules are in place to keep us safe. I knew growing up that if ever did anything stupid that landed me in jail that I would not be calling them for help. I knew that they'd leave me in there to take my punishment. It's not until later that I realized that all my mother wanted to do was scoop me up and hold me and make my hurts go away, but in the end she knew that showing me boundaries and consequences was a better way of loving me. That by showing me how the real world works and guiding me to be a self-sufficient, contributing adult was the best way for her to be a mother.

    Kids don't get that now. Most kids talk back, throw tantrums, destroy their belongings, are inconsiderate and disrespectful. I don't tolerate it. My 9 year old niece hates me. With a passion. Why? Because I always have all of the cool toys and fun games and delicious treats and all of the other kids get to play with them and get gifts but not her. Why? Because she's a little $H!t. She's outright mean to everyone and listens to no one. I have rules in my house that she doesn't follow and my fiance and I check her each time until she doesn't know what to do with herself. And who's fault is that? My cousins. Because they doted on her since birth and made her believe that she was a little princess. She has actually come over to my house and told me that she didn't have to listen to me because she was the princess. My response? "Oh yeah? Well here's a reality check honey. This is my castle and I'm the queen here so if you don't like it get back into your pumpkin and go back to your kingdom because I reign here." Mean? maybe. But Myself and my fiance are the only people she doesn't talk back to now. She avoids us like the plague but when we are near her she says please and thank you whether we are in our house or at hers. Parents just need to put their foot down and say enough is enough.

    Comment

    • nannyde
      All powerful, all knowing daycare whisperer
      • Mar 2010
      • 7320

      #17
      Originally posted by Golden Rule
      I love your post and it does explain one part of the spectrum that we deal with daily.... I see this, too, and it breaks my heart.

      My hope was to simply lighten the mood and try to rebuild "community".

      I am in a small "very southern" town and deal with mostly mothers in their 20's whom are raised to believe that if you are not married with kids by 30 you are a failure.... When "happily ever after" does not happen they are a bit lost and need a little help to re-focus.

      I did not intend to offer an easy out, just another cultural viewpoint. I love reading your responses and am often nodding in agreement with an occasional ::...
      Aw thanks Golden

      I know your suggestions come from a good heart.
      http://www.amazon.com/Daycare-Whispe...=doing+daycare

      Comment

      • swaddlebees
        Mama Bee
        • May 2010
        • 42

        #18
        golden rule, you just described my town . I live in a small rural soth ga town and nearly all my clients have always been single moms...

        Comment

        • professionalmom
          Daycare.com Member
          • May 2010
          • 429

          #19
          Originally posted by nannyde
          I don't ever deal with schedules like that. I don't keep kids for more than nine hours. If you have a young child and you need to work then you have to figure out how you can fit school into that without making it so that you litterally don't have your kid at all during the working week except for overnight. It doesn't pay to advance your education when you are giving up nearly all of their childhood awake time by doing it.

          I have had a few single parents who have tried to do work and school both but never full time for both. Even ones with part time additional school or work it usually failed. The ones who were successful with school only had school.

          I get someone trying to improve their lives with education but I don't get someone having a child in care 16 hours a day 5 days a week. It can't work out even if you have the best day care on the planet.
          You are very right about those long hours. What was really bad was that the DCB I mentioned only came 4 days a week (15 hr, 12 hrs, 15 hrs, & 4 hrs) because that maxed out the highest number of hours our state allows for subsidy. The mom would have had to pay for all the overtime hours (which she couldn't afford). So on the other days, he stayed with a relative. Maybe that is one of the reasons DHS puts a max of 90 hours every 2 weeks for subsidy. I never thought of it that way. Maybe they are trying to limit the amount of time parents are away from their kids. It really is sad for the kids though.

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