Same Mom, Do You Find this Rude??

[nannyde]

Open door policy means that the parent can come at anytime during hours of care to see their child it does not mean that the door needs to be unlocked. When I have my inspections they know that my door is locked even during care hours.

I do not know the back ground on all the parents that have ever been in care but I do know that 2 different fathers have been in jail. The one ended up serving time while his daughter was in my care for drugs & theft. This same dad I had found wondering threw rooms of my home that he did not need to be before he caught for his behavior.

On a different forum that I go to someone was talking about a "salesman" that went to her house & made a comment to her about having the door locked. Now why/how would that "salesman" know it was locked if he did not try it 1st? Later she talked to her neighbors to find out that this "saleman" skipped the homes that a there was a guy (husbands) outside working in the garage or yard. I have kids in care & to me it just makes sense to be safe & not sorry.

Yeah just because someone has a kid it doesn't mean they are safe to be around your other day care kids, your kids, or unsupervised on your property. We would all like to put the "umbrealla" of safe parent on all parents but it just isn't true. I can and do do a criminal check on my day care parents before I allow an interview BUT it is only for my State.

I've done home child care for nearly 17 years and I've never had a parent come in my house unnanounced. They know before the interview that my doors are locked at all times. I have my kid here and that's reason enough. I'm his parent and I say NO to him being in the home with unlocked doors. I dont think it's safe for him so being the parent... I have the right to keep my child safe. If it's a choice between what they want for their child and what I want for mine... mine will always come first. I haven't had that issue though because my day care parents would NOT like their child to be here all day with the doors unlocked. They all... individually... would like for THEM to be the ones who could come in unnanounced but they wouldn't like it if the other day care parents and anybody else who wanted to to come in any time they wanted. Can't have that both ways.

My State has recently published our names, address, license number, AND a map search for all home day cares. Putting a reg in saying that we are required to keep our doors unlocked would essentially be giving society a searchable list by location of thousands of women home alone with a group of kids and an unlocked door. That's SO unsafe.

I'm REALLY anxious to see the actual regulation Crystal is referring to. I'm interested in the actual wording. Once she sites that then I can do a little research on whether or not that has been litigated. I don't see my State doing this because the Union would have a field day with something so obviously unsafe.

[Crystal]

Sorry OP for this going off topic....not my intention at all, I was only replying to your post when this got turned to me.

The state regs do not spell it out for you. The only thing you will see there is that, because I am licensed for 14 children, I have to have a fire inspection by the local fire marshall. The fire marshall does not allow doors to be locked because they are emergency exits in the event of a fire. This also varies county to county. There is nothing on-line that spells that out for you,so you'll just have to take my word for it, or not believe me.....

I have been in business 13 years and have never locked my doors. I realize that it would be considered safer by many to keep them locked. I realize "open-door policy" does not mean unlocked doors in all states/counties, but it does here.

I have also never had a parent have an issue with it.....of course if they do not like it, they could choose to go with another provider, but that has never happened, and all families are told at our initial meeting that the door is unlocked and they are welcome to come in, unnanounced, at any time of the day, so long as their child is here or they are dropping off.

On side note, re. safety, I do have a dog and my husband works with me, so I do feel a bit safer with those factors considered.

[Golden Rule]

Part of providing a safe environment is locking the doors IMHO. My parents would go through the roof if they found them unlocked. They are allowed in my home at any time, most have even "sub'ed" for me when my family was sick.....

I also check ID on family members I have not met and make a verbal confirmation at time of pick up..... I guess I am over protective.

I get riled up with folks peeking in windows, cannot imagine what I'd do with someone just walking in :: So yes, it is beyond rude to me.....

[laundryduchess@yahoo.com]

as far as that goes, my doorknob is locked from the outside but will open from inside,.. maybe that could work for you. Personally in Indiana,... I lock mine anytime I know noone is coming or someone new is parked in the neighborhood. If someone has a garage sale,.. etc. Anything that would welcome strangers to the area. If lic has an issue with it they can kiss my hootie. If parents have a problem, they can do the same. My responsibility to the kids I keep goes above their "issues". As far as regs,....I cant have a door that has to have special knowledge or equipment to open,.. like the safety door knobs, you have to squeeze to open, or the key deadbolts, only the knob ones.

Open door means they are welcome to come ANYTIME I have their kid in care,.. it doesnt mean the door has to be unlocked all the time.

Sorry OP for this going off topic....not my intention at all, I was only replying to your post when this got turned to me.

The state regs do not spell it out for you. The only thing you will see there is that, because I am licensed for 14 children, I have to have a fire inspection by the local fire marshall. The fire marshall does not allow doors to be locked because they are emergency exits in the event of a fire. This also varies county to county. There is nothing on-line that spells that out for you,so you'll just have to take my word for it, or not believe me.....

I have been in business 13 years and have never locked my doors. I realize that it would be considered safer by many to keep them locked. I realize "open-door policy" does not mean unlocked doors in all states/counties, but it does here.

I have also never had a parent have an issue with it.....of course if they do not like it, they could choose to go with another provider, but that has never happened, and all families are told at our initial meeting that the door is unlocked and they are welcome to come in, unnanounced, at any time of the day, so long as their child is here or they are dropping off.

On side note, re. safety, I do have a dog and my husband works with me, so I do feel a bit safer with those factors considered.

[Daycare Mommy]

I keep the doors locked at all times. My feeling about it is that it's my home still and not a full blown center, so I don't have to keep my door open. I mean think about it, I am only 1 person alone with 7 very young children to protect. And hearing about home invasions (even some in home daycare) is too scary to think about leaving them unlocked.

As for the parents being suspicious, I have my curtains open anytime the kids are here and awake, so the parents may not be able to walk right in, but they can see straight through the house from our street, yard, or driveway. I may pull the sheers closed when I'm dancing around with them, but other than that, no secrets here!

Also there are doorknobs that you can lock the outside and not the inside handle. Maybe that'd be an acceptable option for those with regs state that fire exits must be unlocked?

[Daycare Mommy]

laundry duchess beat me to it by a minute. haha

[Janet]

Locking doors

For myself, locking the door is more of a hassle for me, but the way that my house is laid out, there is never a need for the parents or kids to go downstairs. I can just shut the door to my downstairs family room and my bedroom which is downstairs if I want to. I live in a no outlet subdivision and the street I live on only has 3 houses on it. My neighborhood is tiny and everybody knows everybody so we are all hyper aware of people who don't live here or go to my daycare, . I'm lucky in that way. "Open Door" policies are not policies preventing the provider from locking her doors. It just means that the parent always has access to the child. Nothing about not keeping doors unlocked. I don't care if families knock or not, one family does but the rest don't. I've told them all that they can just come on in, but it was my choice to tell them that. I have a gate at the entrance to my daycare space and if it's closed, then the parents never go over it or even open it. I've never asked them not to, maybe it's some sort of unwritten rule.

Crystal, I'm not trying to be a jerk but if you are going to tell people that it's in state rules that doors can't be locked, then you really should be prepared to refer to the rules in the state's policy handbook. Don't be so defensive when people asked you where you got your information from, just be able to back up what you say. Sorry if I'm making you mad, I just think that it would be helpful to have the guidelines handy so that you can back up your comments. Otherwise, you can't prove that you're correct anymore than other people can prove that you're incorrect.

[nannyde]

Sorry OP for this going off topic....not my intention at all, I was only replying to your post when this got turned to me.

The state regs do not spell it out for you. The only thing you will see there is that, because I am licensed for 14 children, I have to have a fire inspection by the local fire marshall. The fire marshall does not allow doors to be locked because they are emergency exits in the event of a fire. This also varies county to county. There is nothing on-line that spells that out for you,so you'll just have to take my word for it, or not believe me.....

I have been in business 13 years and have never locked my doors. I realize that it would be considered safer by many to keep them locked. I realize "open-door policy" does not mean unlocked doors in all states/counties, but it does here.

So it's not your "licensing" it's your county fire marshall? Gotcha

It's not off topic. You are the one that brought up your licensing requires an open door. You said "We are not allowed to lock our doors, per licensing." Somebody else is making the decision for you. We don't have the luxury or rather curse of that.

These are situations that make me very greatful to be in a union. I know a lot here don't play union but I have seen some really brass tack things be dealt with with common sense and real life input into regulations that take our decision making away.

I don't have a problem with providers who keep unlocked all day. I have a problem with regulations that require it.

I had my own kid scoot out the door when my neice left it unlocked when he was less than two. She was going out to her car ACROSS the street and he was wanted to go with her. I know she pulled the door shut because I saw that. Didn't think to lock it behind her because she was coming right back in.

I didn't even know he COULD twist the handle on the door and pull it. I never allow the dc kids to be anywhere near an outside door so I didn't have the experience to know when they COULD do that. He made it all the way to the sidewalk before I caught up to him.

One of my finer parenting mistakes.

Put a second high bolt lock on that evening on both front and back door. Kept it double locked until he was old enough to know better.

[momofboys]

My doors are locked 99% of the time. I live down the road from a state prison & although I'd like to think my neighborhood is a nice & safe one (small town, know neighbors, etc) you can never be too safe. I feel better knowing they are locked. My blinds are always open & I am prompt to open the door. But this is my home, not WAL-MART or Target. I am not open 24/7 & only care for 1-2 families at a time. I am fine with a parent dropping in anytime but in my home I must feel safe & to do so my doors remain locked.

[judytrickett]

My doors are locked ALL THE TIME. Even between arrivals of the children. If the parents can't trust me behind a locked door with their child then they have no business leaving their child with me.

I will tell you why. First, off this is still my home and no one will just walk in at will. The second is an experience I had once that I NEVER want to repeat ESPECIALLY with children in the house:

A man once walked right into our home. I was sitting on the couch and my husband (luckily) was outside in the back yard. This man walked right in, started screaming at me and calling me beligerant names and walking closer to me. He was obviously drunk and it was VERY scary. I screamed for my husband who came running and managed to get the guy to the ground. We ended up calling the police and they took it from there.

It is MY SOLE responsibility to ensure the safety of EVERY single child in my care. Having an unlocked door had demonstrated to me that at ANY moment in time something could happen. Anyone could walk in.

What might have happened if my husband were not home? I shudder to think. Do I ever want to put a CHILD in that position? Never!

[boysx5]

I lock my doors I don't feel safe with them unlock not in this day in age. I have a sign in sheet on my door they sign knock and I'm there in seconds. They know they can come anytime and I am home and will answer the door its my home and I don't think they should be able to walk right in

[Janet]

Locked doors

It's awesome having a bunch of nosy busy-bodies as neighbors hehehe!

In all seriousness, if I didn't live in such a small neighborhood with so many SAHM's and people who get up all up in the Kool-aid and don't know the flavor, then I would most definitely lock my doors!

I guess it's a good thing that I'm probably the craziest individual in the neighborhood!!!

[DCMom]

Parents walking in is not something that ever really bothered me, even when my daycare was upstairs in the main part of my home. I always just took it as part of the territory. Most of my dckids would arrive around the same time and usually walk in with a "Good Morning or 'I'm here' and stand right in the entryway. If they arrived in the middle of the day or some other unscheduled time, I would expect them to knock. Besides, they would have to because I locked my door after the last child had arrived

Now that daycare is in the basement with a separate entrance, it's more of a 'business' than 'home' so I don't care if they knock or not because I or my assistant are right there.


Isn't it funny how once they start to irritate us, everything they do continues to irritate us? I would have a chat with her about the meal thing though. That is one of my biggest pet peeves; I actually have it right in my polices about arriving after mealtimes and I stick to it.

[HeatherB]

I have stated in my handbook that every parent must knock once before entering. I have dogs and this tells them that someone is walking in. THey bark and greet the person HOWEVER if it is not person they know it is a more aggressive bark. I do lock my doors during the day and still have an 'open door policy' with my parents. 11 years with no problem with this routine ever.

[misol]

I had my own kid scoot out the door when my neice left it unlocked when he was less than two. She was going out to her car ACROSS the street and he was wanted to go with her. I know she pulled the door shut because I saw that. Didn't think to lock it behind her because she was coming right back in.

I didn't even know he COULD twist the handle on the door and pull it. I never allow the dc kids to be anywhere near an outside door so I didn't have the experience to know when they COULD do that. He made it all the way to the sidewalk before I caught up to him.

One of my finer parenting mistakes.

Put a second high bolt lock on that evening on both front and back door. Kept it double locked until he was old enough to know better.

nannyde, I just had to do the exact same thing 2 weeks ago! My 20-month old daughter kept unlocking and opening the door to everyone as well as letting herself out. I had a dc kid that did this as well! I originally had one of those child safety locks on the handle and although they couldn't open the door with it in place, they learned how to crack the whole thing off! So I put in a second high bolt so that she (and the other dc kids) can't reach it. Only my 3-yr old son can reach it if he stands on a chair. He can get it open in an emergency.