New DCD Just Shushed One Of My Assistants

[Kiki]

DCD,

My assistant just informed me that you 'shushed' her when you picked up DCB this afternoon. I guess you wanted to surprise him. Whatever the reason, I do not feel that was okay and my assistant was very offended by this. We keep pick-ups quick in order to keep pick-up time from becoming congested and we alert the children that their ride is here as soon as we see a car pull up or see a parent. This is what we do for each child and family so that pick-ups are speedy.

Please refrain from shushing either of my helpers again. I view 'shushing' as a form of disrespect and is grounds for termination as per our contract.

If you have any questions regarding this matter, you may email back or call me after 6pm this evening.

Thank you,
QueenBee

Since when is it okay to SHUSH another adult?

When I first read the title to this post I was sure it was going to be something along these lines:
'DCD told one of my assistants to shush while we were all in conversation.', or something.
I don't mean to offend, but this was a little over the top no? Honestly, I think the parents are probably more offended by this letter than your assistant was over the shush. I know for sure I would have been pretty dang upset if I got a letter like that considering the circumstances.
I agree that this is something that could have been brought up in a casual conversation during drop off/pick up. Just a simple 'Hey, Sue was a little offended by your shush the other day, can you shine some light on what happened?'
I hope for your sake that the dad is really as ok with the letter as you say he is, and that he isn't just playing nice for now.

Also-on the shushing adults-I shush my husband all of the time. ::

[Lucy]

Just to note: I wasn't "threatening" him with termination. I "warned" him that this could be classified as disrespect and THAT was grounds for termination. I could care less if he was trying to sneak up on his kid, but anything less than complete and utter respect for either of my assistants ruffles my feathers big time.

I'm so glad it all worked out in the end. I should explain that I didn't mean that you outright threatened termination for THIS "offense", what I'm trying to convey is that you, in a round-about way, told him that this is a terminable offense, implying that if it happens again, he could be terminated. Now, it's just semantics, but in the big picture, that is technically threat of termination. At least that's the way my brain sees it LOL. Your mileage may vary.

I agree with the others that he didn't dismissively shush your asst., as in "what you're saying is unimportant, so be quiet", it was more like he was saying, "oh, please don't call his name... I want to surprise him".

Anyway, none of it matters now, as it has all been smoothed over.

[Unregistered]

If I was the father, I would be wondering what else you would over react to.

Agree.

And I'm shocked he apologized. I sure wouldn't have.


Outstanding reputation or not his intent was obvious and should have been considered. He did nothing wrong and certainly doesn't deserve to be talked about like you've got loads of people to replace him if he doesn't appreciate the way you ladies both handled this whole situation.

"There's the door" implies you don't give a rip about his child or what an additional uproot and move would mean in that child's life.

That's sad.

[originalkat]

I am glad this worked out as well. I tend to agree with Lucy in that it was an overreaction to send the email. But I am glad you support your assistants! That is awesome! And I suppose if your program is that good that you never have openings and could easily get a new family, they would not want to lose the spot. But if that email would have gone to my husband he would have been pissed and would have pulled out our child.
At any rate...I'm glad it worked out in your favor.

[MizzCheryl]

Queen Bee you are my hero. Wow could I work for you. I HATE to be shushed.

One day we were out side and this guy walks up, never saw him before. I said can I help you and he shushed me. I was about to call the police when DCm walks up. It was the DCGs dad, (I had not me him because he had been incarcerated). Needless to say I was none to happy. His apperance was a little scary too and I have to say I was ill.

I should have done what you did.
I don't think your assistant took it too personally, but I am so glad he apologized.
My Hubby has done this and I did not take it to well. He profusely apoligized, he really didn't mean it ugly, but I am sure he would not like it if the tables were turned.

[Sugar Magnolia]

As a provider: yeah, it was mildly rude of this dad. Mildly.
As a parent: I would have been insulted by the letter and its tone. I'm sure your program is excellent, but feeling belittled would be grounds for me and my child to exit. Quickly.

Just my opinion.

[Hunni Bee]

As an employee, I would have not given this another thought. I would have probably joined in on the surprise

As a supervisor, if one of my assistants brought this situation to me, I'd have said what Blackcat said, "Lighten up".

Edit: I see that it wasn't a friendly "shh" but a shh like "shut up". In that case, I think the reaction was warranted.

[youretooloud]

I agree with Lucy. It is just my opinion, but I think the response, especially the letter was way overboard and if I were the parent and I would be like, "Whoa! What the???"

Yep...I think both the worker, and you overreacted very rudely. Parents want to surprise their kids, it's not a big deal.

My husband pisses me off when he is near the front door, and sees a parent, and calls the kid to the door. Let the parent walk in and see their own child's reaction, and stop calling the kids to run to the door.

[cheerfuldom]

I think everyone is being too hard on the OP! She supported her assistant and made sure a parent knew what behavior was or wasnt acceptable. Whether the dad agreed or not, he is willing to abide by her rules. Isn't everyone constantly complaining that owners/directors rarely support their staff? Arent we always saying "your house, your rules"? Gah, its like we all post over and over for people to use their backbone and draw the boundary lines where they see fit. I would rather support the OP in perhaps being overly strict than in seeing this dad slowly becoming ruder and ruder over time when nothing was said.

Maybe the assistant was being too sensitive, but we werent there and we cant know the whole story. but we do know that the OP and her assistant united in drawing the line and the dad is willing to live with that. and that is certainly something that I can support.

[littlemissmuffet]

This afternoon at pick-up, new DCD came to pick up DCB. As DCD was walking up to our daycare room, my assistant who was just about to leave home was standing in the doorway waving to the kids, saw him and called Dcb's name. DCD shushed her immediately because, assuming, wanted to surprise or "sneak up" on DCB.

My assistant called me 15 minutes later and let me know this. She was very offended and wanted to know if she should be or was she blowing this out of porportion. She noted that it wasn't a friendly "shhh", but a quick hard "SHHH".

I immediately sent this email to DCD:


DCD,

My assistant just informed me that you 'shushed' her when you picked up DCB this afternoon. I guess you wanted to surprise him. Whatever the reason, I do not feel that was okay and my assistant was very offended by this. We keep pick-ups quick in order to keep pick-up time from becoming congested and we alert the children that their ride is here as soon as we see a car pull up or see a parent. This is what we do for each child and family so that pick-ups are speedy.

Please refrain from shushing either of my helpers again. I view 'shushing' as a form of disrespect and is grounds for termination as per our contract.

If you have any questions regarding this matter, you may email back or call me after 6pm this evening.

Thank you,
QueenBee

Since when is it okay to SHUSH another adult?

I LOVE you! This is EXACTLY how I would have addressed the situation. Good job, girl! happyface

[Unregistered]

At first glance

I thought it said DCD SLUSHIED my assistant.
And the thought of that is cracking me up!

[Snapdragon]

I think everyone is being too hard on the OP! She supported her assistant and made sure a parent knew what behavior was or wasnt acceptable. Whether the dad agreed or not, he is willing to abide by her rules. Isn't everyone constantly complaining that owners/directors rarely support their staff? Arent we always saying "your house, your rules"? Gah, its like we all post over and over for people to use their backbone and draw the boundary lines where they see fit. I would rather support the OP in perhaps being overly strict than in seeing this dad slowly becoming ruder and ruder over time when nothing was said.

Maybe the assistant was being too sensitive, but we werent there and we cant know the whole story. but we do know that the OP and her assistant united in drawing the line and the dad is willing to live with that. and that is certainly something that I can support.

Sometimes body language and the way (tone, etc.) you are "shushed" can make the world of difference too. We can't know from the post. Regardless of whether we agree on the action taken, it was commendable that the OP backed up her assistant.

[My3cents]

I bounced back and fourth on this reading everyones thoughts and what the Op wrote-

I side with the OP-

my only thing would have been to talk to him personally in the first place, not send him a letter.

A 48 year old woman that is a wonderful worker, knows right from wrong- at least I want to think this. I don't feel she is going to go to her boss over a petty issue. The Ssshhhh had to be rude, and it bothered her. The worker handled this right. She could have blown up at the Dad right then and there, she thought about it and then called and talked with her Boss.

The boss, OP handled this well too. It's rare that employees are valued these days and this boss showed that she values her employee. Nice

The Father- he handled it well too. He knew he messed up. If not he wouldn't have called and apologized.

Shhhhshing someone is rude, so is using stupid or other names- I get the feeling this went above and beyond a normal Ssshhh, I want to surprise my son. I am guessing it was more of a Sssshhh I own the world type of Ssshhh-

We are all human and make mistakes but it is true that when we do have the backbone we should support each other. I don't think it was easy for the OP or she wouldn't have bothered to come here for suggestions.

I lean towards the OP but I can see the points that others have made. I would have verbally talked to the Dad and toned it down a bit but still been clear that he was rude and it bothered my assistant.

Anyways- It's Friday!!!! Have a wonderful weekend everyone

[e.j.]

I agree that this is something that could have been brought up in a casual conversation during drop off/pick up. Just a simple 'Hey, Sue was a little offended by your shush the other day, can you shine some light on what happened?'

Personally, this is more along the lines of how I would have handled it unless the dcd had a history of being rude to my employees and having to be "spoken to". Glad to hear it worked out for you the way it did. Dcd sounds like a class act based on how he reacted to the situation; hopefully you'll have a long, positive relationship with that family. I'm sure your assistant appreciates the back-up you give her, too.

[PitterPatter]

This afternoon at pick-up, new DCD came to pick up DCB. As DCD was walking up to our daycare room, my assistant who was just about to leave home was standing in the doorway waving to the kids, saw him and called Dcb's name. DCD shushed her immediately because, assuming, wanted to surprise or "sneak up" on DCB.

My assistant called me 15 minutes later and let me know this. She was very offended and wanted to know if she should be or was she blowing this out of porportion. She noted that it wasn't a friendly "shhh", but a quick hard "SHHH".

I immediately sent this email to DCD:


DCD,

My assistant just informed me that you 'shushed' her when you picked up DCB this afternoon. I guess you wanted to surprise him. Whatever the reason, I do not feel that was okay and my assistant was very offended by this. We keep pick-ups quick in order to keep pick-up time from becoming congested and we alert the children that their ride is here as soon as we see a car pull up or see a parent. This is what we do for each child and family so that pick-ups are speedy.

Please refrain from shushing either of my helpers again. I view 'shushing' as a form of disrespect and is grounds for termination as per our contract.

If you have any questions regarding this matter, you may email back or call me after 6pm this evening.

Thank you,
QueenBee

Since when is it okay to SHUSH another adult?

I agree it's not ok to shush and adult some people just have no common sense or people skills. I personally wouldn't make an issue over 1 time. But then again I once (ONCE) tolerated a DCM walking around my home while chatting on her cell AFTER she had signed the kids out and when I tried to speak to her letting her know it was closing time she held her palm up to me blowing me off and turned away finishing her conversation with her Avon lady! Needless to say I grew a backbone since then and I have the upper hand. She does not leave my front doorstep and I don't allow any more calls. She still lingers 20 mins sometimes but that's when I'm outside with the kids can't figure a way around that yet.

I bet big bucks you would have termed her huh? ::