Ok I Really Can't Take it Anymore

[SilverSabre25]

I agree that there is something wrong with this little one. It is sad that she cries so much She is probably in some kind of pain which is preventing her from sleeping and eating. Could be reflux keeping her up or it could be celiac. You spend a lot of time with her so you need so sit down with her parents and discuss the issues. I would be so torn to know my child is screaming all day at daycare but I would want to know in order to be able to find a solution. I feel like it is my responsability to tell the parents when I feel that there may be something wrong with the little ones I care for.
To me it sounds like a tummy issue. Being held is comforting when a child is in pain which is likely why she wants to cuddle all the time. I would suggest that her parents take her to be tested for belly problems. A friend of mine had a preemie who sounds exactly like this little angel. Would never sleep was abnormally small, was in constant agony and cried ALL DAY long. Mom wound up on antidepressants because she felt like such a terrible mother all the time. Finally she took DD off all gluten and within 3 weeks that little treasure was the happy, napping bundle of joy she was meant to be. It took a while to get her into a routine but once she settled in it was smooth sailing from then on
Hope this helps.

Gluten crossed my mind, although I didn't mention it due to her age. She's probably not getting much gluten, especially if she isn't eating. It's definitely something to consider though--any crackers, teething biscuits, wheat/barley baby cereal, or even oatmeal would have gluten.

[Breezy]

Thank you all!

These are all good things to keep in mind when I have a sit down with mom and dad about this.

The way I see it though is this: DCG is with me an avg of 1-3 days per week. So if this is something that is only happening here, that may be because of attention. KWIM? Yesterday at pick up, I told mom how she was all day and she looked very surprised. Which leads me to believe she is not like that at home.

I am sure at home mom and dad can tend to her every need as soon as it happens and stay within her view at all times... I can't do that here with other children to care for though.

Wish I could respond to everything that has been said so far but I need to finish getting ready for new DCG to come today.

The thing that gets me the most is she is just fine if she is held, if she is sitting near me, or if I am making constant eye contact.

[Heidi]

Okay, other thought--I would start out trying to stop the screaming any way possible. She is little--too little to be screaming "just for attention". No one, no child, is going to scream the way you're describing for as LONG as you're describing, without an actual physical reason. If she's screaming to be held, hold her. See if she'll tolerate a moby wrap or some other kind of baby carrier. Get that screaming stopped any way you can. Hold her.

You said she was almost 12 months but was born three months early--that means she's about 9 months adjusted. Yet you say she's the size of a six month old. That's concerning to me, although she could just be a small child. How are her milestones?

I would honestly have a very frank sit-down chat with mom and let her know that something. is. wrong. Screaming like that is NOT normal, for any child at any age, but especially a baby. There are a lot of possibilities--dietary allergies, the sleep issues, reflux. Not eating is not normal. Not sleeping is not normal.

Something is wrong with that baby, and the parents need to get it under control ASAP.

Yeah....I'm normally from the "tough love" camp, but I agree with Sabre on this one.

[itlw8]

are you sure mom does not wear her??? It truely sounds like she is in a sling and maybe even sleeps on mom.

[Breezy]

are you sure mom does not wear her??? It truely sounds like she is in a sling and maybe even sleeps on mom.

Mom is pushing 400ish pounds so I am positive she doesnt wear her. But i am sure she holds her constantly because thats about all she can do with her.. Sounds mean but its the truth!

[My3cents]

Breezy-

Dr. needs to look at her ears- sounds like ear infections/blocked ears.

Hold her, let her get to know you and trust you and then work backwards to small ammounts of alone time. Going for something quick in eye sight of her. Wait a while and do it again, talking to her the whole time. This is a long process and sometimes will work and sometimes will not. Does not sound like stubborn baby but like something is wrong- Dr. needs to get involved and you have to put it on the table to the parent.

If you have tried cry it out and that does not work. I would hold her. Have a talk with parents, come up with a plan of action. You said Mom is very heavy, and probably holds her a lot, because that is all she can do. Hard to get down on the floor for her most likely. Pacifier? Have you tried burping her well- sometimes gasses just get stuck and it takes longer for them to surface. Ruled out diet?

Don't feel bad if you have to term- not fair to everyone else and can make you hate doing what you love to do. Don't let it get to that point.

Good luck-

[Breezy]

Breezy-

Dr. needs to look at her ears- sounds like ear infections/blocked ears.

Hold her, let her get to know you and trust you and then work backwards to small ammounts of alone time. Going for something quick in eye sight of her. Wait a while and do it again, talking to her the whole time. This is a long process and sometimes will work and sometimes will not. Does not sound like stubborn baby but like something is wrong- Dr. needs to get involved and you have to put it on the table to the parent.

If you have tried cry it out and that does not work. I would hold her. Have a talk with parents, come up with a plan of action. You said Mom is very heavy, and probably holds her a lot, because that is all she can do. Hard to get down on the floor for her most likely. Pacifier? Have you tried burping her well- sometimes gasses just get stuck and it takes longer for them to surface. Ruled out diet?

Don't feel bad if you have to term- not fair to everyone else and can make you hate doing what you love to do. Don't let it get to that point.

Good luck-

She's been here since November when she was itty bitty. I held her, I cuddled her, everything up until she started being mobile and then she would just follow me around the house. She has a pacifier and uses it for nap time and whenever she is upset but usually just throws it.

I still burp her halfway through the bottles she eats to make sure that there is no air trapped since she does sometimes spit up still.

Her diet is basically formula, snacks, and baby food from the jars. All organic. Yesterday was Country Veggie Chicken soup and Butternut Squash Bisque. Snacks are: puffs, goldfish, and other gerber things.

I wish I could feed her what the other kids are having during the day like fresh fruits cut up small and what not but mom says no shes not ready for them yet.

DCD just came to pick up my new DCK and I put her down and she screamed and screamed. Red faced, tears pouring.. The look on dads face was just SHOCK that she was acting that way being put down for a few seconds with toys to play with. She came chasing after me (crawling).

Someone further up in the responses said she is going to start ruining my business if other people see her like that and that is sooooooooooo true. I got so flustered and apologized profusely. But, now I can just imagine him thinking that their child has to listen to that all day. Which you're right, is not fair to ANYONE.

I told DCM at pick up that she had a really rough day yesterday with the crying and she looked really surprised. Today she texted me and asked if she is better today and I said she is eating much better but the crankiness is still pretty bad and has been for a few weeks now. I said it is usually when I put her down to do something else with one of the other kids or I leave the room to go to the bathroom, etc.

DCM responded back saying "No more bathroom breaks for you then. I just let her follow me around everywhere at home. No privacy for me..."

I HOPE she was kidding about the bathroom break comment.

I am just at my wits end and have been advertising like crazy to fill the spot. It is not fair to anyone. I have a FTer starting in July that will take her place and a possible PTer this month.

My mom will be in town later this month so I will at least have a little more help with her. Last time my mom was here she held her the majority of the day since my mom loves cuddling babies.

It will really help for her to see how she is and help me gain some insight from an outsider on what my mom thinks...

Last time my mom was here was Feb and DCG was bad about screaming but not nearly as bad as this.

I have kept my attitude in check. Telling myself every morning I am going to have the patience of a saint. But come halfway through the day, that patience does dwindle.

DH has seen how she is and is just in disbelief and has been helping a lot more with DS and around the house in the evening and on the weekends and being a HUGE cheerleader for me to get through it until I can term her.

I think she really does need to be home with mom. But mom doesn't seem to have these issues with her which tells me either she is lying or is SOOOOO spoiled. I can't- nor should I be expected- to have her on my hip the whole day through.

My DS needs some loving and mommy time too since that is the reason I am home with him during the day! :: But every time I pull him onto my lap for kisses and hugs she is hanging on me screaming in our ears.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Thank you all!

These are all good things to keep in mind when I have a sit down with mom and dad about this.

The way I see it though is this: DCG is with me an avg of 1-3 days per week. So if this is something that is only happening here, that may be because of attention. KWIM? Yesterday at pick up, I told mom how she was all day and she looked very surprised. Which leads me to believe she is not like that at home.

I am sure at home mom and dad can tend to her every need as soon as it happens and stay within her view at all times... I can't do that here with other children to care for though.

Wish I could respond to everything that has been said so far but I need to finish getting ready for new DCG to come today.

The thing that gets me the most is she is just fine if she is held, if she is sitting near me, or if I am making constant eye contact.

http://www.amazon.com/Luvable-Friends-Baby-Hip-Carrier/dp/B004RBC3XK/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1338836480&sr=8-3

[Breezy]

http://www.amazon.com/Luvable-Friend...8836480&sr=8-3

Ooo I like it. And I like the pocket in it. But, she hates it when I wear her with the moby on my front I would be hesitant to try that with her. Though it would be nice for walks...... But it is also sooooo hot here so we would both get sooo sweaty

[DaisyMamma]

It sounds like she is extremely spoiled. If she stops crying when you pick her up then it is very likely.
I agree that her size and eating/sleeping habbits are of concern.
I have to say, I would rather be extremely poor and terminate then deal with that, but we all have our limits. Hang in there.

[Breezy]

It sounds like she is extremely spoiled. If she stops crying when you pick her up then it is very likely.
I agree that her size and eating/sleeping habbits are of concern.
I have to say, I would rather be extremely poor and terminate then deal with that, but we all have our limits. Hang in there.

Me too! But it is not up to me. It is up to my DH. He says we need someone to replace her and I know we do. Everything I get paid from her goes to our biweekly grocery shop. No DCG, no groceries. He said yesterday I could term her but to be prepared to not have any money until I find someone else to go in her place. We would be right back where we were prior to me enrolling this other DCG on Saturday. So, I am stuck for now.

But yes, extremely spoiled since anytime I pick her up it stops. ON A DIME! There is not even residual sniffling. It is just done. I put her in the highchair and the screams. I walk over to give her food and she thinks I will get her out so she stops. Then she realizes I am not getting her out, I am feeding her. Screaming starts again. If I open the door to the garage to throw something away and turn my back to her: screaming.

I go to the bathroom. She screams at the gate if she can't see me. I see her through the mirror but she can't see me. But as soon as I am back in view and look like I am about to pick her up. It stops.

As her mom said: no more bathroom breaks for me.

[momma2girls]

I have had seperation anxiety and colicy babies, and let me tell you what, nothing helped. I tried everything!! You will have to replace or term!!! It is not fair to you, the other parents,your children, and the other children in your daycare!!!

[Blackcat31]

I have had seperation anxiety and colicy babies, and let me tell you what, nothing helped. I tried everything!! You will have to replace or term!!! It is not fair to you, the other parents,your children, and the other children in your daycare!!!

I put up with a screaming child ALL winter. I can NOT tell you how happy I am to be screamer free now! Even the other daycare kids are sighing in major relief!

You don't always realize how bad it is until it is over...and quiet.

I really don't think I will ever ever ever take a baby that screams like that again. NO amount of money is worth it. It just isn't.

For me, the cries started out as needy colicky cries and slowly built into angry, spoiled crying and then screaming from frustration (oh, wait...that was me ) and now total silence during nap time and no crying or screaming during the day. Ahhhhhhh......

Seriously, Breezy...term. For your sanity and your DS's.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

At the very least, take her on walks in a stroller/wagon.
The child may scream the whole time, but at least you'll be in some fresh air and feel less insane.

[momma2girls]

I hear you black cat, once you have gone thru it once, twice, or more times. You begin to realize, no way is it worth it, to keep a baby that screams bloody murder all day!! I have learned the hard way, I kept one for over a month, because she only came here 2-3 days per week- UGHH!!! Once you decide to term, you think to yourself "why didn't I just do this sooner?" It will be your own sanity, your children's and daycare children's!!!!