I Need Some Suggestions/ Advice

[daycare]

I have a DCB that is 3.5...... has been with me for over 6 months. The DCK has a really hard time listening, but that's not what I am looking for advice on.

TABLE MANNERS and Eating Time

My rules:

you sit at the table with your legs under the table and you eat over the plate.

you do not get up until you have been asked to be excused.

Well this kid no matter what kind of food it is gets food ALL over the place. Food is everywhere. Not even my 19 month old makes this big of a mess. I tell the kid 100 times plus, please show me good table manners and eat over your plate. 2 seconds later I look up and the plate in on the other side of table and the food is all over the floor, lap and table. This goes on at every single meal. None of my other kids have this issue, not even the younger ones.

It is obvious that I am not going about this the right way, because I have been trying for months to get this kid to stop creating the massive messes at meal times and nothing works. Any advice or suggestion on how to stop this??

[sharlan]

I would place him in a high chair until he can learn table manners.

[Heidi]

Does he have any fine motor issues or is he fooling around?

How does he do with manipulatives?

If it's just fooling around, I'd start excusing him more quickly. A few times of being excused for purposely forgetting his table manners will get the point across.

[Countrygal]

I think I go with Heidi on this one. I'd remind once, then excuse. It won't take him long to figure it out. Part of the problem is probably that he might still be eating in a high chair at home. I know I have a 3.5 yo who is. It's not a good situation. They have no idea how to sit at a table.

[daycare]

This child has to be the clumsiest child I have ever met in my life. They must fall 100+ times a day. He is huge for his age about 55 lbs so there is no way that I can put him in a highchair that would fit him.

I have tired the if you don't eat over your plate then you are telling me that you are done and you need to get done, but then the kid does not get to eat and that is not oK..

[daycare]

This child has to be the clumsiest child I have ever met in my life. They must fall 100+ times a day. He is huge for his age about 55 lbs so there is no way that I can put him in a highchair that would fit him.

I have tired the if you don't eat over your plate then you are telling me that you are done and you need to get done, but then the kid does not get to eat and that is not oK..

no other suggestions??

[Luna]

Would a placemat help to define his space? Or maybe a tray? Maybe he can understand his plate and utensils and drink and stray food must stay in that space.

[temom]

Would a placemat help to define his space? Or maybe a tray? Maybe he can understand his plate and utensils and drink and stray food must stay in that space.

I did the same with a DCK i used to put his plate on a tray, some kids i think have either delayed motor skills or parents don't pay much attention to manners. O yeah i had a 4 yr old that would get his food everywherebut his mouth, later on i found out that the kid has some sort eye sight problem where he could not focus properly.

[wdmmom]

Place an old bed sheet, large towel, etc underneath him. I would also put him in a booster chair with a tray and tell him the food must remain on the tray.

Have you considered giving him smaller portions just so it doesn't wind up all over and give him more little by little? Just a thought...

[daycare]

thanks for the replies...

I think that you both may have nailed it.....possible motor delays as well as the parents just don't care at all.

The grandma came today to pick up and I asked if this was an issue at home and she said that there are all kinds of issues at home, this is just one of many.

She then went on to tell me that the mom does not get home from work until 10pm most night and her kids are already in bed. Her husband is the one who takes care of the children and I guess he does not pay attention to a lot of that.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I would definitely try a placemat. If that didn't work, I might try a bowl/plate that has a suction cup on the bottom.

[SilverSabre25]

Thinking about this overnight...lmk if I forget to answer tomorrow,

[countrymom]

maybe sit next to him and help him eat. Show him how to hold the plate. I think he needs to be taught how to do basic things.

[Lilbutterflie]

This child has to be the clumsiest child I have ever met in my life. They must fall 100+ times a day. He is huge for his age about 55 lbs so there is no way that I can put him in a highchair that would fit him.

55 lbs??? Wow! My DD is 7 and she is 47 lbs!

Question: Is he also really really tall for his age, or is he overweight?

If he is really tall; that means his body is doing a LOT more growing than others his age. KWIM? I have a theory on growth spurts and young children. GROWTH SPURT= CLUMSY!!

The science behind it is that during a growth spurt (in your DCBs case- all the time); the body is growing faster than the brain can get a hold on how long the limbs are. Therefore, when they go to reach for something, or step over something; their brain has no idea exactly how long their arm or leg is and miscalculates. When any of my kiddos are going through a growth spurt, I see a HUGE increase in spilling at the table, falling, tripping over themselves, etc...

At least maybe this helps explain why he might be this way. It might not be that this boy is not listening to your rules on table manners; it could just be that this boy is clumsy due to lots of growing.

I agree with other posters' suggestions, use a placemat or tray under his food and drink; and use a bath towel under his chair to help clean up the messes. Keep pushing the table manners!

[Fruitloops1]

I agree with countrymom, If mom is not home and dad is clueless to table manners than maybe it will help if you sit with him/near him while he eats and help him out a bit. Has he EVER showed appropriate table manners? Or has he been this big hot eating mess since day 1? Point out to him how Susie is eating so nicely, and she is using her fork. "look theres Johnny wiping his mouth with a napkin, good job Johnny". And when he does a little bit better apploud him for it.
I feel bad for the poor little guy, he doesnt get to see his Mommy