Parents Who Spend Vacation Without Their Children

[spud912]

I agree . . . I don't think there is anything wrong with parents taking an occasional break from their children and go on vacation.

The only night I've ever spend away from my older dd is when my younger dd was born and she spent the night with grandma. I felt HORRIBLE and she made a point to give my husband and I the cold shoulder when she saw us. My younger dd is very much attached to me and has only spent a max of 8 hours away from me at one time (it was for a daycare training). I would be more worried about leaving her overnight with grandma because of her strong attachment to me.

We are planning an overnight getaway (even if it is a staycation) in a few months to celebrate our 10-year anniversary (without the kids!). There are also some trips that would be better without having 2+ young kids tag-a-long. For example, I would love to visit New York City. Both of my kids are too young to really form any long-lasting memories. Also, nap times would really interfere with venturing out in the city and who wants to stay in a tiny cramped hotel room with 2 wild children under the age of 3?

[Country Kids]

Actually if I were to go away I would love to go away by myself! Even when my hubby and I go away, there is still someone there wanting my attention and actually wanting it more then the kids. I would love to go away and just be able to watch a movie, take bath, relax, sleep in, take my time doing things with no one needing my time or attention.

[daycare]

Sorry, I did not get a chance to read all of the other posts, but I live for my children 360 days out of the year. I don't think its horrible of me to take 5 days a out of that and spend it without them. It helps keeping my bond with my partner together...

I have 3 kids, 1 with me daily and the other 2 are older.

[saved4always]

I've never taken a week long vacation without my kids. But my husband and I have taken a weekend away (1 or 2 nights) here and there throughout our 22 year marriage where the kids have stayed with Grandma and Grandpa. We average maybe about 2-3 weekends a year now and maybe one a year or less when the children were very young. We feel this is very important for our marriage. One day our children are no longer going to be living with us and I don't want to look at that man I married and be like "who the heck are you?!" We have been to marriage conferences like the Family Life Weekend to Remember (highly recommend for any married or engaged couple, btw ) or we've gone to a local hotel just to have time to be a couple. With 3 kids and 2 dogs, we really need to do this as well as occassional date nights so that we are reminded that we are a couple, not just parents, and so we stay connected.

So, I really don't have anything against parents wanting to take time to be alone with their spouse. They are really doing something that is good for thier marriages, IMHO.

[saved4always]

Maybe they never got a honeymoon?
Maybe they have never been offered a week at grandma's before?
Maybe they won the trip?
Maybe they work really hard and have never had a vacation alone before?
Maybe they plan on taking all future vacations as a family but since their kids are little now, it is more beneficial to have a vacation without them?
Maybe they are Bill and Jane and NOT just a mom and a dad?
Maybe they are going to Vegas to do something inappropriate so it is a good thing the kids aren't going?
Maybe one of them has some weird disease and they are seeking alternate treatment from some wack-o quack only found in Vegas?
Maybe they are meeting up with another couple for a ......(well another reason to not bring the kids with).?
Maybe they just need a break from their daily life so they can come back refreshed and ready to deal....?
Maybe they are attending a marriage group?
Maybe they are job seeking?
Maybe they are house hunting?
Maybe one of them is dying and seeing Wayne Newton is on their bucket list?

Who knows.....but I really don't think we can or should be judging these parents. We have never walked a mile in their shoes, we aren't living in their homes or living their lives so I don't think we ever really know the whole story. Everyone defines parenting differently and I honeslty think that if it really bothers people so much, then refuse to participate in the fact that they leave their child in child care for such long hours. If they use 50 hours per week but don't work that many, then don't provide care for them.

You can't control what others do but you can change what you do. If you don't like the type of parenting a person has going on....and it really gets to you, then don't provide care to those kinds of parents.
We can't have it both ways.

This for sure!

[saved4always]

The reason I just can't understand it is because of a few reasons: first, they are in daycare ALL DAY already, second when you take kids with you you are making memories that kids will forever keep with them, and third if you need to get out with hubby can't you just do a nice dinner evening out or a day trip (why 5 days alone).

There are some things that my husband and I cannot do at a restaurant without getting arrested.

[cheerfuldom]

Don't you think its odd that we are the only society that feels perfectly fine leaving our children for days at a time. Or that we are quick to move a baby to a completely different room when the rest of the world has been co-sleeping for generations?

I just think that our society feels fine being separated from their own children. We are moving farther and farther from a family centered society.

I wouldnt get too high on this soapbox. There are many generations and cultures that do not co-sleep, have something similar to childcare (nannies, governess, boarding schools, tutors), find adult only activities perfectly acceptable. I agree that as a whole, too many people have too little time for their kids. But we shouldnt automatically judge parents that take a vacation without their kids. Or parents that choose to not co-sleep or room share.

[daycare]

happyfacehappyface

There are some things that my husband and I cannot do at a restaurant without getting arrested.

hahahahhaahhahhaah

[cheerfuldom]

There are some things that my husband and I cannot do at a restaurant without getting arrested.

ha! Some people need more than 2 hours ay a restaurant. We are going on an overnight soon because we have a free gift certificate to a pricey B and B. I cant wait, I wont feel bad at all for some kid free time with the hubby. And this is coming from a mom that co-sleeps and spends every waking minute with at least one child. I need a break too!

[AnneCordelia]

I am so excited for my husband and I to go away ALONE together next year for our 10th anniversary. I have no qualms about leaving my kids!

I did have a dcm who took a week vacay so she could "spring clean" and still sent her child. It was odd but I still got paid.

[familyschoolcare]

Alright so my hubby and I would not even think of going away without the children for more than 2 days. However, if our situation was different we

might. We are a blended family we have no children of our own so as the visitation schedgule falls we usually have about 3 or 4 chidless weekends a

year. Now if we did not then I think we would be getting away to spend quaility time with each other so that the marriage could stay strong.

[littlemissmuffet]

The only issue I have are the parents who have 4 weeks vacation/year - and don't spend a single one of those 20 days with their child. That is the epitome of selfish.

I think it's important for partners to bond without their children from time to time. I personally could never leave a child under 5 for more than 2-3 days at a time (and only with grandma)... but I would most definitely enjoy a 2-3 break from being mom to focus soley on being a wife and lover

[Ariana]

I completely understand going to Vegas without kids. My sister wants to go for her 40th birthday and wants me and DH to go and leave the kids with the grandparents (they're moving here this summer). I just can't do it!! I have zero family around right now and we haven't been on a vacay alone together in nearly 3 years and we go out to eat alone only when family is in town (maybe 3X per year) but isn't that what you sign up for when you become parents? We had a wonderful 6 years of vacationing sans kids BEFORE we had kids. I don'tjudge a few days in Vegas but weeks on end is a different story.

My current DCF went to Disney and took only their 4 year old DD and left their 2 year old at home with the grandparents. That breaks my heart

[saved4always]

The only issue I have are the parents who have 4 weeks vacation/year - and don't spend a single one of those 20 days with their child. That is the epitome of selfish.

I think it's important for partners to bond without their children from time to time. I personally could never leave a child under 5 for more than 2-3 days at a time (and only with grandma)... but I would most definitely enjoy a 2-3 break from being mom to focus soley on being a wife and lover

That is really sad. We really look forward to our few weekends a year away to just be a couple. But we look just as forward to our vacations with our kids. My boys are 17 and 19 now. I don't even know if the 19 yo is going to get off from work to go on vacation with us this summer. If not, it will be the first family vacation without him. Parents who only spend thier vacations without thier kids are missing some awesome bonding. They may regret it when thier kids are older. I have so many memories and pictures from family camping weekends, Disney World, Virginia Beach, etc. that I treasure. There has to be a balance of couple time and family time.

[littlemissmuffet]

There has to be a balance of couple time and family time.