Termination Gone Wrong

[JLH]

If I were you, once you responded to mom that you needed payment and she said she would pay you, I would have stopped it at that point. I try not to get into back and forths with my daycare parents. The madder you make them the more they will badmouth you in the community. Just my opinion. Best of luck to you! Remember, for every bad match out there, there are 10 good ones. I think most of us have a family in our care that is a bad match. We just don't all have the guts you had to be able to terminate. Good job!

[MNMum]

What a great post!

[My3cents]

I can give you a great bit of advice for the future.

You don't have to explain ANYTHING to parents regarding giving them notice. This whole thing could have been avoided by you giving them notice once they paid up for what they have used and you simply telling them that you made a change in your business structure that does not include the schedule they need for their family. You don't have to be specific to what that change is. You don't have to get personal. Just a business decision. Offer them a two week notice which they will rarely ever use because they are pissed. If they take you up on it.. get thru it with a big fat smile on your face.

End.

McDonalds doesn't EXPLAIN to customers why they their BBQ pork sandwiches off of their menu. It's none of our business. They offer what they offer. Day care is the same.

Providers get into these kinds of discussions with parents because they feel they NEED to explain... need to clarify... need to justify... need to give the parent the life experience of having a consequence for their behavior... need to FINALLY be in the one up position... need to get even... need to tell THEM what you are going to do as opposed to THEM telling YOU what THEY are going to do... etc. etc.

None of that is EVER necessary. Once they move on they won't give you a second thought. They don't care what you think. They don't care how you felt. They don't care about you in ANY way. They want a YES today and your worth is ONLY for that YES today.

Once you give them a NO they have NO use for you. Why discuss it? Why do anything BUT give them the NO?

When a parent is getting away with what you have allowed them to get away with they are going to be SUPER mad when they get the NO. They know that it's going to be really hard to find someone to just let them come whenever they want and only pay for the days they do decide to come. They know that it's going to be EXTREMELY difficult to find someone with an open slot that they can have access to any day of the week any time of the week. They KNOW they aren't going to be able to have that schedule AND be able to pick and choose a routine and schedule for their child while they are there.

You have given them the DREAM situation. They get to do what they want AND be jerks about it while they are getting the great deal. Now who would want that to end? Of course they are going to act out. They've been acting out with you from the begining and they want that to continue. They are going to have a hard time finding someone who will let them behave badly and they know it.

I would advise NOT allowing less than three day a week schedules that are FIXED schedules. If the parent chooses not to bring the child on the fixed days then any other days they use must be paid for in ADDITION to the fixed days AND they must call to confirm that they can HAVE those additional days on a day to day basis. Make sure you say NO to them for the additional days quite a bit in the begining so they get the message that if there is any chance they DO need additional days they need to pay for that weekly in advance and scheduled.

Don't ever allow a parent to decide your schedule with the kid in your house. You tell them what you offer and if they don't like it they can hurry on down the street. I would never be able to get my clients to agree on a schedule for the kids. I couldn't get them to agree on what kind of paper towels I should use. I would NEVER allow them to tell me what I was going to do with their kids in my house. They don't care for their child in a group. They couldn't POSSIBLY know what you MUST do for the group, your children, and YOU during the day to make this whole thing work. The parents would be the last people on the planet I would allow to decide their kids schedule. This is MY house and I decide what we do in MY house.

Lesson learned. Take the 30 dollar hit if you have to and have them be gone from your life and your mind.

I love thislovethis

because I am one of those people that feels the need to explain........ I am sure you have all seen that in my postings. I work hard on this as a self improvement. I have come a long way, but have far to go. My hubby will often tell me, you don't need to explain yourself. I know this, but boy do I get caught up in it. Take this advice, it is good and I thought the same thing as I was reading your back and fourth emails.

best-

[My3cents]

I think you were well within your right to terminate this family but I would have given them two weeks notice though. Especially since they weren't expected to be there anyway.

I am on the same page with nannyde and jen and agree that the original termination letter had too much information. Short and to the point works best.

At the mom's request, I would suggest that you not contact her again. If she doesn't pay you the $30, you have to just chalk that one up as a cost of doing business. You might want to consider having parents pay in advance of care so that you don't get stuck again.

I think you handled yourself professionally.

Paying in advance and a week ahead is ideal!!! I started doing this. No, pay, no stay-

[My3cents]

The obvious difference is that each wal mart customer doesn't contribute to a large percentage of their total revenue. The reason day care parents in home day care have so much power is that their payment covers a large percentage of the business income.

Parents who have their kids in Centers don't have that much power. If they pull out the Center looses one percent or so depending on the size. In home day care it can be 15-25 percent for the average home day care. This is the dynamic that makes the relationship so unique.

My comparison is that we don't have to explain to parents WHY we don't offer a service they want. In the situation of the OP there wasn't any reason at all to be that specific with the parents. The parents wanted drop in care, control over the child's schedule whenever he DID show up, and only pay for whatever days they decided to bring him. Those are services very few providers offer. It's even more rare with successful providers because there is no money in it and the amount of work involved for the money you do get is not worth the effort. Loose loose for the provider. Win win for the parents... until the provider discontinues the service. Once that happens... well see above.

All the provider had to do was notify the parents that she doesn't provide the service anymore and she is giving them two weeks to make other arrangements. During that two week time the parents would need to provide a SET schedule and pay in advance on pay day for the set schedule. If the parents asks what services the provider DOES provide she can firmly say "full time slots only with set schedules (arrival and departure time) and the child maintain the same schedule as the other children". That's what I now offer. Want it?

End of story. If the parents gets upset (which they will when they are getting THIS big of a NO) then the solution is always just discontinue services without payment and we will all be square.

If you read the Mom's emails she said everything in one sentence "I thought that you were a small daycare that would be more concerned with the welfare of the children and their schedules instead of your own schedule. BAM that's the money shot. She wants the provider to do what she wants her to do "for the sake of the child" but not for the sake of money, good working conditions, a happy provider, a stable group, etc. When you have parents talking about "flexibility" you might as well bend over because flexibility almost ALWAYS means that they do what they want and you get paid either a regular amount that you would normally get daily for a regular kid or even less.

If you are going to be FLEXIBLE then you must have a markedly higher daily rate for flexibility. Flexible for the sake of the child means the parents get cheap drop in day care whenever they want and just pay for those days. Flexibility for the "sake of the child" means you do as you are told.

Nan

You never discussed this with me, and I just went ahead and stuck to the schedule I gave you when you interviewed me. This is one thing I noticed. Saying this makes the parent feel that they are in charge, your hired by them, they are the boss. I would have rephrased it to be.....You never discussed this with me, when I interviewed you. Word it as you want but making it known that you were doing the interviewing to see if the child was going to be a good fit with you.

[My3cents]

Well, I got payment. We found it at the front door a few minutes ago. I am so hurt by this parent and how much she hates me.



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wow, she just had to have the last word...... be done with it. I wouldn't respond to that- and if I did it wouldn't be nice

[My3cents]

Oh wow. Definitely a bully move.

Don't take it hard. She just has "last worditis". She THINKS she had the last word but really you did. She's been abusing your kindness and good will for so long and YOU said "no more". That, my friend, was the LAST word.

Get the pennies to a sorter as soon as you can.. take the money and do something really nice for your family. Don't be upset if it is short. It most likely is. She probably just dumped her change piggy bank into a ziploc so it's probably not the amount it should be. Whatever the amount just use it for something really nice for your kids and yourself and then don't give her another moments thought. Have a double dip chocolate twist cone and think of all of us who were here to help you thru it.

Ya gotta remember that EVERY business has freak customers. We aren't immune to that. You don't get to bypass that segment of the human population. Just because someone has a kid doesn't make them intrinsically a good person. Many a jerk is a parent.

Big hugs to you. If you want someone to talk to you can p.m. me thru this site and I will send you my phone number. Good luck and shake it off mate.

lovethis:hug:lovethis

Fortune cookie- Many a jerk is a parent. :hug:

[My3cents]

Here's mine:

Dear Bully Parent,

Thanks you SO much for the payment for DCB's final bill. I LOVE pennies. I have been collecting wheat pennies since I was nine years old! I haven't had time to go thru all of them yet but you are NOT going to believe this... I found a wonderful addition to my collection!!!!!! Whooo Hoooooo Did you realize you had a 1914-D? They are worth nearly $150!!! OMG I'm so excited I could burst.

http://cgi.ebay.com/1914-D-LINCOLN-WHEAT-CENT-/140407680759?cmd=ViewItem&pt=Coins_US_Individual&hash=item20b0f32ef7

I'm tempted to sell it but you know me.. I'll probably hold onto it way longer than I should.

It was a difficult transition for both of us to make but thanks to you I have a wonderful gift to remind me of our time together. Thank you SO much. Good luck to you and your wonderful family.

Marinara and Nan, your both inside my head and making me laugh. I am glad I don't do a lot of the stuff I think!!! Sassy one I am

[Msdunny]

Well, I got payment. We found it at the front door a few minutes ago. I am so hurt by this parent and how much she hates me.



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Oh heck no!! Ain't nobody got time for that!!

[Clara]

Great educational thread

This is a GREAT thread happyface....it stirs emotions from to I'm laughing :: so hard I cried...
Thanks Guys

[daycare]

wow that takes the cake....I have never seen this thread before...I am jaw dropped that someone would really drop off a bag of pennies of their payment.........................

makes any of the clients I have ever done business with perfect little angles...

[countrymom]

I just showed dh, he was laughing so where my kids. He did like the rare penny idea.

[MarinaVanessa]

Oh my, I remember this thread!!!!

What a GREAT thread. It made me happy to read it again. Happy provider appreciation day!!!!

[TheGoodLife]

Oh my, I remember this thread!!!!

What a GREAT thread. It made me happy to read it again. Happy provider appreciation day!!!!

. I was always curious if there was, in fact, $30 in there : )

[Sunshine74]

. I was always curious if there was, in fact, $30 in there : )

Well now I am curious too. And I wonder if OP found any valuable pennies?