Is This Appropriate?

[Ariana]

Ah ha, that makes much more sense. LOL!!

I was thinking you were suggesting that she ask him why and he would be able to say "Hey, I'm a kid and can't help when my arm reaches out and just takes something." :: or something to that effect explaining why he was taking toys from his friends.

I thought that was inappropriate since OP said when she asks him if he is going to do it again, he says yes...so he clearly wasn't going to be able to elaborate on why then....kwim?

So clarification much appreciated!

Yeah when I re-read my post I was thinking it didn't make much sense at all! haha I hate giving advice on forums because it's so hard to clarify what you mean in a paragraph and it's also hard to know a kid's personality from a post and whether your suggestion would work or not!!

Thanks for questioning it though because I'm sure others thought I was out to lunch ::

[Ariana]

I think it depends on the child. My ds just turned 3 and can both control his behavior impulses and talk with me about his behavior and what is appropriate. 4yr old dcb can do neither of these. I have asked dcb the same type of thing as you posted and he too always says "yes" or "yeah". Clearly they don't understand what you are asking.

I do the can't play nicely together then you have to play alone rule.

I often wonder if this is just a product of no one ever asking them kwim? I think the act of "thinking about why one does something" takes practice and this might be why some kids can do it and others can't. You've likely been talking with your own child about this stuff for a while whereas the DCB has no one talk to him about it.... Who knows!