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Good Morning, so sorry to dump this on a Monday morning, I really don’t have anywhere else to unload! Love this forum
Back History-
Hubby and I have been married for a little of four years together for six with four awesome kids. He’s in his late 20’s I’m early 30’s. He’s the youngest in his family and IMO he’s all ways trying to prove him self to his family (mom, dad, brother’s, uncle etc.). I’m the oldest in my family and can give a rat’s @$% what my family thinks of me…really! I do love my family…but I have learned I’m my own person and my family (hubby/kids) is what matters.
Financial History-
We have prayed and worked so hard the last three years to be able to purchase our FIRST home. I’m talking living with family (lasted all over four months) with just one room to spare for five people. Moving into a one bed/bath room apartment with 6 people and one doggy for a year; but our dream came to pass last summer we have been in our home now for 7 months. Now we have always talked about ways I would be able to stay home with our kid’s full time once we purchased the home (with daycare being the first choice) The ideal was to give it a year after readjusting financially, however things happen much faster then that. After returning to work from maternity leave I was miserable just unhappy with everything. I was only spending about a totally of 15 hours a week with my children with the move my commute time was longer. So we both agreed that I should really look into how I could stay home full time (daycare was the only logical option). So off we went with planning & training and I tell you my first three DC families were sent by God.
The Split-
So I have quit my 9-5 and begun daycare immediately now there are so many things I’m learning about running a business (up-keep/time/supplies etc.) I was able to start up with as little out of pocket as possible. I received a lot of things from friends/family and shopping garage sales. But know that I’m making money from the DC its only natural to put back into it right? So with the reimbursement checks from the food program I’m able to purchase those things I would normally not be able to (the income from the dcf’s is replacing the 9-5 I left) but not by much! So I treat the food program funds as bonuses I do not count it as part of my monthly income when doing the budget (same as I would do for child support). But yes I have had to cover bills with these funds as well. I have also been using the food program funds to purchase things for the house and honestly this would not be possible without the FP even if I was still working a 9-5…we would not be able to afford things a house requires for up-keep/comfort etc.
Now lets back up a bit, prior to us purchasing our home the hubby starts a business venture of his own WITH OUT ME mind you…yes I’m hurt by this. He thought it would be better to involve his friends “people I do not like” and yes they now it! I find out on accident (over heard a phone conv) and his step-mom told me “she’s a bit nosing”. So then the truth comes out from him “yeah I got a business my business is sport training” me and *** friend I don’t like are during it together. Well I’m sure you know how this conversation went. Know I have never never never in all the years of our relationship heard this man talk about starting a sports training business never. He has always been into sports coaching my son’s football/soccer team and so on.
Fast forward to the present-
So after many many many conversations about this, he now realize that I’m the only real partner he has in life PERIOD not his Dad/Mom/friends will NOT be there for him as I wIll…point blank. He’s now trying to involve me into this venture kool but honestly I’m so over it…don’t really won’t anything to do with b/c of the way it started off and how long it took him to involve me and I honestly don’t see the value it would add to our family. My income from the daycare is still needed at a 100% for the family so that means I’m taking families I rather not/working hours I rather not and so on. My pray is that we can live on one income and the DC would just be a perk, I then would be able to pick and choose my families and hours.
The issue-
After getting himself a DBA #/business cards/shirts/flies & working out with a few kids from the neighborhood “not making any money” hubby realized oh I need to be non-profit ($400 fee) in order to advertise in side the schools and so I can rent out the school gym I need insurance another ($300) really? Ok, so I told him any overtime he works he can take and put towards this (that lasted about a week) then he was back at trying to dump the savings account. Take note-we don’t have a real savings account at this time, yes we have funds saved but by no means is it an true emergency fund! On top of this I’m loosing a kid this month ($560) gone, and he just started a new job (oh, did I not mention he got FIRED in January for something stupid from a company he’s been with for four years. So my position on all this is right know it’s not really feasible for us “him” to start another business year one of the DC starting up and the purchase of our first home. Yes you guessed it I’m the planner…I feel as though if I didn’t stay on top of things nothing would get done…nothing.
Questions I brought to him-
1) Who will bring our children to there activities if I have dck’s here and you’re off training some one? His answer oh, I just won’t schedule anyone when our kids have something to do. We have four kids dude someone will always have something going on.
2) How will this be profitable if your working a Mon-Fir 5am-3pm job getting home at 4:30 only to change cloths and then off to train? When will you see your kids/me take care of house stuff? His answer oh I will only train on the weekends uhmm that ant going work dude.
3) How do you plan on replacing the funds you take from savings? His answer well come this summer I will have a lot more business so I can. Me, I don’t see it happening this way you take $700 from the savings and let’s say you get some kids who want to work out, now you have to rent a space buy equipment pay your friend to help. No profit!
My Position-
1) I’m focus on getting out of debt about $30,000 not including the house.
2) Getting a bigger vehicle, we have a Toyota Rva4 for six people with two car seats it ant working.
3) Setting up an emergency fund.
4) College savings
5) Fixing up our house, how I lone for a real bed room set “ never had one that matches”
6) Fixing up the kids rooms
Super sorry for the long post this morning, but I really needed to get this out! Please any in sight/advice wisdom is much needed. Help!
Back History-
Hubby and I have been married for a little of four years together for six with four awesome kids. He’s in his late 20’s I’m early 30’s. He’s the youngest in his family and IMO he’s all ways trying to prove him self to his family (mom, dad, brother’s, uncle etc.). I’m the oldest in my family and can give a rat’s @$% what my family thinks of me…really! I do love my family…but I have learned I’m my own person and my family (hubby/kids) is what matters.
Financial History-
We have prayed and worked so hard the last three years to be able to purchase our FIRST home. I’m talking living with family (lasted all over four months) with just one room to spare for five people. Moving into a one bed/bath room apartment with 6 people and one doggy for a year; but our dream came to pass last summer we have been in our home now for 7 months. Now we have always talked about ways I would be able to stay home with our kid’s full time once we purchased the home (with daycare being the first choice) The ideal was to give it a year after readjusting financially, however things happen much faster then that. After returning to work from maternity leave I was miserable just unhappy with everything. I was only spending about a totally of 15 hours a week with my children with the move my commute time was longer. So we both agreed that I should really look into how I could stay home full time (daycare was the only logical option). So off we went with planning & training and I tell you my first three DC families were sent by God.
The Split-
So I have quit my 9-5 and begun daycare immediately now there are so many things I’m learning about running a business (up-keep/time/supplies etc.) I was able to start up with as little out of pocket as possible. I received a lot of things from friends/family and shopping garage sales. But know that I’m making money from the DC its only natural to put back into it right? So with the reimbursement checks from the food program I’m able to purchase those things I would normally not be able to (the income from the dcf’s is replacing the 9-5 I left) but not by much! So I treat the food program funds as bonuses I do not count it as part of my monthly income when doing the budget (same as I would do for child support). But yes I have had to cover bills with these funds as well. I have also been using the food program funds to purchase things for the house and honestly this would not be possible without the FP even if I was still working a 9-5…we would not be able to afford things a house requires for up-keep/comfort etc.
Now lets back up a bit, prior to us purchasing our home the hubby starts a business venture of his own WITH OUT ME mind you…yes I’m hurt by this. He thought it would be better to involve his friends “people I do not like” and yes they now it! I find out on accident (over heard a phone conv) and his step-mom told me “she’s a bit nosing”. So then the truth comes out from him “yeah I got a business my business is sport training” me and *** friend I don’t like are during it together. Well I’m sure you know how this conversation went. Know I have never never never in all the years of our relationship heard this man talk about starting a sports training business never. He has always been into sports coaching my son’s football/soccer team and so on.
Fast forward to the present-
So after many many many conversations about this, he now realize that I’m the only real partner he has in life PERIOD not his Dad/Mom/friends will NOT be there for him as I wIll…point blank. He’s now trying to involve me into this venture kool but honestly I’m so over it…don’t really won’t anything to do with b/c of the way it started off and how long it took him to involve me and I honestly don’t see the value it would add to our family. My income from the daycare is still needed at a 100% for the family so that means I’m taking families I rather not/working hours I rather not and so on. My pray is that we can live on one income and the DC would just be a perk, I then would be able to pick and choose my families and hours.
The issue-
After getting himself a DBA #/business cards/shirts/flies & working out with a few kids from the neighborhood “not making any money” hubby realized oh I need to be non-profit ($400 fee) in order to advertise in side the schools and so I can rent out the school gym I need insurance another ($300) really? Ok, so I told him any overtime he works he can take and put towards this (that lasted about a week) then he was back at trying to dump the savings account. Take note-we don’t have a real savings account at this time, yes we have funds saved but by no means is it an true emergency fund! On top of this I’m loosing a kid this month ($560) gone, and he just started a new job (oh, did I not mention he got FIRED in January for something stupid from a company he’s been with for four years. So my position on all this is right know it’s not really feasible for us “him” to start another business year one of the DC starting up and the purchase of our first home. Yes you guessed it I’m the planner…I feel as though if I didn’t stay on top of things nothing would get done…nothing.
Questions I brought to him-
1) Who will bring our children to there activities if I have dck’s here and you’re off training some one? His answer oh, I just won’t schedule anyone when our kids have something to do. We have four kids dude someone will always have something going on.
2) How will this be profitable if your working a Mon-Fir 5am-3pm job getting home at 4:30 only to change cloths and then off to train? When will you see your kids/me take care of house stuff? His answer oh I will only train on the weekends uhmm that ant going work dude.
3) How do you plan on replacing the funds you take from savings? His answer well come this summer I will have a lot more business so I can. Me, I don’t see it happening this way you take $700 from the savings and let’s say you get some kids who want to work out, now you have to rent a space buy equipment pay your friend to help. No profit!
My Position-
1) I’m focus on getting out of debt about $30,000 not including the house.
2) Getting a bigger vehicle, we have a Toyota Rva4 for six people with two car seats it ant working.
3) Setting up an emergency fund.
4) College savings
5) Fixing up our house, how I lone for a real bed room set “ never had one that matches”
6) Fixing up the kids rooms
Super sorry for the long post this morning, but I really needed to get this out! Please any in sight/advice wisdom is much needed. Help!
: will wait
. 
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