Who's On The Other Side Of The Computer Screen

[Michelle]

hmmm

you could be Mickayla and have all your sentences end with happyface



How many versions of Michael in girl form could we come up with?

Mickey!
Mimi!
Kiki
Michelle! hehehe

[Country Kids]

I'm confused-:confused:. Are we talking about this happening on this forum?

How would they take our avatiar and name? Wouldn't they have to have our password?

Did something happen on here that I missed? I'm thinking it would be a case of identity theft.

Also, if you think about it, on dating sights you really, really never know who you are talking to. How often to you hear that it was a kid, older person, bald, same sex, etc.

[Blackcat31]

I've seen you on videotape. You and your brother look a lot alike. Talk like the peeps in NYC to my ears.

Would it matter if you were a girl though? I don't think so. If I found out today that someone was impostering you and they were female... I would be shocked about the turn of events but I would still know that the words between us were from "you".

There would be a sense of betrayal I suppose but I would adjust and figure you had your reasons why. It still wouldn't change the "relationship" that much.

I don't think though that would be a betrayal so to speak if he NEVER said in any words whether he was male or female. If YOU assumed he was one or the other, then that part would be on you.

When I first came on this forum, I did for a little while think that Michael was a girl. NOT because of anything he said or did but because this is a daycare forum and "most" men have no interest in daycare or any type of "hen pecking chatter" as my brothers so lovingly refer to woman who chat daily.

I assumed his avatar was a photo of "her" spouse. As a matter of fact, the photo you (Michael) were using when I first came on board is a standard issue photo I think... (???) and the fact that his name was Michael did not throw me in the slightest as I have a daughter with a VERY masculine name so...

Snickers... OK now I'm showing my age. All that variety talk about Michael brought this song to mind. happyface

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYPxqZa5CAI&feature=fvst

Kaddidle, I clicked into that link and immediately back out again after reading he title...NO WAY I want that song stuck in my head all day!

You bring up another interest point! What if someone impersonated you and said disparaging things to others. What if someone no longer talked to you and you could not figure out why. Someone could easily do damage with character/avatar assassination. You would never know that someone used your avatar to become you for a moment. There is a lot of room for mischief in this space and that 6th sense is important nurture IMO.
There is a good book or movie in this I’m sure. I think I have a great story line for my next webisode.

Like I said to you in chat.....a person's avatar is only an image and to me, people are far more acurately represented by their words, tones and patterns than they are by their pictures. I would hope that most of my long term virtual friends would know after a bit of chit chat that I was being impersonated.

As far as needing to know who a person really is, we have to trust our instincts and our senses. We have people living double lives and fake persona's right in front of us everyday. I read a lot of true crime/serial killers type books and people who are like that are capable of fooling even their own families so really the only thing we can trust is our own gut instincts and yes, we all make mistakes and could possibly get taken for a ride or have the wool pulled over our eyes, but the trick is to not do it repeatedly.

[Michael]

I'm confused-:confused:. Are we talking about this happening on this forum?

How would they take our avatiar and name? Wouldn't they have to have our password?

Did something happen on here that I missed? I'm thinking it would be a case of identity theft.

Also, if you think about it, on dating sights you really, really never know who you are talking to. How often to you hear that it was a kid, older person, bald, same sex, etc.

Its an open topic of discussion. It is not happening here but what I am trying to make users of the internet understand, is it can happen anywhere.

If someone wanted to try it here they could say that they are registered but logged out. I think some at first would believe this and what was said could do some short term damage until the true member got hold of what was happening and did damage control. Not a big deal here but what if someone continued this play and when to other social websites and continued the damage.

Don't get me wrong, I am for an unregulated internet but these are the issues that will be used in order to get us to give up much of the freedoms we have now on the internet. I see similar movement in our political and social environment within our own nation and world.

Just having some deep discussion today.

[Kaddidle Care]

I used to chat and play online games with someone that had what I thought was a "Male" moniker. A bunch of us thought this person was male. Well.. I met HER in person. Gorgeous Red Head! :: We just laughed. "I thought you were a guy!"

I guess it depends on how personal your conversations get.

I think there is a huge difference between say.. playing a character online and downright deceit.

But.. this is why we need to look over our children's shoulders from time to time so that they don't end up in a chat room with some nut job.

[Michael]

...a person's avatar is only an image and to me, people are far more acurately represented by their words, tones and patterns than they are by their pictures. I would hope that most of my long term virtual friends would know after a bit of chit chat that I was being impersonated.

Well in here you touch on the foundations of the 6th sense. "words, tones and patterns" do not have to be of a physical nature. These can also be sensed in the virtual space and something that will evolve over time if need be for our "data" survival.

[Lucy]

If some of the posters here were to write something as unregistered, I may know who they are simply by the WAY they write. There are some here who have a very distinctive writing pattern. They use the same words often, spell the same word wrong all the time...that kind of thing.

Yes!! I have done that a time or two. Like you say, it's all in the use of particular words, whether they have a good vocabulary, good grammar skills, and their misspellings of certain words repeatedly. I've read some "I'm registered but signed out for privacy" postings, and thought to myself, "this is totally so-and-so".

[Lianne]

I tend to take people online at face (heh) value but with a hint of skepticism/cynicism which is when my instincts come in. My level of skepticism or cynicism depends on how personal or sensitive the board's purpose is for me.

Take this board, for example. If someone is lying about who they say they are on here, it doesn't really make any difference to the purpose of the board which is to discuss daycare issues. If I was on a board about adoption, to use NannyDe's experience, or childhood abuse where people are sharing personal, sensitive stories, my sense of skepticism would be heightened. I'm not saying I assume any new person is automatically lying but I'm more likely to feel something is 'off' about a poster and much more likely to care if they are lying.

Lets face it, someone lying about a sensitive topic like abuse or adoption is going to be more hurtful than someone lying about running/working a daycare

If my instincts tell me something is off with a poster, I keep a mental note of it and observe them over time. Depending on the situation and how things unfold, I may bring my concerns to a mod or back away from the board quietly. I may also realize I was wrong. My instincts are pretty good. Not just in sussing out online liars, , but in most aspects of my life. I try hard to listen to and to respect my gut instinct in all things....except at 1am when my instincts tell me there are boogey men in my basement or under my bed

[My3cents]

Michael,

You could still be anyone and I/we would never know it. This stuff happens in "real" life. Craigslist Killer, the husband that lives another life with another women, etc.....

It's about choice. I choose to believe, that you are who you say you are and until I know differently I choose to friend you. I do it with caution. (With everyone and for reasons personal to me) This is why I am the worst mother on the planet, because I won't allow my 14 year old daughter to have a facebook account. Sorry to many nut jobs out there.

Unless your very outspoken or maybe non caring towards this subject, I think many people like having their identity hidden behind an avatar. It gives us the freedom to say what we think with out being scrutinized as much as we would be if we told say a "real" friend

I may chat with the Flinstone Stoner here, whereas if I were out in public would stay away from that person, for anything more then a hello....even a hello is pushing it. I don't like to think of myself as racist/stereotype r but deep down within all of us that instinct is there....6th sense...yes. I believe it is. Protective instincts and choice of how I don't want to live.

I come here to make use of the wealth of information available, to escape for a bit and connect with adults, to learn share and hopefully help and maybe even make someone's day brighter by an encouraging word or two. I come here for many reasons and none of them to be deceitful or hurt another human being. Because no matter who you are on the other end your a human with feelings. I do fall short often and I am sorry if I have ever hurt someone by my little old 3cents.

Tooooooooooooooo deep for me::

[My3cents]

Its an open topic of discussion. It is not happening here but what I am trying to make users of the internet understand, is it can happen anywhere.

If someone wanted to try it here they could say that they are registered but logged out. I think some at first would believe this and what was said could do some short term damage until the true member got hold of what was happening and did damage control. Not a big deal here but what if someone continued this play and when to other social websites and continued the damage.

Don't get me wrong, I am for an unregulated internet but these are the issues that will be used in order to get us to give up much of the freedoms we have now on the internet. I see similar movement in our political and social environment within our own nation and world.

Just having some deep discussion today.

Its already out there. If you commit a crime. The first thing they do is take your computer and go right through it. Once you put something out there on the internet, it never really goes away. Same with your cell phones.

Deep discussions that make me think outside of kiddo land are one of the biggest reasons I like to come to the forums. It's a social escape for me, other then kid talk.

Thanks to all of you- I appreciate each and everyone of you. If your not who you say you are.......well thanks too, thanks for taking me for a ride. I hope if your not who you are you are someone fabulous in your make believe world I hope that you don't hurt me with your pretend games. I just don't need that, enough of that in the real world-

[dEHmom]

I personally enjoy the virtual world. Not because people can be someone other than who they really are, but because I truly believe that despite who people "pretend" or try to be, their real personalities come out and give them away.....at least to me.

My rational for this is that appearances create a thousand pre-conceived notions about a person loooong before they even utter a word. I may look at someone's clothing, facial expression, body language and a million other things and decide a few things based on what I see. The conclusions I come to when I "see" someone are rooted deeply into the cultures, customs and basically tied to the way I was raised and grown. They may not all be right or wrong assumptions but they are immediate knee jerk assumptions that come to mind. We ALL do this. We may not all come up with the same assumptions, but we do all make these quick little judgements when we see someone before speaking with them.

I prefer the internet/virtual world for getting to really know someone. (Like you, Michael, I tend to trust everyone unless I have reason to do so.) However, I am also able to pick up little things in a person's words that tells me ALOT about the person. I "see" things in the words they use, the sentence structure and the general feel of what they say. Yes, people can "pretend" to be something/someone they are not but it is truly a difficult thing to pull off post after post after post without giving something (even miniscule) away.

I am also drawn to certain posters for the same little reasons. The places they add smilies to, the words they choose, the things they are offended by and the things they laugh at are all indicators of commonality between myself and someone else.

I also think a person's self-esteem or self-image plays alot into how well you are able to really read another person as who they are. I don't take offense when someone says something that could be taken harshly unless they outright say somthing like, "you ****" or whatever, I assume the best in most folks and always assume most people are simply looking for something (what they are looking for is as individual as the person) but rarely is it to hurt another person or to outright lie to them or be someone they are not.

Then there is the other side of the coin (me). If I do find someone's motives to be untrue or false or even just plain mean or deceitful, I can be a very unforgiving. I tend to simply stand back and allow them the space they need to "out" themselves as I believe most people cannot continue a charade forever (unless truly psychopathic or mentally unstable in the first place) and most times will stumble or trip and give themselves away. How long that takes is also an individual thing.

I also believe I am also a pretty good judge of character and can forgive when warranted, tolerate when necessary and also be a bit vindictive and revengeful if I feel the need. Which in my opinion, vindictive and or revengeful tendencies are self-serving so it is not often I go that route. I am an optimist and believe that there is a good in everyone and that we all deserve to be trusted and perceived as having positive intentions before others become attached or muddle up in any negative or biased judgments against us.


(I don't really believe in horoscopes or those kinds of things but I am a Scorpio if that adds anything to the mix...... LOL!! )

to be honest, aside from your awesome words, this sounds like me.
i agree to everything above

[MsMe]

I met my BF online and he turned out to be everything he said he was.

We had such great luck (and quick too! We met afterjust two weeks on the site) we encouraged his Mother to join...she has met nothing but men who are fibbing about who they are

[Michael]

If my instincts tell me something is off with a poster, I keep a mental note of it and observe them over time. Depending on the situation and how things unfold, I may bring my concerns to a mod or back away from the board quietly. I may also realize I was wrong. My instincts are pretty good. Not just in sussing out online liars, , but in most aspects of my life. I try hard to listen to and to respect my gut instinct in all things....except at 1am when my instincts tell me there are boogey men in my basement or under my bed

Why is it always a boogey men and never boogey women. No wonder guys are not welcome here? jk ::

Take it a step further with your analogy. If you knew someone was behind the screen but both of you did not correspond; could you sense who they were? They know you're there, you know they are there. Do you have that ability? Could you develop that ability? I think over time as a species we will "because" of the internet. Otherwise everything will have to be managed and labeled by the government as "approved". I think even twitter does that with personality brands. "so & so" is Validated.

Are we going to allow the government or other entity to tell us what is real and what's not? I say, develop those faculties ourselves.

Michael,

You could still be anyone and I/we would never know it. This stuff happens in "real" life. Craigslist Killer, the husband that lives another life with another women, etc.....

I come here to make use of the wealth of information available, to escape for a bit and connect with adults, to learn share and hopefully help and maybe even make someone's day brighter by an encouraging word or two. I come here for many reasons and none of them to be deceitful or hurt another human being. Because no matter who you are on the other end your a human with feelings. I do fall short often and I am sorry if I have ever hurt someone by my little old 3cents.

Tooooooooooooooo deep for me::

Never too deep, I enjoy discussion. Our country does not do it so well anymore because we have become so polarized with eveyone being lableed as this or that. I am both a liberal and conservative. Some will say there is no such thing.

I appreciate that you enjoy the forum but do you know why I pay for it and "man" it every day? I am not going to answer my question and it is not rhetorical in its intent. I want to know what some of you think. What does you inner sense tell you? You can log off if you want to answer this. haha

[/b]

Its already out there. If you commit a crime. The first thing they do is take your computer and go right through it. Once you put something out there on the internet, it never really goes away. Same with your cell phones.

Deep discussions that make me think outside of kiddo land are one of the biggest reasons I like to come to the forums. It's a social escape for me, other then kid talk.

Thanks to all of you- I appreciate each and everyone of you. If your not who you say you are.......well thanks too, thanks for taking me for a ride. I hope if your not who you are you are someone fabulous in your make believe world I hope that you don't hurt me with your pretend games. I just don't need that, enough of that in the real world-

Thanks for the nice words.

There in itself you make my point. If we develop these skills within ourselves they can't take our brains and unload them, yet.

You don't even need to commit a crime for them to get access to you. Heck, in my opinion Facebook, Google and a slew of other companies are already doing it with your permission.

Read the fine lines before you sign up. Understand what they mean when they say they use "what" information to do "what". We never really take the time or "have" the time to go through it all. We think, if my friends do it, it must be ok. Really? Do you approve someone as a Facebook friend (not knowing who they are) because many of your friends have already befriended them? Be careful, corporations study very closely how to mass manage their audiences and consumers.

NannyDe writes about King Corn, Sugar Blues, and the Got Milk industries. I could even be sued for writing about it! Remember Oprah having to protect herself against the meat industry? You can move anybody one little step at a time. Before you know it, we are them.

I'm going way off chart here but I felt like writing today.

[Lucy]

Ok, ok!!! I'm a 62 yr old MAN!! Are you satisfied???

[Mary Poppins]

Ok, ok!!! I'm a 62 yr old MAN!! Are you satisfied???

No, but if you come by later with some liquor and a bottle of little blue pills...

Nevermind.