Who's On The Other Side Of The Computer Screen

[nannyde]

I think there is a switchover now with non verbal behavior that is in large part what happens from our fingertips out.

IRL and on tv I have noticed a huge surge in fingertip expression and full body language that supports the concentration of body energy at the fingertips. I see it in the kids when they are playing with a play phone. They used to hold it in one palm of one hand and with the other hand fingerpoint pressing the button. Now when they play phone they hold it with two hands and have their thumbs do the button pressing.

That's happened over the last three years or so.

My son found a phone outside the other day. He'll pick up anything off of the ground and the cell phone without a battery was a HUGE score. He carried it around all day yesterday and even tho he's never had a cell phone he was able to completely copy the body language that comes with a phone. I know the little bugger has it in his pocket at school today.. but I forgot to frisk him before he left.

When you watch shows like teen mom or any "reality" show... watch their body language and at the end of each scene ask yourself how much of that body language was about the using, holding, checking of the phone. Watch how the phone plays a part in when they are happy and sad. Watch what they do when they are stressed.

Whether we want it or not... there is a part of our behavior that is manifested by what comes out our fingertips both by phone and computers. It's not separate. We have the technology now that the electronic stuff has now been intergrated into who we are.

[Kaddidle Care]

Nannyde - your story reminded me of a situation on a Golden Retriever forum where a woman (who was very involved in Rescue) wrote a horrendous story about her dog being SHOT in the shoulder while they were on a Golf Course.

About a month later she posted lovely photos of her dog, showing him from both sides and folks, there was no shaved shoulder - which you know there would be had it really been shot and they would have had to remove a bullet. Phoney Baloney! I hate to say it but for every person in Rescue that is good, there are just as many that are over the top nutters!

Blackcat - It would be hard for me to post "unregistered" as I do have a distinct writing style. (If you could call it that.)
BTW - an online friend who calls herself Scorpio tends to do a lot of online mooning. :: She just loves that little smilie that shows it's rear!

While I pride myself on telling the truth, I'm not very free with providing folks online with my real name, etc. Some forums I belong to have mailing lists and send each other cards and such. My name and address are not on those lists.

I will get close... but not too close. KWIM?

[My3cents]

I grilled you Michael when I first started posting on the boards. I was curious why a male would be hanging around daycare boards, that didn't do daycare. Read your bio, and called you out on it. A red flag came up for me that scared me. Why...... because of background that has nothing to do with this board or me, and it was where I was at the time. I didn't trust you. I thought your wife was posting for you. My 6th sense went into overdrive. I did my homework and found out more about you and now feel "safe", safe enough to share my personal information with you and the board mods and to know it's not going anywhere other then for your eyes and information only. Michael if I needed help on anything techno- I would come to you for help. You earned my trust probably without even realizing.

Even though I have not met any of you- I consider you friends, online friends. Some of you are closer friends to me then others and that is because I can relate to you more then others. I wouldn't say that I am drawn to people that share the same interest, I am drawn to what draws me.

I easily get side tracked so many of you would know it was me posting and I don't have the best grammar and spelling. Spell check is my friend. I love to use faces, maybe not always as they are intended for. I know what I want to say but forming that in my head and then putting it out for all of you doesn't come easy to me. I have to work at it.

I have always had a sixth sense about me. I am not always right on, but when I am, I am

I have been "friends" with another board for over 14 years. Seen tons of quack jobs on that board.Trolls, trouble starters, agitators etc.. Have not met these people but I still consider them my friends. Talked on the tele to some.

I like that I don't see what you look like- it allows me to be friends with you and not judge you or put up a notion that your someone other then who you are inside. I try very hard not to judge, but we all do it as a defense mechanism to guard us from many things. Blackcat, I could have wrote your post.....even down to the Scorpio. Until someone runs at the mouth and make me not think well of you, I try to think the best in everyone.

Some of you on this board are closer to me then you know. I consider you friends even if you don't.

I think you can develop a 6th over time, just by being active here or wherever you frequent on the net. I often read post but don't respond- I can't. I don't have time for everyone of them. I pick and chose what interest me or what I feel I can offer to others for helps.

Anywhoooo tooooo deep for Monday::

[nannyde]

I grilled you Michael when I first started posting on the boards. I was curious why a male would be hanging around daycare boards, that didn't do daycare.

I lurked here for a long time before I posted so Michael being a guy didn't phase me at all.

All I could think of was that he was brilliant enough to put the two words "day" and "care" together and get the domain name. Then he built it out.

I would have never searched the word "daycare" together. I always used "day care". It took me a long time to adjust to the word once I came upon this place.

[My3cents]

I grilled you Michael when I first started posting on the boards. I was curious why a male would be hanging around daycare boards, that didn't do daycare.

I lurked here for a long time before I posted so Michael being a guy didn't phase me at all.

All I could think of was that he was brilliant enough to put the two words "day" and "care" together and get the domain name. Then he built it out.

I would have never searched the word "daycare" together. I always used "day care". It took me a long time to adjust to the word once I came upon this place.

I lurked too, for a long time

[Michael]

I lurked too, for a long time

....and if I had registered as a female? I think there are more males on the forum then we preceive. You are making my point for me.

[Greenplasticwateringcans]

Did you fall asleep in the middle of my pm? Better than any sleeping medicatation you could buy over the counter... that's for sure.

I'll tell ya a story but it will most likely make you drowsy so don't operate any heavy machinery after reading this until you have had a cup of joe.

Back in the day I was on an adoption debate board with a lot of women who were trying to adopt and some who had adopted or were adopted. Open adoption was a HOT HOT topic in those days. It would cause explosive fireworks debates in a split second. Most of the pro open adoption folks were birthmothers who were denied access to their child after being told when they relinquished parental rights that they would have access to them (face to face visits promised). So the birthmothers were the walking wounded because of the betrayal.

The folks against face to face open adoption were primarily the prospective adoptive parents and some already adopters.

So we are on the boards for YEARS together and there was a lady on there who had a three year old adopted daughter AND the child's birthmother was on the board too. They had a really magical open adoption and were very entwined into each others lives. Whenever the debate threads were ready to die down the birthmother of her kid would come on and tell us how wonderful the adoptive parent was and how sad she was that there was so many of the adopters who didn't care enough about the birthmother and their child to share the child.

Well come to find out the adoptive mother made up the birthmother. She wasn't on the board... had never posted... the whole thing was a made up deal. The adoptive mother had befriended a number of the board birthmothers and gave out contact info. They had gone as far as talking on the phone many times over the years. The adoptive mother counselled a LOT of hurting women.

The adoptive mother decided to kill off the birthmother and that's when it got very very nasty. She claimed she committed suicide. The suspicious posters started digging and found out that no one by the name, age, or sex of the birthmother had died in the area they had "both" claimed to live in. At that time newspapers were starting to print obits and with a young woman such as the birthmother there was suspicion because there was NOTHING in the press and nothing in the obits.

So one of the birthmothers who the adoptive parent befriended lived really close to where the adoptive mom lived and did some online research about the names given and somehow actually found the birthmother. She found her working at a big box drug store alive and well. She had never heard of the board and was not in an open adoption. She was mentally handicapped and lost her baby by adoption because she was unable to care for her. The only part of the story that was true was she had placed her daughter for adoption to this poster. The rest was all made up.

This ruse went on for YEARS. The adoptive mom posting about OA and then soon enough the birthmother came along and verified what a great adoptive mom she was. It was impossible to even debate the adoptive mom because she had her own child's birthmother coming along saying how wonderful she was and how whatever open adoption relationship she was debating was true and easy to do.

The adoptive mom had given SO many real life details that when she killed off the birthmother in her ruse it was enough details to figure out the story wasn't real.

Now I never suspected the birthmother wasn't real. The only thing I suspected was that the stories weren't real. They just didn't make sense. I never had any non board convos with her and I debated her pretty strongly. The birthmothers were very upset because they had developed a personal relationship with her and gave her a ton of their personal stories they would want private over YEARS.

It took a long time for the people who were hoodwinked by her to get over it. It reset the board because the ultimate open adoption with verification posters were no longer there. It reset the debates because the outer limit had just been found to be not real.

I'm still friends with two of the ladies on that board. It was a trip and honestly very hurtful to the ones who spent a couple of years confiding in her and following her advice.

That is a heart breaking story

I don't even have the words to articulate how sad that is.

Not totally shocked though as I've seen a lot of appalling behavioir on adoption boards.

[nannyde]

....and if I had registered as a female? I think there are more males on the forum then we preceive. You are making my point for me.

hmmm

you could be Mickayla and have all your sentences end with happyface



How many versions of Michael in girl form could we come up with?

[Blackcat31]

hmmm

you could be Mickayla and have all your sentences end with happyface



How many versions of Michael in girl form could we come up with?

My friend from high school has Michael, Randy and Tyler. They are all girls.

[nannyde]

My friend from high school has Michael, Randy and Tyler. They are all girls.

Mickaleena pronounced:
Mick-ah-lee-nahhappyface

[Michael]

Mickaleena pronounced:
Mick-ah-lee-nahhappyface

Ok, I was hoping this line of conversation was going to change. I am ALL guy/male/opposite sex. And in Nannyde's words KNOCK IT OFF ::::::

[nannyde]

Ok, I was hoping this line of conversation was going to change. I am ALL guy/male/opposite sex. And in Nannyde's words KNOCK IT OFF ::::::

I've seen you on videotape. You and your brother look a lot alike. Talk like the peeps in NYC to my ears.

Would it matter if you were a girl though? I don't think so. If I found out today that someone was impostering you and they were female... I would be shocked about the turn of events but I would still know that the words between us were from "you".

There would be a sense of betrayal I suppose but I would adjust and figure you had your reasons why. It still wouldn't change the "relationship" that much.

[Kaddidle Care]

Snickers... OK now I'm showing my age. All that variety talk about Michael brought this song to mind. happyface

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYPxqZa5CAI&feature=fvst

[Michael]

After chatting with BlackCat about deep conversation I decided to post what I deleted late last night. Maybe this will stir up some more conversation on the matter.

--------------------------


Nannyde PM'd me a long but good reply to this thread. I don't think I explained myself well enough on what I was trying to put forth in my original opener.

You all know who I am and some may know my history but let’s, for a moment, consider that I am new member.

My name is Mickaleena and I am single with one child. I am 24 years old and I live in NYC and of Chinese decent. These are all the things I mention in my New Member thread.

How do you know I'm not this person/description? You may not care at this point but let’s say a few of you over time become good friends with Mickaleena on the forum, Facebook or twitter. You form a visual picture in your mind with some feelings and over time have added a few more features to her virtual profile. You've even told Mickaleena some personal things between women.

Would it bother you at some point if you found out Mickaleena was not that description? Would it make you pause about what you may have told her? Take it a step further. You actually have extended feelings toward Mickaleena but she may really be "your" father, mother, family member or neighbor but she never has to told you since you never have meet or talk via "normal" interactive situations.

We have become avatars in non-sensory space. We can be whoever we choose to be.

Now that would be very unsettling for me as I am sure it would be for many of you. There are things I would never say to a family member or opposite sex. I would really want that 6th sense. Or would you rather not know? Ignorance is bliss?

I am sure some of you will not comment on this thread but haven't any of you wondered about this?

[Michael]

I've seen you on videotape. You and your brother look a lot alike. Talk like the peeps in NYC to my ears.

Would it matter if you were a girl though? I don't think so. If I found out today that someone was impostering you and they were female... I would be shocked about the turn of events but I would still know that the words between us were from "you".

There would be a sense of betrayal I suppose but I would adjust and figure you had your reasons why. It still wouldn't change the "relationship" that much.

You bring up another interest point! What if someone impersonated you and said disparaging things to others. What if someone no longer talked to you and you could not figure out why. Someone could easily do damage with character/avatar assassination. You would never know that someone used your avatar to become you for a moment. There is a lot of room for mischief in this space and that 6th sense is important to nurture IMO.

There is a good book or movie in this I’m sure. I think I have a great story line for my next webisode.

Maybe:
Doppleganger
Deadenders
Hidden Messages