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ummm....yeah, that is the point. The whole reason for putting her to bed right when she gets to you is because she is clearly exhausted and sleep deprived. She needs more sleep PLUS you cant even be sure that she is getting a full nights rest, no matter what the parents say. I think we can all agree that it is next to impossible to get a clear answer from a parent about what a child is doing at home. Either they dont know, try to make everything look perfect by saying what they think you want to hear, or just flat out lie so the issues seem like the provider's fault. Please just try the naps first thing in the morning and then decide.
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I have one that I have had major sleep issues, she is 6 mos. Things are slowly getting better. She gets up at 6:30 and is ready for naptime by 7:30 or 8. She sleeps 12 hours at night, too. I found that if I tried to push her morning nap out to 9am, she wouldn't nap more than 30 minutes all day long. I wouldn't feel bad about putting her down earlier.
MnMum married to DH 9 years
Mum to Girl 21, Girl 18, Boy 14.5, Boy 11Comment
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Will do.
Thanks Cheerfuldom. Hopefully it works! Actually it HAS to work. I am willing to give it a couple more weeks, but if she doesn't start sleeping better, I have no choice but to give notice. She is miserable, and I'm miserable. My own family can't really enjoy me b/c I am so frazzled by day's end.
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Although I have had my fair share of "fibbers"
not all lie.
Just as I can get the truth from my little ones. I can usually get the truth from adults too. So I still ask.
I dont disreagard all they tell me. Kind of like a self help book... You take what info applies to you and toss the rest! Which can be a large %
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Oh my, I so understand and feel your pain. I have one similar to this and it is so frustrating! :-( I am up at 5 30 am for this little and even though he has been up since 5 or so he will just not not sleep. I have tried morning naps and all he will do is jump or bang on the pnp or dance around in it and whine. He has never had an am nap since being here for 6 months. If he does sleep in the afternoon it is only for about 30 minutes and in order for him to go to sleep I have to stay right beside him and not let him stand up. If he stays still for a few minutes he is right asleep but won't stay asleep. He whines and is so miserable all day. He definitely needs the sleep. It makes for a really long day.Comment
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Oh of course I dont disregard what a parent says at all. But with some parents, you just have to take it with a grain of salt. I know my comment came off like it was an "absolute" statement but that was more sarcasm than anything else.Although I have had my fair share of "fibbers" not all lie.
Just as I can get the truth from my little ones. I can usually get the truth from adults too. So I still ask.
I dont disreagard all they tell me. Kind of like a self help book... You take what info applies to you and toss the rest! Which can be a large %
My final thought is that if a kid is yawning and cranky and has barely been up an hour, that means that the last time they slept was not long enough. Its hard with daycare because young babies have to get up and be on mama's schedule and on provider's schedule from day one and not every baby is happy with that.Comment
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I COMPLETELY understand! I wouldn't do it for a daycare kid either, but I thought I would throw it out there as a suggestion, since it worked for me.Thanks for the suggestions. I am so happy your DD is finally sleeping well for you!
I can completely understand that amount of time & devotion you had to get your DD napping well for you; but I just can't do that here. I can't give up my only rest time for 11 hours so that I can watch her sleep and get her back to a deep sleep before she fully wakes. And then spend the time transitioning her back to a pack n play, and then transitioning her back to not being able to see me. I just don't have that kind of time or commitment. I value my QUIET rest time way too much to allow for that. Especially since my QUIET rest time is only anywhere from 20-40 minutes each day.
I did notice that when dd was 12 months old things all around got a lot easier- her comprehension was a lot better. Hopefully with op's suggestions and time things will get better!
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Update!
So, I wasn't supposed to have non-napper today. DCM told me two weeks ago that she was taking the day off to spend with her mom and she'd be keeping dcg home for some quality time with g-ma. I even got confirmation on Fri that indeed they would be gone today.
I got a text Sat night stating she had changed her mind. Gma couldn't come to town b/c she was ill; and she'd be bringing dcg on Mon. Since she is paying for the day regardless; I felt like I couldn't say no. But I sure was bummed. I need a break from this little one that doesn't sleep. To top it off; I'm pretty darn sure DCM has the day off today still. She came in sweats and slippers and looked like she'd just gotten out of bed. Said she was working from home. She hasn't worked from home in months. Wierd timing that she'd be working from home on a day she told me she had off.
Anyway, I did her typical pre-nap routine and put her to bed by 8:30 instead of 9. She screamed like I had betrayed her (the typical scream I get if I try to put her down late afternoon for a third nap). She screamed until just after 9. And is awake and screaming 30 minutes later. I know it's day 1 of earlier nap; but I feel like there is no changing this stubborn little girl. She just refuses to sleep.
Have any of you termed a non-sleeper? Do you think I am in the right to hand them a termination letter on Fri?Comment
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Being a parent of a child who was termed for nap issues, I completely understand! You have to have peace! I did, however resent my op and thought she didn't know what she was doing.... Until I opened a daycare and had to deal with it myself. The parents may not understand, but after personally being on both sides of the fence, you would not be in the wrong for terming. Honestly, it sounds like that baby's personality is not comparable with your nap methods and she needs to be somewhere where she can have more 1:1 attention during naptime. Good luck!Comment
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Sounds to me like she should be on her own schedule and be allowed to sleep in as long as she wants. My son is this way, id hate to see him have to get up early every morning because he would be just like this little girl. I think you are completely in the right to term if you want. Just explain that she is just not happy here and cant sleep and you hate to see her miserable. The parents should understand, wont be thrilled about finding someone else though. Dont feel bad for doing whats right for you and your family.Comment
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Thanks SunshineMama and Christina'skids. I feel awful in considering termination; but in the end I need to gain my sanity back for me and my family.
I have drafted the following termination letter and I would love some input on it. BlackCat (if you're reading it), I took a termination letter I saw you post once and made it my own. Hope that is okay!
03/16/2012
Dear Parent,
This letter is to provide written notice of my intent to discontinue child care services for daycare girl. At this time I feel that I am unable to meet daycare girl's needs. Despite great efforts, I have been unable to establish a sleep routine that results in the amount of sleep she requires during the day. As a result, she is unhappy and sleepy for a majority of the time she is in my care. I feel it would be a disservice to her to continue caring for her in an environment that she is not able to thrive in.
The last day I will provide services is April 6, 2012. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to provide care for daycare girl. It has been a wonderful experience and I wish you and your family the best.
Sincerely
Daycare Provider Name
Daycare
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sorry, I am not the best in English, but it sounds like LOTS of words.
Maybe don;t repeat the same words so many times..
I think i would take this part out
Despite great efforts, I have been unable to establish a sleep routine that results in the amount of sleep she requires during the day. As a result, she is unhappy and sleepy for a majority of the time she is in my care. I feel it would be a disservice to her to continue caring for her in an environment that she is not able to thrive in.
otherwise it looks great...Comment
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Butterfly...Do not feel bad about terming over this. I too have termed over a very similiar situation.
I started care of a 4 wk old dcb. All was golden until about 4 months when he started to fight his naps. Eventually I got him on a great routine. He was napping perfectly, that is until dcm took a week off work in November. When he came back he was a mess. Wouldn't sleep, cried constantly.
I just kept telling myself it will get better..this too shall pass!! Well it didn't! Christmas break dcm took off another week. And he came back worse then ever. He literally screamed for the entire week. At the end of the week I terminated care. Dcm was not willing to work with me because she would say "well he's fine at home, so I don't know what the problem is!". LIE!!
Anyways, Best decision I ever made!! I would do it again too! I will never keep a child like that in my care ever again. It took a huge toll on my family life and my daycare. I now have a new little guy, and after a few adjustment weeks he is now a perfect dc baby!! And his parents are great too!Comment
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If it were me, I would not go into too many details about why (in the letter). I would just say:
Dear Family,
Please consider this letter as an official notification that, effective XX/XX/***X, I will no longer be able to provide childcare services for _______.
Thank you,
I would tell them on friday about the situation, and advise them that in your opinion, the child is not responding to your regular naptime routine, and that you feel the child would be better suited for more individualized care, with someone who is able to put the work in. I would never say in a letter that I couldn't meet the needs of the child, because that can be interpreted in too many ways and then there is a piece of paper with your name on it out there saying you can't do your job, (IF that's how the parents want to twist the situation). Honestly, the mom will never know how hard it is to get by with a non-napper unless she does it herself, which she won't, so be prepared for them to have some not-nice things to say. (All NOT your fault, BTW). I was completely shocked when dd got termed, but I dont blame the provider (now, anyway) at all.Comment
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