At My Wit's End With Non-Napper- HELP!

[Lilbutterflie]

Hi ladies!

Yes, it's another napping vent! Any suggestions are welcome as I am completely at my wit's end.

I have had a DCG for 7 months now. She is now 9 mos. I think I have had a total of three weeks where she has napped well for me. Typically, she has no trouble falling asleep. Sometimes cries for 5-10 min, but mostly goes right to sleep. My problem is getting her to STAY asleep for longer than 30 to 45 minutes. I have tried EVERYTHING you guys. I am VERY consistent. Starting at about 5 months of age, I have let her just cry it out. I make sure she isn't poopy, and let her cry until naptime is over. Sometimes she cries herself back to sleep at the very end of naptime, sometimes not. I have a sleep sheep, doesn't help. I have a white noise CD, doesn't help.

At about 7 months of age, when she started fully sleeping through the night; she finally started sleeping about an hour and a half each nap and she was a totally different baby!! I started to really enjoy her instead of listening to her crying and whining all day long from lack of sleep.

Then, she started teething about a month ago, and we went back to square one. She is getting a total of 1 hr to 2 hrs sleep TOTAL during a 10 hour period with me. It is NOT enough! She is super cranky all the time; and I am just beside myself b/c I cannot handle it anymore. I am actually thinking about terming b/c I am so unhappy and frustrated. She isn't happy either.

Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

[cheerfuldom]

I'd give it one more go of consistent CIO. If you have to, check on her and tuck her back in over and over until she sleeps sufficiently. anybody that wakes up crying and cranky here goes back to bed, period. Even my 4 year old says "crybabies go back to bed!". I would use a darkened room by herself with the white noise. I had one really tough cookie that had to do CIO for a week and spent a lot of time in the PNP....this was a last ditch effort before terming. She finally gave in and napped and thank God for that!

[countrymom]

what is your schedual for her and then we can help you.

[My3cents]

I feel for you.

I have a 40 minute napper. He wakes up and talks and is good to go. He has always fought sleep, both home and here.

Because of this child. I feel some kids are just wired differently then others. He is last one down and first one up. Super smart. I think he is afraid to miss out on something going on.

My nappers are all in one room, my daycare is open floor. I do sleep music, fan, today the vacuum running did the trick.

I watch him and its like his little body can't stop, wind down- no matter. He twist and turns and his feet are always moving. Never been one to let me rock him. His brain is turning to be one step ahead of everyone else. Early walker, smart little guy.

What I do is when he wakes up, I give him books to talk too and it works for a little bit, but it is very draining.

NanDe has good ideas-
Good luck-

I too put up with it for a long time, so long that I felt it was silly to start complaining about it now and to just commit to making it work. He can't help it. It is his body and the way he works. Love the little bugger too, and his parents.

I believe children need good naps but this one is pill.

[Lilbutterflie]

I'd give it one more go of consistent CIO. If you have to, check on her and tuck her back in over and over until she sleeps sufficiently. anybody that wakes up crying and cranky here goes back to bed, period. Even my 4 year old says "crybabies go back to bed!". I would use a darkened room by herself with the white noise. I had one really tough cookie that had to do CIO for a week and spent a lot of time in the PNP....this was a last ditch effort before terming. She finally gave in and napped and thank God for that!

This is what I do- Every. Single. Day. For four weeks straight since she stopped napping well again. Like I said, in the SEVEN months I've had her- I've really only had about 3-4 weeks (from the age of 7 mos old to 8 mos old) where she has napped decently. As I am typing this she is screaming because she woke up 25 minutes after falling asleep and wants to get up. I am so frustrated. I just don't think I can handle it any longer.

[Lilbutterflie]

what is your schedual for her and then we can help you.

Her schedule goes like this:

7:45am- Arrival. Goes straight to high chair to eat breakfast which is usually little finger foods like plain pancake and bananas, etc...

8:15am - 9:00am- Play. Crawling, pulling herself up, etc... Sometimes the jumper, too.

9:00am-11:00am- Naptime. Usually is awake by 9:30-9:45 and plays/cries until 11:00.

11:00am: 8oz bottle

11:00am-12:00pm- Play. Crawling, pulling herself up, etc... Sometimes the jumper, or exersaucer. Sometimes outdoor play during this time as well.

12:00am- Lunch. Finger foods or baby food.

12:00pm-12:45pm- Play. Same as described above.

12:45-2:45pm: Naptime. Usually is awake by 1:15pm and plays/cries until 2:45. Occasionally will cry herself back to sleep (maybe 2-3 times per week) and will sleep about 40 add'l minutes.

2:45pm-5:45pm: Play, outdoor play, walks around the neighborhood until her mom picks her up. From about 4pm until 5:45pm she is absolutely unbearable. If I try to put her back down for a 3rd nap- she screams like I have never heard a baby scream before. I have tried CIO for this and it has never worked. I cannot get her to take a third nap ever.

[SunshineMama]

Hi ladies!

Yes, it's another napping vent! Any suggestions are welcome as I am completely at my wit's end.

I have had a DCG for 7 months now. She is now 9 mos. I think I have had a total of three weeks where she has napped well for me. Typically, she has no trouble falling asleep. Sometimes cries for 5-10 min, but mostly goes right to sleep. My problem is getting her to STAY asleep for longer than 30 to 45 minutes. I have tried EVERYTHING you guys. I am VERY consistent. Starting at about 5 months of age, I have let her just cry it out. I make sure she isn't poopy, and let her cry until naptime is over. Sometimes she cries herself back to sleep at the very end of naptime, sometimes not. I have a sleep sheep, doesn't help. I have a white noise CD, doesn't help.

At about 7 months of age, when she started fully sleeping through the night; she finally started sleeping about an hour and a half each nap and she was a totally different baby!! I started to really enjoy her instead of listening to her crying and whining all day long from lack of sleep.

Then, she started teething about a month ago, and we went back to square one. She is getting a total of 1 hr to 2 hrs sleep TOTAL during a 10 hour period with me. It is NOT enough! She is super cranky all the time; and I am just beside myself b/c I cannot handle it anymore. I am actually thinking about terming b/c I am so unhappy and frustrated. She isn't happy either.

Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

My dd was like that. She even got "termed" from her daycare provider because of it (hence, me becoming a provider). Her doc said that she is in the 10% of babies for which CIO doesnt work. I finally got her to nap well. This is what I had to do:

After I got her to sleep (I did babywearing to get her to sleep), I laid her on the couch and literally watched her sleep (while reading, computer, etc and the other kids were sleeping). When her sleep cycle went to the barely awake stage and she would start to stir, I would rub her belly and do a shush/pat method to help her transition back to the next sleep cycle. If I caught the cycle, I would get at least another 50 minutes or so. I did this enough times until she was sleeping 1.5 hours on the couch herself, without me having to be there. It took a month.

After we got to that point, I laid her in the pack and play and rubbed her back until she fell asleep, to get her used to falling asleep in the pack and play. After a few weeks of that, I would lay her in her pack and play and sit in the room with her, and tell her that she needed to go to sleep but that I was right there. When she finally was able to lay down and fall alseep on her own without assistance, I crept farther and farther away toward the door each day, until I was able to lay her down and just walk out.

She will occasionally fuss now for a minute or two, but I generally get 2 hours now.

It was a lot of work, but I was willing to do it for my dd. Some babies need more, and I did all of that song and dance as a last resort.

[sahm2three]

Her schedule goes like this:

7:45am- Arrival. Goes straight to high chair to eat breakfast which is usually little finger foods like plain pancake and bananas, etc...

8:15am - 9:00am- Play. Crawling, pulling herself up, etc... Sometimes the jumper, too.

9:00am-11:00am- Naptime. Usually is awake by 9:30-9:45 and plays/cries until 11:00.

11:00am: 8oz bottle

11:00am-12:00pm- Play. Crawling, pulling herself up, etc... Sometimes the jumper, or exersaucer. Sometimes outdoor play during this time as well.

12:00am- Lunch. Finger foods or baby food.

12:00pm-12:45pm- Play. Same as described above.

12:45-2:45pm: Naptime. Usually is awake by 1:15pm and plays/cries until 2:45. Occasionally will cry herself back to sleep (maybe 2-3 times per week) and will sleep about 40 add'l minutes.

2:45pm-5:45pm: Play, outdoor play, walks around the neighborhood until her mom picks her up. From about 4pm until 5:45pm she is absolutely unbearable. If I try to put her back down for a 3rd nap- she screams like I have never heard a baby scream before. I have tried CIO for this and it has never worked. I cannot get her to take a third nap ever.

I think you are napping too late in the morning. I put my babies down by 8:30. They are up by 10:00. We play hard, eat lunch at 11:30 and it is nap time again between 12:30 and 1. Maybe try moving morning nap to earlier?

[cheerfuldom]

Have her eat breakfast at home and then put her down for nap right when she gets to your house.

If she has to eat at your house, feed her and then put her to nap.

[Lilbutterflie]

My dd was like that. She even got "termed" from her daycare provider because of it (hence, me becoming a provider). Her doc said that she is in the 10% of babies for which CIO doesnt work. I finally got her to nap well. This is what I had to do:

After I got her to sleep (I did babywearing to get her to sleep), I laid her on the couch and literally watched her sleep (while reading, computer, etc and the other kids were sleeping). When her sleep cycle went to the barely awake stage and she would start to stir, I would rub her belly and do a shush/pat method to help her transition back to the next sleep cycle. If I caught the cycle, I would get at least another 50 minutes or so. I did this enough times until she was sleeping 1.5 hours on the couch herself, without me having to be there. It took a month.

After we got to that point, I laid her in the pack and play and rubbed her back until she fell asleep, to get her used to falling asleep in the pack and play. After a few weeks of that, I would lay her in her pack and play and sit in the room with her, and tell her that she needed to go to sleep but that I was right there. When she finally was able to lay down and fall alseep on her own without assistance, I crept farther and farther away toward the door each day, until I was able to lay her down and just walk out.

She will occasionally fuss now for a minute or two, but I generally get 2 hours now.

It was a lot of work, but I was willing to do it for my dd. Some babies need more, and I did all of that song and dance as a last resort.

Thanks for the suggestions. I am so happy your DD is finally sleeping well for you!

I can completely understand that amount of time & devotion you had to get your DD napping well for you; but I just can't do that here. I can't give up my only rest time for 11 hours so that I can watch her sleep and get her back to a deep sleep before she fully wakes. And then spend the time transitioning her back to a pack n play, and then transitioning her back to not being able to see me. I just don't have that kind of time or commitment. I value my QUIET rest time way too much to allow for that. Especially since my QUIET rest time is only anywhere from 20-40 minutes each day.

[cheerfuldom]

dont feel bad if things arent working and you arent willing to try and be there to soothe her at every moment. Like the PP said, that is something a MOTHER would do. If you have a provider, I dont think that is a fair expectation and may not even work because parents will be doing something else at home. Try the nap first thing in the morning...that really helped all three of my daycare kids at one point or another.

[MrsB]

How is she on the weekends? What do parents say about it?

[renodeb]

I have an 8 m/o dc baby who hasnt slept well since I took time off at Christmas. She was sleeping fine before that. I had found out from mom that she was held constantly during the holidays by her and relatives and that the only way she would sleep was while held. I also found out that she was still sleeping in mom and dads room at 7 mos b/c of moms laziness (she admitted that to me) I pushed the mom big time to move her into her own room and let her CIO b/c other wise she will never learn selfsoothing. She finally did and she is sleeping better but not great. She sleeps maybe 40-60 minutes in the morn and then another nap later in the morn for 30-60 minutes, then she goes down again for her afternoon nap which is 60-80 minutes. Yesterday she slept and hour all day and was a real grump by pickup time. I have tried everything but if mom continues to hold her at home theres not much I cna do here. I don think mom really believes she that tired. I can tell her that she is! Its frustrating.
I guess some kids are just hard to get to sleep. I would toy with the idea of an earlier am nap maybe? I so sympathize with you. Hang in there!
Debbie

[Lilbutterflie]

Try the nap first thing in the morning...that really helped all three of my daycare kids at one point or another.

Usually when she comes at 7:45a, she has just barely gotten up by 7, had a morning bottle and brought to me. So if I did morning nap first thing, she'd be going to nap practically right after she woke up. Perhaps next week I'll try putting her down by 8:30-8:45am and see if that helps.

[Lilbutterflie]

How is she on the weekends? What do parents say about it?

She doesn't nap well for parents either. DCM made a comment a few days ago that last weekend she had a two hour nap and that she has NEVER slept a two hour nap for them ever.